I was sitting at my bedroom window, watching a couple owls in my tree. It was probably the luckiest thing I had ever witnessed. Seeing owls were rare, but here were two. Sure they were sharing a bloodied, broken mouse on a branch and I was watching the clumps of fur and bits of bone disappear down their gullets but it was still kind of majestic. They were screech owls, I think. Just as I was about to pull out my phone to take a picture, something clattered against my window. Whatever it was had been a blur, so I craned my neck downwards to see what it was. Aster was standing below my window, waving his arms. He threw something else at the window. It was a tiny pebble. I couldn't believe it. Plus he had scared the owls away, and I watched them flap their wings and take off in disappointment. Stupid Aster, ruining everything.
After I beat Umbridge I had taken Abby to my house so that she could meet my parents. I told them she was a part of the family that lived in the big house, and my parents welcomed her eagerly. I think part of them hoped that I had found a nice girl to date, like maybe I was bisexual or pansexual or gay. It wasn't because they were homophobic, it was because they wanted me to settle down and there weren't any gay guys in our little town. But when Abby left, I stayed home and didn't go back to see Aster or Elaine or the pups. Which probably worried Aster, so he'd come to my house and know he was upset about something or another.
I tip-toed down the hallway and down the stairs to the front door. I cautiously cracked it open, and beckoned for Aster to hurry his ass up. Once he was inside I shut the door, grabbed his hand and dragged him carefully back upstairs and shoved him into my room. My parents were in the basement, watching horror movies, so hopefully they wouldn't hear me yelling at Aster. Or vice-versa.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed. I crossed my arms and leaned against my door, watching Aster angrily until he seemed to get what I was signaling and backed away a couple feet, towards my bed.
"You didn't come home. You weren't there when I woke up, and you didn't come back! Elaine and the pups didn't know where you were, but Abby and Umbridge were gone so I thought that you were in trouble."
"So why didn't you come look for me?"
"You were like eight miles away, there was no way I could get there fast enough to keep Umbridge from beating you up."
I scoffed. "Gee, thanks. And anyways he didn't, and we're friends now. So suck on that-" I said, flipping him off with both hands.
Aster's eye twitched slightly. "Red..."
"Don't use that fucking tone on me," I snapped.
Aster flexed his knuckles. "Red, I am the leader of this pack. If you keep insisting on being so disobedient, then I will have no choice but to keep punishing you or kick you out of the pack. I've given you time to ajdust to your Wolf, and I've tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but no matter how much I might like you as person, it is pack rules that you can't disrespect those higher than you. Like you did with Umbridge. You were lucky to beat him twice, now he can't fight you again."
"He wouldn't anyways, dumbass. Didn't you hear me?" I cupped my hands around my mouth. "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW."
Aster closed his eyes briefly. "Red-"
"No. Ever consider that maybe I don't want to be a part of your pack, huh? Maybe I don't like you at all. Maybe I want to be part of Abby's pack. I'd rather her be the alpha than you."
Aster crossed his arms. "Doesn't work like that, Red."
"Well maybe it should!"
Aster growled low in his throat, and I growled back at him. Aster's eyes crackled like an uncontrollable wildfire. He was mad. Wolf was starting to regret crossing him. "What were you doing out there in the woods with Abby anyways?" he asked suspiciously. His words dripped with jealousy and disdain that not even the most skilled werewolf could hide. Even though he was mad at me, it was still kind of cute that he was pretending not to care about my every whereabout.
"I was just walking and Abby followed me. We talked, she tried to show me how to shift but it didn't really work-"
"You did WHAT?!" Aster moved quickly, and he grabbed me and slammed me into the wall. His arm pinned me against the bumpy concrete and his eyes were practically glowing with an uncontrollable anger. "Say that again." I shook my head, turning away from him. Aster grabbed my face with his free hand. "Fucking look at me, puppy," he snarled. I wasn't Red anymore, and I knew it. I was even lower than that to him right now. Wolf whined inside me. His breath washed over my face. It smelled like meat. I moistened my lips. "Look at me," he whispered, dropping his voice to a sickeningly sweet tone. "Why won't you look at me darling? Is it because you know you fucked up?" When he said this he dug his elbow more into my chest, shortening my breaths.
Wolf told me to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness. I tilted my head upwards so that I didn't have to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry! It didn't work. I was too nervous to shift and that kept the Wolf trapped inside it wasn't a big deal."
Aster pressed against me more. "How can you say that? Shifting for your first time is a big fucking deal, and I'm supposed to be the one that helps you do it. Do you understand me, puppy? I'm supposed to help you. Not Abby, not Umbridge. I am sick and tired of you thinking you can do whatever you want. Maybe you need another punishment?"
I shoved him away. "Go fuck yourself!" I yelled, hot tears stinging my eyes. "I fucking hate you and I fucking hate how you make me feel!" The Wolf was trying to stop me, desperately beating at my insides to try and get me to stop. Aster stared at me in shock for a few moments. "I don't want to be a fucking werewolf and its your fucking fault I'm like this! Sorry I want to get along with the pack that you like to think you can force me into! I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, and you keep getting pissed!" I covered my face with my hands. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!"
Silence lapsed between us. I was openly crying now, hot tears streaming down my face as I sobbed. Large, shuddering breaths racked my chest as I tried and failed to somehow contain my emotions. All I wanted was to go back to normal. I wanted to be the stubborn, witty introvert that hung out with the lesbian and the mute. I didn't want to be a werewolf. The strength was nice, and so was the smelling, but it had wedged a gap between me and my family and friends. Those were who I cared about, not my pack. It wasn't even my pack. It was a pack that I had accidentally stumbled on. If I had never gone walking in the woods that night everything would still be normal and I never would've met Aster. Everything would be so much better.
"Come here, Red."
Wolf was taking control now because my human half was too upset to lead. And Wolf wanted to listen to Aster, so my legs started moving against my human side's protests and walked over to Aster. I wasn't sure what I expected him to do. He was probably going to slap me, or throw me to the floor or something. I still hadn't forgiven him for when he spanked me, nor for the tiny red fingerprints he left all over my arms when he grabbed me too roughly. Instead of hitting or yelling, however, Aster wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. Wolf wasn't prepared for this, but I was more than happy to bury my face into his broad chest and wet his T-shirt with my tears.
"Shh, please don't cry," Aster murmured into my hair. He supported the back of my head with his hand and used his other one to hug my back. "I'm so sorry I've hurt you in this way. I never should've bit you, I never should've dragged you into this world."
"Y-You thought I was h-hurting the pups," I sniffled.
Aster sighed. "That's no excuse for biting you. I should've used my claws instead of my teeth. When I attacked you I was so angry. I don't think you could fathom the rage I felt when I thought someone was hurting the pups, especially when they go through so much already. I was ready to kill you, that's why I bit you. I thought that if you survived you deserved the fate of becoming a werewolf on your own, but then I got a good look at you. You were so gentle, and so... forgiving. You weren't mad at me. You stopped screaming. You were going to let me kill you, and you weren't upset about it. You lay there and were ready to let it happen. I couldn't- you have no idea how much it hurt me. It felt like my heart had just been ripped out and stomped on. I was honestly mad at you for making me feel something so raw. For making me care about someone again."
"You care about the pack, you said so yourself."
"I don't care about them in the same way."
"What does that mean?"
Aster shook his head. "Another time, Red."
Hearing him say my name was a huge relief. He wasn't angry with me anymore, and that was all I cared about. Aster was right, I had to get used to being a werewolf. I wanted to hang on to my old life, but that really wasn't possible anymore. Aster led me over to the bed and laid me down. He slid in next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his solid chest. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth and closeness of another person for once. It didn't make me uncomfortable this time, it made me feel safe.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"For what?"
I sighed. "For disobeying you."
Aster smiled at me. "I think I like bratty boys a little, especially you. Now go to sleep. You need rest. The full moon will be here soon." His words sent a shiver down my spine. Soon I wouldn't be able to pretend I was human anymore. I would have to shift, and I would be thrust into the new world face-first. I couldn't be the newbie anymore. I had to choose between being a stray or being in Aster's pack. So many decisions, too many options. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sound of Aster's breathing. Right now, I was safe. I didn't have to worry about any of that when I was with Aster. I snuggled deeper into the crook of his arm, and let my mind drift off into a heavy sleep.