Chapter 98: One Hundred

Elora’s POV I hadn’t seen Silas since I gave birth, he had been avoiding me like the plague. Even to see his son, Matitus has always brought our baby to him then brought him back. He hasn’t been sleeping in the room, only in the cold room downstairs. Even when he and Dragus brought the cot in, he only came in while I was in the shower and left before I got out. It had been a week and I hadn’t laid eyes on him.

Getting ready for bed Dragus and Matitus passed out straight away, they had been doing all the night feeds using expressed milk. So tonight I decided I would do them, to let them get some sleep, not that I got much even when they were doing the feeds, I couldn’t sleep knowing he was awake, couldn’t stay asleep when I could hear him crying. Then the worst part was getting up panicked just to check he was still breathing, paranoia keeping me awake constantly making me check his breathing, even if it was just to get up and place a hand on his chest to make sure I could feel it rise and fall, or sometimes waiting to feel his breaths on my finger.

I was exhausted, mentally physically, who ever said this was easy was lying. I don’t know how woman have more then one, one was enough for me and I had two fathers to help. Two others to share the load and an absentee one who had me constantly on guard as to why he was hiding from me. Sleep oh how I took that shit for granted, now I wish I slept my entire pregnancy away because this small little bundle made sure we never got any.

We still hadn’t picked name, so for now he was baby, I had an idea of what I want to call him but not sure if they will like it. Baby had been asleep for an hour when I finally climbed in next to Dragus on the side next to the cradle. I maybe got an hour before he woke. I sluggishly roll out of bed, my eyes feeling like sandpaper as I stumbled over grabbing him from the cot rocking him in my arms. He couldn’t be hungry surely; he only ate two hours. I change his bum before wrapping him in his swaddle and rocking him. He settles for a minute, the moment I try and put him down he wakes. Dragus tapping Matitus chest making me look at him.

“Your turn” he says before Matitus also pats the bed beside him. “Get up” He mumbles patting the imaginary person beside him. I shake my head deciding to go the study to let them sleep. Holding onto the railing as I walk struggling to see the steps in the dark. When I get to the corridor, I see the fireplace is burning still in there. I make way to the study, and see the fire blazing like someone had just put more wood in. Sitting on the floor and leaning against the armchair in front of the fireplace, I let my frozen feet warm, while tucking the blanket around him tighter and attempting to breastfeed. My engorged boobs were nearly bigger than his tiny head, swollen and sore. He was terrible at latching or maybe I was terrible at getting him to latch. His cries ringing out but at least down here they won’t hear him, they will finally get some sleep.

Yawning, I try get him to calm down enough to try and breastfeed. Nothing I did worked. He just wouldn’t stop crying, no matter how much I tried to get him to latch even swapping boobs, changing angles nothing worked and he continued to cry. I tried burping him, I was at a loss, I was so in over my head and feeling everything become to much. Bringing me to tears, as I looked down at the tiny human I was not as prepared for as I thought I was cry in my arms. Knowing that I was responsible for keeping him alive and I couldn’t even feed him. The one thing mothers are expected to do is produce milk to feed their hungry babies and even the most basic, the most maternal thing to do I was failing miserably at. So instead, I cried with him in frustration not at him but my failure to be able to do anything to stop his cries. Rocking him back and forth in my arms when I hear Silas behind me.

“You okay?” He asks making my head snap to him and realising he was in the room, though he looked like he just got out of bed.

“He won’t latch, he won’t stop crying” I say making me cry harder as I speak the words.

Silas flops down next to me on the mat also leaning back on the armchair. He holds his arms out wanting to take him. “Your boobs are useless” I tell him.

“Well let me try then” He says kneeling in front of me while I stare at him in shock, do Male dragons produce milk? I hear him chuckle.

“No we don’t produce milk” He says shaking his head. Yeah that was pretty dumb thought in my sleep deprived state, I surely would have noticed if they had squirting jugs suddenly. He reaches down watching me when he grabs my breast, running my tender sore nipple across the baby’s lips. Baby opening his mouth searching for milk his mouth opening wide as he turns his face. Before latching on.

“See I’m not completely useless” He says while I stared amazed at a man doing the one thing I should naturally be able to do.

“You can always formula feed” Silas says.

“I’m meant to be able to do this though” I tell him yawning.

“Just because everyone else says so, doesn’t mean its right for you. As long as his fed it doesn’t matter if its formula or breast” He says.

“How?” I ask and his brows furrow before he stands up walking to his desk and coming back in his hand a book. A lactating book.

“Were you hoping to breast feed?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

“No, but Dragus was reading it, said you were having trouble getting him to latch” I nod. Maybe I should read that book, I think with a yawn.

“You can go to sleep if you want” He says.

“Umm kind of can’t, I will drop him” I tell him.

“Scoot forward” He says, and I shuffle forward while using one arm to hold the baby. Silas moves behind me and I feel his arms go under mine.

“You can lean on me, I will hold him while he feeds and I can wake you when he finishes” He says.

“I can see him Elora I won’t let him smother in boob” He says reading my thoughts before I even had chance to fully conjure it. I lean against him but don’t fall asleep, just enjoying his warmth and his closeness.

“I won’t take him from you love, just sleep”

“Promise” I ask, when I feel his hand move from under mine that was holding his bum.

“Open your hand” He says, and I tuck my legs up letting them support bubs bum. I hold my hand out wondering what he is doing but also too tired to conjure up a logical reason.

“Turn it palm up” He says, and I do what he says when I watch his claws slip out. I pull my hand back wondering what he is doing.

“Just trust me please” I turn my hand over, he runs his claw down my palm slicing it making me hiss in pain. I watch as he uses his other hand to slice his own before he grabs my hand holding it in his bleeding one.

“I Silas Draquin promise to never take our son from you, I promise to never hurt you and I promise to be yours for the rest of my life” He whispers making me shift to look at him. Our hands warming as our blood mixes sealing the promise he just made.

“Now if I try, I will only cause myself pain and not you” He whispers brushing his nose against mine.

“But I didn’t feel pain when I left” I tell him.

“Yes but you’re not Dragon, it would have affected you if stayed gone, but for Dragon’s its different” He says holding out his arm. I can see faint scarring I had never noticed before like tentacles wrapping up his arm barely visible but there.

“That’s from me?” I ask and he nods before kissing the side of my face. Silas bites his hand offering it to me.

“You’re still bleeding, and I like this rug” He says making me look at my hand which was still bleeding and dripping on the rug and my leg. I press my lips to his hand letting his blood flow into my mouth before opening my hand to see it healed. I wipe the remaining blood on my pant leg getting rid of it.

“Thank you” I tell him turning in his arms to sit sideways draping my legs over one of his, our baby neatly tucked in my arms while he suckles.

“Have you thought of any names yet”

“Yes one”

“You going to tell me or we going to call him baby for the rest of his life” He says with a chuckle.

“You can wait, like Matitus and Dragus. Abbie is getting the forms tomorrow” I tell him.

“You are aware I have to sign said forms to register him”

“You register the births?” I ask confused.

“Yep, always have to keep track of how many people live here, though now I found out there were a lot of hidden people like the Fae living here not registering births” he says with a chuckle.

“Well, you can wait till tomorrow” I tell him, and he nods. He kisses my forehead before gripping my chin hesitating to see if I would pull away when I don’t, he presses his lips to mine soft but firm when I run my tongue along his lips wanting access, his lips parting as I deepen the kiss, kissing him back when I feel something wet touch my face making me pull back.

“Are you crying?” I ask and he shakes his head looking down, but I know he was, the evidence dripped on my face.

“Liar” I tell him as he looks down.

“He is asleep” Silas says tugging my nipple from his mouth, it lips making a pop sound. I tuck my boob away before offering him to Silas. Silas pecks my lips before taking him, placing him on his chest and rubbing his back. I go to get up when he tugs my shoulder.

“Stay there is plenty of room” He says tapping his chest. I put my head on his chest, his arm wrapping around me as he rubs baby’s back, and I close my eyes letting sleep take me.

Author Note Let me know your thoughts, also hit my 20 days upload for the month, so can post more then one chapter now so will post more tonight.