Chapter 5: Chapter 4

LILLIAN

Summer. The absence of makeup. The scent of the sea. The familiar aroma of home. Happiness was a collage of these sensory experiences, and the smiles of those she loved.

She had longed for them, and they had yearned for her. They were all there, throwing a grand party to celebrate her return. Their presence warmed her heart in a way nothing else could.

Her tribe.

She had missed the cacophony they created, and she knew she would miss it even more in a week when they’d all depart for the cruise. If she had made up her mind earlier, she could have joined them.

But now it was too late, and honestly, she preferred to stay put. She just wanted to be home—to rest and sleep in if she wanted to.

She embraced each family member tightly. This meant she spent nearly twenty minutes just hugging people. She enjoyed that too.

She hadn’t hugged them in months. Her mom, dad, older sister, Anna with her husband and their kids, and her older brother Tim with his family.

Once the hugging was over, she indulged in her mother’s cooking. She could never get enough of it. Her oldest sister had inherited the culinary talent, but Lillian…

Well, she was a decent cook, but her mother was the best, and her sister was a close second. She didn’t feel the need to compete, knowing it would only stress her out. She had learned to pick her battles, and cooking wasn’t one of them.

At least she hadn’t poisoned anyone. She excelled in other areas, which was why she had graduated with honors—top of her class.

Even if cooking wasn’t her forte, the delivery guys needed to make a living. Why ruin it for them?

The questions began the moment she arrived and didn’t cease even when she started eating and couldn’t respond. Luckily, she knew most of them didn’t expect an immediate answer.

They were just showing her how happy they were that she was home and that they cared about her life. She shared everything she could about her city life, although there wasn’t much to share.

She was mostly working and didn’t have time for much else. She even teased them about deciding to take a cruise while they had never visited her.

“It depresses us,” her dad said. “It’s all gray there.”

“It’s not really, Dad,” she laughed.

“It seems that way.” He shrugged. “And if we start visiting there, you’ll stop coming here.”

“That’s not going to happen,” she assured him.

“Tell us more,” her mother urged.

“That’s all.” She smiled.

“No boys?” her mother probed.

“Nope.”

There were boys, of course, from time to time. But her dad would have a heart attack if she discussed her flings. So, it was best to save that conversation for when she was alone with her mother and sister.

But they had plenty of news to share with her, and she listened with great interest until she began to yawn from exhaustion. It was late, and being there made her instantly relaxed, inviting sleep to creep in.

***

Three days later, she felt rejuvenated and well-fed. She had slept without an alarm, eaten to her heart’s content when she wasn’t at the beach, swimming and playing with her nieces and nephews.

She was enjoying every moment.

“I don’t feel right about leaving you behind to go on that cruise,” her mother confessed one evening.

They were sitting on the porch, sipping homemade lemonade. Her mother made the best lemonade in the neighborhood. Actually, she was the only one in the neighborhood who made lemonade.

Everyone else made iced tea, but Lillian never liked it, so her mother started making lemonade when she was seven.

“Why not?” Lillian chuckled. “You’ve been planning this for months, and I know you’ve dreamed about it for years.”

“True, but we’ll all be together, and you’ll be here all alone in an empty house. It feels like we’re excluding you.”

“Mom, I don’t mind,” she replied sincerely. “And honestly, I practically excluded myself from this, so there’s no reason for you to feel guilty.”

“You’re alone all year, Lillian, living so far away from us. Coming here and being alone all over again…”

Her mother’s voice trailed off, and Lillian moved her chair closer to give her a tight hug and a kiss on her temple.

“Mom, I’m all grown up. You don’t have to worry about me feeling abandoned if you leave me here,” she said, her voice light with humor.

Her mother chuckled, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

“Seriously,” Lillian reassured her. “Honestly, there’s only so much noise a person can take, and a week with all of you is more than enough for me.”

“Thanks for calling us noisy,” her mother retorted, a smile playing on her lips.

“You guys are loud.”

“We’re your family.”

“And I’m both lucky and grateful for that.”

Her mother leaned in, planting a kiss on her forehead. “You’re not just saying all this to make me feel better, are you?”

“Nope. At least I get to see you off on your big adventure, and then I’ll have this huge house all to myself.”

“You’ll behave, won’t you?” her mother asked, her tone playfully stern.

“Don’t I always?” Lillian shot back with a smirk.

“Oh my!” her mother exclaimed, feigning shock. They both burst into laughter.

***

Three days later, they were all gone. But not before they’d asked her a hundred times if she’d be okay alone and begged her a hundred more to change her mind and join them.

She found their concern endearing, but a part of her was relieved to finally be alone. That was the downside of living alone for years. You get so used to it that being around people for too long becomes overwhelming.

And Lillian was a bit of a loner, not by nature, but by habit.

In high school, she’d had plenty of friends. She was one of those lucky kids who could fit in anywhere without a problem. She was a top student, but she was also pretty enough not to be labeled a nerd, so she looked back on her school years with fondness.

But unlike most people, she didn’t long for those days. Living in the past isn’t really living. Those years were great while they lasted, but she had her whole life ahead of her, and she preferred to focus on that.

That being said, she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend her entire life working at “Ryder Corporation.” This uncertainty stemmed from her mild—or maybe not so mild—dislike for her current boss and the fact that she wasn’t supposed to be there as long as she had.

This job was supposed to be a stepping stone, but it had somehow become a permanent fixture in her life without her even realizing it.

Not that it was a bad place to be, financially speaking. She earned more than enough to afford a nice apartment in a good neighborhood and live closer to work, which was a step up from her situation before she started working there.

Lillian figured it had more to do with her negotiation skills than Noah Ryder’s generosity. She’d caught him in a tight spot and had made the most of it.

She’d managed to get him to pay her almost double what his previous assistant had made, just because she could.

“You’re insane,” he’d said flatly when she’d told him how much she wanted to be paid to take the job. “That’s too much for a mere assistant.”

“Your assistant, whom you personally called in the middle of the night to hire back and even sent your driver to pick up because you needed her so badly,” she’d reminded him, a smug smile on her face.

“You’d do well in the finance department,” he’d grumbled.

“Yeah, I know, it’s a shame. But you weren’t hiring, so I had to settle for this position, even though it’s a waste of my skills.”

“Your sense of humor isn’t appreciated, Miss Astaire.”

“I wasn’t joking, Mr. Ryder. Now, about my paycheck…”

“Like I said, it’s too much,” he’d said, giving her a once-over. “Unless you start dressing the part. Lose the goth makeup and those gloomy clothes, and I might consider it.”

“No,” she’d said firmly.

“Why the hell not?” he’d demanded.

“Because, if you see me without my goth makeup, you might realize how beautiful I am and fall in love with me.”

He’d laughed, and she’d let him. It suited her just fine for him to think she was joking. She’d heard about his reputation before she’d applied, and she knew he had a habit of sleeping with his assistants and then discarding them.

That wouldn’t happen to her.

“I take back what I said about your sense of humor. But the problem of how to present you remains.”

“You won’t really have to.”

“That’s impossible, and you know it, Miss Astaire. You’ll be seen in meetings, and I certainly can’t go to client appointments without my secretary to take notes for me.”

“Either you’ll have to keep them quiet about me, or you’ll have to do without me. Just call me when you’re there, put me on speaker while I mute you, and I’ll take notes just fine,” she said with a nonchalant shrug.

She had anticipated this conversation and had her response ready. It was an unconventional approach, sure, but there was no way she was going to show up at work as her usual self.

Better safe than sorry, she figured.

“Miss Astaire, that’s not how an assistant operates,” he reprimanded.

But that’s how it became, and they managed to make it work despite the odd looks they received—more often than not. This arrangement didn’t change throughout her tenure with him.

Then Tamara arrived, and Lillian stayed on. Her life was stable, and she couldn’t risk unemployment. Despite Miss Coleman’s annoyance, Lillian remained as she was.

A few more days passed in her quiet home, and as she developed a lovely golden tan, she realized she didn’t want to stay in this job much longer. The issue was, she didn’t have a plan for what came next.

But she had the rest of the summer to figure it out. There’s more to life than this, she thought.

But that wasn’t the only thing she intended to do.