Chapter 20: chapter 20

S A N M A Y I The night was unnaturally still, as though the very air itself held its breath in anticipation. The stars hung in the sky like scattered embers, their faint light struggling against the overwhelming darkness of the world below. It was in these quiet, uncertain hours that I found myself once again amongst the rebels, my thoughts constantly tugging me back to Amaravati—back to Ranajay.I had rejoined the resistance, as planned. My role was clear: sabotage, strike, and rally those who still dared to oppose the tyranny of Amaravati. But as much as my mind fought to remain focused on the task at hand, my heart seemed determined to return to the prince I once despised. Even in the heat of battle, even amidst the whispers of revolt, the image of Ranajay haunted me.As the rebels huddled around their fire, plotting their next moves, I sat apart, my gaze wandering into the shadows. My body was there, but my mind was lost, spinning in a vortex of conflicting emotions. The resistance was my family now, the only people who could possibly offer me some semblance of justice. But how could I truly embrace this cause when my very soul was divided?I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing the chaos of my thoughts to wash over me. There was no denying the anger, the hatred that still burned in my chest whenever I thought of Amaravati and all it had taken from me. My family. My home. The life I had once known. But alongside that fury was something far more insidious—an ache, a yearning, a pull that I could not ignore.Ranajay.I had promised myself that I would never let him back in. That I would never let him—the enemy—worm his way into my heart again. And yet, with every passing day, the connection between us seemed to grow stronger, like an invisible thread I could not sever, no matter how hard I tried. Each time I closed my eyes, his face haunted me—his gaze, so much like mine, torn between duty and desire. The memory of his voice, the weight of his presence, lingered in the air long after he was gone.It was the longing that I could not escape. It was the way he had looked at me that night before my escape, the hesitation in his eyes when he had ordered my release. As if a part of him still cared. And that, above all, was what I couldn’t shake. His loyalty was to Amaravati, to his father, to the throne. But beneath that loyalty, I had seen something else—a flicker of doubt, of something deeper, more complex.A soft rustle brought me back to the present, and I turned my head to see Vasudha approaching. Her face was shadowed, but I knew well the weight she carried. She had been with me since the beginning, guiding me through the chaos of our fractured lives."Sanmayi," she said quietly, her voice soft but firm, "they’re ready for the next phase."I nodded, forcing myself to focus on the task at hand. "Tell them I’ll be there shortly."Vasudha lingered for a moment, her gaze piercing, as if she could read the very thoughts plaguing my mind. "You cannot continue this battle with one foot in the past, child. Your heart is torn in two. You must choose."I swallowed hard. "I have chosen," I replied, though even as the words left my lips, I knew they were not entirely true.She did not argue, but her silence was loud enough to echo in my ears. She knew the battle within me was far from over.---Meanwhile, far from the campfires of the resistance, in the cold halls of Amaravati’s palace, Ranajay stood alone, the weight of his father’s disappointment heavy upon his shoulders. The king had made it clear that my escape was a failure on his son’s part, a disgrace that could not be tolerated. Ranajay had been called into the royal chambers that morning, where his father had scolded him in front of the entire court, accusing him of failing in his duty."You’ve made a mockery of this kingdom, Ranajay!" the king had thundered, his voice echoing through the great hall. "A prisoner escapes under your watch, and you allow it! What does this say about your leadership?"Ranajay had said nothing, his eyes fixed on the floor, his fists clenched at his sides. He could feel the judgment of every noble in the room, each of them waiting for him to break under the pressure. But he had stood firm, as he always did. He had known that his duty, his loyalty, would be questioned after my disappearance. But he had not expected to be so thoroughly condemned by the very people he had sworn to protect."It is not about the escape, Father," Ranajay had finally spoken, his voice low but resolute. "It is about the reasons behind it. The unrest in the kingdom, the whispers of rebellion... we cannot ignore what is happening."The king had not been pleased with this response. His eyes narrowed, and his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. "You are here to serve Amaravati, Ranajay. Not to question it. If you cannot maintain control, then we will find someone who can."It was a threat, unspoken but understood.Ranajay had left the chamber, his heart heavy with guilt and frustration. He had failed the kingdom, yes, but there was something else that weighed on him more—his failure to protect me. The connection between us, strange and complicated as it was, had not been severed by my escape. No matter how hard he tried to focus on his duty, his mind constantly returned to me.The ache in his chest was undeniable. It was not just the anger at my escape—it was the frustration of knowing that he could not change the circumstances. He could not undo the destruction he had caused, could not undo the choices he had made. And yet, when he thought of me—of my defiance, my strength, my anger—there was something within him that longed for it. That longed for me.But he could not have me. I was a threat to everything he had been raised to protect. I was the enemy. He was duty-bound to destroy me, to crush the rebellion I had become a symbol of. Yet, in his heart, he knew the truth: there was a part of him that still wanted to protect me.As the days wore on, Ranajay found it harder to focus on his duties. The rebellion continued to grow, the whispers of dissent louder in the streets. And through it all, he thought of me—of the fire that burned within me, and the fire that now burned within him.The battle between us was far from over.---In the end, we were both prisoners—bound by duty, by our pasts, by forces beyond our control. The world around us pressed in, threatening to crush us beneath its weight. But no matter the distance between us, no matter how much I tried to bury my feelings, I knew one thing for certain: our bond was not so easily broken.And as I lay awake that night, alone in the rebel camp, I wondered what would happen if we ever came face to face again. Would we be enemies, locked in a battle to the death? Or would we finally admit what we both feared to acknowledge—that despite everything, we were still connected?It was a question I could not answer, but one that I knew would haunt me until the very end.