Chapter Thirty Three
"Retweet," I mumble as I scroll through twitter.
Social media amazes me at times. Half of the stuff I'm seeing is beyond useless for me to know, yet I thrive off of reading through it. I don't know how my parents lived without twitter or instagram because, as embarrassing as it is, I wouldn't know what to do without my phone.
I shift on my bed, curling onto my side as I continue to scroll through my phone. Bruce and Angel grumble when I stretch my foot into their personal space.
"My bed," I mutter in response.
"Hey pumpkin," my dad says, appearing by the doorway to my room.
I set my phone down and smile at him, "What's up?"
He tries to smile back at me, but it doesn't reach his regretful eyes. I scrunch my brow and tilt my head, "Everything okay, dad?"
He looks down and closes his eyes. "Come downstairs, Reagan."
My heart falls at his hopeless tone and I quickly stand up and walk towards him, but he turns and starts down the steps, and I follow after him.
My heartbeat reaches unhealthy speeds when I see my mom sitting on the couch looking tired and as though she's given up.
"Sit down sweetheart," dad says, trying to smile lightly at me.
I gulp and sit down next to my mom, and she has to avoid looking at me.
"What's this about?" I ask.
But I know.
"Sweetheart, your mother and I have been arguing a lot lately," dad starts, "and I know you know that. We've tried to keep it from you, but we would be naive to think you don't know."
My blood goes cold and I snap my eyes to my mom as she speaks up.
Please don't say it, mom.
"We've tried to make things work for you, Reagan. But...we just can't get along. We aren't happy together anymore," she breathes, her eyes tight on mine. "This is so hard for us to tell you, sweetheart," she says, her brows pulled together in worry.
Please don't say it.
"We're getting a divorce."
My body goes numb. My mind goes blank. My eyes unfocus. My breath goes away.
A divorce.
"Your father is moving out this weekend."
He's leaving.
"I found an apartment just a few minutes away, you can come visit whenever you want."
Visit
Visit my dad. Not live with him, visit him.
Their words keep piercing through me. I don't want to hear this anymore.
I abruptly stand up and, without really comprehending what I'm doing, I grab my car keys and run out of the house with my parents calling after me. Bruce tries to run after me, but he isn't able to get down the steps without the help of Angel who stays by the door with my parents holding her back.
Instead he barks after me and starts whining when he can't get to me, but that's the least of my worries.
I throw myself into my car and drive away, finally becoming aware of the tears staining my cheeks. I dial Chloe's number and she picks up on the third ring.
"What's up?"
I sniffle and try to wipe my eyes, carefully watching the road through my blurry vision.
"Can I come over?" I ask, my voice hoarse and miserable.
"Reagan? What's wrong? Did Noah hurt you? I swear to God I will go over there with a chainsaw, duct tape, and-"
"No, Noah didn't do anything. It's my p-parents," I cry.
Chloe knows what I'm talking about right away and I hear her take in a breath. "Of course you can come over, Reagan."
I show up at her house a minute later and she's at the door in a heartbeat. She pulls my shaking body into her arms and tries to calm me down.
"I am so sorry Reagan," she whispers on repeat.
I numbly hug her back, semi-aware of what she's saying. I distantly hear Logan rush inside and try to comfort me. He and Chloe both whisper sweet nothings to me; but they're just that- nothing.
No matter what anyone says to me right now, they can't comfort me. My parents are divorcing. My parents, who I can remember once loving one another so much I could never imagine them fighting at all, are getting a divorce. I knew this was coming, I knew it was inevitable, but that doesn't mean I was prepared.
I keep crying and feel them set me down on the couch, my body shaking and lips trembling. Logan sits close to me and continues his attempts at comforting me, but I can't hear him. I watch his lips move and the concern in his eyes, but I don't listen to whatever he's saying.
Everything is numb.
Suddenly, one noise overpowers the haze I've been hearing and I look up to see Hayden storming inside.
His bright blue eyes scour the room before zeroing in on me, and concern washes over his entire body.
This is the first I've actually held his attention in the past few weeks.
When I see him, more sobs take over my body and without words I stand up and rush into his arms.
He wraps me into his embrace and cradles me there, not daring to let go.
I don't register the fact this is the first I've seen him in the past few weeks- that he's practically ignored me ever since I started dating Noah.
All that matters is that he's here now. He understands what's happening to me.
"They decided not to do it anymore," I whimper against Hayden's chest.
His arms tighten slightly when I start to shake again.
"They're getting a divorce," I manage to say through the sobs in my throat.
"It's going to be okay, Cupcake." He whispers soothingly. "Everything will be okay."
He talks as though it hasn't been weeks since we last spoke, as if we're just as close now as we were before, and I find sweet relief in his voice.
He continues to rock me lightly in his arms as I calm down, and he keeps his arms reassuringly around me as we pull apart and his eyes bore into mine.
I've missed his eyes.
Noah's are such a dark shade of brown that they don't provide any mystery and give everything away no matter who he looks at- Hayden's are such a color of blue that they resemble a number of things, but they mostly remind me of summer. Like his last name. They're blue like the ocean, like the summer sky, like the blue snow-cones I used to serve every day when I worked at the pool; his eyes send me into a wave of nostalgia.
"I'm surprised you came," I say weakly, sniffling while wiping my eyes.
Hayden seems slightly taken aback and wipes a stray tear from my cheeks, placing his arm back around me. "Cupcake, I would have come no matter what."
His words remind me how hurt I've felt for the past few weeks having him ignore me, and I pull away from him with a scoff. My heart stings when I leave his embrace and adds to the pain I'm already feeling from the news of my parents divorce.
"You've been ignoring me," I say.
He looks away and scratches the back of his neck guiltily. "I've been busy," he mutters as his excuse.
I roll my eyes and hug my arms to my body, but he reaches out and takes my hand and looks at me through soft eyes, "But I've missed you. Elliot does too."
I scan his face for a few seconds and then smile softly, there's no point in holding a grudge. Especially not if he's here for me. "I've missed him too."
Hayden smiles slightly, "Is he the only one you've missed?"
I bite my lip and nod, "Pretty much."
He chuckles, "That hurts Cupcake."
I find myself chuckling with him, momentarily forgetting about the pain in my heart from this divorce, and lean forward to hug him, "I've missed you too, Hayden."
He seems to breathe a breath of relief and his arms wind back around me. We walk towards the couch and sit down, the others walking back into the living room, and everything rushes back.
My parents are getting a divorce. They're no longer going to be in the same house together ever again. Only on birthdays and holidays. How is Christmas even going to work anymore? Will I have to choose which parent to spend it with?
No more family vacations, although those stopped a few years back. Now I'll have to ration my summer to both of my parents. No more family meals. No more riding in the car with both parents. No more coming home to both parents.
Tears suddenly make an appearance again, but I swallow them back the best I can.
"Was it this hard for you, Hayden?" I ask quietly. "When you learned that your parents were getting a divorce?"
He frowns and reaches down to take my hand and holds it where it rests on my knee. "Divorce is hard on every kid; you're reacting as anyone would."
"By running away to my best friends house?"
He smiles sadly and nods, "By running away to your best friends house."
I look down at our hands and turn my palm up to interlace our fingers. "How did you react?"
He sighs, "When my dad told me that he and my mom were getting a divorce, I was upset. But it was different for me because I had seen my mom going around with another man. I was devastated of course, but I didn't have anyone to talk to. You do."
I sniffle and squeeze his hand, and he starts rubbing it with his thumb. "I just feel like I'm being childish. It's not like I didn't know this was coming."
Hayden shakes his head, "Reagan, you're acting perfectly. No matter the situation, it's never easy to hear that one's parents are getting a divorce."
"That's still weird to hear. A divorce," I say, not liking the taste of it in my mouth.
He frowns and squeezes my hand, "Do you want to go back home or do you need to stay with me?" He pauses, looks around the room and adds, "Or Chloe."
I sigh and look down, "I don't think I'm ready to go home yet. I don't want to talk to them right now."
I'm not ready to face them. I would just break down again. Heck, I'm still breaking down right now.
Hayden nods understandingly and stands up, my eyes following in surprise.
"Come on then," he says.
"Where are you going?" Chloe asks as we stand up.
"I'm taking her to my house, she doesn't want to go home." He says, then he adds, "And she needs someone to talk to who's gone through the same thing."
Chloe doesn't look at all hesitant to let me go with Hayden, but Logan stands up and crosses his arms.
"Did she say this was okay?" He asks, trying to be a tough and protective brother.
Chloe rolls her eyes and smacks him on the back of the head, "Yes it's okay with her."
He flinches and drops his whole 'tough boy' facade and whines, "Why do you always do that to me?"
I sniffle and stand closer to Hayden, and he frowns down at me. "Ready to go, Cupcake?"
I suddenly, in the midst of everything going on in my head right now, remember Noah and I glance at Chloe in a bit of a panic. She seems to know exactly what I'm thinking and nods reassuringly, and Hayden and I leave.
Once we're in his car, we decided to leave mine at Chloe's, Hayden makes me text my parents that I'm okay, I just need the night to be away from the house. We drive to his house in a comfortable silence with our hands still clutching onto each other. Once we get there, instead of going towards the basement like I'm so used to doing, Hayden leads me up the steps towards his room.
"I'll get you a pair of clothes," he says gruffly as we walk into his room.
I let my eyes wander around as I sit on his bed, and I see that there isn't much in his room to look at. "I've never seen your room before."
He shrugs, "There isn't much to see." Then he hands me some clothes and I take them with a small thank you. "Do you need to shower or anything?"
I have a pounding headache from all of my crying and my face feels swollen and puffy, so I take him up on the offer and follow him down the hall to the bathroom. Once I'm out of the shower, I get changed into the clothes Hayden left for me.
The shirt falls all the way down to my thighs, and the pants don't even stay on me. So I ditch the pants and pray Hayden doesn't think too much of it- and to make sure he doesn't think I'm doing this for him, I wear my bra underneath the shirt.
I walk back into the room to see Hayden setting up blankets on the floor, placing himself down on top of them and I shake my head.
"You take the bed, Hayden. I'll sleep on the floor."
He looks at me and chuckles, "You really think I'm going to let you do that?"
"Well do you really think I'll let you sleep on the floor?"
He grins and sits on the bed next to me, "Good point, you're too stubborn." Then we both pause as we realize him not sleeping on the floor means that we are going to be sleeping in the bed together.
He swallows and looks down, "Are you sure you're okay with me sleeping in the bed with you?"
I look down sheepishly and nod, "Yeah," I say in a small voice.
He stands up to turn the lights off and I get under the covers, snuggling into what smells unbelievably like Hayden. His scent is overpowering me and it's fighting away any tears that threaten to appear, and I cuddle into his feather soft mattress and equally soft pillows.
Suddenly the bed dips on the other end and I feel Hayden's body heat, yet I can tell he's lying as far from me as he can so that I won't be uncomfortable. But as I start to fall asleep, I find myself turning over and snuggling into his side without saying anything.
Hayden doesn't say anything either and wraps an arm around my waist, securing me and making me even more comfortable than before.
"What about Noah?" He asks, his voice barely a whisper- as though he didn't want to ask.
But I don't respond. Instead I act like I didn't hear him, and I fall asleep.
Vote! Comment! Don't hold back ;)
So, what's gonna happen? Is Noah going to find out?