I take my time to get back home. It's a bit of a hit and miss as I try to find my way back. I remember quite well what I passed on my way here, but that doesn't mean it's easy to find the way.
Once I'm in familiar environment, I speed up, suddenly feeling uneasy about just disappearing like that. I was left without any concept of time as I went away, so now I don't even know how long I've been gone.
I race through the woods right outside the town, it's a bit of a risk still, even though I'm in the woods, but I don't care. Suddenly, the feeling of wanting to go as far away as possible turns into the urge to just be at home.
I run and finally sprint all the way home and when I arrive in my backyard, I get tackled before I can even shift back.
It barely does more than push me a few steps back, but the tight hold his arms have on my neck make guilt rise up in my throat none the less. I can hear his breathing, irregular and heavy and I realise there's a real chance he's holding back tears. I growl sadly, and push my head into his shoulder and neck as best as I can in my wolf form. His hands are slightly shaking as he smooths them over my fur, probably more to calm himself down than me.
When he doesn't let go, even after just sitting on his knees and holding me for a good ten minutes, I lick his cheek and whine a bit. Not that I don't enjoy his closeness, his readiness to just do it scares me. It's not like him at all to show his affections so publicly, anyone could walk by.
When he still doesn't move, I change back into my human form and hug him back. He doesn't really react at all, simply adjusts his hold on me to now drive his fingernails into my back.
'Why did you leave?' he finally asks, his voice so low I almost missed it.
'I just needed a run, let off some steam. What's wrong?' I ask when he starts visibly relaxing.
'You were gone for almost two days. There was no way for me to find you and your mum insisted on me staying here to wait, rather than try to find you.' he explains softly, while still not letting go.
'I was worried.' he adds then.
I breath out a sigh as I just hold on to him tightly, trying to forget the pain his nails cause my back and to just reassure him.
But soon, what bothers me the most is the fact that I'm completely naked and we're outside. While I'm used to nudity out of necessity, it doesn't mean I enjoy showing my naked self to my neighbours while hugging my boyfriend.
'Let's take this inside.' I say and slowly lead him back to the house. He complies and just grasps my hand as we walk. When I look over I see that he hasn't actually cried, but he does look bad. Dark rings under his eyes and pale skin; he clearly hasn't slept a wink since I left, but then again, neither have I.
When we reach the house, my mum's there to give me a quick hug and then hand me bathrobe I can slip into.
'Are you feeling better?' she asks with a smile and I simply nod, letting her know that i'm fine. She knows me quite well, since I have a lot of the same habits as her. One of them is the running. Sometimes, especially when I was younger, she would just disappear, rarely, but sometimes for days even. I've taken the habit on and it doesn't feel strange to me at all. I should have at least let Raph know though. He wouldn't know me well enough yet to know that about me, I was careless.
I lead him to the living room, where two giant mugs of hot chocolate are waiting for us, gentle steaming as they sit there on the coffee table.
I look at mum over my shoulder just as she goes to walk upstairs.
'Thanks.' I mouth and only get a smile as an answer.
Raph and I cuddle on the sofa without much being said between us. He plays with my fingers, looking at them intently as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. My head is lying on his shoulder, while I draped both my legs over his, so I'm almost sitting in his lap, but not quite.
I hum silently as I just enjoy his warmth and the fact that I can be so close to my mate.
One of his hands finds its way to my hair, where it absentmindedly lets its fingers tangle and detangle it. It's quite a calming feeling and I almost fall asleep from it too.
'It was scary, you know. Mary called me and she was all panicked because you just leaped out of the window. Rationally I knew you were coming back, but then I wondered what to do if you didn't. What if you just didn't come back. That was scary.' he suddenly starts explaining softly.
I close my eyes for a split second before lifting my head slightly and leaving a chaste kiss on his jaw.
'I have nothing to disappear from.' I say, hoping he understands.
'I've thought about it.' is the next thing he says, a good 20 minutes later, 'about telling people.'
I hold my breath as I wait for him to continue.
'I realised that us being together doesn't matter if we can't cherish every moment. So let's tell them.' he says. There's a certain calmness in his voice that reassures me that he actually thought this through. He means it and that, in turn, means the world to me.
I lean up to kiss him properly and when my lips touch his, I feel as though even the thought of running away is completely unrealistic.
The kiss stays calm and loving and I feel as if this is where I belong.
I spare myself the question of whether he was sure or not and simply ask him when he thinks would be a good time.
'I feel like I wanna tell my family first, but other than that there's no one worth explaining I don't think. We'll just be together.'
A small smile graces his lips as he looks down at me and I can see real happiness shining in his eyes. It sounds so good and tempting coming from him and the picture of us walking to uni, through the uni's halls and later in the day on a date, all hand in hand, makes me urge for exactly that.
'That sounds like a plan.'
'Let's go then.' he says suddenly, standing up and taking me with him as he does so.
'Where are we going all of a sudden?' I ask, my brows furrowed and slightly unsteady.
'To tell them of course.' he laughs.
'It's the middle of the night?' I say while motioning to the back door, which only shows deep darkness from outside.
'It doesn't matter. I want this off my chest now, before I change my mind.'
I don't dare tell him that I can tell there's no way he'll even think about changing his mind. I can tell from he way he looks at me, he wants to get it out now as well.
I sigh as I give in.
'Let me put on some clothes.'
I make my way to my room quickly, before changing into some comfortable jeans and a plain shirt. Grabbing my phone and keys I go back to a waiting Raph in the corridor.
'Where do you think you two are going in the middle of the night?' My mum interrupts from across the room as we're just about to leave.
'The pack house. We've got a few things to straighten out.' I explain and I'm not one bit surprised when I see a smile bloom on her face instantly. She's already dressed anyway. Of course she knew.
'I'm coming with then. Need to defend my babies, right?' With that, she proudly walks past as and out the house, unlocking her car only to call out for us to get a move on.
Raph chuckles while pulling me to the car.
The drive is rather quiet, as we don't hold any conversation and the radio softly plays classical movement in the background. I spend the time drawing little patterns on Raph's knee, while he just sits close to me with his eyes closed, relishing in the moment.
Mum parks the car in a few minutes away from he pack house. She probably realised how nervous I am after all. At least like this, I can calm down while walking the last bit.
We all start the short walk to the house, when mum suddenly speaks up.
'I'm proud of you boys. You need to know that whatever happens, I'm proud of you. This is the right thing to do and you're not in the wrong, no matter what anyone says. I'm with you all the way.'
The smile she sends us is a sad one and I don't want to think about what this means. As she said, no matter what anyone says or what will happen, this is right for us.
Shortly before we get there, I stop Raph by gently pulling his hand. When mum looks back, she only does so for a second before smiling and turning back around, slowly resuming to walk towards our destination.
'I love you.' I whisper to Raph as I rest my forehead against his. My eyes are firmly trained on his, wanting him to hear and understand what I say completely.
'I love you.' he says back, with the same determination in his eyes.
After a few more seconds, we both rush to catch up to mum.
Once we get to the pack house, I immediately know something is wrong. Raph and mum tense next to me, so I know they can feel it too.
In matter of not even a minute, the whole pack stands in front of us, the alpha and his family right in front, Sheila with a tight grip on Sam.
I swallow empty as I realise what the intense hatred aimed towards us meant.
They've found out before we had the chance to tell them.