Chapter 31: Chapter 30

LILLIAN

It had been over two weeks since Lillian last spoke to Noah. She could almost admit to missing him, but her own problems were too pressing to dwell on that. She’d been to three job interviews, but none of the companies had called her back.

She was running out of decent places to apply—places that would pay her a fair wage for her degree. She hadn’t ruled out the idea of switching careers entirely. But if she did, she’d have to give up her apartment because she wouldn’t be able to afford it.

It was a given that she wouldn’t apply for an assistant’s position again. She’d had her fill of that role and didn’t want to have to change her appearance like that again. The novelty of the heavy makeup had worn off long ago, and now she only wanted to use it for Halloween.

She found herself thinking about Noah often. But since he was the one who asked for space, she wasn’t about to be the first one to reach out. She had warned him long ago, but he had gone and complicated things between them.

It was the last thing she needed, but without his almost annoying presence in her life, she felt a bit lonely. One day, she found herself walking past the building Noah had bought. It wasn’t intentional.

She was wandering the city aimlessly, to the point where she was considering going back to her hometown for a week or two. Maybe she would buy the tickets soon. She was starting to feel disheartened by her lack of luck.

It was too early, but her mood was low and she was impatient. She craved immediate progress and was feeling restless. Noah wasn’t there when she passed by—or maybe he was just out of sight.

Either way, it was for the best. As much as she missed him, she didn’t want to see him. Not yet, at least. She went home, made herself a cup of hot cocoa, and settled on the couch.

She was too bored to watch a movie and couldn’t concentrate enough to read a book. She grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and checked her email again. She sighed in disappointment when the only new email was a promotional one from the cosmetics brand she used to love.

But in a month, she wouldn’t be able to afford it. They were offering a good discount, and maybe it would be a good idea to stock up… She shook her head. No, she wasn’t that desperate yet.

Being impulsive with her finances was a bad idea. She didn’t need new cosmetics. She needed to clear her head. Right then and there, she decided to take that trip home.

She booked the tickets and felt a wave of relief wash over her. She didn’t like feeling idle in this city, so she would leave for a week. Then she would come back and continue her job search.

She knew it would take longer than she wanted, and she had to accept that. When her phone rang, it startled her, and she jumped.

“Maggie?” she asked, laughing as she answered.

“Since you didn’t bother to call, I thought I should check up on you,” Maggie teased.

“You must be really bored,” Lillian joked back.

“Just really tired, like when you were here.”

“Is your adorable kid giving you trouble?”

“Asher’s dad says I should wait until she starts walking, but I’m already drained. I love her to bits, but…”

“You need a break, I get it. But Mr. Ryder is right. It’s going to get harder when she starts walking, and then when she starts talking. My sister thought things would get easier when her firstborn started talking, but she was in for a shock.”

“Please, don’t scare me. Just tell me what’s new with you.”

“I don’t have much to report,” she sighed. “I’m job hunting, but nothing’s come up yet, and I’m feeling a bit deflated.”

“That can take a while. I speak from experience.”

“I know, but the waiting is killing me. Actually, just before you called, I booked tickets to go see my parents.”

“You could come here, you know.”

“I was there two weeks ago, and I came with Noah.”

“You’re always welcome here, especially if you’re up for babysitting Molly.”

They both laughed.

“Working for my stay, I like that. But my trip is set, and I really want to see my parents. I need to reassure them that I’m okay.”

“You’re always welcome here, Noah or no Noah.”

“Would you prefer no Noah?” she ventured.

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me. He’s not the jerk he once was, and he’s been trying to start a business. But I’m sure you’re aware of that.”

“I am,” she responded a bit rigidly, hoping her discomfort wouldn’t show.

She didn’t let on to Maggie that she and Noah were no longer on speaking terms. Instead, they chatted about other things for another twenty minutes before ending their call, promising to catch up again soon.

That conversation made her feel a bit better.

***

Winters in her hometown were a different breed. She always noticed that when she visited. While she was there, everything felt normal, but it was only after she left that she realized how quiet the winters were.

It wasn’t a ghost town by any means, but it definitely wasn’t as bustling as it was in the summer. Being a coastal town, it drew crowds mostly in the summer, but it was far from a tourist hotspot.

When winter rolled around, only the locals remained, and the days were shorter, so everyone was heading home earlier. She didn’t mind. She felt peaceful, loved, and cared for.

Her parents were thrilled to see her so soon after New Year’s, but that didn’t stop them from grilling her about her future. She had no answers to give, other than she was job hunting.

“Do you need money?” her father asked. “Because I can…”

“No, Dad. I’m good.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be too proud to ask for help from your family.”

“I’m not proud. I saved money while I was working, and I got a severance package when I left the company. My bank account is still in good shape; otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to come here.”

“I don’t understand why you left such a generous boss, sweetheart,” her mother chimed in.

“Because I wasn’t working directly under him, Mom. Asher Ryder is a great guy, but he’s based in the States. Tamara was my boss here, and she was terrible.”

“Did she treat you poorly?”

“She tried to, but I wouldn’t let her. That’s why I left. I couldn’t be at war with her every day.”

“And how did you get a severance package?” her dad asked.

“I told you, Asher Ryder, the CEO, is a good guy. He made sure I got my summer leave on time to see you before your cruise, and he understood why I resigned.”

“Why didn’t he try to keep you then?” her dad pressed.

“Because it’s easier to find a new assistant than a new company head. Tamara was more valuable, but Asher recognized my worth and my ability to put up with her for so long, so he gave me a severance package.”

“Is this the same man you were seen with last summer?” her mom asked, curiosity piqued.

If she had been eating or drinking something, she would have choked. She shouldn’t have been surprised that the news had reached them, given the town’s penchant for gossip, but she hadn’t given it much thought at the time.

It was just a summer fling, or at least that’s what it was supposed to be.

“Asher Ryder is married, Mom.” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh.”

“And I know his wife.”

“So, who was the man who rented the villa?” her father asked.

“Noah Ryder. He was my boss before Tamara. We ran into each other last summer and spent some time together.”

“Spent time together,” her dad snorted. “Is that what you kids call it these days?”

“Yes, and don’t ask about things you don’t really want to know.”

“Just one question,” her mother interjected. “Wasn’t he married too? I remember you mentioning that.”

“You don’t need to worry about my morals, Mom. He’s been divorced for years.”

Both her parents breathed a sigh of relief, and she laughed. Hopefully, that would be the end of the Noah questions.

She didn’t want to dwell on him. She hadn’t come here for that. In fact, she was here to pick up where she left off with her summer plans before he showed up.

So, she spent a lot of time at the library, not only finishing all the books she borrowed, but also getting to know the new librarian, who she could confidently say had a lot of potential.

Now, all she had to do was figure out her own potential—and what she really wanted.