Chapter Thirty One
After having to walk all the way back to my car because I forgot to grab my phone, I finally make my way into school. Since I had to get my phone from my car, and my spot is on the far end of the parking lot, I don't make it inside in time to enjoy the morning in Mr. Duncan's room.
Instead I head straight to my locker, half expecting to see Hayden loitering around it with a letter in his hand. But instead of Hayden, I see Noah waiting patiently for me with a wide smile.
"Good morning, princess." He grins, leaning forward to kiss me.
I pull away to make it a small, chaste kiss since my breath probably still smells like the eggs I had for breakfast. His breath smelled fresh and minty, so I'd rather not embarrass myself with a gross kiss.
He takes my hand and we start walking towards my first class, and he swings our arms as we walk.
"How was your night?" He asks.
I shrug and slow down the uncomfortable swinging of our hands. "It was alright. Logan and Chloe came over."
"What did y'all do?"
"Talked about you."
He chuckles, "Hopefully everything said was good?"
Not from Chloe.
I smile at him and squeeze his hand, "Everything was good. I don't think there's anything bad to be said about you, Noah."
Chloe definitely disagrees with that statement.
He grins and kisses my cheek, "No that's you. You're like an absolute angel."
"I killed my class pet back in third grade, that's not very angelic." I joke.
He chuckles, "You're allowed one pass."
"Only one?"
He grins and kisses my cheek again, and then one more time as if the first wasn't enough. "As many as you want."
We reach my art class and I see Duncan setting class up inside. I watch as he sets papers down on the desks along with various art supplies and I try to decipher what we are going to do today, but Noah takes me from my thoughts.
"Hey," he grins, taking both of my hands in his so that I turn towards him.
I smile, "Hey."
He chuckles and pulls me closer to him, "I'm really glad I get to call you mine."
From something that sweet, you would think I'd get thousands of butterflies. But instead I get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach- a guilty feeling.
Nonetheless, I smile and kiss him on the cheek. "I am too, I'll see you in English."
He smiles and kisses me sweetly, "I'll see you in english, beautiful."
I walk into the classroom, and as I walk towards my seat Duncan walks over.
"What's going on there? Is he the author of your letters or something?" Duncan asks, narrowing his eyes at the door.
I start to get my things out as more students walk into class, "Yeah."
"What about Hayden?"
I pause and glance up at him, staring warily at his guarded gaze. "What about him?"
Duncan shrugs, "You two were obviously getting close."
I go back to getting my things out and shake my head. "Noah wrote my letters, it's as simple as that."
"Simple?" He echoes, trying to catch my eye. "Those dark circles under your eyes don't scream simple to me," he says softly.
I close my eyes and sigh defeatedly, finally turning towards him. "They're that noticeable?"
He nods sympathetically. "That much boy trouble?"
I chuckle and run my hands over my face. "Like you wouldn't believe..."
He smiles and kneels down to by eye level with me. "There's no shame in following your heart, even if it isn't leading you where you once thought you wanted to go."
I stare at him for a long moment, and the bell cuts off any response I may have given. Duncan smiles reassuringly at me and walks to the front of class as more people start to flood inside,
To distract myself from the contradictory thoughts swirling around my head, I people watch. My eyes scan the hallway through the open door and I sort through the sea of students for one familiar pair of blue eyes.
But I never see them.
And the bell rings.
And I don't see them for the rest of the class.
A random girl from my class, Olivia, waltzes in and takes his usual seat next to me, and I stare at her with wide eyes as she starts to get her things out.
I want to tell her that's Hayden's seat, no one is allowed to sit there but him. It's reserved for his cocky, sarcastic, yet undeniably sweet assertions- no one else.
He hasn't missed this class in the past few months, and today was one of the days I needed him here to clear my head. His confident smiles have a way of making my stresses vanish for the time being.
"So Reagan, I saw you and Noah in the hallway," Olivia starts gushing. "Are you two a thing?"
I shake my head to get Hayden off of my mind and I smile at her. "We are, actually."
She squeals, "Tell. Me. Everything."
So I do. I tell her everything about Noah to get my mind off of Hayden.
For the rest of the day, I go through the motions. I walk to every one of my classes, seeking out Hayden in every crowd of students since I haven't seen him all day. I didn't realize how much I would be affected by not seeing or hearing from him- but it's like he up and vanished after I talked to him yesterday.
At the end of the day, I come up on my locker and as I open it, I find myself expecting to see a love letter resting on top of my textbooks. When I don't see one, I remember that my anonymous revealed himself- he has no use in writing me letters anymore now that I know who he is.
But I can't help but still feel like something is incomplete.
Suddenly I feel arms wind around my body from behind and chilling breath on my neck.
"How was your day, beautiful?" Noah breathes.
I turn in his arms, "You just saw me in English, like, five minutes ago."
He grins and kisses me, "I know, that feels like it was so long ago though."
My head spins back to the letters and the realization that I won't be getting them anymore, and I find it hard to focus on Noah's story of the math test he took during his third block.
I thought that being with my anonymous lover would rid my craving for the letters and I would finally feel complete, but even with Noah standing in front of me...I feel empty.
---
"How come you didn't tell me you found out who wrote the letters?!" My mom exclaims as I walk in through the front door.
I drop my backpack and stare at her, "How did you know that I found out?"
"Chloe called!" She exclaims, rushing towards me. "Who was it? She wouldn't tell me!"
I laugh and walk with her towards the living room. My mom sits down eagerly on the couch and practically pulls me into the space next to her, sending me her full attention.
"It was N-"
"Hayden!" She cuts me off.
I blow a puff of air out of my nose and shake my head, "No, Noah."
Her entire body deflates, "Noah? Not Hayden?"
I roll my eyes, why does everyone think it's Hayden?
"No mom. Not Hayden," I say shortly.
She puts her hands up in surrender and sighs, "Sorry, I just thought he was a likely contender. I mean your father and I haven't even met Noah."
"Noah?"
Speak of the devil.
My dad walks into the room with his work clothes still on- pants wrinkled to show that my mom stopped ironing them and dress shirt loose. "Who's Noah? I thought Hayden was the boy I had to watch out for?"
"Tucker why don't you make dinner?" Mom asks.
He looks at her and the light in his eyes dulls, "I'm talking to you and Reagan right now."
"We can talk more at dinner."
"You can't wait ten more minutes?"
"Reagan and I were talking," mom asserts.
"And now I'm talking too."
Mom rolls her eyes and glances at me with a forced smile, "Reagan, honey, are you hungry?"
I look over at my dad, standing tall and proud yet looking utterly defeated and I shrug, "I'm okay eating whenever. Come on dad, I can tell y'all about the new assignment we started in art."
His eyes brighten and he sits in his recliner across the room from us. My mom bites her tongue to avoid saying anything else and instead jumps into our lighthearted conversation. I know she doesn't want to, but she does it for my sake.
They try to act like they're okay around me, but lately it has been too forced and their arguments are heightening. I can clearly see the rising tensions in their marriage, and it scares me.
It scares me because I don't know how much longer their relationship has.
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