Hello reader,
As I assemble the next piece of Tear the Sky, I would like to give this novel a proper goodbye. It's weird coming back to do this though. It's essentially the encore no one asked for. However, it's really for me. I need a place to finally let what happened in this book rest... at least, for now. Thank you C, for inspiring me to do this.
It was so much fun growing this world. And the crazy part is, I might not have ever known how rewarding it is to finish a book had I not sat down and committed to it. It's on my spirit to tell you to do that. The lovely idea you have that you've been sitting on? Finish it. If you've already started it and you're unsure? Finish it.
While writing Tear the Sky, I learned something about myself. I love to see people following their dreams. I love to see personal growth and the little victories. I love being able to help. In turn, my characters were just characters until I really got into the thick of the plot. I realized that my words had power in narrative form, that what I've made can share smaller messages within a larger one.
As I've gotten older and matured (if only a bit), I learned a few key ideas.
Nearly all of them revolve around how important it is to love yourself--what that entails, how it's done, why it's done. And the best part is they blended seamlessly into the journey of each character.
That's the category I'll do first.
CHARACTERS
I. Grey is a mixture of everything. First, I wanted to make her vulnerable. Honest. I wanted her to feel the things she felt shamelessly. She reacted without thinking, she was unsure of her identity, and she ran from her past. Even with this, I wanted her to recover. I can't count the amount of times this girl cried but each time, she strengthened her resolve. She never gave up. She forgave. I guess what I wanted to convey is that one doesn't always need to be cold or distant. It is okay to open the heart, and it's okay to be hurt. That's a part of life. It's also a part of getting stronger.
Resiliency is her key tenement.
When you fall, get back up.
II. Amelia is one of my favorite characters because she's as fierce as she is brutally honest. She doesn't let anyone mess with her friends, and she's ready to stick by them no matter what. She was a light for Grey, someone that was willing to stop and reach out a hand to someone in need. And honestly, she deserves her own adventure. I'm proud of her because she took pride in letting others know she was there, and she was ready to help.
She is loyalty.
Let those you love know that you love them.
III. Luca/Nicolai--honestly, enough said. One hell of a guardian and friend. Whether Nicolai was a cat, man, or kid, he held a huge leadership role. I also need to mention he got messed up nearly every time they engaged in battle and I'm so sorry Nico for doing that to you (lmfao). But, he held the role of protector. No matter how big or small, he gave his everything to keep Anaphiel and Grey safe.
Fun fact: He's based on two Sailor Moon characters.
Luna
and Peruru
To my true Sailor Moon stans, you deserve the world.
Anyway, Nico has my heart and soul and that's that on that.
His lesson is effort.
Give everything you have to everything you do.
IV. Variel/Vanity, the shimmering angel queen. Every time I went to write her, her character sort of wrote itself. She was always meant to be gracious and kind. She was far more understanding than I initially thought. When Variel got her body back, she was supposed to be morally grey and extremely sassy in the outlines. But truly, it just wasn't her cup of tea. What she did do was subtly flaunt her power. She would openly talk about it, and not in a way that was arrogant but one that was certain.
Because it's okay to be confident in who you are. It's okay to know your strengths. So often do we discount ourselves and in turn, quiet our inner thoughts or opinions.
Variel is power beyond measure, which is in each of us if we only believe.
Be confident in yourself, and handle your challenges with grace and the certainty that you will succeed.
V. Seokjin took care of Anaphiel selflessly. He definitely had his hiccups along the way like almost killing Grey at least twice (lol) but looking past that, he was one of her main supporters alongside Nico and Jungkook. I'm also kinda annoyed he was asleep for a nice portion of the story because I totally would've given him more screen time.
Jin also knew the risk of letting Grey in, and he did anyway. He totally stands for taking a risk.
Taking a leap of faith goes a long way.
VI. Jimin urged Grey not to be so uptight, but to embrace the aspects of herself she wasn't quite comfortable with yet. The wedding scene is still one of my fave things btw. But my favorite part about writing him was describing that full body shaking thing he does when he giggles. Like it's the most adorable thing in the world. Plus, we can't forget how he went Dark and somehow managed to come back. Maybe I'll write about that one day.
Jimin stands for redemption.
Your past doesn't define you.
VII. Hoseok was Rin's from the beginning and having them together is my bread and butter. Hoseok was also afraid of going against the demons, but he faced his fear and came out ready to make some of the most heroic moves during the final war. Lastly, he was afraid of confronting Rin, but he did that too. Hoseok is bravery.
Face your fears. Take it one step at a time.
VIII. Namjoon is the group's backbone, but besides his intelligence, he was also thoughtful towards Grey and Amelia. He made sure they were comfortable, and he was actually super self-aware when it came to how hard he could push Grey. Kudos to a character with some common sense. Joon is compassion.
Be considerate of those around you. You might make someone else's day that much sweeter.
IX. Taehyung let himself be wild and it was such a good time. He and Grey had a lot of freaking chemistry, but if he would have won in the end it actually would have changed the entire course of the story. I originally planned for him to be turned Dark instead of Jin, but if he would have done that, it would have been game over. It would have been too easy to guess the winner--which would have been him by a landslide.
Nevertheless, the Beast was so observant and knew all of the little things that helped Grey and his brothers.
The little things matter too.
X. Yoongi... don't even get me started. At one point in the book, all the signs started to point to him. I started to point to him as the one she'd pick. While it would have been romantic, it wasn't quite right. It would have been too perfect. Yoongi was probably one of the most realistic characters to me, and that's because his flaw got in the way of something he wanted. That literally happens to us as real people all the time and like him, we learned from it later.
Writing about him finding his way was so freaking awesome to do. He released himself from past guilt and resentment for what he'd become. He forgave himself.
Yoongi is discovery. Grey said it best...
It's not about how long it takes, it's about finding yourself. It's about the journey.
XI. Jungkook my bABY BOY. The most sincere, the most passionate, the most everything. I'll say it until I die LONG LIVE GREYKOOK. Writing him was something completely new for me. I'm so used to characters that are all up in your face with snarky comments or sass. But, he wasn't like that at all. He was soft, kind, and gentle. His presence was subtle yet powerful. It was always between him and Jin for the win during the final battle. Regardless, Grey fell in love with both of them and so did I. So, as an author that freaking spoils her characters, Grey got both.
Jungkook stands for kindness.
There is power in silence, power in kindness, and power in loving others.
:::
PLOT
- This is my very first fanfiction and my very first completed book. It's a compilation of first drafts too because I never had the time to go back and edit.
- This story literally forced me to think of BTS day in and day out for six months straight for the sake of plotting, character outlining, and world building. I don't think my brain can ever recover from the amount of videos, music, or memes I've seen and crammed into my head. So RIP to my mental state.
- Rowan is a placeholder name that got stuck. I couldn't think of anything else at the time. On the other hand, Vanity's name just popped into my head and I knew it was the right one. Same for Luca. Luca's name just fit her profile instantly.
- The inspiration for Anaphiel came from the idea for a Faerie Court (aka Seelie Court). I was going to make them Fae, but then I imagined them as darker and twisted which made them an Unseelie Court. Still, the idea of faeries hadn't drawn me in. So, for each member of my dark court, I thought of a special monstrous talent. The wolf, the vampire, the shadow manipulator, the mastermind, the teleporter/wraith, the ninja assassin, and the man with dark wings. I thought of code names later, and that's where Namjoon's chess pieces came from. But, how could all these dark creatures band together? In what kind of world? So I united them as fallen angels, and I gave them a few kings and queen to serve. They are still a Court, after all.
- A lot of inspiration came from Sailor Moon, The Mortal Instruments, A Court of Thorns and Roses, To the Edge of the Sky, and some other stuff I can't quite remember at the moment. It was a tiny game of pulling what I liked and twisting it just a bit to make it my own.
- In my chapter outlines, there are "steamy" scenes with each of the guys (yes, they're marked as "steamy"). Unfortunately, I couldn't even fit them in because Grey decided to start cutting people off. Her and Tae were supposed to party at a club while in Europe, her and JK had a scene in the pool, she and Yoongi were gonna get cozy in a tight space, and Jimin had the potential to actually go all the way with her (But I was advised against it bc if she didn't pick him that'd be so scandalous)
- Solis was actually supposed to be an angel higher than the three Scepters that would possess Grey and help her defeat a greater evil. I also debated if Grey would be a descendant of this angelic Solis. Additionally, to assemble the sword she was supposed to need an angel wing... but no one has angel wings anymore so that wouldn't have worked with the plot.
- It took two and a half days to plan Tear the Sky.
:::
FAREWELL
I was afraid. To this day, I'm still afraid at times. When it comes to writing, something so intimate and important to me, sometimes I assume the worst. I doubt myself, saying things like: Maybe this won't be good enough. No one is going to care anyway.
The worst one was: you'll never reach your dream of being an author.
But, I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things back then.
I can become an author one day. I can choose to be positive rather than negative. I can commit and finish a freaking book. And though I'm running out of time, I will try and I will fight every single day for my dreams. For me.
I will love me the way I deserve to be loved. Even when the process gets tough or arduous, even when I may not think I'm worthy, even when those around me try to take the joy I have.
I will fight for me.
And you should fight for you. I pray with all my heart and all of my spirit that you also find the strength and courage if you haven't yet to stick up for you and your dreams. I pray that you blossom and grow, and that light seeps into every corner of your life. I pray that you smile not for any specific reason, but simply because you can.
Thank you for joining me from start to finish.
Tear the Sky may continue with a prequel series. Of course, I'd need the time, the brainstorming, and the writing spark to get me there. But I do have ideas. You may see these characters again later on in the year.
Until then, the Tear the Sky One Shot series will be named and announced at a later date when I figure out its specific contents. Plan to hear more about it near the beginning of February.
Thank you for reading this, for reading the story too. I appreciate you so much.
With love,
M
"I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well."
- William Shakespeare