The rest of the night was quiet. Mom and I put a movie on Netflix but didn't stay awake through the whole thing. I woke up some time during the middle of the night to find that the tv was turned off and a blanket was thrown over mom and I. Cassie. I sighed and stood from the couch before I swung moms legs over the spot I just left and fixed the blanket over her. Once I got to my bed I crawled under the blankets and fell right back asleep.
When I woke up in the morning it was to the smell of breakfast being made. I took a few moments to myself in bed before getting up and walking into the living room. Mom wasn't on the couch and I found her in the kitchen talking with Cassie. Just my luck. I didn't say anything to either of them but took the waiting cup of coffee and took a seat at the table next to Cassie. Once I was sitting mom came over to me and pressed a lingering kiss to the top of my head.
Neither of us said anything for a few moments as mom gave me a plate of pancakes with a whipped cream smile on it. It got a smile out of me and the lingering tension from the last two days started to dissipated. Mom and I talked about today's game and how excited she was to get to watch us in person. I just wish I could be playing again. I pushed the thought from my mind and focused in on the moment. We had another day game so it wouldn't be long before we had to get ready to go.
Cassie disappeared into her room after we finished breakfast and I started to wash the dishes. I could feel Mom's eyes on my back and it made me wanted to throw a dish at her.
"What?" I asked having enough of her staring still not turning around.
"That girl has a crush on you and it is so painful to sit here and watch you pretend she doesn't." Mom said and hopped up on the counter next to the sink.
"Mom stop it." I said and flung some soapy water at her hoping she would drop the subject.
"I'm serious! You should have heard her the night she called me when you were freaking out. She sounded so scared. Also don't get me started on the looks she's been giving you when you aren't looking." Mom said and wiped the bubbles off her shirt.
"To come back to your room to get something and you find your roommate having a mental break down, I would be scared too. And what kind of gaydar do you have?" I asked as I trying to deflect from the statement and finished washing another plate.
"I would say I have excellent gaydar. So excellent in fact that I have taken it for a spin myself." Mom said and took a sip of her coffee. I dropped the spoon I was washing into the sink and looked at her. "Don't give me that look, after everything that happened with your father, I had a friend who was really there for me through all of it. Then one thing lead to another and I'm going to leave it at that." Mom said and took another sip from her coffee mug.
It took a me a few minutes to wrap my head around what my mom told me. She hopped off the counter after she told me about it to give me some space to process it. I'm totally okay with her going out with other women, but I didn't need to know about her sex life. That was something she could have kept to herself.
When I was done with the dishes, I jumped into the shower and then got dressed for the game. We still had a little while before the game so I thought it might be nice to show mom around campus a little. Once she was ready to go I told Cassie that I was going to show my mom around and she told me she will see us at the game.
After we left the room, mom started teasing me about Cassie again and wouldn't stop until I punched her in the arm. She dropped the subject for now as I showed her around campus for a little bit before we made our way to the rink. It was still a bit early so there wasn't that many people here yet. I did talk to the rink manager and told him that I'll cover Cassies entrance fee for the games. When I did it, mom snickered at me and I flipped her off before we walked down the hall to the locker room.
When I got inside most of the team is here already and they are starting to get ready. I left the locker room side and showed mom to coaches office so they could talk for a few minutes in person about everything. I got to talk with my teammates for a while waiting for my mom. When it came time for warmups, I followed behind the team down the tunnel and hung out behind the bench to watch everyone.
Coach and I talked a little about different line ups for this game and about me getting back out on the ice with the team this week at practice and the games this upcoming weekend. It put a smile on my face and I couldn't wait to rejoin the team this week. I watched the rest of warm ups on the bench and when they were over we all returned to the dressing room. I stayed with the team as everyone got game ready. Just like yesterday the team put on the eye black the same way I use it. Before she put her helmet on Becca came over to me and handed me the eye black and asked for me to put it on for her claiming that she can't get it right. I gave her a smile and applied it just like I would have. Once I was done, Toni came up behind me and with an eyeliner pencil and drew a dark 21 on her cheek.
I saw that she already had one on her cheek and once she was done drawing it on Becca, I pulled my line mates into a hug. After we got it together they grabbed their helmets and started down the tunnel for puck drop while I was left behind in the locker. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was horrible and I didn't like it one bit. Just as I was leaving the locker room I turned around saw my jersey sitting on the hanger in my locker. I walked over to it and reached out to touch it. At the last second I pulled away. I'll get to wear this jersey, just not yet.
With one last look at it, I left the locker room and found my mom sitting in the stands next to Cassie, of course, but at least Travis is also with them as a buffer. I came up the stands and sat behind the trio and said a silent prayer that this doesn't all blow up in my face.
"How's the team?" Mom asked as I sat down.
"They look ready, lets see how they play. Another late game today?" I answered and asked Travis.
"Yup after you guys tonight, are you going to be able to see me play Momma B?" Travis asked.
"Yea for a little bit, I have the red-eye out tonight to be back in Boston tomorrow morning to pick up a shift." My mom said. I didn't say anything but wrapped an arm around my moms' shoulders just to re-enforce she is still here for now. I know once she is gone I'll start to worry again but for now I'm trying to push it away.
It didn't take much longer before the game to start and the team looked okay. They didn't look great but they looked better than they did yesterday. Mom got into the game right away and her and Travis were going back and forth with different tactics while I mostly stayed quiet. Even though she sat with us, we barely knew Cassie was here. She was very quiet watching my mom and Travis go back and forth. So finally towards the end of the first period I leaned over towards her and said.
"They do this all the time when they watched me at home."
Cassie looked over at me and gave me smile before leaning into my arm. I carefully pulled the neck up on my sweatshirt to try and hide the blush that was creeping up my neck but I don't think it worked. I rubbed the scar on my temple and took a breath. Just as I was about to look back at Cassie, I felt another pair of fingers graze my head. The touch was light, feather like almost. I turned to see Cassie eyeing the scar intensely even though her fingers were as gentle as she was handling glass.
"I've never noticed this before." Cassie said to me.
"I'm usually able to hide it well with my hair or a hat." I answered.
"Hockey accident?" Cassie guessed.
"No, just like your leg, maybe I'll tell you one day." I said.
Cassie just gave me a smile and ran her finger the length of the scar one more time before removing her fingers from my hair. Once they were gone I missed them terribly and wished more then anything for her to continue. Our eyes were locked in a trance and I swear I could feel our bodies start to get closer together when all of a sudden I heard someone cleared their throat. My eyes widened and I tried to school my expression as I found who interrupted us. It was my mom and Travis. They were both looking at us like they were waiting for an answer for something.
"We are going to hit the snack bar, do either of you guys want anything?" Travis asked.
"I could definitely use some popcorn." Mom said under her breath but not quiet enough as I'm pretty sure we all heard it.
"Mom" I said and glared at her.
"Alright, so you two will starve while Travis and I get some food." Mom said and joined Travis as he started to walk towards the concession stand.
Cassie and I didn't know what to do with each other after the almost kiss. We couldn't look at each other and in fact Cassie went to go sit with Chad for a bit. When mom and Travis came back and saw Cassie wasn't sitting with us they didn't look surprised.
"What did you do?" Travis asked and mom stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth.
"Nothing! She just got up and went to talk with Chad." I said trying to hide the disappointment I felt.
"Yea exactly dummy, you should have at least said something. Now she doesn't think you're interested. You're going to need to do some damage control." Mom said.
The game going on in front of us was lost to me. My eyes were glued to Cassie's every move. It didn't look like she was talking to Chad much during the game. All I wanted to do was pull her away from him to come sit back with us. But I didn't move. Mom and Travis were so absorbed in the game they ignored my downward spiral. During the third period I left the stands and rushed off to the bathroom for a moment alone. I made sure nobody was in the bathroom with me and I locked the door.
I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. Get a grip McKenna. This isn't Boston anymore. You can be free here. You don't have to hide who you are. You can kiss a beautiful woman in public and not to have fear about who might be around for it to get back to him. This is why you wanted to leave Boston. It's time to start letting all of those thoughts go.
I splashed some water on my face and wiped it dry before I unlocked the bathroom door and walked back to the rink. When I returned Mom and Travis were standing jumping around.
"What'd I miss?" I asked them.
"Megan just scored this beautiful goal between her legs that was amazing." I heard Cassie's voice and turned my head to find her standing next to me.
"Looks like I'll have to catch it on the highlight real then." I said and offered her a soft smile.
Cassie returned it and we sat down together and watched the last few minutes of the game. When the game was over we left the rink and Travis went off to go get ready for his game. Cassie also left mom and I to get some food with Chad before he got ready for this game. I took mom to Gordan Market and we got some burgers for dinner.
After we were done with dinner we walked around a little before we had to go back to the rink for Travis' game.
"I'm sorry for ambushing you about Cassie earlier, I should have taken into account what happened with your father and what kind of impact it could have had with you, for lack of better words." Mom said.
"It's okay, I think it might have been a push I needed to get out of my head. He was always so controlling and oppressive about anything LGBTQ+ related that I buried all of my feelings. It's going to take me a little while to break free of that mind set. I think talking with Dr. Ellis can help with that and just being open about what happened at home.
"Also I just wanted to say, whoever you want to date is your choice mom, as long as they make you happy and they aren't like dad. I just don't need to know the details about your sex life ever again." I said and bumped shoulders with her.
"Who are you and what have you done to my daughter. This mature woman is not who I dropped off three weeks ago." Mom said and looked at me.
"Just finally getting to grow into myself mom, come on, Travis will be waiting for his number one fans." I said and took mom's hand to pull her along to the rink.
I could only hear her chuckle behind me as we headed back to the ice rink for the men's game. I was more engaged while watching his game then I was during my own teams. To me it also looked like Travis got some more ice time. The coach looked like he was putting him out with all different lines to see where he would be the best fit. His size and speed really worked with their second line and even got him his first goal. Mom and I went nuts.
Cassie met us at the rink and thought we were a bit nuts when she saw us cheer for Travis when he scored his first goal. She already knew about how close we are but I think this really confirmed this for her. Travis is the brother I never had and he will always be. This game was moving pretty quickly and before we knew it the guys won their game 3-2.
After the game was over Travis came out of the locker room before showering and gave my mom a hug goodbye. When the two were done with their goodbyes, Cassie, my mom and I left the rink and walked back to the dorm. It didn't take long for mom to make sure she had everything she needed packed back up and ready to go.
When Cassie offered to drive her to the airport, mom refused and instead called an uber. The two hugged briefly and mom and I walked downstairs to the exit to wait for her ride.
"I know my job doesn't let me have a lot of off time but when you come home to play Boston College I took a few days off so we could do thanksgiving together." Mom said.
"That will be really nice mom, I'm looking forward to it." I said and gave her a smile. The uber pulled up a minute later and after a long tight hug mom pulled away and got into her ride to the airport.
I waited downstairs for a few minutes and watched as the car pulled out of the parking lot. A piece of my heart left with my mom but I knew that she will be okay when she goes home. My father isn't that stupid to show up to the house to be arrested again. Even though he has friends in high places, they wouldn't be able to get him out of this if he does something stupid this time.
With my mind settled a bit more I returned up to my dorm room and joined Cassie on the couch. She was watching an old season of American Horror Story as I settled next to her. Neither of us said anything for a few moments before I opened my mouth feeling like I needed to say something.
"In my junior year of high school my father found out that I'm gay. My parents were already in the middle of a messy divorce and my father is a drunk homophobic ex police officer who thinks he could do no wrong. I came home from a hockey tournament with Travis and saw his truck on the sidewalk and ran home to find him cornering my mom.
"He already hit her a few times and I tried to get in between them to stop the fighting when I realized he found my pride flag that I kept in the back of my closet. We fought for a few minutes before he pushed me when I wasn't expecting it.
"I ended up tripping over the rug and caught the end of the coffee table, which gave me the scar. When I woke up in the hospital I had a grade 3 concussion and some wicked headaches. I missed my junior year because I was recovering from it. I had some short term memory problems, ringing in my ears, dizziness, balance issues, I couldn't focus on things for longer than a few seconds and thee worst headaches you could ever imagine.
"He was release from prison last week, I found out on Friday, which lead to my freak out. When I was with my ex-girlfriend there was always this fear in the back of my mind everywhere we went, that I had to look around to see if I saw anyone he knew that would talk to him about me. It's so engrained in me that I needed to hide this part of myself and it's really taken me this long to realize it's a problem and I shouldn't have to live my life constantly looking over my shoulder. So, I'm sorry for earlier at the rink. I'm not even sure if you do have feelings for me in the way I'm having them for you and if I'm reading this completely wrong I am so sorry"
The rest of the sentence died on my lips as Cassie pressed her lips to mine. It took me a second to catch up to what was happening but once it did I pressed forward. I responded into the kiss and was careful not to overstep anything. The kiss continued for another few seconds before I pulled away from Cassie. I kept my forehead pressed against hers and thought wow. Maybe I finally found something good.
a/n: *smirks* so how are we doing? good? yea i thought so. early update because i will be busy tomorrow so enjoy the suprise.
Song on the side is Just So You Know by Jessie McCartney. Kinda perfectly fits McKenna's state of mind when it comes to Cassie right now.