The wind was strong on the river bank, chilling Purple Summers to the bone. She felt cold inside too, as if a gaping hole had been torn open in her heart, allowing an icy current to pour directly into it and freeze it solid.
It took her nearly half an hour of walking along the embankment before she managed to hail a taxi.
When she got home, Atra Blanc had already prepared dinner.
âWhy do you look so pale?â Atra asked as she arranged the tableware, looking up to see her daughterâs pallid face. She immediately went over and took Purpleâs hands into her own. âYour hands are so cold.â
âThe spring flowers are blooming, I went for a walk outside with Alexander,â Purple explained offhandedly.
âYou two are too careless. The cold snap hasnât passed yet. At this time of the year, itâs easiest to catch a cold!â Atra frowned and sighed before hurriedly heading for the kitchen. âIâm going to make you some ginger soup.â
âOkay,â Purple agreed, smiling sweetly. She didnât want to worry Atra.
Atra quickly made the ginger soup and brought it to Purple to drink while it was hot, to chase away the chill.
The ginger soup was richly flavored, with added jujubes, leaving a strong, spicy tang and a sweet taste of dates as it flowed over her tongue.
Sipping slowly, Purple couldnât help but think of the ginger soup Alexander had once made for her.
It was sweetâ¦
It was warm.
The icy feeling in her heart from standing on the river bank seemed to slowly thaw.
She told herself there was no need to feel guiltyâafter all, it was Nathaniel who had been unfaithful first. Their marriage was in name only, so even if she fell in love with someone else, it wasnât immoral.
Besidesâ¦
Besides, Alexander had given so much more.
To repay Alexander, she was willing to be immoral just this once.
Purple was clear-headed about her rebirth. It was as if she had been given a second chance at life, which she intended to cherish. She shouldnât enchain herself to a relationship that belonged to the past.
Realizing this, Purple felt her mood improve slightly.
There was still sorrow, but it no longer felt as oppressive.
â¦
Alexander did not return that night.
When she woke up in the morning and saw the empty space beside her in bed, Purple was momentarily stunned.
There was a time when she slept fitfully each night, locking windows and doors, fearing that man would burst in in the middle of the night.
Yet, at some point, she had grown accustomed to his presence, to nestling against his chest, and she found that his absence now left her feeling a vague sense of loss.
It was as if she was a wife waiting at home, sleepless and alone.
Even during her marriage to Nathaniel, she had never felt this way.
Back then, it was just a matter of reaching the right age. Her grandmotherâs health was failing, and her only wish was to see her granddaughter married and with childrenâan anchor in the journey of life.
She didnât dislike Nathaniel; they got along well and were comfortable with each other, which naturally led to discussions about marriage.
It all happened effortlessly.
Life after marriage was bland but cozyâwithout suspense, without waves, and without passion. Isnât that just how life is? With daily routines and household chores, some people make their lives sweeter as the years go by, while others find it becomes more tasteless.
She believed she was one of the latterâ¦
Indeed⦠was it because she didnât love him?
Because she didnât love him, she wasnât willing to put in the effort to maintain and nurture their marriage, allowing it to crumble without even realizing it.
In fact, Nathaniel was rightâshe was the most heartless one.
It was precisely because of her heartlessness that she felt anger and irritation, but never heartbreak, upon discovering Nathanielâs affair with Jade Carlson.
Some dark part of Purpleâs heart thought: Maybe this is betterâit certainly lessens my guilt.
â¦Is that a little despicable of me?
Purple got out of bed and went through her morning routine, her mind filled with a clutter of thoughts.
She picked up her bag, ready to go to school, only to find Nathaniel leaning against the wall of the small Western-style house, surrounded by a scattering of cigarette butts. It looked like he had been waiting for a long time.
âIâll take you to school,â Nathanielâs voice was hoarse, his eyes rimmed with dark circlesâhe hadnât slept all night.