(Listen to "Before it sinks in" by Moira Dela Torre:))
Xavier's pov
"Why are you smiling to yourself?" Nathaniel asked looking at me weirdly.
I don't know. I just kissed a girl yesterday. And even though it might not feel like such a big deal, it was for me. I might have kissed a few girls but none of them made me feel giddy like her. None of them made me want to keep it going on forever. None of them ever made me realize how the person kissing me was the most important person in my life....I was finally clear on my feelings.
I have always been in love with Liya.
Call me stupid or idiot. Call me names for realizing it late, but I do now.
I wasn't afraid to admit it anymore. I know for a fact that I haven't been in love with her for the contract that was imposed on us. I love her for who she is.
Trying to be the best she can be. She wants to help everyone in her way. She doesn't give up like most people do. Her determination is what kept me on my toes. Pretending to be strong even when she wasn't.
"Are you going crazy? There you are smiling again." Nathaniel made a slurping sound while drinking his smoothie.
I ignored him again.
I just can't wait to tell Liya about my feelings...Even though it has always been Liya showing me her love, she never confessed to me. I want to be the first one to do so.
"Atleast tell us why are we here?" Alec asked calmly.
I smirked before sitting back in my seat, "You are here to accompany me while I wait."
Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows, "Wait for who?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "Olivia."
They both fell silent. I looked at them with my eyebrows raised. They shared a look before sighing.
What was with them?
We were sitting in a cafe just near Liya's home. Once I was done talking with Olivia, I will give Liya a call and call her here to finally finish all of this.
Finally.
I didn't even have anything with Olivia anyway. The only time we behaved anything closer to a couple was in front of Liya. That was it.
"Xavier," Nathaniel put down his smoothie and looked at me seriously, "You are like my brother. And taking it as my right I am telling you to stop making it any harder for Liya. She is perfect for you. You can't find anyone better than her."
I know. That is what I am doing.
I nodded my head at them silently. If I am supposed to let anyone know about my feelings towards Liya....it has to be her. Not anyone else.
"Nathaniel is right." Alec said crossing his arms, "Stop putting her through pain. Stop hurting her anymore than you already have. Don't let your walls be too high that she gives up."
I am letting my walls down. It's not my fault that I don't open up to people just like that.
The entrance to the cafe opened while the bell just above it made a clinking sound. My eyes turned towards it to find Olivia looking around in search of something before her eyes settled on me. A smile appeared on her face as she started making her way towards our table. The heels she wore made a clanking sound as she walked. She was dressed perfectly and looked perfect. Not a flaw here or there. But that was the thing. Nobody loves perfect. Flawless. Your scars are what make you beautiful.
As she approached us she put her handbag on the table in front of us before sitting down in a chair,
"It is the first time that you invited me somewhere." She said with a smile, "It has to be important."
I kept a straight face, "It is."
Alec and Nathaniel got up from their seats while looking at the both of us, "We both will leave you two alone to talk."
I nodded my head at them while Olivia looked confused. Before going Alec gave me a look. I looked at him confused.
What is wrong with him? Why does he seem like he can kill me any minute now?
As soon as the both of them were out Olivia crossed her arms over her chest looking at me, "What is it?"
Getting straight to the point, huh? Fine.
I took a deep breath, "As much as it may be hard for you to take. I think we should break up."
There. I said it. Straight to the point.
She fell silent. Her green eyes running all over my face. I kept my composure as I returned her gaze.
I couldn't tell the expression on her face. Whether she was impacted deeply, hurt or what?
She opened her mouth, "Okay."
I stared at her dumbfounded. I blinked my eyes a few times.
Just okay?
That's it? Is it really this simple?
"Okay?" I asked.
She nodded her head at me in
affirmative, "Okay."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"You don't want to yell at me?" I asked confused.
"No. Why would I?"
"I don't know. I thought it was normal for people to be mad or sad after break up?"
She laughed, "Come on Xavier. We didn't have anything to be sad about."
"True that." I mumbled quietly.
She was silent for a while. She drummed her nails on the table while they made a satisfying sound. I looked around awkwardly.
"Well I am not going before you buy me something to drink." She said trying to break the silence.
I got up from my seat, "Of course."
I went to the counter to order her something to drink. When I came back she was on her phone. She kept it aside once she saw me. I tried to smile at her before sitting in my seat.
She looked around, then at her hands before looking back at me.
"Are you sure you can keep her happy?" She asked.
I looked up at her in surprise. I knew she was talking about Liya. But I was a little surprised that she guessed it.
"That has nothing to do with you."
She nodded her head at me, "I know. But believe me when I say I want Liya to be happy. I knew from the start that nothing was going to happen between us." She pointed at the both of us, "But I still tried to get close to you in front of Liya to help her move on."
"You mean you kissed me to help her move on?"
She sighed before looking up at the ceiling and then at me, "Yes I did. I wanted her to know that she deserves better."
Who can be better for her than me?
"You are not better. If anything, can you remember even a single moment when you didn't hurt her? When she didn't cry because of something you said? When she didn't have to try to make you feel your true feelings towards her?"
I fell silent staring at her. I couldn't bring myself to say anything because she was right. She was right in so many ways. She was so right that I hated it.
I never ever gave any good moments to Liya. All I have ever given to her were scars. And I was ready to heal them up.
"Xavier." She said. I looked up at her grass like green eyes in a questioning way, "I know for a fact that Liya will do better without you."
Stop. Make her stop please. Someone tell her to shut up.
I clutched my hand into a fist. And even though all of the things she was saying was hurting me....she was right again.
"What do you mean?" I asked even though I knew what she meant. But I was too afraid to just agree to it. But I also knew it was for the best.
"You know what I mean." She said.
I looked at her wildly. Of course I knew what she meant.
She looked at me before sighing, "Fine. If you want me to say it out aloud then,....Let go off Liya."
There. She said it. The thing I was afraid to hear the most.
"And you know it too. She will be better off without you. Stop holding onto her. Stop hurting her."
She will be better off without me. But I don't want to let her go. I am selfish in so many ways.
"If you truly love her you will let her go. You won't hold onto her. And I may sound like a villain but believe me it is for her. She deserves so much more happiness than what you can provide her."
I closed my eyes in pain. Why does it hurt to hear the truth? All I have given her are bad memories. Whenever she is with me all I do is hurt her.
And I don't want to do that to her anymore.
I love her enough to give her up for her happiness. If she can find happiness without me then why not?
I looked at Olivia. She was sincere about all the things she said. And that was making me mad at her. I was going to make things over and going to start a relationship with Liya. I was finally letting down my walls for her.
But Olivia's words just made me realize that I can't be selfish. Not with the person I love. I have seen Liya suffer so much for me. The least I can do is let her go and help her move on.
A girl came and put the drink I just ordered for Olivia on the table. Olivia looked up at her before thanking her. Then she went to look at me expectantly.
I clenched my jaw before closing my eyes in agony.
"Xavier?" She called.
When I opened my eyes again I could feel the coldness directed at her. She seemed taken off guard as she looked at me.
"Leave." I said coldly.
I need time. I am about to do something I might regret for the rest of my life. The least she can do for making me realize it is leave me alone and let me suffer while I prepare for the worst.
She looked at me unsure before she noticed my coldness. She cleared her throat before getting up--taking her drink.
If it was Liya she wouldn't have backed down by my glare.
She held onto the drink in one hand while taking her handbag on the table from another, "Think about what I just said." She finally said before leaving me.
I sat there silent. My heart aching to leave this place. But I knew what was to be done.
Xavier Reed, you don't deserve Liya. The least you can do for the person you love is let her go.
I'll let her go.
I could feel the numbness taking over me as I dialled her number. Whoever thought that after not more than half an hour I would be afraid to give her a call? I wouldn't want her to pick up.
She picked up on the second bell, "Hello?" She said.
I could hear the excitement in her voice. I felt my heart tear as I tried to control myself.
"Can we meet?" I asked trying to sound rigid.
She was silent for a while before saying, "Yes! Where do we meet?"
She was happy. I could hear it in her voice. But I have to let her go if I want her to be happier. She'll be happier without me.
I tried to keep my composure as I told her to meet me at the cafe.
I can already feel that this was going to be the worst day of my life.
__
Before you decide onto coming after me with your knives and weapons, let me remind you, you are in quarantine. Stay safe!
Don't get mad at me for bringing this twist....it had to be done.
What do you think Xavier will do?
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Love youuu<3