Word Count: 1986
~Avila
People swarm in front of me as I sift through the crowd.
Emerick strolls through the exit, not glancing back once. Does he want me to follow him? If he doesn't, I don't care.
I make it to the exit, looking at where it leads out to the rest of the house.
Emerick stalks down the hall, out the back door, and into the night. It feels like he's leading me out, or maybe he didn't mean for me to catch sight of him.
A hand grabs my wrist before I can start toward him. "Avila."
It's Roel, looking at me beneath overgrown brows. He wears a lavish scarlet jacket with black accents. He seems like a royal himself.
"Hey." I shift away, ensuring I'm blocking the exit in case Emerick is lingering. "I was just getting some air."
"It's cold out there. Why don't you come inside so we can dance." He holds his arm out, his smile tender.
Without glancing back, I link my arm through his and let him lead me back onto the dancefloor. If Emerick thinks about sticking around, he will have to wait until I can get away again.
"Are you enjoying the ball?" He asks, shifting me into a dancing position.
"Not particularly," I mumble, thinking back to my sour interaction with Vade's father, Evrek.
No wonder Vade is wary about trusting people. If I grew up with someone like Evrek, constantly vying for power and money, I would also have a problem with people.
Although I suspect my upbringing probably wasn't much better.
"I hope you're not too overwhelmed," he says. "I imagine it's difficult being around so many people who knew a version of you that no longer exists."
"I'm trying not to panic," I respond smoothly.
It's hard, considering I've felt an aching pressure in my chest since I walked in. I can feel people's gaze against my skin like needle pricks.
"You've been struggling with anxiety, haven't you?" He murmurs lowly, making sure anyone who dances close doesn't overhear.
Even a perfectly reasonable feeling would show my inability to rule one day.
"Sometimes my fear is too much to handle," I admit.
"I'm starting to worry about that. Perhaps in the coming days, you should sit down with me, and we can have a proper chat about it all," Noel muses, giving me a long look that reminds me he isn't offering.
I nod, sweeping my gaze around the room.
I'm looking for another Emerick sighting. He's nowhere to be found, but instead, I catch sight of Vade. He's dancing with an older-looking woman who he smiles down at. He, too, has many obligations to fulfil tonight.
I look back at Roel. "Do you think there is something wrong with me?"
"Of course not. We need to get a better handle on your emotions, that's all," he assures me, squeezing my hand a little tighter as he twirls me around, the white skirt of my dress flaring around my legs.
"Did you hear about what my mother did?" I ask as I right myself, trying to step in time with him.
The worst part of this whole affair has been relearning how to dance. I've spent the last couple of days trying to perfect a skill I once had that I no longer do.
"Yes, and I've spoken to her." A shadow passes over his face. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. She shouldn't even mention dark magic around you, let alone doing this."
"It's okay; I'm not going to break." I say that, although I'm not entirely sure I mean it.
Every day feels less like I can handle this life. It's supposed to get better. Instead, I'm worrying about Emerick, Vade, and my parents.
The more I seem to learn about myself, the more I fear becoming that again.
"I know that," Roel says with a sigh. "But it's okay not to be okay."
I smile tightly, rolling the tension from my shoulders as the music shifts in tempo. Mother has hired live musicians, their talents remarkable, even if the music is a little dull.
Can I get a drink? I ask, slipping my hands from his.
He sweeps back, bowing his head. "Go right ahead."
Hurrying off the dance floor, I head for the refreshments table. As I reach for a tiny glass cup to fill, I realise the drink of choice is blood red to match the theme. My stomach turns uneasily as I rethink my decision.
"He declined my dance," a girl complains from across the table, speaking to her friend flanking her.
"It's because he can't be seen dancing with a beautiful woman like you. It would make the Princess look bad," her friend hisses lowly, playing with the glistening diamond bracelet on her wrist.
Neither bothers looking up to see I'm standing almost opposite them. They are instead staring with rapt attention toward the dance floor.
I follow their gaze, seeing Vade as he continues to dance.
"I suppose..." The girl sounds unsure.
I blink, a little confused until I realise she's attracted to Vade, my fiancé. She asked him to dance, and he rejected her. It feels criminal stumbling into their conversation, but I don't want to step away.
"Trust me, he wants you," the friend insists, trying to wipe the pout off the girl's face. "He hasn't been able to get his eyes off you all night."
When I look back at Vade, he's staring me down, those silvery eyes glaring into my soul.
I hastily pluck a glass from a passing server, pleased that at least it's not red but beige in colouring and sparkling with bubbles. I drain the entire thing, trying not to make it evident that I've been checking Vade out.
"I need to wait till he's alone so I can ask him for a private talk," the girl continues. "I won't be satisfied until I'm in his room tonight."
I cough, the bubbles burning my throat.
The girls look at me with widening eyes. They exchange mortified glances before retreating away, realising I've overheard their conversation.
"Let's get out of here," one mutters, and they vanish into the crowd.
Wiping my mouth, I almost laugh. Little does she know Vade and I's engagement isn't exactly conventional. If she decides to ask to join him in bed tonight, he may say yes.
I refuse to let that happen.
Grabbing my skirt, I stalk across the dance floor. Thankfully the song is fading, rolling into another. Vade has dropped his hands on his dance partner, who says more words to him before she spots me approaching, backing off.
Vade turns, his breathing hitching upon seeing me.
I hold my hand out, squaring my shoulders. "Will you dance with me?"
"Of course."
He slides his hand into mine, the feeling of his skin on mine sending shivers over my skin. When I touch him, I feel something I've never felt before, and yet, it feels so wonderful, so oddly familiar.
His other hand smooths around my waist, pulling me against him until we almost brush. A couple of inches apart is necessary for social decorum, according to my dance teacher, which seems silly, considering Vade and I are to be married and are supposedly madly in love.
I can feel my face redden beneath my makeup, shamefully enjoying having him touching me for an extended period, having him in my proximity.
"You look beautiful tonight," he murmurs lowly, dipping his head down so I can hear.
I can't help my smile. Those words are meant just for me, which means he isn't saying it for all the prying eyes that shift closer, wanting to see what passes between the future Prince and Princess.
"Thank you." I clear my throat. Gah, I'm so awkward.
"I saw you speaking to my father. What did he say?" Vade asks.
My mouth settles into a grim line. "I'm sorry to say this, but he's terrible. He isn't sorry about announcing I'm alive to the world."
"It doesn't surprise me at all that he did that," Vade shakes his head, those deep brown curls brushing against his brow. "He and I have never had a good relationship."
I figured as much, although it's hard to know anything for sure when Vade divulges so little to me.
"Oh...really?"
"The reason for that is not very ballroom appropriate," he says, his tone a little cold. I know that means to back off, not to push it.
I study his face, the hard lines, the cool eyes. His mind is so fascinating, so unreachable. This man is to be my husband, and I know almost nothing about him.
"You know what also isn't ballroom appropriate?" I bring up.
"What?" He sounds a little apprehensive.
"That girl on the other side of the room is planning on seducing you tonight." I nod to where she stands with her friend.
They are right near the exit, staring us down. They look ready to bolt in case I make a fuss. I'm not going to bother. If Vade decides he wants her, I won't stand in the way.
We turn so he can get a good look at her.
"Seriously?" His brow raises.
"Seriously."
"She asked me to dance, but I'm not interested in her," he tells me sternly, disinterest dripping from every word.
My eyes narrow. I can't tell if he's being truthful or if he's saying that to appease me. I suppose he has no reason to do the latter.
"Why not? She's beautiful."
"I'm marrying you." He says it like it's obvious like I would be a fool to think any differently.
"But you don't want me," I remind him. He frowns at that. "It would be unfair of me to expect you to be without sex because you're stuck with me."
His grip on my waist tightens, and the gap closes between us. My chest presses against his, my gasp catching in my throat.
"Who says we won't ever have sex?" He asks softly, darkly.
I nearly stumble over my heeled feet, heat spreading over my skin from just a few words alone. He doesn't once break his stare, and for once, it conveys an emotion other than boredom or disinterest.
Desire. I see it.
"I...ah..." I stutter.
"By marrying you, I am promising myself to you in every possible way. I'm not going to be with anyone else," he says, brushing the hair back from my face so tenderly I can hear someone swoon from next to us.
It pops into my head for a moment that he's being so sweet for the show; however, he speaks so quietly, the words almost lost in the music.
These words are just for me.
"I don't deserve that," I say.
"Yes, you do," he insists. "It's not some great sacrifice I'm making."
"But it is..."
"I don't see it that way."
I scan his face, waiting for this to become some sick joke. All I see is an earnest man who is true to his word.
The urge to reach and kiss him is overwhelming; however, his words cut me off.
"Our wedding is soon. Are you prepared?"
"I guess so." I'm not ready for the spectacle, but I'm prepared to have this engagement behind us. There is a new life for me somewhere, and I want to start living.
I need to shed off my past and how everyone perceives me so I can move on.
"I'm ready to marry you," he says gently, his fingers tracing slowly down my back.
"I'm ready to marry you too."
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