Cheyenne felt trapped. It was midmorning and both courts were crowded. She found a side lift and went up a couple of floors. She wandered semi deserted passages in what appeared to be a residential area. She fumed about her lack of purpose, her helplessness and her anger at Lana. She wasn't even really mad at her, it was the whole having to depend on someone. She had learned early in her home life never to depend on others.
"System message," a voice said.
Already? Can't the woman give me two minutes peace? Cheyenne fumed. But it wasn't Lana.
"Jack Sheridan, Shoshone Station."
Cheyenne took a deep breath, fighting down her emotions. "Courtesy," she said. It was a code she discovered, to let the caller know you needed a couple minutes to make yourself presentable. "I'm here."
"Am I interrupting?" Jack asked as he appeared. He was sitting at his desk, which was now projected across the hallway, making a ludicrous scene.
"No," Cheyenne said. "I was just out for a walk. Is there news?"
"Yeah, good news," Jack said. "First hearing on the custody case was today, as you know."
Cheyenne nodded.
"He didn't show."
Cheyenne snorted. "Probably on a bender. I should be angry, but all I can feel for him now is pity. He's just lost, an aimless drifter." So am I.
Jack nodded. "His lawyer tried to ask for an extension. Judge said no dice, if he wants to have another hearing, he'll have to refile. Given the scandal, I doubt Abernathy will want to be his lawyer for another round. That puts him back to square one."
Cheyenne nodded.
"You look troubled," Jack commented.
"Just having trouble adjusting, I guess," she said, evading.
He nodded. "I know what you mean. And I've been up on their base ship several times. Living on a station though, it kind of smacks you in the face. There are so many details that you don't think about until you are somewhere 24-7. Anything I can do?"
Cheyenne shook her head no. "And the case. It's done then?"
"Pretty much."
"Anything else I need to do?"
"Need? No. But if you want to help the State Department, you could give an interview. You have some good press right now. I think it would help soothe the political fallout if you gave your side."
"I don't want to rat him out, or complain," Cheyenne said.
"You don't have to," Jack said. "After the interview, journalists have been digging. They know already, his drinking, your mom's mental health issues. But what they don't know, is you. They don't know how hard you've worked to be there for the kids, how you would do anything for them. I think it would help for people to see that side."
Cheyenne nodded. "I'll think about it. I can do it from here, right?"
Jack nodded.
After talking to Jack, Cheyenne continued her walk. She was still upset, but something felt different. Some of it was relief, knowing her children weren't going to be taken from her. A phrase kept working at the back of her mind, Jack saying "how hard you've worked for the kids."
Cheyenne found Lana on the couch, crying, when she came home. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"You're going to leave me," Lana replied.
Cheyenne scrunched her brow. "But... No. What?"
"I said maybe I should leave and you said you needed space to think about it."
Cheyenne just stared at her. Lana looked distraught. She gave Cheyenne a doleful look.
"No, no," Cheyenne said going to her side. "I meant the other stuff. I had to get away and think about the other stuff. I don't want you to leave."
"You don't?"
Cheyenne ran her hands through Lana's hair. "No, silly." Lana started towards her. Cheyenne pushed her back and then, before Lana could misread her intent, straddled her lap. "I don't want you to leave, honey."
"I don't want to leave either," Lana said. "I promise I will stop trying to fix things if you just tell me what that means."
Cheyenne laughed, a deep throaty laugh. The first real laugh she had laughed in weeks, it seems.
"I just, I've never had to depend on other people," Cheyenne said. "When I was a kid, well, you know my mother. I couldn't depend on her or dad. So I learned to depend on myself. Now I am constantly turning to you or Janda for help. I hate the way it makes me feel, but I don't hate you for being there. I love you for it." She kissed Lana briefly. "I've also felt so lost. I don't know where I fit in this world. I don't know what to do with myself, the kids, any of it."
"We will figure..." Lana started.
Cheyenne put a finger over her mouth. "Fixing things," she said gently. "Just listen." Lana nodded. "That's what I was thinking about on my walk. Then I talked Jack and..." she could tell Lana was itching to ask what Jack had said. There would be time later for that. "And I was reminded of something. Remember that day onboard the ship when you and Janda repaired my feet? There was a moment where they were talking about me being a hero and I didn't want it. I don't want to be the hero."
"I know..." Lana stopped dutifully at a look and let Cheyenne go on.
"But I said I would do it. For my kids. If being a hero is what I have to do for our people to be at peace, I'll do it, for them. I forgot that temporarily, but it's still true."
"Okay?"
"I'm going to call Capal Turik back," Cheyenne said. "I want to go check out Jinta. Everyone says they have the best schools. If I have to be the hero for them, so be it. My kids will have the best schools." As soon as she had made the decision, it was like a weight lifting from her shoulder. As she said it aloud, and even greater weight left her.
"And Mackenzie?"
"Maybe she'll be happier there, or maybe not. Maybe she'll hate me for her entire childhood. But someday she'll see, I am trying to give her the best start in life possible."
"I am sure she'll see that," Lana said. "And I'm glad you don't want me to leave. It would have broke my poor heart." She said it lightly but there was real pain behind the words.
"You poor thing," Cheyenne crooned, leaning forward and kissing her cheeks. "But this makes me realize something else. You take care of me medically. You know this world and I don't. You handle so much of the practical things. But when it comes to relationships... I've been married."
"I've never had a permanent relationship," Lana mourned. "I fear I am screwing everything up."
Cheyenne laughed again. "You're not. But this is my place. Just as you need to show me how to get around, do things here, I need to teach you, too."
"Like what sort of things?" Lana asked.
"Like, we are going to fight. Get used to it. It happens. And if I storm off again, or yell at you, it doesn't mean I don't love you. Relationships are just like that, they have their ups and downs."
Lana smiled. "I shall remember this lesson, teacher. Now, you wish we should contact Capal Turik?"
"Not yet," Cheyenne replied, running her hands over Lana's head and down across her shoulder. She wrapped the woman in her arms and kissed her again. "There's one more important lesson you must learn about relationships."
"Oh?" there was a hesitation in Lana's voice.
"Yeah," Cheyenne said, suppressing a giggle. "Make up sex."
"Make up sex?"
"Yes," Cheyenne insisted. "After a big fight you must work out all that pent up energy." She stood and held her hand out for Lana. "We've got a couple hours before the kids are back from school."
"Couple hours? I think I like this make up sex already," Lana said as she stood.
"Trust me," Cheyenne replied with a grin. "It's worth the fighting."