The train to Paris would likely take six hours during it's commute, which gave Grey enough time to unwind and get focused on the next part of her mission. She carried the First King's journal around like a college student carrying textbooks. It blended in somewhat with Amelia's travel books, China Rich Girlfriend and Fifty Shades Freed. Amelia, across from her, shuffled through a fashion magazine she picked up before hopping aboard. Vanity, to the left of her, listened to a podcast through her earbuds.
Grey finished off the last of her chocolate mousse cake, licking the frosting from her fork and sitting back in her spacious seat.
"I didn't know I needed cake in my life," Grey said. She grabbed her water bottle and took a swig.
"Forget cake," Amelia whispered, checking on Vanity before continuing, "your many boyfriends almost ripped my head off after you left this morning. Don't ever pull a marriage stunt again."
"Namjoon would have protected you," Grey cooed.
Amelia grimaced. "It's not that easy. I'm not walking around with the million dollar heart."
Grey's eyebrows raised at the taunt. Amelia smiled sarcastically. Grey said, "What does a pure heart have to do with anything?"
"He doesn't like me, Grey. There's nothing I can offer him."
Vanity removed an earbud. "If you think Namjoon is that shallow, you're terribly wrong."
"Talking around you is always a mistake," Amelia said, rubbing her temples.
"See?" Grey pointed at Vanity. "Terribly wrong. He loves spending time with you."
"I'm probably a great distraction while we travel from place to place." Amelia huffed, propping her head onto her hand.
Vanity took out her other earbud, wrapping the cord around her new phone. "Be careful, Amelia. Your insecurities are showing."
"Excuse me?" Amelia scoffed.
"Hey, Vanity," Grey said, nudging her shoulder. She lowered her voice, jerking her head towards a man at the bar. He was lost in book, dusky blond hair falling into his eyes. He occasionally sipped from the whiskey in his glass and settled back into the pages, but not without a courteous glance towards the Queen of the Eternal Realm. "I think he's checking you out."
Amelia snuck a glance over her chair and whirled back around. "Oh, that smile of his isn't from what he's reading."
Grey smirked. "I think you should go talk to him."
Vanity blinked several times, flustered. "I couldn't possibly."
"Why not?" Amelia challenged. "You nervous?"
"It's not that," Vanity whispered, stealing a peek at the mystery man again. "He's not my type."
Amelia crossed her arms. "Be careful, Vanity. Your insecurities are showing."
Vanity offered Amelia a regal smile. "No, Amelia, I am just far too powerful for that man."
Grey would have to console Amelia's cracked ego a tad later. Until then, she looked at Vanity. "Still, you should go talk to him. You're surrounded by us all the time. Try making a new friend."
The Queen sighed, standing from her seat and sauntering to the seat next to him. The conversation seemed to begin before she even arrived. Grey smiled at her work, finding a stunned Amelia still sitting across from her.
"I'm going to get some sleep," Grey said.
Amelia pouted. "You're leaving me?"
"Yeah, and I kind of agree with Her Majesty." Grey grabbed her coat from the armrest and assembled her books. "Doesn't matter how pure your heart is, he's given you more attention than he's ever given me. And you're alive after knowing what you know, just like I am. Go for it."
Amelia watched her disappear into another car.
:::
Grey changed into more comfortable clothes before sleeping. Combined with the fresh sheets, she was in absolute heaven, even on a train. The night sky rolled by through her and Amelia's large window. She checked out the stars one last time before fluffing her pillow and laying down. Then, she closed her eyes, seeing Seokjin's face.
She bolted upright, the memory flooding her head. The kisses, the warnings, the visit as a whole. He crashed her wedding and left like an accomplished thief.
The next time you see me, run. I will not be able to stop myself from hurting you.
She balled up the sheets in her fists at the sound of his voice.
I will never be yours. I am Rowan's, and I am Darkness. There is nothing you can do to change that.
"Jin," she said aloud, scurrying out of her bed and sliding into slippers. She burst from her cabin and bustled down the hall until she reached a familiar door. She knocked quickly, tapping her foot while she waited. It slid open easily, Yoongi rubbing his eyes and staring her down.
"Hi, Grey."
A bitter taste settled in her mouth, but she resisted the urge to be distasteful at this time of evening.
"Hello, Yoongi. Is your roommate in there?"
"I'm right here," Jungkook said, coming to the door. Yoongi moved out of the way, eyeing both of them warily. The youngest wore a thin white tee shirt and baggy pajama pants, his ruffled hair making him look like he and Yoongi were in the middle of a pillow fight. "You need me?"
She nodded. He sidestepped, giving her entrance to their miniature room. Grey swallowed, but stepped inside. She positioned herself awkwardly in front of the door, the two men she kind of sort of ended things with staring at her like she had a third eye. Could this be any more awkward?
Throwing her own feelings aside, she said, "Jin!"
Jungkook's jaw dropped. Yoongi tensed.
"What about him?" The Wraith asked.
"I saw him," she said.
Jungkook furrowed his brows. "Where?"
"At the wedding."
Yoongi grimaced. "Please don't talk about the wedding." Jungkook seemed to be in silent agreement by the way he pursed his lips to one side of his face.
"Okay," Grey said, clasping her hands behind her back, "but he was there. In my bridal suite."
Yoongi looked at the ceiling. "He's awake then. How did he look? How was he acting?"
Grey told them the relevant things like his warnings. She withheld what they did.
Yoongi swore, Jungkook groaned and laid on his bed when she finished.
The bodyguard sat up. "Rowan turned him Dark?"
"That's what I think," Grey said.
"He wouldn't say he was Rowan's if he was still ours. We need to think of a plan." Yoongi yawned.
"A plan between the three of us or what?"
Jungkook's lips flattened. "It's sticky. If we tell the others then everything gets complicated."
"I think we need them," Grey said.
Yoongi scowled. "Are you sure? This news could change everything."
"I know but bear with me," the girl said, "think of their assets. Jimin has been Dark before, he would know what it's like. Jungkook, you know him better than anyone else from being around him. Yoongi, you would be able to detain him. So would Taehyung. Hoseok can always have an eye on him from above. Namjoon can devise a thorough plan. Luca and Vanity would know what to do as well. We have an entire squad we can use."
Yoongi understood, but he needed her to think past their powers and into their foundation. "They're great, but we all have one flaw in common. We like him too much."
"It's a weakness, but it's a strength. Jungkook, what do you think?"
The Assassin clenched his jaw, then relaxed. "We should tell them."
"I'm not going to stop you," Yoongi said. "We're putting a lot of people at risk though."
"I think Jin is worth it," she said finally, leaving their room to knock on other doors nearby.
:::
Anaphiel, their sovereigns, and their human counterparts gathered in one of the lounge cars near the front of the train. Grey explained what she seen and heard, again skipping out on the details that weren't necessary to the story. While she spoke, a finger seemed to caress her mind, dig through her memories. Grey glared at Vanity, warning the Queen against digging through her skull, against seeing the private events she did not need to see. But Vanity became more preoccupied with the entirety of the memory than Grey's reservation. The immortal woman's eyes widened measurably, a knowing glance pinned back on Grey.
"The point is," Grey emphasized, ignoring how butterflies soared through her ribs, "Jin is Dark and I think he's on the move."
"Poor Seokjin," Luca meowed, her ears sagging. Namjoon drew her closer to his lap.
"We never should have taken our eyes off him," Hoseok said.
"But since we did we got a piece of Gatekeeper. It was the principle of leaving him that made us go," Jimin countered.
Namjoon said, "That's what Rowan wants. He wants us to choose our priorities."
"Jin or the sword," Vanity echoed.
"Why does everything have to be a damn decision?" Taehyung snarled.
"Solis' philosophy as an original demon is to prove that mortals and even immortals can be responsible for their own downfall. There is no perfect individual, only chaos and roads that lead us to our own demise. He provides ultimatums that seem inescapable," Luca explained.
"Then what's our choice?" Jungkook asked.
Silence settled over the cabin, light from the full moon filling in the cracks.
"Why can't we do both?" Grey said.
"I'm thinking the same thing," Amelia added.
"Doing both accomplishes his divide and conquer strategy. Rowan can pick us off one by one because we've split up." Namjoon's eyes were puffy as he glanced at Amelia. She looked at him longer than he looked at her.
Grey said, "If he caught you guys, then what?"
"He kills us or he Darkens us. No in between."
"Damnit," Grey punched her thigh. "But we can't just leave Jin out here alone!"
"He would live," Hoseok admitted sadly. "The Blood Moon wouldn't take him since he's already chosen a side. He would just stay on Earth after this is over. And if we have the sword, it might be easier to change him back."
"He didn't choose a side," Grey snapped. "He was forced and we need to get him back."
Namjoon leaned his elbows onto his legs. "How do you know he was forced?"
"I just do! Jin would never turn on us. He cares about us too much!" Grey yelled. The others flinched.
Amelia warily addressed her. "Grey, you're getting really worked up about this. Maybe you should calm down. It affects the others too."
Grey balled her fists at her sides, irritation taking root in her reply. "Every second I wait he gets further away."
"It is not your lone responsibility to retrieve him," Luca said.
"Yes, it is!" Grey stomped her foot. "This is my fault! I did this to him!"
Bewildered, the entire group exchanged glances. Luca tried again. "Rowan's actions are not a reflection of you. You were not involved--"
"I was, okay?" She squatted, hands wringing near her lap. "I made the wrong choice in New York. He told me there would be a consequence for picking the laurel instead of going home and I still picked the laurel. I know he made Jin Dark because of me." Her voice broke. "I know he did."
"You told us nothing happened at the statue! You lied?" Namjoon stood.
Jungkook's voice was firm. "With all due respect, not right now, Namjoon."
The leader hissed a string of curses under his breath, putting his hands over his head.
Luca sat on her hind legs. "He offered you a way back to your realm?"
Amelia wrapped an arm around Grey's shoulders, resting her head near Grey's neck.
"Yes."
Taehyung spoke softly. "Why are you still here?"
"If I left, you guys wouldn't have ever gotten home," she said.
Amelia turned her hold into a hug. Jimin shook his head. Jungkook sat near her like a personal watchdog.
"You are too pure for this realm," Vanity said.
Grey said, "I need to get Jin back. Please. I need help."
"Thinking strategically, if we all get Jin Rowan will definitely move the next piece," Yoongi said.
"If we get the sword, he could kill Jin out of spite," said Taehyung.
"But if we get both," said Amelia, "like Grey suggested, you increase your chances of getting at least one."
"Rowan can send Jin to one of our search parties and insert himself at the next artifact's location. We'd be sitting ducks," Hoseok argued.
"It comes down to our ability to weather his attacks." Luca scratched behind her ear. "Hellfire and Jin's shadows are a lethal combination even when not used together."
"I will weather whatever it takes," Grey said.
"Grey," Luca warned. "Please be rational."
"This man opens him home to us, his arms, the little bit of heart he has left without saving any for himself. He would do anything for us, and I would do the same for him. I would do the same for any of you. That's it. No excuses." Grey stood upright with Amelia still on her shoulders. Amelia slipped off, her wide eyes awestruck. Grey ignored her, greedily satisfied with how this felt. "You are free to feel differently, but I am not compromising."
Vanity covered her mouth. Yoongi's brows furrowed. Jimin nudged Jungkook with an elbow, both young men gawking at Grey. Taehyung shook his head subtly, drawing one hand across his throat in some sort of motion that must have meant stop. But she couldn't. It continued to spew until she got so into it she began talking with her hands too.
"Going for him is a risk and Rowan is intentional with every move he makes. He plays his cards right, but if he plans to stop me he's going to have to beat me fair and square because I'm never giving up."
Grey put her hands on her hips. "Why are you all staring at me?"
"Is she?" Namjoon pointed, staring down at Luca.
"My God," Luca breathed.
"Someone speak up!" Grey commanded.
"You're glowing," Yoongi said.
What?
Taehyung huffed, laying back on his chair. "I tried to tell you to stop."
Grey frowned, checking her arms and legs--and shrieked. Light from a thousand fireflies illuminated her layers of skin. Like one large spotlight had turned on from her center and proceeded to bathe her insides with a warm, amber glow. The issue was that she did not feel herself ignite or even flicker, she felt passion accumulate in a buildup that begged to be released. Even now, standing here shimmering, she almost felt normal.
"What... is this?" Grey flexed her fingers, bent her knees, straightened. She moved around, trying to shut it off. She slapped her forearm and went as far to pinch her thigh. The light intensified. "Make it stop!"
Luca, dazzled by the display, asked, "When did you unlock your heavenly powers?"
Heavenly powers? These?
"I haven't seen anything like this in years," Vanity remarked.
Grey shouted, "Someone help me!"
A cloud of black mist manifested at her side, a cold hand wrapping about her wrist. She despised that cold, shivered at how it tried to steal her heat. She dared to snatch her hand away, but didn't need to. The spot he contacted sizzled. Yoongi sucked in a sharp breath, grasping the skin that touched hers.
"She burned me!" He keeled over, his palm exposed to the others watching. Angry marks stained his skin a furious pink.
The Queen glanced at the cat, "Nicolai, have you ever seen anything like it?"
The kitten was quiet, Grey's glow reflected in her irises.
"All you need to do is relax," Taehyung said, blue eyes dousing her flame in cool water, "It should wear off after a minute or two."
"What happened?" she asked Taehyung. Grey flipped the hood of her sweatshirt halfway over her face. "Also if you could all stop ogling me, it would really help."
Lapping up fleeting glances, each member in their meeting feigned interest in something else on the train. All besides the Beast.
"Power, in an excessive amount, has a mind of its own, and it always need an outlet. So, it changes appearance. Instead of energy bursts... you'll... do this," Taehyung explained. He tapped a finger on his lips and shrugged. "The cat taught me that," he added.
"I did," Luca interrupted, gathering the courage to sneak a glimpse. "The colors of Taehyung's eyes changed for a while. Next, random transformations outside of his control. He's still in the phase of energy boosts now. It is still subject to change, just as you are too, Grey."
Excessive amounts of power, hm?
Grey shook her head. "You're saying I'm powerful?"
"Anyone who unlocks heavenly abilities is gifted. This, however, is new phenomena altogether."
Amelia gasped. "Look! It's calming down!"
As one, every head previously turned swiveled to observe Grey's miniature sunset. The light dimmed and softened until it vanished, her tan complexion unchanged.
Grey examined her hands again, placing one on Yoongi's arm. The Wraith flinched, stumbling backwards.
"What the hell?" Yoongi barked.
Grey eagerly turned to the others. "It didn't burn!"
"But it could have! And you just," he couldn't even finish his sentence due to shock.
Taehyung chuckled. "Do it again." Grey ignored him.
"I will look into this," Luca said. "Until then, Namjoon and I will devise a plan that best suits our group in Paris."
"It should include Jin's delivery," Grey said.
Luca nodded curtly. "Whatever you do, try not to get riled up. This is nothing too abnormal, and unless it develops there is no reason to panic." The cat watched Namjoon sit down and crawled into his lap. The others yawned or stretched, slugging from their spots to the rest of the car. It seemed like they knew what they were doing. Grey had to trust them, and she normally did. But for some reason just letting them work didn't satisfy her. They were missing a sense of urgency.
Amelia clicked her tongue while she strolled towards her best friend. "I'm kind of scared to touch you."
Grey smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I think I'm one of them now."
"Oh come on," Amelia said, playfully hitting her shoulder, "who's going to represent the humans in this group?"
"You've got it," said Grey. "And you're handling it a lot better than I thought you would."
"It just hasn't really hit me yet that you're a glowstick. Give it time." Amelia clapped her on the back and walked away.
:::
Hoseok trudged past Jungkook's open room. He stopped when he noticed the boy sitting cross-legged and holding his pillow to his chest. The Raven stood in the doorway, leaning his head against the sill.
"You alright?"
"Why are you the one that always finds me?" Jungkook stared at the wall ahead.
Hoseok shrugged. "There must be a reason."
"Or you're just following me."
"That, too," Hoseok admitted.
The bodyguard finally looked at him. "Why?"
"You're not yourself. I want to make sure you're okay," Hoseok said. He squatted in the doorframe, lowering until he sat with his back against the frame.
Jungkook pondered giving him an excuse. It would make Hoseok leave and he could go back to zoning out. But he supposed there was nothing wrong with telling the Raven the truth, especially since he was the first to discover on his own.
"It's just difficult," the Assassin said, nuzzling his chin into his pillow. "I can't just let her go like that."
Hoseok concealed his smile, already knowing they would get here. "Then what are you going to do?"
"I don't know if I should do anything. She told me what she wanted. I-," he sighed heavily, "I shouldn't complicate things."
"But you also can't lie to yourself, Kook."
Jungkook turned to observe the passing night sky. "I won't."
"Don't lie to her either," Hoseok said, getting up and closing the sliding door.
:::
Min Yoongi felt like he spiraled down a hole. A white hot awareness swelled and pulsed through his veins, and it struck when he tried to feel his music, when he ate, and before he rested his head at night. Guilt, but transfused with something a tad deeper. Sorrow, more like. And it cut him apart when she came to knock on his door earlier.
She looked at him, but she did not quite see. Like he was made of glass, she peered right through him to the bodyguard, and as he stepped out of the way he faded into the background. It seemed like after their argument, she not only closed her heart, she closed her eyes. Had she left them open, she'd have glimpsed the truth--a truth that the same girl recognized in a flowing blue dress months ago.
He called for help. This task, this desire to tell her how he felt...
He simply couldn't. If he could describe it, it felt like his face was a mask and his body wasn't his and the real him beat against this exterior but could not break it. Trapped, inside his own shell. Entangled in ice and thorns, unable to break through to warmth or the meadows beyond.
But tonight, she also touched him. The first time she made contact with him in a while. Touching her was like feeling spring thaw through winter. Where she touched, flowers grew. It cracked that defensive wall he'd built, and now that there was hole in his armor, he would need to break out. Grab spring for dear life and hope it didn't wither from the bitter chill that surrounded him.
Thankfully, Grey was not in her room when he found her. Instead, she had chosen a seat by the bar. The First King's journal was in the crook of her elbow until she put it onto the tabletop. Before she could open it, he winnowed into the seat next to her in a flurry of black mist.
She didn't startle, but she tensed, training her eyes on the book.
Yoongi said, "Look at me."
She slowly brought her gaze to his. Seven hells, she was breathtaking.
"Yoongi, what do--"
"Look at me."
She frowned. "I am."
"Really look, Grey. Pay attention."
Her expression softened measurably, but distaste lingered in the soft pout of her lips. "What am I paying attention to?"
He continued to stare, to memorize the plains of her face. "I'm sitting right here, but I feel I'm one thousand miles away. Do you feel that too?"
She said nothing.
"I pushed you away, and you let me," he said.
"What was I supposed to do?" Grey blinked, pain surfacing in her eyes. He was making her uncomfortable. But if they couldn't bridge the gap now, it wouldn't be any easier in the future. Her eyebrows furrowed. "Anything I would have tried wouldn't have mattered."
He shook his head. "Everything you did mattered. It still does."
Grey wiped her eyes, tilting her head towards the ceiling. "Why are we talking about this?"
"Because if we don't, I lose the person that came back for me. Do you remember when you told me that? You gave me a blue rose and yelled at me in the ball's garden. You made me take it."
She looked down at her lap. He continued, "Grey, please. I know I've hurt you, and I only wish to apologize."
He stood awkwardly, as though he were unsure of what to say or do next. Truly, there wasn't anything left. He lowered his voice, unable to look at her any longer.
"I am not asking you to trust me. I am asking for your forgiveness, and if you don't want to give it to me, just say the word."
The Wraith was being selfish, but he kissed her cheek. She let him, but she did not acknowledge him as he did so. Before leaving, he whispered in her ear.
"If you will, give me another chance to serve you. Only you."
:::
(A/N) Delightful reader,
Old habits die hard. Lol. Ships with holes dare to repair themselves?
We'll see if it matters.
Also if you need clarification on Grey's glow: yes, they're her heavenly powers acting up. If anything unholy/Fallen touches her while she's lit up, it will burn them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! I can't prepare you for the Paris events, but hold on to your wigs beforehand. It's about to get steamy in here (and yes, this is a warning that chemistry may or may not explode between Grey and certain people. I'll try to keep it PG-13, but no promises.)
My graduate exam and my birthday (and Jin's bday) are on Tuesday!!! Besides that, there's also like three papers I have to write and three exams to take. Thanks to you guys and your study wishes, I'm preparing way better than before!
Next release: maybe 12/2, December 2nd? (That's pretty soon, I know. My treat to you.)
HOWEVER, if I can't finish my philosophy paper, then catch the update on December 3rd.
With love,
M