As predicted, the group comes back the next morning, declaring that my old pack agreed to the terms and then after that, faster than anyone could have guessed, we're welcoming wolves from our old pack onto our lands. Our own scouts should be arriving right about now as well.
There's an icy silence when the seven scouts arrive at our pack house. I'm mainly putting it down to Randy, who stands at the front, arms crossed over his chest, feet wide and generally looking to be in an even pricklier mood than usual. He has a stare down with the newcomers and I'm willing to bet he would be perfectly fine doing that all day, or however long it takes for them to cower in defeat. Fortunately for us, it only takes a couple of minutes until all of them glance away and I secretly grin to myself; there's no point in even trying.
'Okay, okay. Welcome to our pack!' this is Marc, wearing a pleasant smile and patting his mate on the lower back, probably telling him to lay off the new folks until they at least introduce themselves. It doesn't do much. Randy just huffs, but turns around and marches off towards the pack house. On the way, he picks up Elif, who was standing by watching, uncharacteristically silent.
The wolves nod at the Alpha's greeting and proceed to introduce themselves. While I remember seeing them around, I don't actually know any of their names. I never was very close with that pack in the first place. I forget their names the moment they say them, but I can tell they're not stupid. Our old Alpha chose them for a reason. I can see them watching their new environment, assessing it in their heads and I make a mental note to keep an eye on them. Although, judging from Randy watching from a window on the second floor and his daughter imitating his scowl, I probably won't actually have to worry that much.
I know them. Raph's voice drifted into my head and as I do often when I'm not prepared for it, I jump slightly.
They never liked me. Some of them are good friends with Sheila as well. And I think a couple of them were part of the group that chased us down when we left.
I stiffen. It's not that I'm surprised really. It's not a bad idea to send wolves that don't like us to begin with, but it's still not exactly reassuring.
Once the Alpha takes them inside to show them to their rooms, I grab Raph's arm and drag him towards the woods and our home. He lets me pull him along until we're a good way into the safety of the trees.
'You okay?' I ask, holding his face in my hands and staring into his eyes to make sure he's with me.
'Yeah, it's just.. strange. I know I'm safe, but it's hard to not feel anxious with them here...' by the way he lets the end of the sentence just hang in the air, I can tell there's more.
'Tell me what's really bothering you?' I ask in a softer tone.
He doesn't really answer, but one of his hands moves to his belly and that's when it clicks.
'You think they'd go after the baby.' It's a statement, not a question. I hug him.
'Don't even worry about that. As if anyone will let anything happen to her. We'll make sure she's safe, I promise.'
'But I can't protect her like this!' he raises his voice and pushes away from me. He paces a few seconds and then suddenly start screaming.
'I can't protect anything like this! I won't even be able to protect you if something happens! I'm vulnerable because if anything happens to me, she'll have to pay the price! I don't want to just sit around, but I can't do anything, I'm useless like this!'
He's angry and frustrated and I honestly don't know what to say. I remember meeting him for the first time, the impression he made on me. He looked strong, capable and his eyes held a wild conviction that even back then I couldn't help but admire. His whole body, his posture, they all screamed power and dominance and I now understand what it means to him to protect what's important to him. In that regard, we're both very similar and I couldn't imagine what it must feel like to have the ability to help, but be hindered by that same love you want to protect.
I don't try to calm him down while he paces, but instead I sit down and wait. His breathing is heavy and I can see the frustration grow on his face. And as it does, he eventually starts hitting things, trees mainly and it's only when he goes to throw an angry punch at a boulder that I step in. I stop his fist with my hand, but don't touch him otherwise. I can feel the blood on his torn knuckles on my hand and the rawness of his flesh and I want to flinch and I want to fix it, but I don't. I just look at him, hoping he might just stop. He doesn't. He grits at me and tries to dominate me with his eyes. It's incredibly difficult to hold his gaze now, my instinct telling me to just submit, but I don't.
'I won't let you hurt yourself. If you need to let off steam, do it on me in any way you see fit, but don't go breaking your own bones just because you've grown tired of punching trees.'
In any other situation I would have laughed at my own words, but right now, Raph is unstable and I need to keep him in check somehow.
'Let go' his voice is oddly calm, but there is a dangerous undertone there I can't place.
'No.' He must have heard the slight quiver in my voice, as he only repeats himself. And this time I do let go, but I don't move. He holds his fist up for a while, even pulling it back as if to smash it into my face, but he eventually turns away, looking for another victim. I don't let him. I jump him while his back is turned, making us both fall to the ground. I wrestle his hands behind his back, hoping to restrain him long enough for him to tire himself out. He struggles and it takes all I have to just hold him down, but eventually he stills. And it's not until I check to see why he's stopped moving that I see the tears making a path over his dusty cheeks. Immediately I let him go. He curls up on himself and starts sobbing and with each pained sob escaping his lips, my heart shatters a bit more in my chest.
It's all I can do to curl up around him and try to give him comfort.
'You are protecting her. Every day that you're alive you're protecting her. And every day that you protect her you're protecting me.' I whisper in his ear. I'm not sure he even hears my words.
Two weeks later life with our seven new additions has normalised a bit. It's still strange to have an extra person on patrol, an unfamiliar face at training and a nosy visitor with anything else you're doing. But it's manageable. I remind myself regularly that this is necessary to get my mum and Sam here and it helps to not completely lose my mind.
Raph and I moved into the pack house a few days ago on request of the Alpha. He said he wanted all of the pack close by while our visitors are here, both to protect everyone and to have more eyes on them. It wasn't so much a suggestions as it was a nicely worded order and so we had no choice but to move. It is weird, living in an actual room again, with actual furniture that went beyond just a bed and a few other things here and there. It's also weird to suddenly not have privacy anymore. The walls aren't exactly thick, nor do we have forest surrounding us and so adjustment was hard. Still is.
Moving in made us realise how many people needed something from us and just couldn't be bothered to come find us at home. Now that we're close by, we spend more time opening our door to answer questions or have a chat than we do anything else. And usually when we do have a quiet few minutes, Elif will show up sooner or later to keep us company. While it is annoying, it's not exactly bad, it's just hard to get used to.
It's much easier to get information off Marc though. Because we're always close by, he tends to invite us along for his meetings with the scouts for new information. We already have most of the information we need, it's just a matter of figuring out the best timing.
He's not made any promises, but I can tell Marc is planning on getting them out soon.
By week four of the new scouting arrangements, Raph is showing. A lot. He couldn't hide it if the tried. He struggles with walking, complains a lot and has mood swings all over the place. But his morning sickness wasn't bad at all and isn't even an issue anymore.
The worst, however, are his shifting days. I call them that because he'll have times when he'd shift all over the place every few minutes. Those times, we'd usually hole ourselves up in our new living quarters and watch shitty TV. Or 90's romcoms, which he seems to be obsessed with. Luckily, the Alpha gave me free reign to stay at home whenever necessary until the baby is born and I take full advantage of that. My mate is absolutely delicious pregnant.
Sometimes, he stays in wolf form for days and I can tell it's grinding on his nerves.
On his good days though, he is even more of a handful. He still insists on joining training, even though he can barely waddle out there sometimes and he even refuses to train with me because apparently I take it easy on him. Well, yes. He originally wanted to train with Randy and I was actually concerned for a moment that he would get his way, but Randy blatantly told him to die (after the kid was born) and left. Something about stupid pregnant people.
We're sitting by a lake further out in the territory. It's usually quite popular with the pups, but it's just slightly too cold lately for them in the water, so it's just me and Raph. I've got my head on his chest, listening to his and the pup's heartbeat, while he just lies on the grass, his eyes closed and quietly humming.
We rarely get days like this anymore. He's usually too stressed to just relax like this and so I'm taking in every moment with him.
It's when I hear a twig snap that my head shoots up. My hands are on either side of my mate, covering him with my body as much as I can while I try to find the source of the sound. My eyes focus on a figure hidden by the shadow of the trees, but before I can figure out who it is, they run off in the opposite direction, abandoning their 'stealth' tactic in favour of getting away. Smart choice.
'What was that?' I hear Raph below me. He heard the noise, but wasn't fast enough to actually see what was going on.
'Someone was watching us. Let's get back.' I stand up and help Raph up as well and then we make our way back to the pack house. Raph is riding on my back and I race back as fast as I can. Something isn't right and I don't trust those wolves from our old pack. Time to ask the Alpha when that plan of his is going to be set in motion.