The woman with amber eyes knelt in a field of ivory flowers. Her long hair swayed in a breeze scented with the beginning tides of Spring. The sun was a pale dot in a paler sky and it did not warm Grey's skin.
Grey's bare feet squished into soil, cool mud seeping between her toes. Petals, stems, and leaves tickled her ankles as she finished wandering the endless plain and approached the back of the ghost that now resided in her dreams.
"You're troubled," she said.
Grey smiled coldly. "You can leave now. I'm done with the supernatural. I'm done with immortals. I'm done with the magic."
"Are you?" The ghost raised an eyebrow as she gracefully peered over a shoulder.
"You've been here every time I've fallen asleep. How many times do I have to tell you?"
"Until you mean it."
"I do mean it! They humiliated me," Grey crossed her arms. "I don't think there was any other way to make me look more idiotic than that."
The ghost frowned. "You cannot trust every word that woman says."
"But I can trust you and you haven't even given me a name? I don't see the difference between you and them."
"Grey," the woman stood, disappointment clear in her ethereal expression, "You're speaking from anger. This is not who you are."
Grey's fists balled at her sides. "I have a right to everything I'm feeling. Don't tell me what to feel."
"Harden your heart and you'll never be free."
Grey charged towards the spirit, her impatience nearly boiling over. "Who are you? Why are you still in my damn head?"
"Do not let such negativity plant it's seed in your soul--,"
"You. Are. In. My. Head. Why?"
The ghost blinked indifferently, staring at Grey like she was a brick wall that her warnings were wasted on. She took a deep breath, the greenery in the fields seeming to inhale and exhale with her.
"I am attached to you."
Good grief, Grey thought. She laughed at herself. Laughed at the idea that everything would absolutely stop after she left that ballroom. The human girl pinched the bridge of her nose.
The woman continued. "My body has been taken. I found shelter here."
"Excuse me. Your body was taken and you moved into mine for the free real estate?"
"There is a lot to explain and not enough time before you wake up."
Grey scoffed. "I'm sure I've got every sleepless night to hear about it."
"Away from my own body I grow weaker by the day. Our time together is limited."
"Why pick me?"
At this, the ghost grinned. "You're the perfect one to do what needs to be done. I need you and you need me. We are both pieces of the endgame, integral to success."
Grey could feel her body stir, feel her connection to this moment being severed by the threat of opening her eyes. "First of all, I'm done with being in demand. Second, my body is off limits. If you want me to work with you, show me something."
The phantom was fading in and out of view. "Show you what?"
"Impress me," Grey said. "Show me that you're worth it."
She woke up on her back, eyes drawn to the swirling blades of the ceiling fan. Stripes of rosy afternoon sunlight painted her ceiling through the blinds. The soft breeze rustled her curls. She turned over, pulling her sheets over her face. Wind reminded her of being in the clouds with a warm neck pressed to her cheek, reminded her of a rooftop riddled with neon lights and stars.
It made her sick.
So, she embraced the stifling body heat she'd maintained underneath the covers. It was hard to breathe and in turn hard to sink into solitude like she so desired. Her thoughts drifted to the past few days, past weeks. Familiar faces smiled, winked, laughed with their full lips or dimples or curious eyes. They touched her, kissed her, gave her empty promises wrapped in beautiful bows like they were forever in abundance, dispensable.
Those men made her feel something. In a world where she was confused, out of place, they extended a role, a purpose. By losing herself in the complexities of who they were home became a secondary idea. She hadn't even considered it at all. Grey forgot about the lake, forgot about her entire life resuming in a different dimension where she no longer stayed.
Would she get that time back? Was anyone worried about her? How long had she been gone?
And it was ridiculous to consider the fact that these questions arose two days ago on what she thoughtlessly called one of the best days of her life; because on that day her heart swelled and on that day anything seemed absolutely possible. There was nothing holding her back and the stars had practically aligned to give her some fake ass revelation of how this fantasy was all hers.
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
Laughing at jokes not meant for her, wearing clothes bought to dress her up like a mindless doll, sitting at a desk like an obedient lapdog because apparently that was a job.
How could she forget about the best one: wearing a fairy tale dress for rose delivery while they pulled her damn strings and picked her vulnerability apart like vultures?
Grey tore the covers away, irritated by how she began to sweat and how she shoved her face into a pillow to silence the whimper that escaped her throat. Because she wasn't just upset at the wave of cool air crashing onto the bed. She was pissed that she couldn't stop crying. Couldn't stop feeling bad for herself. Couldn't stop thinking of them.
And worst of all she couldn't find it in her heart to hate them. There was just a build-up of anxiety, fury, that white-hot feeling of embarrassment churning in her core and filtering through her veins from head to toe, numbed by the dominating force that blended everything together...
Hurt.
Grey was hurt.
And she supposed she deserved it for being so naive.
Grey sat up on the side of her bed and ran a hand through her hair, finding more tangles than usual. Her head throbbed and her bedroom spun. She needed to drink water. Thankfully, it was on one of the things she still had left in her fridge.
Her old apartment fared well during her stay at the penthouse. The plug-in air fresheners had gotten a bit weak, but the furniture appeared untouched, the floors seemed polished. Her notebooks and journals were neatly arranged on their respective shelves, her laptop was even plugged into the charger. If she hadn't known any better, she'd think Seokjin was taking care of this place too.
She snatched a water bottle and ignored the way the other shelves were empty. The cool liquid dulled her rumbling stomach. Maybe she would actually find something to eat later if she found the energy to leave the apartment.
Scratching echoed through Grey's foyer. An incessant yet small grating noise that would likely drive the girl insane if she walked away from it. She had before and it didn't stop then. Instead, the nuisance continued for at least half an hour and then vanished for at least two to three hours before picking up again. This was the third day that the sound came to wreak havoc.
She threw her empty bottle away and stormed through her living room. At last, she flung the front door open. A black and white ball of fur tumbled over her doorstep.
"You can't be here." Grey said.
Luca shook off her dizziness and sat on her haunches. "Why not? I am only a cat."
Grey held the door open, raising an eyebrow. "Are you?"
Luca frowned. "Grey, I am only here to check on you."
Sarcasm dripped from her response. "I am perfectly fine, guardian, thank you."
The kitten narrowed her eyes. "There is nothing there that I could have protected you from at that ball. I keep you physically safe, but what happens emotionally along the way is not something I can fix."
Wait.
Grey blinked, staring at the talking animal. For the first time, one of her proverbs was sinking into the human girl's thick skull. Her hand nearly slipped off the door handle as she said, "You know what happened at the ball?"
"Yes, I know. Word travels fast on what not to talk about in a penthouse full of brooding men."
Grey scoffed. "I'm sure they are just so torn up that their one-way ticket back to Heaven got a hold of herself."
"It is called the Eternal Realm."
Grey shrugged. "Doesn't matter if they can't go back."
Luca glowered at Grey with a ferocity that Grey could not comprehend. "You are blindsided by ignorance and an overflow of troubling human emotions. You are thinking of only yourself at a time such as this."
Grey reined in her temper. She would not give a cat a precious reaction. Willing her face into a blank stare, she replied. "Yes, Luca. I am being selfish after being betrayed by people I called my friends and being belittled--or I should say enlightened--by the one person that never should have had access to me."
When Luca remained silent, Grey pressed her lips into a thin line and added, "Who's side are you on? If you're here to defend liars, then leave."
She pulled the door open wider, one hand gesturing to the hallway.
Luca didn't even look in the direction of the exit. "I will not invalidate your emotions. However, the Eternal Realm is my home too! You must understand that while you come to terms with your circumstances, I must accept the fact that I may never find peace again. I do not agree with how Anaphiel handled the matter, but you are not the only one affected."
Luca's tail swished once. "All of us are stranded, Grey."
"You knew. About the curse. You knew." Grey shook her head, eyes watering again. "You let it happen, you let me do this, and you knew. I thought you were my friend."
"I did, and I am your friend," Luca admitted. "But I find that our situations are similar."
"Not in any capacity are they--,"
"Forgive me for disregarding your choice, your vote. Like you, I am estranged in this realm and there was hope in the idea that I could return. I would do anything to get back to where I am from, and in my greed I have cost myself your trust and caused you harm. I, too, was consumed by only possibility."
Grey leaned her head against the door and closed her eyes.
Luca stomped a paw down. "When you first arrived here, you went back to that park and scavenged it for hours to find a way back. The irkans became involved and so changed your needs from returning home immediately to trying to stay alive. The nightstalkers will never hunt me. I have had time to collect information and sit and stare at this complicated realm and its inhabitants for centuries. You think it is hard to be captive here for weeks, imagine never leaving for years on end."
"I will find another way. One that can get both you and I back to our respective realms. I need you to work with me--,"
"Promise me," Grey blurted. "Promise me that you'll get me home. That I get to make the decisions. That the playing field will become level. That I'll get to live the life I'm missing because of this. If I forgive you, you have to swear that we help one another. Angels aside."
"What will you do about Anaphiel?"
"That is for me to decide, but you are my best shot at learning anything about how this can be reversed. I know you have the answers."
After a few hollow seconds, Luca nodded slowly. "Fine. I swear to get you home."
"Thank you. You're forgiven."
Luca huffed, rolling her eyes and prowling towards the kitchen. "Now that the hard part is over, have any star flakes?"
Grey finally closed the door. "I should have known that's why you wanted to see me."
"Yes."
Grey gawked, eyebrows furrowing. "Luca, seriously?"
"What? I must be completely honest with you due to our pact. There were other reasons but I crave my snacks." The cat hopped onto the countertop with a graceful leap. She sniffed curiously from cabinet to cabinet, tail swaying as though she played a game of hot and cold with herself. Like she was getting warmer to the snack bag.
"Care to give me the other reasons?"
"Sure," the kitten sneezed, "I wanted to see you because I may have missed you. There are a lot of things to think about and your wellbeing happens to be one of them. Also, having Vanity protect you is irresponsible. She is a lion and you are a mouse at best."
Grey sat on the floor in her kitchen, watching Luca work. "A mouse? I think I'm more of a fox. A gazelle."
"You freeze too much to be on that level."
She scowled, glad that the star flakes weren't even in the kitchen so that the little brat would never get a taste. "Well having a lion on my side is better than being in a pit of snakes."
"Both can swallow you whole. The lion will just have more fun doing it."
"I haven't seen, heard, or noticed an irkan since I switched teams. Vanity can choke for all I care, but I haven't been threatened."
Luca stared at her from the top of the fridge. "I do not approve and quite frankly believe it is not in your best interest but I will respect your decision. Keep in mind there are worse things than Vanity out there. Stay vigilant. She is not and never will be your ally."
"I still have to give her a chance. I'm honoring our deal. No angels, no shed blood."
The kitten shook her head. "You would take the word of a demon if they put fairness into the equation."
"She is not a demon. Wait. Let me correct that. She is the embodiment of a miserable, soulless, and crude bitch, but she is not literally a demon, though I think she'd sure as hell pass for one."
"To each their own in terms of opinion, but you are correct. Vanity is Fallen."
"And you?" Grey tilted her head to observe the animal. "You seem to know a lot about the Fallen to call yourself only a guardian."
Luca pawed open a cabinet and closed it when it proved empty. "I am just as Fallen as the others."
"Then why are you still a cat?"
"As I told you in the past I am stuck in this body. You know that each of us have certain abilities. Mine is not easily maintained in other forms besides this one."
Grey's face fell. "You can't feel love either then."
"Do not get frustrated with me. I do not feel wholehearted love, like what you feel for Amelia or what you feel for your parents--may they rest in peace. Regardless, the curse of the Fallen applies heaviest to those that accept their Fall. When an angel no longer seeks repentance, that loving part of them passes away."
"When you tell me you miss me, do you mean it?"
"Must you turn soft on me? You humans are so emotional."
Grey's voice was quiet. "Tell me the truth."
"If I did not care for you or think of you day in and day out, I would not have come back to find you." Luca hopped down from the fridge onto the countertop, dissatisfied with her inability to find her goal. "Happy now? You are the young woman I look after and care for and I can say that because I will never let the darkness take hold of me for as long as I can push it away."
"How much does the darkness call for you?"
"All the time. Ah!" Luca meowed, eyes widening and ears perking. "There is a third reason why I came. I almost forgot."
"Okay? Spit it out."
"Amelia is awake."
:::
Grey had never moved faster in her life.
Panting, she dashed through the endless hospital halls with Luca on her heels. Nurses shouted for her to slow and she almost collided with gurneys turning corners, but when she arrived at Amelia's suite, there was so much energy coursing through her that she almost ripped the suite door off its hinges.
Fluorescent lights shining on white walls made the room blinding, and at first glance the only recognizable objects in the room were Grey's old flowers and deflating balloons. An inactive heart rate monitor stood in front of wide windows with blinds drawn. An armchair rested in the corner below the television and Grey looked away before she thought of Jungkook filling that space, measuring her.
Amelia was mid-yawn when she jumped at Grey's burst into the room. The hospital gown that shrouded her frame was no longer, replaced with her silk pajama pants from the incident and a plain cotton tee shirt. Where one sleeve ended, a faint, white scar marred her pale skin in an unforgivable jagged line.
Seeing her best friend permanently marked revived the helplessness Grey drowned in earlier while curled up in that bed and waiting for answers to drop into her lap. Amelia didn't deserve to be dragged into this, but at the same time, at least she was alive.
Plus, Grey was never going back to the skyscraper. The damage was done.
Relief wrangled pity in Grey's chest, and tears welled in her eyelids at the sight of her very best friend's enthusiastic face.
Amelia's lips curled into a cheshire grin. "What'd I miss?"
:::
(A/N) Sensational reader,
Bit of a shorter chapter, I know. I'll be working a summer camp this weekend, so I won't have very much time for writing or being online even though Wattpad is slowly consuming my life, lol. I'll still try to respond to notifications and stuff when I can, it'll just take a while!
Next release: 7/16 (July 16th)
Thanks for being you.
AND, @luvbtsandbooks HEY SIS, I want to dedicate this chapter to you because you're so sweet and unforgettable and your comments give me wings. I feel like I've already done this before? If I have idc?? You can have two, it's really not an issue with me. You're fantastic, thank you for reading.
All right, that's it for today!
With love,
M