I still remembered how I felt the first time my parents anniversary came and they weren't here. It was, as always, early January. Usually my mother would woke up early to prepare a lovely and delicious breakfast before my father had to leave for work. I barely saw him other than weekends since his work schedule was too occupied. But on their anniversary or our birthdays we always started the day together.
My parents were never rich people, we sometimes even live by the day, but they always made up things out of no were, so with simple flour and a bit of apple my mother would made us the greatest dessert ever. It could easily pass as a 5 star restaurant. Or at lest that what I remember.
After their accident now three years ago, their marriage anniversary started rather depressing. Like today. Me and Granny decided to visit them before school and she even sugest to go have breakfast on the small cafe at the courner. But it still didn't compensate their lost. I missed them like crazy, I mostly had accepted that they're gone but sometimes it felt like their hole would never be fully closed. Like today.
So when I entered my fist period I already was in a sour mod, no matter Macy's hugs or Norah's charade. They helped, yeah, but what I needed was something that was crashed three summers ago.
The first hour passed in a blur, I forced myself to take notes but in my head I was far, far away. If that stupid car crash had never happend, how would be my parents now? Would my father finally had been promoted? Would my mother ever lost her hard accent we all but her loved? Would we still be living on that small flat over the flower shop?
I guess I'd never know and that pained me deep inside. Like burning that never stopped.
Turning on the autopilot, I entered almost the first Economy's class and immediately took one of the seats in the first row. This fist days it was very important were we decided to camp up since it would became our place for the rest of the trimester. I made myself comfortable as people began to arribe, appreciating how I saw perfectly the board and was close enough to listen everything but not too much so I would had to dislocate my neck in order to see the blackboard. Just perfect. Well, guess something good could come out of today.
It wasn't really a surprise the spot next to mine remain empty. As you could imagine, I wasn't exactly a popular person and nobody eager to remain socially alive would willingly come this close. Even tho it kinda hurt, I'd get used to it with the course of past years. Especially last trimester. Nobody wanted to get dragged under populars rage, no matter how good the seat was.
So when I saw Norah cheerfully passing the door's frame my mood immediately lighted up. She smiled quickly spotting me and began making her way here. Great, the fact that I mentally prepared myself to be alone yet another class didn't mean I much rather have her with me. Before she reached the chair, though, a sudden voice stop her.
"That seat's taken."
My stomach fell and we both turned in disbelief to the one who talked. Not that I needed to, I'd recognize him anywhere: Brett freaking Ryder.
Norah looked a little startled. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know."
And she continued towards the back with me being too baffled to make her stay. Instead I saw how Devil him-self put the chair backwards and slipped into it like he owned the place. Our eyes locked and he sent me his usual smirk.
Brett's gaze traveled across my face, like he was memorizing every detail and I felt damn self-conscious and embarrassed. My cheeks started burning when I saw all the attention on us and moved my hair to hide me. I couldn't actually blame Norah for leaving me since she didn't know that was Brett. The girl'd never seen him before, but I couldn't help to inwardly cursed her.
I tried to hide my shaking hands from his sight, completelly clueless at what was his intentions with this.
"What- What are you doing?" I asked confused. Didn't he get anything from our last chat? I wanted him far away from me. Why couldn't he let me stick to my plan?
"I'm doing things right."
I scowled at him but he just kept staring. Like that explained a damn thing!
"You can't sit here." I tried a different angle but in response he just rose an eyebrow.
"Can't I?"
"No, you can't." I stated firmer this time. That's it, Alyson, show confidence and they'll respect you... or at least that's what that web site said. "You need to move."
But far from intimidated his sky blue eyes shone with amusement.
"Make me, Giggles."
Was he for real? I clenched my fists 'cause it seemed so. He was slouching on the chair, lazily playing with his key chain. He was not moving and we both knew I couldn't make him.
"Fine." I hissed packing back my things and standing up. "I'll leave."
"Going somewhere Miss White?"
I turned to the professor, Mrs Goldin, who had just entered and was looking at me with pursed lips. Her small and filled figure facing me completely.
"Sorry, Mrs. I just... I-"
But reality hit me as I kept glancing the classroom and noticed that all the seats were taken. All blood drop out my face. I was stuck there. Unless I wanted to skip that class. Really tempting.
"Yes, Miss White?" encouraged me the teacher.
Disguising my shaking I stiffly sat back down and cursed my luck.
"Nothing, Mrs. Excuse me."
She nodded and I hid myself behind my hair again from my classmates whispers. What this things always happen to me?
"Come on Giggles." Brett leaned to whisper to me and the small hairs in my arms rose. "I'm not that bad."
I grunted in response. Praying his interest in passing the assignature overpower his need to mess with me and made thing easier. He already had screwed my first chance to get and scholarship; he wouldn't messed my second, would he?
A shaky breath escaped my lips as I spread my things over the desk, completelly aware of his nearness and stare on me. The class hasn't even started and he already managed to got me on the edge. He really had to sit there?
This is gonna be a long hour.
And it really was. I could feel his stare on me all the time, getting my nerves in anticipation of his next move. Would he throw my pens? Scratched my notebook? Kick my chair so I fell and everyone laughed? It's not like he hadn't done that and worst before and my muscles were beginning to hurt from tension.
His constant useless remarks in order to get a reaction out from me didn't help either. Ignoring him wasn't really succeeding, in fact I could sense he was getting tired of my lack of response. One, I came her to learn; and two, didn't he get I didn't want to talk to him?
Apparently not.
"You know I don't deal well with people ignoring me." he half warmed, half teased after another stupid remark about whatever Mrs Goldin was explaining. Provably was nothing important but I still copying everything in my paper. His comment made me shudder 'cause I know it was true. "Hello?" at that Brett poked me on the ribs and the sudden contact -even tho it wasn't harsh- made me jump, my heart throbbing wildly up my throat. His brows perked up at my reaction. "Woah, calm down will you?"
Easier said than done.
Finally managing to calm my pounding heartbeat from that rush of adrenaline, I shook my head realizing how ridiculous this whole situation was. "Listen," I sighed, carefully massaging my skull to numb the throbbing I felt there. "Today I'm not really in the mood to endure you. Can you just please, please, torment me any other time?"
"Torment you?" he laughed in disbelief, something unreadable crossed his eyes; but then stopped after some seconds, grewing serious as if realizing something. "Oh, shit, I'd forgotten. Is it for your parents, right?"
I frowned at him, baffled. How did he- Oh, right his mother.
Back when his son and I were still close and my mother was alive, Julia Ryder was like an unofficial aunt. She was practically the only one beyond my grandmother there after the tragedy happened to supported me. She helped a lot with the funeral, with the papers and me moving with Granny. Mrs Julia was always nice and gentle... I really couldn't understand where Brett come from.
I shook my head, getting rid of that memories. Not really feeling like talking about it with him of all the people, I just made a small shrug; swiftly back to copying whatever Mrs Goldin was writting on the board. None sense about what percentange of the evaluation would be where, but that gave me an excuse not to focuse on that Brett was right there.
"How are you doing?" he asked quietly, in a tone that all but guarded me further. Since when did he care? Well, he obviously didn't, so why pretend to? He was up to something, I knew. Struggling to figure him out I lifted my shoulders again but that seemed to frustrate him. "Is that your answer for everything?" he snorted and my guts tightened as I shrunk in my seat.
"No..."
He snorted, mumbling something sharp under his breath. Luckly I didn't get to hear what. I was sure it would make me felt all worst.
For the next moments he actually left me alone, which was an achivement itself, but when the teacher anounced half our mark will be upon small projects we'd eventually had to do with the person on our side I felt again like I might die from cardiac arrest. Me and Brett? Work together on something? I most certainly would fail this subject. And there would go my chances to go USC, lost forever all over again. This couldn't be happening.
I saw Brett's smirk from the corner of my eye. Innevitably I turned only to find myself frozen at his cocky expression and immediately knew I must do something. So when the teacher asked "Is there any question?" my hand trembly rose up. "Yes?"
"Can I have another partner?"
That wiped off completely the smug expression from the player by my side, quickly replaced by a frown but I ignore him. I knew for sure there would be a lot of girls more than eager to had this hour with him. For me, tho, it would only be a torture that lead me to more misery.
Mrs Goldin blinked, taken aback by the question. "Mh, well if you found someone willing to change places..." some gasps where heard from those aforesaid girls, already melting at the possibility; but at my side Brett huffed.
"Not happening."
Two words. That was all it took him to forbid everyone to exchance places with either me or him. I could tell by the disappointed female sounds and the unanimous boys' silence.
Why? Why why why? I couldn't let him ruin this for me as well.
I cleared my throat. "Can I work alone then?"
Some snickers were heard from the back and the teacher gave me now an annoyed glance. "Very funny, Miss White. Now stop disturbing." and just like that she shifted to another question, dismissing my drama completelly.
"What was that for?" he grunted upset as I held my head with one arm bended over the table, defeated. I just shook my head, my guts clenching in anticipation as I resumate writting what Mrs Goldin said in order to kept him out my mind. But, guess what? Brett wasn't having that. "Lys." this time accompanied his irritate snarl suddenly taking the pencil from me and I flinched away immediately. His eyes darkened dangerously. "Why are you like this? I haven't done anything now."
"I-I..."
The loud bell saved me from answering and faster than I ever been I got all my stuff collected and within seconds was bolting out of there with the pulse roaring in my ears. A relieved sigh left me.
Man, that was a close one, I thought keeping all my belonging on the locker and heading down the hall ways as it began filling with loud students. Thank God nothing really happen.
But as usual, I spoke too soon.
I entered the cafeteria, pulling out the five dollar bill Granny gave me to by food since she ain't got time to made me anything this morning, but out of the blue my foot got stucked with something and I found myself falling face first. I whimpered, getting up in a sitting position and palmed my throbbing nose and elbows. It hurt, like really, but not as much as the muffled laughs and giggles around.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there." I knew that mocking, false concerned voice.
Jade was looking down at me, her perfect golden hair flawlessly brushed backwards and her slim arms folded over her chest, hip pounded to one side. She was wearing one of those crossed V-neck shirts and denim shirt that I wasn't allowed to wear due to my lack of female curbs, but that she rocked. It wasn't fair Jade looked like a model while I was literally on the floor. Because she tripped me.
Her redish lips tugged upwards in a sweet smile but I saw the hatred past it. "You're always on the way, aren't you?" Somehow most of them always manage to put that perfect innocent facade in front of everyone and made it look like the blame's on me. "You forgot what we talked yesterday? How unfortunate."
My breath hitched. This was for Brett, of course. The whole 'stay away from us' thing. But I did keep my distance. He was the one who came to me! I told you they got this planned.
"I'm sorry." I struggled to get up, ignoring the whispers and looked around but unable to prevent a blush at the amount of attention. Why I was he one apologizing was beyond me, but at this point I'd learnt to go along with them so the torments last short.
Jade proved me right when she smugly nodded. "Alright, I'll forgive you this time but I'm gonna keep this." as she purred that last word, the tip of her beautiful Jimmy Choo stepped on the forgoten bill I lost in my fall and was in the floor between us. I watched helplessly as she slowly dragged it out my reach. She knew my current situation, she knew I didn't have more money in me and that would mean I won't eat at all. But the cruelty derisive shinning in her pale eyes made me realize that was her main aim. She was punnishing me for going against her. She bent forward, lowering her tone. "Now move along, we all know anorexics doesn't really need to used this place so spare us your sight."
Yeah, she was plenty consciencious of my insecurities about my permanent thinness, I complained about it to her before she decided to hate me. And Jade just go and used it against me. I was so not an anorexic. But I got fast metabolism and no matter how much I've eaten I ain't gain a pound. Macy had told me how jealous she is multiple times, but in reallity it sucks. I would die to have their bra size, but no, I was granted with a twelve year old cleavage. One time I decided to used socks but it looked worst. Good job there, nature!
Jade's friend, Shannon, laughed next to her and made another awful remark of how unattractive I was, blowing more from my precarious self-esteem. It suddenly felt like all eyes were on me and I couldn't handle it far longer.
Not seeing my friends anywhere I choose for a quick escape. Mumbling another sorry I pushed pass them and rushed out the cafeteria. Their laughs still printed in my mind, tho. As soon as I reached the ladies bathroom I locked myself into a stall, sat on the closed toilet pulling my knees to my chest and burried my face there so it muffled the sobs I'd being suppressing the whole day.
I was sad, hungry and just had been humiliated yet again.
Definitely this week was getting worst and worst as it went on.
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