*Kind of an extra long chapter*
I bent over the grass, puking for what felt like the hundreth time. Aster had been taking care of me all day, through the nausea, headaches, and vomiting that he said were normal on your first full moon. Speaking of the full moon, it was high above our heads as we made our way further and further from the house and the other werewolves. I could barely smell them anymore.
Aster looked over his shoulder at me. He was restless, too. He wanted to shift as much as I did, but he was refraining from doing so in order to help me. I fell to my knees a couple feet away from in on a carpet of damp moss. I couldn't go any further, not with the Wolf clawing at my insides like a rabid animal. My bones felt ready to snap and shove their way up out of my skin. It was almost unbearable.
Aster knelt down next to me. He held my face in my hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "I know you're strong, Red. You've made it further than most. Are you ready to shift? Because if you're not, then-"
"I don't have a choice, asshole," I hissed through teeth grit in pain. I didn't mean to sound so bitter, but I was in a lot of agony and just wanted to get it over with. Wolf needed to run, to kill, to be alive. It'd been trapped inside me for almost a month now, and they weren't happy about that. They wanted to lead my body's decisions.
Aster nodded. "Okay. It's going to hurt, more than it already does."
"Great pep talk, thanks. I'll remember that when I'm older."
Aster shook his head. "Alright. All fours, dig your fingers and knees into the dirt. You have to connect to mother nature. Once you shift, your body will become a part of her cycle, a part that humans don't have access to."
I did as I was told, sweat dripping down my neck as I tried not to pass out. I clenched my fingers, sinking them deep into the soil beneath me. I felt wet mud beneath the spongy moss. My whole body trembled with anticipation as I closed my eyes, trying to steady my uneven panting. Was it always going to be like this?
"You're doing fine. Picture yourself as a wolf. Shaggy fur, a long muzzle, big ears, a poofy tail, etcetera. Got that?"
I nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. I bowed my head over my quaking arms and screwed my eyes shut tightly. At first I imagined Aster in his wolf form. Big, strong, dark. His thick brown coat, his gleaming yellow eyes, his ears raised alertly. His huge tail sweeping over the dead leaves and fallen twigs. Then I pictured a different wolf, the one that I wanted to be. Dark ginger fur, plain green eyes. Short, stout ears and a bushy tail. A slender but muscular build, and abnormally long legs. My eyes shot open and I gasped as I felt something crack in my arms. It felt like my bones had just been broken. I looked up Aster, tears flooding my vision as I tried to explain the pain to him. All that came out was incoherent blubbering.
Aster nodded. "Your body has to rearrange itself entirely in order to complete the shift. Once its completed it once, you won't have to go through this pain again. It gets easier every time you do it. I promise."
I nodded meekly, closing my eyes once more. Wolf growled in my stomach, furiously attacking my entire body. Hot, flashing lights framed the corners of my vision as I fell to the side, twitching violently. My bones were cracking and snapping loudly as they bent in ways they shouldn't. I felt my chest grow broader, and I felt my face start to elongate. I didn't want this. I didn't want this at all. I let myself cry freely, my tears soaking the fur covering my body. Dark ginger fur like I had imagined. Soon my legs and arms were almost identical, and covered in a layer of thin orange fur. I opened my eyes. The bone-shattering pain of what had just happened was still there, but nothing else was changing. I tried to stand up, but almost instantly slumped back down to the soft earthy ground. I buried my nose in it, drinking in the fresh scents of the night air. That was enough to wake up Wolf.
"Wow..." Aster breathed.
I had almost forgotten he was there. I opened and closed my new jaws, running my long tongue along my sharp new fangs. Wolf wanted to run, I could feel it tugging at the seams, trying to take control. I was still strong, even in my weakened state. I wanted to follow Wolf's command, and take off into the night, but Aster was the alpha, and no matter how much Wolf wanted to run free it would still listen to those above it. That was order in a wolf pack. I bowed my head up and down, trying to get used to the heavy feeling of such a gigantic noggin. I scratched at my head with my new front paw, my claws itching the skin beneath a thick layer of fur.
This feels so weird, I thought. I wanted to tell Aster that I was okay now, but all I could do was bark.
Wolf screamed at me. RUN! RUN! KILL!
I bobbed my head up and down, trying to flush out the angry voice. Wolf was stronger in this state, and it was feral after being out of control for so long. All it wanted to do was take the lead. I turned my head, bracing my legs to take off into the thick brush, but I felt Aster's warm hand on my shoulder.
"Stay."
I looked up at him in disbelief. My brows furrowed. Stay? Why?
Aster walked a couple feet away and sat down cross-legged on the grass. He patted his thigh, the slapping sound echoing throughout the tiny clearing. I tilted my head in confusion. "Come here, Red. Come here," he was beckoning me like a dog, and I was ashamed to admit that it was working. I hopped from foot to foot, weighing my options. On one hand, Aster. On the other hand, forest. Or maybe they were paws now, not hands. Aster snapped his fingers, and even as a wolf I still flinched. "Be a good boy. Just because your a wolf now doesn't mean your all high and mighty. Come here."
I hung my head and dragged my feet over to him. I stared up at him hopefully, my tail wagging in anticipation. Was he going to let me run now? Aster brought a hand up to my face and started rubbing the fur just beneath my chin. I leaned into his open palm, rumbling low in my chest at the comforting feeling. I laid down next to Aster, letting his fingers knot in my fur and rub each part of my head and back vigorously. Wolf had forgotten about running. It wanted Aster's attention, all of it. It wanted to be Aster's favorite, to be a good boy for him. I did too, but I still had a little bit of self respect left in me. Aster's strong hand flipped me over, and started rubbing up and down my belly. I wriggled with pleasure, letting his firm fingertips caress my underside. I whined.
"Who's a good boy?" Aster crooned, praising me at every opportunity.
I was panting when he finally pulled his hand away. Wolf wanted more. I nudged his leg with my nose, looking up at him with my best attempt at puppy eyes. Aster shook his head and laughed at me. Aster bent over on all fours, and in a flash he was a wolf too. It was like I had blinked and he had grown ears and a tail. I couldn't wait until I was able to shift that easily, but right now I wanted to be close to Aster. His warm fur, his hot breath, his gentle touch. I whined, padding around him in a circle. Wolf knew not to approach the alpha without permission, but it was hard for me to see Aster as an alpha. Aster wasn't staring at me, he was looking upwards at the night sky. I could see the reflection of the moon and stars in his bright yellow gaze. He was watching the stars with a wistful look on his face. I barked sharply, trying to get his attention.
Aster brought his shaggy head downwards and blinked at me. What did I want?
I bowed down, my tail wagging furiously. Aster straightened and lunged at me. His heavy paws thudded on the ground on either side of my head as he flipped me over with his strong head and pinned me to the grassy earth. I pawed gently at his belly and he buried his nose in the fur at my neck, breathing in deeply. It felt ticklish, his wet nose scouring every inch of my new body, but I didn't push him away. Wolf adored the attention, and I just wanted to be close to him.
Aster finally pulled away, giving my muzzle a gentle lick before stepping away. Abby poked her blonde head out of the bushes, her blue eyes gleaming with excitement. She bounded over to us and butted her head against mine, yipping with excitement as she danced around me in an eager circle.
Aster growled low in his chest, shoving between us. Abby sat back on her haunches, mock-growling back. But we knew she didn't mean it, and Aster's tense shoulders relaxed. He pressed his nose against my cheek one last time before turning to the East, back to the house. The other werewolves had all shifted, I could smell them on Abby's blonde coat. Aster wanted to take me to see them all, now that I had shifted and was controlled enough.
Aster bounded off into the bushes, Abby and me right on his heels. The wind rushed by me as we raced through the night forest, the sounds of birds and crickets all mingling together into one nighttime symphony. It was only a matter of minutes before we broke into the clearing surrounding the house and I skidded to a halt next to Aster, my chest heaving. Running felt amazing. The sound of my paws thudding against the earth and the feeling of my heart pounding against my chest. I wanted to do more. I shifted from foot to foot next to him, whining pleadingly.
Aster shook his head sharply, and tilted his head back to let a loud bark ring out across the clearing. Heads turned. Eyes of all different colors and sizes fell on me, and the clearing broke out into a cacophony of howls and yips of cheer. They were all excited to see me, excited to see that I had shifted. I puffed up my chest proudly as the wolves swarmed me, nosing my fur and beneath my belly. I was a little uncomfortable with all the closeness, but Wolf wasn't afraid of physical contact so I tried my best to let them lead for this one. Tyler stayed back, on the edges with Elaine. The pups were in the crowd too, yipping happily and wrestling one another between my legs.
Aster looked upset, and he barked angrily. All the wolves rubbing against me instantly froze, bowed their heads, and backed away obediently. I bent down and nuzzled Loki's furry head fondly. Aster growled low, and the wolves started pairing up and going off on their own, their tails slipping away behind the bushes. The pups ran back over to Elaine, for once listening to Aster.
Aster rubbed his chin on the top of my head, and then bowed playfully, giving me a short bark. He wanted to run with me. I leapt to my feet, my tail whipping the air around my furiously. We both braced ourselves, and took off into the night.