WHEN I ARRIVED at the optional warm-up this morning, I was glad for once to be in the studio so early in the morning. On any other day, I'd rather choose to stay in the comforts of my bed than getting up in the morning to go to an optional warm-up session, continuously hitting the snooze button until the morning sun penetrated through my eyelids.
But today was different. These past few months were different. So many things had occurred in such a short time span, and my mind was already becoming wary, my head flooding with thoughts that mentally exhausted me before my day even started.
Recently it'd been getting pretty bad though. It became harder to focus in classes and concentrate on things in general.
But dance was one of the few things that cleared my head. It helped me escape and forget about what was going on in my life for a bit, giving me a short mental break.
Not only did it help my mental health, but it also helped my body physically. A few weeks ago, I skipped a few optional warm-ups and paid for it. By midday, my muscles were fatigued and continued to stay that way for the days following. It was absolute hell.
After dance, feeling tranquil and more energetic, I sauntered to the art building. Sitting in my usual seat, I resumed from where I left off previously, finishing up a few minor details that accentuated the completed painting.
Perched high up in a tree, a girl sat on a thick tree branch, both the girl and tree painted as black silhouettes. Variously colored butterflies surrounded her as she watched the sunset in the distance, a round, yellow flame that radiated red-orange light as it dipped behind the ocean's serene undulated surface. The sky was a variegated mix of pink, orange, and purple streaks, blending together beautifully.
Un Nouveau Départ is what I called it. Meaning a new start, the whole painting itself was a giant piece of symbolism about my life in a way. As new experiences and opportunities emerged around me, I thought about how my past didn't stifle my future choices but pushed me in the right direction.
While continuing to paint in more details, a swift movement caught my attention from the corner of my eye. Filling the seat next to mine a foot or two away, Milo greeted me with a smile, already looking at me as I glanced his way.
"You're here early," he remarked, a hint of amusement laced in his voice. I peered around the room and realized there were still many seats left unoccupied. There were a few people I knew who finished all of their projects though and didn't feel the need to come in until later on, having an hour or two of extra free time. I still had one last painting to finish and then I would be done and also have more time on my hands for other things.
"Hm, I guess so," was all I responded with as I swiveled back to face my canvas. After our short exchange, Milo and I kept quiet except for a short moment when he asked to borrow a color I was using. I continued my efforts to see what his painting was, but as usual, he refused to show me until it was completed.
After a few small strokes, I leaned back and examined my handy work, deciding that the painting was complete. I turned to Milo and asked, "Are you almost done?"
"Yeah, I finished like thirty minutes ago," He shrugged nonchalantly, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"What?" I breathed humorously. "Then why've you been sitting here all this time?"
He paused for a moment before speaking, "I was waiting until you finished so I could ask you if you wanted to go and grab some coffee."
I chuckled with amusement, trying to ignore how my heart picked up pace just a bit. "What makes you think that I'm almost done?"
"Well, you barely have any colors on your palette when usually there's so much paint on there that you always run out of space and have to wipe some of the colors off with a paper towel," he said confidently with a grin.
Amusement played across my face again, eyebrows raised. "So does that mean I can see your finished masterpiece?" I mused.
"Fine," He chuckled softly, giving in to my relentless pleas. "But only if I get to see yours too."
I nodded. Shifting his easel in my direction, I was astonished yet perplexed when I saw it. With much more details intertwined, small trees that littered the background with a cerulean sky contrasted with a field of white lilies. The one thing that especially caught my eye though was the centerpiece of it all: a girl holding a red chrysanthemum. She didn't have any facial features but had wavy dark brown hair, which I noticed was similar to mine.
"Who's that?" I pointed to the girl in the middle, meeting Milo's gaze.
He shrugged, "I don't know. The picture kind of just popped up in my head."
My cheeks slightly flushed at the thought that maybe it could've been me he painted. It was weird that the possibility formed in my head, but the way how the hair resembled mine made me believe in my theory a little more. If what I thought was true, I think my heart would've exploded, especially because this project was about painting something from our lives that was meaningful to us.
I observed it for a few seconds more, admiring all the minuscule details that made the painting all the more captivating. Ignoring my expression, he moved back to the previous subject, capturing my attention, "So, you up for coffee?"
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AS I NURSED a small latte, Milo and I conversed about various topics from our classes to what other places we wanted to travel to next that was on our bucket list. Although our conversation was pleasant, I was dying to address the elephant in the room.
"I hate to bring this up, but...Nicole told me what happened. And I know it's not exactly my business, but I just wanted to see how you're doing sinceâ"
"No, I...I get it," Milo cut me off calmly, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"Well...if there's anything else you want to say, my offer still stands. I'm all ears," I offered, resting my hand on top of his that was resting on the table top.
"Honestly, I thought I'd feel like shit, but I...don't. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet but I don't necessarily feel all of the emotions one should after a breakup. I mean, yeah I feel a bit sad about what happened, but I don't think it hit me as hard as it probably has for her."
Shock definitely was a defining feature I was wearing at the moment. That was not at all what I expected to hear. For being in a relationship for a year and a half, I thought he'd say as little as possible.
"Is that bad?" He asked when he noticed my expression.
"No, at least not to me. You're allowed to feel however you feel right now, whether that's a mix of emotions or only a few."
He exhaled deeply, the gears visibly turning in his head.
"It's starting to feel a bit stuffy in here. Why don't we go to that hiking trail you showed me before?" I suggested with a smile, changing the subject.
"Sure, I'd like that," He replied with a genuine smile.
We left Bella's and walked back to campus where Milo's car was, arriving at the trail twenty minutes later. Being there in a better mood than last time made the experience all the better, being able to have amusing conversations while strolling to that same spot where we nearly kissed.
For once I was able to take in the refreshing scenery surrounding us while having Milo close to me, being able to cope with how my body reacted to him. And for once our roles were reversed, Milo staring at me a few times here and there with a small grin on his face while I pretended to be oblivious as I mirrored his expression and closed my eyes, feeling the crisp breeze brush against my skin, cooling down my warm cheeks.
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A/N: What do you think the things in Milo's painting symbolized? Tell me what you think. All will be revealed soon. But nonetheless, thank you always for reading and continuing to come back! â¡
-Karlee ð