Ryan was pinned down, unable to move, and it was clear something was off with Miss Alice.
If it had been Mia or someone else, he wouldnât have felt this awkward. If a little devil like Mia took advantage of him, he could just laugh it off.
But being this close to Miss Alice made him feel guilty, like he was defiling something pure, like a lotus in a pond.
Especially now, after Alice had downed two beers, her face flushed red. She wasnât just tipsyâshe was definitely a little drunk.
Taking advantage of her now, even though it might feel good, would be wrong, right? That would be taking advantage of her in a vulnerable state.
No, no, absolutely not.
[Alice Mood Level â 10, Current: 10/100 (Special State)]
The system notification chimed in at just the right moment, and Ryanâs face grew even more troubled.
Did he really need a notification for this? Even without the system, he could tell Alice wasnât in the right state of mind.
Ryan struggled hard, trying to free himself, but this only made Alice more upset.
Her hands shot out like iron clamps, gripping his wrists. Her eyes were slightly hazy, and after a brief moment of thought, she shoved Ryanâs arms between her legs, pinning them down completely.
Damn.
Ryan wasnât clueless about these things. His hands were pressed against something soft and full, and he didnât dare move an inch.
âExplain. I want to hear your explanation.â
Seeing Ryan stop struggling, Alice seemed to relax a little. Of course, she thought, the only way to keep Ryan was to use force. That was the only thing that gave her peace of mind.
Sure, Ryan was helping her right now, but that felt so uncertain. Especially after seeing Mia today, Aliceâs sense of insecurity had skyrocketed.
Ryan could help her, but he could also help others. That was Ryanâs choice. But Alice didnât want him to have that freedom. She wanted all of his care and attention for herself.
Why didnât Ryan push Mia away? Couldnât he see through her?
âThereâs nothing to explainâ¦â
Ryan turned his head, avoiding Aliceâs gaze. He admitted that he had been a little selfish in how he handled things earlier, but Aliceâs assumptions were way off.
He had hit Marcoâs guys partly out of impulse, but also because it was part of his plan.
There were a lot of people filming at the time, and Ryan knew he wouldnât be able to get the footage back on his own. If Alice had been there, maybe they couldâve salvaged the situation, but she hadnât arrived yet.
So, he needed someone else with enough power to step inâMarco.
When Ryan had fought those thugs, heâd made sure to shout Marcoâs name. There was a good chance that the workers filming had caught that on camera.
In the underworld, mentioning a gang leaderâs name was a big deal. If Marco was smart, he wouldnât ignore this. Heâd retrieve the phones and destroy the footage.
And if Marco didnât do that, Ryanâs actions would at least show that Alice wasnât on the same side as the people who had attacked. It would help clear her name.
Ryan had calculated all of this, and yes, he had kept it from Alice. But how did that amount to self-sabotage?
âYouâre not going to explain? Fine, Iâll do it for you.â
Alice had had enough of Ryanâs vague responses. She tightened her grip, almost crushing his shoulders.
[Alice Mood Level â 5, Current: 5/100 (???)]
Ryan considered himself someone who could handle pain, but under Aliceâs pressure, he was starting to feel like he might confess to anything just to make it stop.
Sheâd been like this once before, in a similar situation. They had been alone in a themed hotel room, and Alice had lost control of her emotions while talking about something personal.
Back then, Ryan had managed to calm her down with a kiss.
But this time, a kiss wasnât going to cut it. Hadnât she just asked, âWhy are you being so nice to me?â
If he kissed her now, heâd never be able to explain himself.
âMiss Alice, itâs notââ
âYouâre not allowed to talk!â
Before Ryan could finish his sentence, Alice clamped her hand over his mouth. Her small, pale hand covered his lips, and no matter how much he mumbled, she wouldnât let go.
âYou hit Marcoâs guys. Maybe you were trying to force Marco to act. I bet thatâs what youâre going to say.â
Aliceâs words hit like a bombshell. Ryan went silent, staring at her in disbelief.
âYouâre not wrong to think that way. But did you ever consider what Marco might do after he collects the footage? Do you really think none of his people were among those workers?â
âThey could easily edit the video, make it look like you were the one who started the fight.â
Alice spoke slowly, each word sharp and precise. You had to give her creditâher mind was incredibly sharp.
Even though she had only heard secondhand accounts of what had happened, she had already pieced together the risks and consequences with just a few sentences.
Ryanâs eyes darted around, trying to find a way to counter Aliceâs argument, but he couldnât. She was rightâMarco wouldnât have let things slide without some kind of backup plan.
âThey were coming for me originally, and you jumped in to take the heat. If thatâs not self-destructive, then what is?â Alice pressed, her logic so clear that Ryan couldnât argue. Looking at it from her perspective, it did seem like he had taken the hit for her.
Ryan fell silent. He had underestimated the situation, and Alice, seeing him stop resisting, grew more confident. She was becoming more convinced that she was right.
Ryan wanted to help her, but at the same time, it seemed like he didnât care about his own life. That was the conclusion Alice had drawn from reading Ryanâs journal.
It was the same when he took that bullet for her. Ryan probably thought that if he died, it wouldnât matter, as long as Alice was safe. And now, with the video situation, if it went viral, the publicâs anger would be directed at Ryan, allowing Alice to escape the crisis.
But what was his endgame?
Alice couldnât figure it out. Ryan was willing to sacrifice his life for her, yet he didnât ask for anything in return. It didnât fit into her understanding of the world.
âRyan, why are you helping me?â
âI was the one who kidnapped you in the first place. Donât you hate me, even a little?â
âYou couldâve had a normal life with Anna. But now, because of me, thatâs impossible. Donât you resent me at all?â
Alice finally let go of Ryanâs mouth. She had been covering his nose too, and Ryan almost choked from the lack of air. He gasped for breath, taking in deep gulps of oxygen.
Anna? What does Anna have to do with this?
First Mia, now Annaâdid Miss Alice think he had some weird relationship with them? That was obviously not the case.
âResentment? I mean, sure, maybe a little⦠but itâs not that big of a deal.â
âThen why are you staying by my side?â
Aliceâs delicate face could no longer maintain its composure. She grabbed Ryan by the collar, her voice trembling. This was the question she had been dying to ask, and now she couldnât hold it in any longer.
Whether it was Anna showing up before or Miaâs current involvement, both had shaken Aliceâs sense of security.
She was truly scaredâterrified that Ryan might suddenly leave her.
Ryan wanted to die. What if he left her through death? What would she do then?
âNo, no⦠I canât let that happen.â
This was a pivotal moment. How Ryan answered would determine the future of their relationship.
Alice held her breath, anxiously waiting for his response.
In her emotional state, she couldnât control her expression. Her face was flushed red, and if you looked closely, you could see a tear glistening at the corner of her eye.
Ryan stared at her, stunned. He hadnât expected Alice to cry.
She shouldnât have any expectations anymore. Expectations only lead to disappointmentâshe knew that all too well.
She had once hoped for a happy, fulfilling life. But when that woman left, saying those unforgettable words, Alice had felt nothing but despair.
Wrapping herself in coldness, keeping others at a distanceâit was all to avoid getting hurt again.
She had probably grown used to being alone. If Ryan hadnât shown up, maybe she wouldnât have become this⦠strange.
âI must seem so weird to you, right? Asking questions like this. I must seem really weird.â
âIs that what you think of me too?â
She wanted to just shoot Ryan right then and there. Maybe that would allow her to return to her calm, detached self. But she couldnât do it.
Kill Ryan, then kill herself? Was that really the best option?
âWhat do you want from me? Ask me for something, anything. Iâll give it to you.â
The girl waited for Ryanâs answer. He could easily come up with some excuse to get out of this, but this time, looking into her hopeful eyes, he hesitated.
And in that moment of hesitation, he instinctively opened his mouth and said something that would make him cringe with embarrassment later.
âBecause⦠I want to see you smile.â
âThatâs it?â
âThatâs itâ¦â
âYou idiotâ¦â