"Where is he?"
I looked up from my plate in a questioning way and ran my eyes at each and every person sitting here in the cafeteria with me. Alec, Brian, Nathaniel and Evie. It was Evie who spoke.
I raised my eyebrows at her, "Where is who?"
She stared at me dumbfounded, "Xavier." She stated as a matter of fact.
They knew Xavier was back. They knew Xavier was asking for forgiveness and not leaving my side no matter what I did. They knew I wasn't yet ready to forgive him and still they are asking me about him.
I shrugged my shoulders not caring one bit, "It's better if he decided to stay away."
It's not like I took care of him after the rain stopped. Got him my father's clothes. Yet giving my parents the answer to why the hell did we even have Xavier standing there in our yard the whole night, not mention drenched in rain ALONG WITH ME.
I looked at Nathaniel and Alec to find them awkwardly silent. There is no denying that Xavier is their best friend...and hearing someone bad mouth about their best friend must be difficult.
"I didn't mean to..." I started looking at them but Nathaniel just held his hand out to me making me quiet.
"It's between the two of you. I am merely taking the side of the right. I just wanted Xavier to know that he was wrong leaving you...and now I just want the both of you to FUCKING GET TOGETHER ALREADY BECAUSE I AM STARTING TO LOSE THE ONLY TWO BRAINCELLS I HAVE."
I couldn't help but stare at him, "What is it that is even making you think that we will end up together?"
"You are meant to be! And anyone on this table," he looked around with fire in his eyes, "Fight me if I am wrong." He slammed his fist on the table lightly.
The way Nathaniel spoke. His voice tone just made it impossible to not believe whatever he was saying. Dang it...even I believed him! How does he even have this power?
Brian just raised one of his hands in surrender while stuffing the food in his mouth with the other, "I totally agree with you." He said with a mouthful of food.
I couldn't help but make a face as I noticed Brian's mouth stuffed with food and speaking incoherently.
I looked down at my food having no appetite now. I heard Brian cough as I snapped my attention to him.
"Woman!" Brian glared at Evie, "Atleast let me have my food peacefully!" He literally threw his head around in a circle in annoyance.
"Stop eating like an animal then!" She helped herself by taking his hair in her hands and shaking him to death. Once she was done Brian looked at her with horror filled in his eyes,
"What is it even that I like about you?" He asked with wide eyes. Slowly he reached out for his hair and tried to put them back together, "Do you even know how much time it takes for a guy like me to set his hair?"
"Ten. At the tops." Evie shrugged her shoulders like it didn't even matter to her.
By now I could almost see Brian wanting to go and bang his head against every wall standing here. But being the gentleman he is to Evie all he did was hold onto his hair tight in frustration, "The time to do your makeup, hair, dress everything combined."
Evie froze before having an expressionless face, "You are kidding." She stated.
Brian looked at her with so much seriousness that even exams couldn't compare that expression, "Test me. Hair are a man's crown."
"We have to agree to that." Alec and Nathaniel both said in unison while nodding their heads.
Wait a minute, really? I thought Brian was just exaggerating.
I saw Evie open her mouth but she was cut off by Nathaniel, "Xavier! Man, you are finally here."
All of their heads snapped to the cafeteria door where apparently Xavier stood. I did not even dare move my head as I started picking on my food. I didn't want to eat it.
I could hear the silence on our table. I assume Xavier was walking towards us because of their expressions.
Someone put a box of pizza in front of me. I snapped my head to find Xavier standing their with a grin on his face,
"What's this?" I asked looking back at the pizza.
"I went and grabbed it for you. I know how much you love pizza." He said. The grin never leaving his face as he brought up a chair and sat next to me.
I gulped before looking around the table to find everyone looking at me expectantly. I could see Evie making gooey eyes at Xavier.
The girl never fails to fascinate me by her oblivious nature. She is literally in awe at Xavier's gesture while the guy who loves her like crazy and does everything to let her know...she doesn't pay attention.
The only person on this table who didn't seem affected by Xavier's gesture, who sat there doing nothing but observing was....Alec.
I looked back at Xavier as he made himself comfortable before opening the box with an excitement. He smiled to himself before taking out a slice and bring it towards my mouth.
I faced away shaking my head coldly, "I don't want it."
"Come on." Xavier pressed, "A little bite."
I looked around and found everyone still looking at me expectantly as Xavier brought it near my mouth again,
"I don't want it! Why don't you understand for God's sake?!Give me some space!" I yelled slapping the pizza he was trying to feed me out of his hand. The slice dropped on the floor while everyone on the table went silent staring at me. I could see Xavier sitting there staring at the ground-- his jaw clenched tight. He clenched his hands into a fist.
I could almost see everyone on the table afraid. They were afraid of how Xavier would react because Xavier has never been treated like this...especially in front of everyone.
Nathaniel got up from his seat and tried to talk to Xavier so that he could divert his attention but Xavier wasn't paying attention. When Nathaniel kept on trying Xavier just held his hand out making him stop.
Xavier turned his eyes towards me. I gulped before meeting his hazel eyes head on,
"Fine." He said, "I'll give you as much space as you want."
There was softness in his voice. No matter how harsh I just acted towards him he didn't seem affected. He didn't seem angry. Rather he was willing to give me some space.
He got up from his seat and then bending down he picked up the slice of pizza from the ground.
I felt a sense of deja vu as I saw myself kneeling down in front of my spilled food on the first day...except it was Xavier in my place.
He took hold of it before turning away from me. I could feel the silence consuming everyone...even the other people present in the cafeteria. Afterall their golden boy was being yelled at. Their golden boy was picking up the food from the floor....for a girl.
I held onto the table as I waited for Xavier to get away but before going out he turned towards me one final time,
"Can I have a word with you outside? Just for a minute." He pointed his head out of the cafeteria.
I was silent for a while before silently nodding my head at him. I can listen to him. I can atleast do that much.
I got up from my seat as Xavier went outside. As I walked I could feel all the eyes on me. Judging me. I felt conscious of myself as I walked out silently.
Once I was out I looked around for Xavier. He was leaning against one of the walls looking down. His hair were as usual in their messy way. Once he noticed me, he lifted his eyes up to look at me. Pushing himself off the wall he came and stood in front of me,
"Wait for me, will you?" He spoke softly before going away.
I stood there confused as to what was going on. He called me here and now went away. I looked at his retreating figure as he went in the direction of his locker.
After five minutes I saw him walking towards me with a rolled paper in his hands. He had a small smile on his face as he came and stood in front of me,
"Here." He held the rolled paper out to me, "I'll give you as much space as you want. But this," he referred to the paper, "....belongs to you."
I stared at Xavier before looking at the paper in his hands which he now held out for me to take. Slowly I took it from him feeling the rough texture going down my receptors. I was about to roll it out when I felt Xavier's hands on my wrist making me stop. I moved my eyes towards him to find him shaking his head at me,
"Let me go first." He smiled at me before turning away, "I'll always keep waiting for you, Liya." He said without turning his head towards me.
Without saying anything further he walked away from me. I clutched onto the paper Xavier gave me with all my strength. I was afraid, afraid I might end up running after him. Stopping him.
And I didn't want that.
I cannot forgive him. I should not forgive him, right?
I stared at the paper in my hands now. I contemplated to open it or not before sighing.
I was afraid. I was afraid of what might be in there. Something that will make it more difficult? Something that might hurt me more?
And I was just not ready to see what was inside yet. So I did the only the only thing that seemed sensible enough to do right now.
I went and placed it inside my locker. I stared at it sitting there inside longingly before shutting it back.
°°°
True to his words I didn't see Xavier after that. Not in school. Not in parking lot. No where.
It was finally time to go home as I descended the stairs to go to the parking lot. I was lost in my own thoughts.
Once I was almost down I looked straight to find Alec leaning there against his car. I smiled softly at him as I let my hands swing before jumping the last few stairs and moving towards him.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked with the smile still playing around my lips.
Alec was silent for a while before he said, "Will you ever forgive Xavier?"
He was straight to the point. He didn't even try stalling.
I cleared my throat, "I don't think so."
He stared at me with his sky crystal eyes before nodding his head slowly.
Even if I want to forgive Xavier...I am not able to get myself to.
"Then I still stand a chance, right?" He asked.
I blinked a few times before going and leaning against the car beside him. I stared at the ground before taking a deep breath,
"Alec, I don't want to lead you on." I said in a meek voice.
It is so hard to turn him down even though he has done nothing but stand by my side.
"You are not holding onto Xavier anymore...then what is stopping you?" He asked turning his head towards me and looking me in the eyes.
I dared not meet his eyes as I thought of his question. What is stopping me? Rather...who?
"I-" I stopped mid sentence.
"You still love Xavier, don't you?" Alec asked with a smile on his face.
I stayed silent before nodding my head in embarrassment. I was still very much in love with Xavier. My feelings for him haven't changed. How can they? I still feel hurt. I still feel pain.
"Then what is stopping you?" He asked me desperately.
"I-I don't know." I mumbled.
"Liya." Alec said slowly, "You love Xavier. He loves you. What more do you need?... I think you both have gone through enough now...I want you to be happy. And I know Xavier will make you happy."
"I know." I admitted.
"Then what is it?" He asked again.
"I am afraid." I finally let out as I stared at the school building now. There weren't many people around us anymore.
"Of what?" I could still feel Alec's eyes on me.
I played with my fingers as I looked around nervously, "I might end up getting hurt again." Then turning my head towards him I looked him in the eyes as I shook my head, "I don't want to get hurt again. I don't think I will be able to take it this time, Alec."
I could feel the tears forming on the edge of my eyes as I wiped them off.
Alec listened to me before falling silent. He gazed into my eyes intently before averting his eyes and turning his head up to look at the sky,
"Aren't we all?" He smiled softly, "We all are afraid one way or the another. But that's just what makes us human. Makes us grow. We all are afraid, Liya. But we can't let that fear become a barrier between our happiness." He looked back at me,
"This is the beauty of love. Even when you are afraid...it will still push you to do things... Look at Brian, he is afraid that if he tells Evelyn about his feelings then it will ruin their friendship. Knowing this very well he still continues to love her because this is something which is not in our hands.
"We cannot control our feelings for a person. Neither were we able to and nor can we...Leave everyone else. Take my example." His eyes twinkled as he tilted his head to one side, "I still fell for you even when I knew you were my bestfriend's fiancee. And no matter what. No matter how much I tried...I couldn't help myself. I knew the risk very well I was taking while falling for you deeper. But I took it. Because the more I was trying to stop my feelings for you the deeper I was falling...And if given the chance I will still choose to fall in love with you all over again...because the feeling was unreal. The moments spent with you were unreal.
"Even though I know very well that even if I try the hardest...your heart will always belong to Xavier. And stupidly, I am okay with that. As long as you are happy it doesn't matter how bad it hurts me...that's how badly love affects you. So being afraid is completely fine as long as you have someone to share it with. I know Xavier...once he loves, he does it with all his heart. And you deserve it."
I stared at him in astonishment. I was left speechless. Was Alec always this mature or today was something special?
"You are helping me to go back to Xavier, aren't you?" I asked looking at him mischievously.
Alec shrugged his shoulders before looking straight ahead. He got away from the car as he went to stand in front of me and look me in the eyes with adoration, "Do you want me to tell you the truth?...I just want you to be happy. If given the chance I would have sweeped you off with me, but I want to act selfless for you. So when Xavier says he left you for you because he wanted you to he happier...I know what he went through. I know what would have gone through his head. And how hard it would have been."
"I never left him. I held onto him no matter what." I looked into both his eyes trying to make my point.
"Don't you think he was convinced all the more? You never left his side...you still continued loving him even after all he made you go through. Just like you are afraid of him hurting you...maybe he was afraid of hurting you."
I fell silent as I searched Alec's eyes. Why were his words making so much sense right now? Why can I see Xavier's point now?
Why do I feel like...it's enough. All we have gone through is enough. And now I just want this to end. I want this pain to end. I finally want my heart to have what it has been searching for these past few years in Xavier. The love I have been searching. Craving.
I went and hugged Alec tightly. He seemed surprised but slowly he wrapped his arms around me,
"Thank you so much." I mumbled silently. If it wasn't for you....I don't know how much longer I would have gone. How much longer I would have put my heart through this pain. Not only my heart but both of our hearts.
One way or another...If I went through all that pain. I have the right to receive the fruit of it. I have the right to receive that love I craved for from Xavier.
"I don't know how much longer I can control myself if you continue hugging me like this." I heard Alec snapping me out of my thoughts.
I chuckled lightly before stepping away from him and looking at him with affection, "You'll find someone better." I assured him.
He stared at me before his eyes softened at the edges and he shook his head in denial, "I won't...you were the one for me."
The one for him? I didn't even once gave him the love he deserves. He deserves someone so much better than me. Someone who will love him and won't be stuck on someone else. Someone who will love him for him. He'll be the one for her.
"As you said...we can't control our feelings." I smiled knowingly at him.
He shook his head before looking up at the sky again. His eyes were the same shade as that of the sky. There was a sad smile on his face,
"We can't. But I also said that I was already in love with you. And I don't want to change that. That's the best thing that has happened to me and if given the chance I will still fall for you." He looked back at me with so much love held in his eyes.
He will. I know he will find someone. Someone who will make him believe in love again.
He cleared his throat as he blinked his eyes continually, "I'll get going now. I hope you will find your way back to Xavier."
I continued staring at him as he looked around nervously before moving and starting to walk towards the driver's seat.
This was so unusual of Alec. He would usually offer me a ride but he didn't. Were his emotions too much? Maybe he needed some space to sort his feelings out.
I stared at him as he opened the door to the driver's seat. He stopped before looking back at me. I noticed how much his blonde hair had grown since the first time we met.
"This might be the last time I talk to you about my feelings for you."
There was sadness in his eyes. I slowly walked towards him and stood in front of him. He looked around in order to ignore me before finally settling his eyes on me.
I stepped towards him and out of nowhere kissed his cheeks lightly. He was surprised and stared at me with wide eyes as I smiled softly at him,
"I will always be grateful for all you did for me."
He cleared his throat before giving me a lopsided smile, "Before I end up kidnapping you...go to Xavier and clear it out."
I nodded my head at him trying to suppress my smile. He grinned down at me before getting in the car and closing the door. Once he was inside he rolled the windows down before saluting me with two of his fingers,
"I love you, Alec." I let him know. I love you like a best friend would be loved.
And he knew it too because I could see that sad smile apparent on his face again, "And I will always be in love with you."
I didn't know what to say to that as he looked me in the eyes with so much intensity. He finally averted his eyes before revving the engine. He rolled the window back up and drove away.
I stared at his white car going out of my sight. Once it was out I sighed before looking down.
I decided to walk back home and then go to Xavier's house to clear all this out when I remembered the thing Xavier gave me. How could I forget it? It was still sitting in my locker.
I ran back inside and down the corridors with my bag swinging behind my back. Once I was standing in front of my locker I took a few deep breaths trying to regain my normal breathing.
Slowly, I stepped towards it and putting in the locker number I saw it open. I stared at the paper sitting inside now. What can it be? For all I know it is something close to Xavier. Something Xavier loves. And I could tell by the way he carried it.
I reached out and took it in my hands. I could feel a drop of sweat trail down my temple as I felt a deep knot in my stomach. I wanted to know what was in there but at the same time I was afraid.
Finally, I slowly rolled it out and held it in front of my eyes to have a better view. I felt my throat clench up as I stared at it. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for this piece of art.
I bit my lip as I tried to not cry.
I knew Xavier knew how to sketch. I had seen that when I was there in his room. But I never knew Xavier would sketch this...and now when I think...there was one sketch he hid from me that day. Could it be this one?
I again stared at it with tenderness.
It was a sketch of the abandoned amusement park with a particular of the ferris wheel. But that wasn't it. I was there sitting on top of the ferris wheel with Xavier. Hand in hand. Lip to lip. And it was so beautiful.
I inhaled deeply before looking around. Why didn't I open it sooner? Why didn't he let me see it sooner?
I put it back in the locker with shaky hands with the only thought running through my head that I need to go to Xavier's house.
I went back to the parking lot before walking my way to Xavier's house. I can walk that far, can't I?
I was only five minutes into walking when I noticed the place. The spot where Xavier would usually drop me off. And then that one time when he willingly took me to school.
Once I was just in front of the spot I stopped and gazed at it for a total of one minute...these past few months were totally a wreck. So much happened. So many things broke. And so much more was found.
"Do you plan on spending the night here?"
He would ask.
"Do you really want to get late?" I heard a voice.
I snapped my head to the other side of the road to find Brian's car parked at the end of it.
How did I not notice it?
He was sitting there with a grin on his face and the windows rolled down. The next thing I saw was Evie's head pop from beside him. She had the same grin as Brian as she hurried me to get in the car.
I looked both ways before going towards their car and standing there in front of them like a dumb person.
"Get in." They repeated.
"What is going on?" I asked confused.
Evie shook her head at me, "We are helping you get together with Xavier."
"H-how..." realization struck me, "Did you guys know Alec was there talking to me?"
The both of them shrug their shoulders and looked at me innocently, "We may or may not."
I looked at them in exaggeration, "Are you serious?"
Brian made a silly face before getting out of the car and opening the back door he threw me inside, "We are your best friends. And best friends help you get what is best for you." He shut the door close before giving me a smile.
Then going back to sit in his own seat I went and sat in the middle where I could see the both of them.
"And where are we going exactly?" I asked rolling my eyes.
Brian put his hands near his mouth and yelled, "The next stop will be Liya's lover's house."
I scrunched my eyebrows before hitting him on his arms. He grinned at me before looking at Evie. He smiled softly towards her before driving off to Xavier's.
Alec was right when he said that even when we all are afraid...we still continue to love that person. Just like Brian loves Evie.
And I want them to be together.
I know they will have their own ups and down but in the end...I am sure they will make it work.
Because best friends can be lovers too.
"I am so grateful to have you guys." I said out of nowhere.
It was the same thing I told Alec but it was the truth. I was so grateful to have them in my life. All of them. Alec, Nathaniel, Brian, Evie, Luke and Xavier.
"Uhuh" I heard Evie say. I looked at her as she smiled at me with her eyes sparkling, "We are grateful to have you. Since you came into my life it has been so full of adventures and everything I love... and most of all...we got you as our best friend."
I wanted to scream and cry out of happiness while squeezing the both of them out. That is how much I was feeling love towards them.
The rest of the way to Xavier's was filled with us bickering at anything and everything. Just like we always do. Brian was talking rubbish as always while Evie would make fun of him.
"In the next life I want to become a panda." Brian said as he pulled in front of Xavier's house. He turned towards us and grinned, "So that I can laze around without anyone complaining. Ughhh no doubt I love pandas."
"I will never get your weird obsession with pandas." I rolled my eyes before getting out of the car leaving Brian alone with Evie.
I stared at his house before taking a deep breath and going towards it. I rang the doorbell as I stood on his porch. I waited for the door to open as I stood there nervously pinching my fingers. I looked back and found Brian and Evie looking in my way expectantly.
I heard the door being opened as I snapped my attention back to the front to find Hannah, Xavier's mom, standing there looking at me with his son's eye color.
"Liya? Sweetheart what are you doing here? Is everything alright? Why don't you come inside?" She stepped away from the door inviting me inside.
I gave her a smile before shaking my head, "I just came to talk to Xavier. Can I?"
She looked at me confused before she said, "He's not home yet. Didn't you see him?"
I shook my head as I assured her, "I'll come back another time, Hannah. I really need to find Xavier."
She still seemed confused but she nodded her head at me in understanding, "Sure."
I nodded at her one last time before running back towards the car and getting inside.
"What happened?"Evie asked me curiously as soon as I got in.
"He's not home." I replied as I took my phone out and tried dialing his number.
"What do you mean he's not home? Where can he be? I mean...he is not with Nathaniel, not with Alec for sure...then?" Brian asked putting too much pressure on his little brain.
The call went straight to voicemail as I thought of what Brian was saying. Where can Xavier probably be? If not anywhere where will he go?
Where is he likely to go when he is upset? Alone? Guilty? Frustrated?
I could only see the back of his head, "I come here when I feel lonely." He muttered.
I looked at the both of them in alarm, "I know. I know where Xavier went."
°°°
I walked slowly towards the amusement park. I had asked Brian and Evie to go back as I was sure I would find Xavier here.
I looked around at all the rides in here. Nothing changed since the last time. It was still the same. Old rusty rides which no one was using anymore.
I looked around in hope of finding Xavier sitting there in between any of the rides. When I couldn't find him I sighed.
I felt a sinking feeling in my heart as I looked up at the sky to find it slowly changing colours. How many hours has it been?
I was about to close my eyes when my eyes settled on the ferris wheel. The one Xavier sketched. A smile automatically made it's way onto my face.
Coming here wasn't a complete waste of time afterall. I still got to admire this beauty Xavier drew us in.
My eyes automatically landed on the top seat where he sketched us kissing. My eyes widened as I saw it. Saw him. He sat there facing towards the right with his chin resting on his hands and his arms resting on his knees as he was lost into deep thoughts.
I couldn't help but continue gazing at him and admire his beauty with all the imperfections he was made up with. Even from far away I could tell he was weary. Tired.
I walked towards the ferris wheel. He didn't even seem to notice me. He was so lost in his own thoughts.
Did he know I was going to come here to find him? Or maybe he actually came here because he felt despair.
I secured my phone in my back pocket before placing my bag pack down there and getting myself ready to climb up there.
I can do it. I reminded myself before getting up and becoming a ninja I can I climbed up the ferris wheel using all the things that could help me climb up. I made sure not to make a sound as to make him aware of my presence. We don't want that, do we?
I was already huffing for air as I almost got to the top. Climbing a ferris wheel isn't easy! Take it from me. It is energy consuming.
O-oneeee more and done.
I was finally on the top. The only thing I needed to do was get into the seat with Xavier. I hoped Xavier to take notice of me but as his face was away from me and he was lost in his own train of thoughts he didn't even notice me.
"You should not make a lady stand here in danger while you sit there." I said trying to get his attention.
And I did.
He snapped his attention to me before blinking his eyes and not saying anything for a minute.
"Well." I raised my eyebrows.
Xavier's expression changed to that of realization before he cursed. He looked around and shifting in his seat he made some space for me,
"Holy shit. You are actually here." He mumbled before taking my hand and helping me in.
Once I was seated next to him I could feel his eyes on me looking at me expectantly. I looked around and noticed the view in front of me.
Forget Xavier. Holy shit. The view was spectacular. I could see the whole town from here. And the setting sun was only doing justice to this place.
"It is beautiful." I was awestruck.
I felt Xavier shift in his seat before looking ahead with me, "I know. I have always wanted you to see this."
I turned my head towards him and noticed him now. I couldn't help but soften my eyes at him as he continued looking in the front. His brown locks were still covering a few parts of his forehead while his hazel eyes were the greenest right now.
Slowly he turned his head towards me and looked me in the eyes now,
"Did you see it?" He asked.
I knew what he was talking about. He was talking about the sketch he gave me. The same sketch which showed the same thing...the only thing that was missing was...the kiss.
My eyes travelled down to his pink lips. I could see him sucking in a deep breath. I went back to look him in the eyes and I could see the desire in his eyes.
Without wasting anymore time I placed my hand behind his neck before pulling him in to make his lips lock with mine.
I kissed Xavier as he seemed surprised but kissed me slowly before finally regaining and kissing me with all he had. It was like his life depended on it. Like he needed it.I needed it. We both did.
I could feel the sparks in my body as well as the butterflies in my stomach as we continued kissing each other.
I felt Xavier smile in between through the kiss.
I couldn't help but smile myself.
How could Xavier predict that we would kiss here? And yet this was more beautiful than anything. Me and Xavier on top of the ferris wheel. Kissing. The sun setting and illuminating our faces. And both of our hearts finally mending each other.
We pulled apart in between our kiss to take a few quick deep breaths. We both looked into each others eyes before leaning our forehead against each other and chuckling to ourselves.
Xavier slowly lifted his hand up and tugged a strand of my hair behind my ear before looking at me with warmth and love.
"You forgave me." He remarked with happiness.
I nodded my head at him in affirmative.
I could see him taking a breath of relief before he looked back at me,
"I am the luckiest guy." He whispered.
"You are." I chuckled.
Xavier smiled with me before pulling me in to kiss him again. I leaned in towards him before kissing him back. I could tell by the way he was kissing me that he was happy.
I was happy.
Xavier pulled back again before smiling at me wide. I could see his smile reaching the edge of his eyes. He rested his arms behind my waist before pulling me in and making me rest my head on his shoulder as we looked into the oblivion together. The setting sun, the rosey sky, the chirping birds, the orange clouds. It was all just perfect.
I rested my hand on his torso as he tilted his head sideways to rest on top of mine. I could feel myself falling in love all over again. And as Alec said...it was one of the most beautiful experience. And everything you go through it is worth it.
What is love they ask. I say love is when you are willing to go extreme for a person. You don't care what is waiting for you at the end of it. You just start falling deeper and deeper for the person and you don't even realize why because feelings are yet another thing we can't control. You don't decide who you'll fall in love with. Your heart does. And the moment you are utterly and deeply in love there is no going back. And you know that. It is like a bog, the more you try the deeper you'll end up falling. The only time when you get out is if someone helps you out and once you get out, there's no going back.
The feeling of love is indescribable. It just consumes you. There is this warm feeling in your heart all the time that no matter what you can't shake it off. And you don't want to either. You just love it. And no matter how bad of a memory you have you'll always end up remembering each and every good moment spent with them. From the accidental touch of the hands to a 'making your legs go weak' kiss. You just know when you have found the one.
Different people have different meanings for love. While some are more expressive, others tend to stay silent. Some don't even realize when they fall in love while others fall in love at first sight.
But the most arduous one is when the person loves you so much that he is willing to give up on you forever. They are ready to sacrifice their feelings for you just so that you can stay happy. They love you enough to let you go with another person. And in they hide their feelings for the lifetime. All you can do is wish for them to find someone better. Someone who loves them just enough to make them want to fall in love once again. And you know they will find someone better. The one.
I felt Xavier shift in his seat as he tried to face me now, "I am utterly and deeply in love with you, Liya kapur." He smiled before taking my hand and kissing the back of it.
"And I am utterly and deeply in love with you, Xavier Reed." I replied back in a sheepish way.
I could feel the happiness radiating through Xavier as he took my hand in his and intervened our fingers together. My hands fitted inside his hands perfectly as if they were meant to be. I looked back at Xavier and couldn't help but be mesmerised by him.
He held his hand out before reaching out in his pocket with another hand. He brought his hands back and slipped a ring on my ring finger.
My jaw dropped open as I stared at the heart shaped ring sitting on my ring finger now. The heart was studded with small little diamonds. I looked back at Xavier with wide eyes as he looked at me with affection.
Why was he carrying a ring with him? And why did he slip it on me? Is-Is he proposing to me?
"Let's spend the rest of our lives together, Liya."
He is. He did propose to me.
I nodded my head at him enthusiastically before hugging him tightly and trying to control myself from crying out of happiness.
He held me tightly as I finally felt at home. Finally felt the love. Felt happy.
All we went through. All ups and down it was all the part of it. Part of the love we feel. And it only helped us mature more. Only helped us grow more together.
And I know for a fact that everyone will find their 'one'. At some point or another they will. Because feeling are yet another thing we can't control.
â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡The Endâ¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡â¡
'It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.'
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson
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