Darrelâs kiss ruined me for life.
Not because his lips were warm and scrumptious. Or because he handled that kiss like heâd been waiting years to taste me. Or because he was solid as steel and who knew Darrel Hastings could be a gentleman whoâd want consent before going to second base?
No, Iâm ruined because Iâm in my couch, twelve hours later, reliving that kiss and trying to pretend that everything is fine.
Itâs not fine.
Iâm not fine.
I have work to do. Iâm supposed to be drafting a concept for a potential client. I need to wow this family because I have no other job lined up, and Iâm desperate to jumpstart my fledgling business.
I should have already emailed this draft, and the fact that Iâm here daydreaming is not cool. The rent, electricity bills and gas prices donât care that Iâm still reeling from Darrelâs sexy mouth.
Focus, Sunny. Focus.
Interior design is an art. Like painting or writing or dancing. I canât go through the motions or itâll reflect in my concept.
Unfortunately, my brain cells are stuck on the kiss. Itâs running on a loop in my mind and it refuses to leave me alone.
This is my fault. I shouldnât have kissed Darrel back. Or guided his hand over my body so he could feel me up. Or stuck my fingers under his shirt and scratched his lean, golden muscles with my nails. And I definitely shouldnât have waited as long as I did to clarify that the kiss meant nothing.
A big fat lie, of course.
Darrel Hastings made me forget who I was, who he was and how, for over a year, heâs been treating me like the town leper. Iâm an idiot for indulging in him. Weâve been at odds since the day we met. Now that my tongue got intimately acquainted with his throat, Iâm suddenly jumping on the Darrel-train?
I pick up my laptop and scrape the digital drawing pen over the screen, waiting for inspiration to strike.
Instead, Darrelâs face appears in front of me, those green eyes dark and disarming. I remember his voice growling, âstop talking, Sunnyâ and a shiver runs down my spine. He got me to stop talking alright. I couldnât say a single word after that kiss.
My phone rings in the silence.
Glad for a new distraction, I pounce on it and answer. âHello?â
âItâs me.â
I straighten when I hear Shanyaâs voice.
âDid you receive the payment?â
I pull my laptop close, maneuver to my bank and check the accounts. With a sigh of relief, I answer, âYes.â
âGood.â Shanya speaks in a dry, I couldnât be bothered with this conversation tone. âI have another project for you.â
My eyelashes flutter. âWhat?â
âI can email the drafts or you can come in to pick them up. Which would you prefer?â In the background, papers shuffle and an intern whispers, âShanya, we need your approval on these wallpaper choicesâ.
âI donât remember saying Iâd come back to work for you.â My voice holds a hint of annoyance.
Something clatters. Itâs probably Shanya, whipping her glasses off her nose the way she always does when sheâs exasperated. âSunny, darling, letâs not do this whole âIâm an independent womanâ song and dance.â
âShanyaââ
âI was young once, you know. I know what youâre feeling.â
âAnd what am I feeling?â
âInvincible.â She sighs. âBut guess what, Sunny. The world is a cold and hard place. After the Stinton Incident, you probably understand what Iâm talking about.â
âFor your information, I solved the Stinton Incident.â
She laughs. âNo, you didnât.â
Fine. Technically, I didnât solve the Stinton incident, but somehow Max Stinton returned my money and made everything okay. Why is Shanya throwing that in my face like it means something?
âHoney, Max Stinton was threatened into returning your money. You think they care that much about you? Youâre a blip on their radar. They have much bigger things to worry about. You werenât even on the list.â
I gulp. âNo, youâre wrong. I asked my friends if they intervened. Alistair didnâtââ
âDarrel Hastings.â
I freeze.
âDarrel Hastings is a friend of Max Stinton. He made the call.â
âWhat?â
âDidnât you know?â She laughs softly. âI guess you didnât. My dear Sunny, it seems your exotic little face has caught the eye of a powerful man. You know Hastings, right? The client who slid me a blank cheque and told me to give you everything your little heart desired. He didnât want you lifting a finger, you sweet thing. Chivalry really isnât dead.â
My eyelashes flutter. âYou told me he gave us that cash because he wanted me out of his hair. Now Iâm supposed to believe that Darrelââ
âDid I say that?â She laughs.
My heart burns like flames are licking at the edges of it. âYou lied to me?â
âMade my own interpretation is a more apt description.â
âShanya!â My stomach quivers.
âThe thing is, Sunny, you could easily jump off the treadmill and become a trophy wife for someone like Hastings. It wouldnât be a bad gig. Heâs from a good family. Military father. Heiress mother. A professional career thatâs nothing to sneeze at. And heâs willing to spend on you, darling. It could be worse.â She pauses. âBut I donât think thatâs what youâre interested in.â
âHow do you know that?â I spit. Iâm confused and frustrated and angry that weâre even having this conversation. âMaybe I want to be Darrel Hastingâs trophy wife.â
âNo, you donât.â She pauses. âDo you know why I hired you?â
âBecause Iâm damn good at designing.â
âBecause I look at you and I see a little of myself.â
âThen you know why I canât go back to working for you.â
âOh, on the contrary. I could be theâ¦â She smacks her lips and I imagine her fluttering her tan fingers as she searches for the right word, âsprawling mahogany tree under which your little branches will flourish.â
âRelying on you is the same as relying on Darrel, isnât it? Youâre using one argument to cancel your own point.â
âIâm showing you that no one gets ahead in this world without help. You thought, in your utter naïveté, that a conglomerate as big and influential as Stinton Group cared about little old you.â The amount of sarcasm in her words could choke me. âNow, youâre hit with the hard reality. The truth, dear Sunny, is⦠if a rich man didnât want to screw you, youâd still be in the same desperate predicament. Youâd still be scrambling to pay your bills and losing credibility in the business.â
My fingers coil into fists. âYouâre crossing a line, Shanya.â
âIâm giving you the wake up call of your life, Sunny. Running your own business and being an entrepreneur might seem glamorous on the outside, but you canât look at those social media stars taking pictures on yachts with bottles of champagne and think success just happens. You need someone to propel you. You need me. And yes, you can continue your little excursion into being your own boss and squabble around in the shadows, flailing your way up the ladder only to be kicked down again. Or, you can stick a middle finger to the system, join hands with me, and become someone great.â
âIs there an Option C?â
She laughs. âThat wit of yours. Iâd forgotten how⦠outspoken you could be.â
âIâm not coming back to work for you. My dream is to design the way I want and build my own brand. That canât happen if Iâm working for someone else and building their company instead of my own.â My voice rises passionately. âI know this isnât going to be easy, but I signed up for that. Iâll stand by the words I said when I walked out of your office, Shanya. I will conquer the interior design world. And Iâll do it by my own hands, not because of who Iâm sleeping with.â
âWell, youâre certainly full of fire.â She yawns. âIâm bored. Call me when youâve gotten off your soap box.â
âI wonât.â
âThere will always be a place here for you.â
âThank you. I know you donât mean to sound like you care for me, but itâs still nice to hear that Iâll always have a job.â
âOn that warm and fuzzy note, Iâll say goodbye, Sunny.â
I hang up and release a shaky breath. My old bossâs words settle on my chest. He didnât want you lifting a finger. Itâs possible she misunderstood Darrelâs intentions. He needed the boysâ rooms completed for his own reasons. That part might have nothing at all to do with me.
What I canât explain is why Darrel got involved in my Stinton Investment troubles. He had no reason to do that and got no benefit from it at all. He wasnât even looking for a thank you. He kept it a secret, and I never would have found out if it hadnât been for Shanya.
My heart thumps faster and faster. Does that mean⦠did he go to all that trouble because he likes me? And maybe the kiss last night wasnât just crossing the thin line between hate and lust? Did it mean something more?
A knock at the door jerks my head up. I blink as another knock shakes the foundations of my building. It sounds like a heavy fist beating a drum.
âDarrel?â I whisper. My feet carry me to the door before I realize that Iâm in an oversized T-shirt, pants with period stains on them, and my hair is a mess.
I canât let him see me like this.
More knocks shudder the door.
âJust a minute!â I yell. Skittering backwards, I race into my room and tear through my closet.
I donât want to keep Darrel waiting too long, but I also canât figure out what to wear. What outfit says âI think I like you too; can you kiss me againâ without being too obvious?
I finally grab a knitted, green body-con dress that looks casual enough for lounge wear but is tight enough that it shows off my best assets.
I tear my ponytail holder out of my hair, cry out like Iâve been scalped when I see all the long, dark strands that escaped with it, and then run a brush through the entire mess until it shines.
Makeup. I tap my fingers against my chin. Do I go all out or⦠No, I donât have time for that. I settle for spritzing perfume on my wrist. Then I pause to dab it behind my ears because I want Darrel smelling something good when he growls in there.
Gloss is the last thing I grab. I scrape it over my mouth and make a mad dash for the front door. Pause, Sunny. Breathe. You donât want to look too eager. I close my eyes and take deep, calming breaths until my chest stops pumping up and down like an inflatable balloon. When Iâm ready, I open the door and fix my lips into a sultry smile.
âHey, I wasnât expecting⦠gah!â I jump back when my eyes collide with a five-foot-two Mayan woman with shiny black hair, a flared nose, and a crooked scowl. âMom? What are you doing here?â
âWhat am I doing here?â She stomps into my room like an ancient chief barging into a temple for the yearly sacrifice. âWhat am I doing here?â Her voice is louder this time. A little more shrill.
âYouâve repeated the question twice, but you still havenât answered,â I point out.
Mom slants me a dark look that all Caribbean mothers know and wield with confidence. I shirk back. Usually, I wouldnât be this mouthy with my mother, but the words escaped because of shock.
And, if Iâm honest, a little disappointment too.
It was supposed to be Darrel. Why is mom showing up without warning?
âI had to see for myself.â
âSee what?â
âIf my daughterâs lost her mind!â Momâs eyes bore into my skull. âHow could you let Gabor walk away?â
âMom, you travelled all this way just to scream at me about Gabor?â I want to roll my eyes, but I also want to live to see my thirties, so I restrain myself.
âNo, no, no.â She waves a tan finger. I step back. When the finger-wagging starts, itâs time to duck because slippers and hands will be flying next.
I keep going until Iâm a safe distance away. âGabor was a great guy.â
âEven more reason to secure your relationship.â
âMom, no one âsecures a relationshipâ after one date.â
âThatâs the problem with you young people. You want to date around and jump from one relationship to another. It wouldnât be like that if you were back in the village. You and Gabor would have already been betrothed before either of you had a say in it.â
âAnd both of us would have been miserable.â
âYou donât know that, Sunita.â Her lips fade into a thin line. Sheâs scowling so hard that all her wrinkles are tightening to form the lines on a treasure map. âYou said yourself that Gabor was a good man.â
âYes, but I donât want to get married to someone just because theyâre a nice guy. Thereâs more to it than that.â
âWhat more? You want a nice Mayan man who knows how to work the land and pass the culture down to your children. That is the ultimate goal.â
âWhat about love, mom?â
âLove?â She bursts out laughing. âDo you think love is feeling giddy around a man? You think itâs when the heart picks up speed and you want to jump into bed with him every time you see him?â
If it is, then Iâm definitely feeling that way with Darrel. Had he walked through the door instead of mom, one of us would have had our clothes off by now.
âNo, Sunita.â Mom breaks into my risqué vision of Darrel whipping his shirt off. I know Iâve got it bad if Iâm thinking inappropriately about Darrel in front of a parent. âLove is staying committed even when the heart cools down, the adrenaline rush flees, and your breasts are saggy. Love is stretch marks over your stomach, enduring hard times together, and building your community in a way that only you can because you both know what it is like to be different.â
âYou know what love isnât, mom? Itâs not forcing myself to marry a man because heâs Mayan or because my mother really wants me to.â
âI have seen the men you pick on your online dating sites, Sunny. It is a joke. You donât have any luck finding the right partner. I am trying to help you.â
âYou are trying to control me. And the problem is, mom, you can push me towards a Mayan man all you want. But at the end of the day, you wonât have to live with him. I will. So shouldnât I have a say?â
Her eyes narrow in annoyance. âGabor was a good man. I spoke to him myself, and I was impressed. Heâs charming, handsome, smart. You both have a lot in common. What is the problem?â
âMaybe heâs too perfect, mom. Ever think of that?â
âToo perfect? Youâre just as perfect as he is. Youâre⦠youâre perfect together.â
âWe wanted different things.â Like⦠I wanted a whole other man and Gabor didnât want the drama.
âThat makes no sense.â
âI donât know how else to explain it.â
âTell me what the real problem was, Sunita.â
I suck in a sharp breath. Gabor didnât tell his parents I brought a non-Mayan man to our date. If he had, mom wouldnât have been so calm during this discussion. And yes, this is mom being calm.
I owe him big time for not ratting me out. Unfortunately, my mom isnât easily fooled. I donât know what to say to get her off the scent.
âMom, Iâ¦â
Thankfully, her phone rings.
She glances at it and a few of her wrinkles smooth out. âItâs your father. He asked me to call him when I arrived, but I was so upset I forgot.â
âYou can talk to him in my room.â I point down the hallway.
She gives me a stink eye. âDonât think about going anywhere. Iâll be right here after I take this call.â
âI wouldnât dream of running away, mom,â I mumble. Sheâd track me down and drag me home to marry a perfect Mayan guy before I could board the plane.
Mom hooks two fingers at her eyebrows, juts them at me, and then picks up dadâs call. âHey, honey. Yes, I got here safely.â
Hopefully, dad can calm my mother down. Heâs always on my side, although heâs quiet about it because he doesnât want mom to get upset.
âYou marry any man you want to, Sunita. Doesnât matter what his color is or where heâs from. Thatâs what I did. I fell in love with a woman from a different culture, and it was the best decision of my life.â
With a weary sigh, I trudge to the door. Itâs been hanging open ever since mom arrived. Great. Now all my neighbors know my business. Thanks mom.
I fling the door shut, but a hand slides into the crack just before it closes.
Itâs Darrel.
His chest pumps up and down in violent movements. His hairâs a mess and sweat is trickling down the side of his face.
âDarrel? What are youâ¦â
âSunny, I have something to tell you.â He places his hand on my shoulder. Iâm not sure if heâs doing that because he needs a physical connection or because his knees might give out any second. âFor so long, Iâve been trying to ignore the way I feel about you. I told myself I hated you, but that wasnât true. I hated that I couldnât stop thinking about you. I hated that I looked for you every time you stepped into a room. I hated that you were still in my heart no matter how hard I tried to get you out.â
âDarrel.â I cast a nervous glance over my shoulder. Mom is still in my room, but she wonât be on the phone with dad forever. As much as I want to squeal over Darrelâs love confession, the fear that mom will discover us is pressing around my skin. âNowâs not theââ
âI know it might not seem like the right time. Youâre right. You are. I havenât been granted custody of the boys yet and Iâm still adjusting to being a guardian. There are some other things I need to work through. Trust me. Iâm aware. But I couldnât go another day without telling you that youâreââ
âAlright, honey,â Mom croons from the hallway. âIâll tell her.â
My panic reaches a boiling point when Darrel steps into my apartment. His green eyes fasten on the hallway and he blinks. âIs someone here?â
âYes. My mom.â I plant my hands on his back and shove him at the door.
âYour mom?â He lights up. âShould I say hi?â
âNo,â I hiss. âYou should definitely not sayââ
âSunita, your father wants me to send his love. He wanted to be here too, but he couldnât take the time off from teaching. You know, teachers donât get the respect they deserve, chained to a classroom for so many days on end. Summer and winter breaks really arenât enough.â
âYouâre right, mom,â I call back. Then I shoot Darrel a frazzled stare. âGo!â I windmill my arms and point to the curtains. âHide!â
Darrel scurries around the couch and ducks behind it just as mom pops out of the hallway. She stops short when she sees me, her mom-antennas twitching as she studies my face. I sweat so hard it feels like thereâs a rain cloud over my head.
Hoping my voice sounds casual and relaxed, I ask, âWhatâs up?â
âWhy is the door open, Sunita? Was someone here?â Her eyebrows pinch.
âSomeone? No. Noo. Who would be here?â Certainly not a burly billionaire who just confessed to not being able to stop thinking about me.
I would be melting and smiling and kissing Darrel right now if mom wasnât here, making me fear for my life every time she so much as flicks her eyes to the couch. Heâs such a giant man that I can see his back. Wasnât his dad in the military? He should be able to hold a better plank than that.
âSunny, what do you keep looking at?â Mom twists her head in the direction of the couch.
âAh! Mom!â I step forward and grab her face.
She jumps as if I mauled her. âWhy are you shouting, Sunita?â
âIâm not shouting. Iâm just,â I choke out a laugh, âso glad to see you. You never visit.â
âI can say the same to you. The train goes in both directions, you know.â
âYouâre right. Youâre always right, mom.â My gaze darts to Darrel again. âHow about you and I go to my favorite brunch place, huh? We can chat over fry jacks.â
âI make better fry jacks than them.â Mom humphs.
Sheâs right, but I canât have her in the apartment right now. âThey have a lot of other Caribbean food on the menu. They have Johnny cakes, Belizean tacos, and meat pies. You know you love meat pies, mom. And itâs hard to find a decent meat pie place here.â I step a little to the side, my fingers digging into her shoulder as I twist her around. âYou can have as much as you want.â
âI already had breakfast.â She brushes my hand off her shoulder.
âThenâ¦. Then,â I yelp. âDessert!â
âWhat?â Her nose scrunches and her eyebrows dip.
âIâm suddenly craving something sweet.â I rub my stomach. âHow about we go get jam rolls from a cafe?â
âSunita, donât think you can distract me with food. I came all the way here for one reason onlyâto set you back up with Gabor.â
Darrel makes a disgruntled sound.
Momâs head whips in his direction.
I slam a fist to my mouth and start coughing like I have a terminal disease. Slinging a hand over my stomach, I shake my head. âSorry, mom. Iâm just not feeling well.â
âSunita,â she speaks in a low, firm voice. âWhat is going on? Why are you behaving so strangely?â
âMom, Iâm fine. I just donât want to talk about arranged marriages anymore.â
Momâs jaw drops as if sheâs personally offended. Her voice is a frustrated shriek, âI am not arranging a marriage. You have all the choice to marry or not. What Iâm doing is arranging a date since you donât seem too interested in taking control of your own love life.â
Darrel pokes his head out from the corner of the chair. His eyes collide with mine how long do I have to be back here?
Get back. I punctuate each silent instruction with a wave of my hand. Then I catch mom watching me and lift my hand to fan my face. âWhoo. Itâs hot in here, isnât it?â
âSunita,â Mom has to rise slightly on her tiptoes to grip my shoulder, so I bend my knees to make it easier on her, âyou are not getting any younger. Soon, you will be thirty and no Mayan man will want you. Women who choose their career over a family tend to regret it. I donât want that for you.â
I sigh heavily. âMom, lots of women do have a career and a family later on in life. When youâre older, youâre more mature and you know more about yourself, about your value, and about how you want to be treated. I want someone whoâ¦â I gesture with my hands, âsupports me but isnât afraid to challenge me. I want someone who chooses me even if Iâm different and loud and a little crazy sometimes. I want someone whoâs taking care of two little boys because they need a home and he made a promise.â
âWhat? Children? No, no, no. You donât want any man who has kids, Sunita. Why would he make kids with another woman and expect you to take care of them? That might be okay for Kenya, but not for you.â
âMom.â
âIâm tired.â Her eyelashes flutter. âTired of your arguments and your excuses. So far, you have not given me one good reason for rejecting Gabor. Now Iâve confirmed that it was your Westernized ideas driving him away. Iâm going to fixâaaah!â
Momâs wail of terror catches me off guard and I nearly jump out of my skin. She digs her fingers into her purse. âSunita,â her voice drops to barely above a whisper, âdonât be alarmed.â Mom edges closer to me. The rough fabric of her skirt itches my skin. âBut I think thereâs someone in the house with us.â
If my heart flogs my ribs any harder, itâs going to crack something. I grab my motherâs hand. âYou must have seen wrong.â
âI did not,â she hisses. Eyes glued to the back of the chair, mom whispers, âSunita, call 9-1-1.â
I hold her back. âMom, thereâs nothingââ
She shakes me off again. âDo it.â
I pull out my phone. Iâm not just panicking right now. Iâm full-out losing my mind.
Mom grabs the measuring stick that I keep tucked behind my china closet in the living room. Gripping the ruler with both hands, she slowly approaches the couch.
Cracking under the pressure, I lurch at her. âMom, wait!â
âBurglar!â Mom screams like a banshee and brings the ruler down so hard on Darrelâs back, the giant man crashes to the floor. âBurglar!â Another wallop. This time, he sprawls out like a crushed cockroach.
âMom, stop!â I jump on her hand to keep her from murdering an innocent man.
She wrestles with me. Damn. This woman is strong for her age. I barely manage to snatch the ruler away from her.
âMom, mom. Heâs not a burglar. Heâs not!â
Darrel groans and slowly pushes up on his hands and knees. Green eyes swim with pain and his lips tremble slightly. He places a hand against his back as if he can still feel the ruler cracking over his skin.
I meet his eyes. I am so sorry.
He blinks rapidly and climbs to his feet, using the back of the couch to prop himself up.
âIf heâs not a burglar, what is he doing in this house?â Mom yells.
âHeâsâ¦â I hesitate.
Her sharp eyes swerve to me. âSunita Quetzal, why do you have a man creeping around your house. Are you insane?â
âHi, Mrs. Quetzal.â Darrel extends his arm. âIâm Darrel Hastings. And Iâmâ¦â His gaze glides to me. âIn love with your daughter.â
Momâs jaw drops.
Then she makes a grab for the ruler as if she wants to beat Darrel again.
âMom! Mom!â I wrap my arms around her. âItâs not his time to die yet.â
âOnly God knows when weâre supposed to go. And He told me, today was this punkâs day!â
Darrel flinches, but he stands his ground. Impressive. That courage deserves a kiss. If he makes it past this day, of course. Iâm not kissing a corpse.
âSunita.â Mom stops fighting. I let her go, still keeping an eye on her. Shoulders hunched, she flares her nose like a bull and glares at me. âExplain.â
âMom, Darrel is Alistairâs brother-in-law. Remember Alistair? Kenyaâs fiancé?â
âYes, I know him.â
âHeâs⦠weâre⦠this isâ¦â I slant Darrel a panicked look.
âI donât care what this is.â Mom points at Darrel. âTell me. Is he the man you were going on about? The one who challenges you?â Her eyes widen. âThe one who has two kids?â
âTheyâre⦠um.. yes.â I cringe.
Mom slaps a hand to her forehead and moans. âAy-ya.â
âTheyâre really special boys, mom. Their names are Bailey and Micheal. You wouldnât believe how intelligent they are. Iââ
âEnough.â Mom lifts a hand.
I exchange another look with Darrel.
He steps forward. âMrs. Quetzal, Iâve known Sunny for a long time and I can assure you that the feelings I have for her are the kind that donât go away. Iâll treat your daughter preciously and Iâll love her for the rest of my life. Thatâs a promise.â
Mom scoffs and glances away. âYou think a promise means anything?â
âI know weâve just met, maâam. But once I make a promise, I keep it no matter what.â
âMy daughter is not getting involved with a man who has two kids. She has her whole life ahead of her. But you? You see her dark skin and her Mayan eyes and her Mayan nose and you think she is someone you can push around. Someone you can turn into your prostitute and your babysitter.â
Darrel shakes his head. âMaâam, I donât think thereâs a living soul who can push Sunny around.â
Mom makes another annoyed grunt.
âSheâs more precious to me than you could imagine.â Darrel glances at me, his eyes soft. âSheâs the most beautiful woman Iâve ever met.â He returns his attention to mom. âI donât really know your culture, but I respect it. I respect Sunny. Sheâs⦠the boys and I, we donât just want her. We need her.â His voice gets rough. âSheâs family.â
I send heart eyes in Darrelâs direction.
Mom goes deathly silent. âIâve seen enough.â
âWait. Mom, where are you going?â I follow her as she marches to the door.
âIâm going to pretend this conversation never happened.â She gestures between me and Darrel.
âIgnoring it isnât going to change the facts, mom.â
âFine. Do it your way. Date this man all you want.â Her eyes darken. âBut when it is time to marry, you must marry a Mayan man.â