Chapter 43: chapter 43

My husband purchased a large-sized drum-like container to store water in case of shortage. He managed to get another drum which was kept for spare use at the shop. He climbed our rooftop to check whether the tank is full. He was troubled unnecessarily. He pestered to stock the kitchen with all the requirements as the government may declare a lockdown. He was up on his feet to equip himself for the upcoming calamity like a brave soldier. However, he calmed down after taking his daily doses of medicines. I have never seen him bothered about too many things in one go earlier.That phase was very challenging for me. I needed to keep my calm hoping for the best. I took a complete hiatus from writing and my doctoral endeavours. The health of my husband became my priority. I didn't care about my looks, health or well-being. I hopped around the house with unkempt hair. I shoved down meals with the sole purpose to survive nothing more. I forgot that I was a writer and a Research Scholar. My school was running smoothly in an online mode with the aid of my facilitators. I entered in between only when the need arouse. All were well informed about our condition at home. I took help from the managing director to order materials. My husband carried on such transactions but his mental health didn't permit him to accomplish the task. Some parents were pestering me for the materials so I sought help from the zonal team. One fine day, I received a mail from the University regarding the allotment of supervisors. I was glad to receive an intellectual professor at the University as my PhD supervisor. I called him immediately to enlighten him about my present status. He expressed his concern and sympathy for us. I told him, "Sir I seemed to experience the Pyshcoanalysis theory which you taught us during our coursework classes. Sigmund Freud's method of interpretation of his theory infused many questions in my subconscious mind. What he said about the id, superego and ego based on the functioning of the conscious, unconscious and subconscious mind is evolved to be justified. Sir, I witnessed the functioning of the disturbed mind in closed quarters via my husband. A point came when I lost all faith and believed to lose my husband to death like my father-in-law. "Sir, enlightened me on the numerous death that occurred in the University due to the pandemic. The English HOD lost her husband. She had a teenage boy, her only son. The Economics supervisor also lost her young husband to death. She had a little three-year-old daughter. Many faculty members were inflicted, some died, some recovered, and some were still struggling between life and death. The same news circulated from the University from where I had been an alumnus and worked as a teacher. Sir, bestowed some reassurances and asked me to form a group where he can execute his time-to-time discretions. Three scholars including me were given under his supervision. He regarded us as his family and shared his contact numbers and email addresses with us, asking us to be in touch. I didn't have an idea then, where my life was going to land me next. Completing my PhD was a distant thought. When my husband complained of excessive drowsiness, my mother-in-law retorted to stop the medicines. She opined, "These medicines are merely sleeping pills. Now that you are alright stop consuming them. You have continued it for a long time. It is going to be two months already. My mother got addicted to those pills and she continued it till her last breath. Don't make it an addiction, they are only sleeping pills which lull a person to sleep. "