I had to include at least one prom picture ;) I'm the one with the sparkly top and beige train :) Peep my broken foot ð
Chapter Thirty Four
As I wake up, I feel cold and as though I'm missing a sense of comfort. I slowly stretch out to relieve my body of my sleepiness, and when I don't feel myself touching another body I realize what I'm missing.
Hayden.
I open my eyes and look around for him just to see his part of the bed completely vacant. I frown and start to sit up as I glance around his room. I don't see him anywhere so I get up and start down the hall towards the steps, but my phone going off distracts me and I don't make it out of the doorway.
Glancing down at the caller ID, I see that it's my mom and with a heavy sigh and a few moments of debate, I answer.
"Hey mom," I say, my voice sounding rough and dry to my own ears.
"Sweetheart...you need to come home," she says.
I sigh and walk back towards Hayden's room to change back into my clothes. There's no point in arguing with her, it will only make matters worse. "Okay."
"You scared your father and I, Reagan. You can't just disappear like that."
I roll my eyes, "I texted you."
"I know sweetheart, just...come home please."
"Yeah, bye." I mutter, hanging up.
"That didn't sound so pleasant."
I whip around at the sound of Hayden's deep voice, rumbling through his chest before reaching my ears. My eyes widen at the sight before me; he's standing there with nothing but his pajama pants on- hanging very loosely around his waist might I add- with breakfast situated on a tray held gently in his hands, covering only part of his bare torso.
I gulp and set my phone down on the bed as I sit back. "Good morning," I cough out.
He watches me carefully, his eyes gently scanning my face before he walks into the room and sits on the bed next to me, the muscles in his back relaxing as he sets the tray on his lap.
"I didn't think you'd be up so early," he says with a light smirk.
I chuckle, "Why is that?"
"You just don't pin me as a morning type of person."
"I'm really not."
"Not surprised."
"You made me breakfast?" I ask, glancing down at the arrangement of eggs and bacon laid out across the plate.
He raises a brow, "This is for me, Cupcake."
My face flushes and I look away as my shoulders sag, "Oh."
He chuckles and slides the tray onto my lap, "I'm kidding, I figured you'd be hungry after everything last night."
I smile at him and grab a piece of bacon, "Thank you."
"No problem, Cupcake."
Chills go down my spine at my old nickname, and I cover up a shiver.
He stays quiet for a few minutes, snagging a piece of bacon and slowly munching on it. Then he glances at me with worried eyes.
"Are you okay?"
I swallow my bite of eggs and slowly lower the fork, keeping my eyes down on the food instead of on him. Because, number one, he's shirtless and every muscle on his body is like a magnet for my eyes, and number two, I don't want him to see my eyes since I'm really not okay.
"Yes."
"You must think I'm an idiot if you thought that was going to convince me," he says, nudging my shoulder gently. "There's no shame in admitting you're not okay. You got really shitty news last night."
I sigh and fiddle with the comforter, "I don't know. I'm upset, yeah, but I'll be fine. I just need to go home and hear what they have to say."
"Do you want me there with you?" He offers.
I snap my eyes over to him but shake my head, "Thank you, but I need to do this alone."
I feel warmth cover my hand and look down to see his hand engulfing mine, his thumb lightly tracing my knuckles. "You already know this, but I'm always here if you need to talk."
I smile at him, "I know."
After devouring my breakfast, I change back into my own clothes and Hayden drives me to Chloe's to get my car so I can drive home. As soon as I pull into the driveway, Angel comes running from the backyard, squeezing under the hole she and Bruce made, and runs up to my car.
The moment I open the door she jumps onto me and attacks me with kisses, and I hear Bruce howling from the fence. It's too difficult for him to try and pull himself under the fence with only three legs to work with, so I get out of the car and go to the gate to let him out.
He hobbles towards me and nuzzles his head against my hip and I kneel down to hug both him and Angel.
"Hey guys, sorry I left you last night," I mumble into their fur.
"Reagan?"
I pull away from them and look at the two of them oddly. "Uh, did y'all just talk or am I insane?"
"Reagan, sweetheart thank god." I'm pulled up from the ground and into big burly arms and I quickly realize that it was my dad saying my name, not Bruce.
He starts towards the front door, "Come on, we have some things to talk about."
Once we get inside, my first question is just why. And they explain to me that they simply don't love each other anymore, they fell out of love. I asked them how that happened, and they both admitted that they got married for the wrong reasons- they got married too soon and only because they wanted to be married in general, not to each other.
They forced themselves to love each other because they were worried it was getting too late when they first married, and that forced love finally dwindled out.
We discuss what nights go to who, how long the divorce process will take, and who will get what holidays, but they told me that most of that will be worked out in divorce court down the road. For now it's a verbal agreement between the two of them.
And for once, they didn't argue.
"Now, where were you last night?" Dad asks once we finish talking things through.
"I texted mom."
"You really wanted me to tell him you were at a boys house?" She asks with a raised brow.
"Whoa whoa whoa, you were at Noah's house?" He exclaims. "Please tell me you slept in a different room."
I blush deeply and hide my head in my hands, "Is it bad it wasn't even Noah's house?"
"Please tell me it was Logan's," he says.
I shake my head and peek at him through my fingers.
"Hayden's?"
I nod.
He throws his head back and groans. "One boy is enough, and now I have to worry about Noah and Hayden?" He moans, dropping his head in defeat. "Why couldn't you have had a boy?" He asks my mom.
I laugh and slap him and he cracks a small smile, "I'm kidding squirt," he says, pulling me to him for a small hug. "I'm sorry about all this, Reagan."
I shrug, "It's okay, I was tired of the fighting too."
Mom frowns and comes over to hug me as well, "We know."
---
Later in the day, I'm chilling in my room going through last nights events in my head. First the fact I went to Chloe's, and then the fact she called Hayden and not Noah, and then the fact I decided to stay at Hayden's instead of anywhere else.
Being with Hayden had my feelings for him come flooding back. I always knew that I wasn't over him, even while I'm with Noah, but there's no denying it any longer. I can tell myself I don't like him as much as I want, but I know it's not true. I care about him more than I've cared about anyone before.
I feel different around him. It isn't just a rapid beating of my heart or feeling my mouth go dry when I see him, it's more than that. It's a feeling of comfort, a feeling of euphoria, a feeling that no one else gives me. I've been trying my hardest to ignore the attraction I have to Hayden, but it's grown to much more than a simple crush.
I'm in love with him.
And I'm completely screwed. No wonder I don't feel right with Noah, it's because I'm in love with Hayden.
I don't know what to do. The letters always have made me feel one of a kind, but Noah doesn't. I can't find it in me to reject him, but I know I don't want to be with him.
To clear my head, I lean over the side of my bed and fumble around underneath to find my shoe-box of letters. Sitting back up, I place the shoe-box on my lap and delicately take the top off, laying it down next to me as I sort through the letters. I choose at random, and choose one of the first letters I received.
I lift the stark white envelope from the box and look at the small heart on the seal- the same as on every letter I receive.
Dear Beautiful,
You're so beautiful that I'm intimidated to even write these letters. I've never been the type to be intimidated by anything, truthfully, but with you...things are different. Seeing you makes my heart thud to a different beat. Seeing you makes my body tingle with a set of different senses than everyone else.
I don't even know how to explain it, Beautiful. All I know is that I want to be with you more than I've wanted anything. I want to be seen by you. I want to be touched by you. I want to be kissed by you.
Love,
Anonymous.
I tug my bottom lip between my teeth as I try to contain a smile. My hand dances across the letters and I choose the most recent one; the revealing letter. However, something about it instantly catches my eye.
This letter doesn't have a white envelope.
I furrow my brow as I search through the box to see if I simply forgot to put it back in the envelope, but I don't see one anywhere. And another thing about this letter, there's a small heart at the end that no other letter has had.
My heart starts beating faster and harder and I quickly snatch another letter to compare the heart on the seal versus the heart at the end of this one.
My heart drops to my stomach. They are two different shades of red, and they're completely different styles of hearts. I swallow hard and dare myself to look at the handwriting, and I notice the subtle differences in the writing.
The most recent letter has many erase marks and looks as though many of the words were re-written in order to get them as close to the other letters as possible, and he got close enough for me to not notice until now.
Then it hits me.
"It isn't Noah."
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