"Stupid supid stupid-" I hissed to myself. I lifted my fist, hesitate, and finally reached out and knocking the door. A couple soft taps that made me wonder if he could heard them through the thick wood and the loud music that boomed through the hallway. I guessed he didn't since for the next minute when I hold my breath nothing happen. That or he was ignoring me. "Shit."
I hadn't seen him since the teacher brought both guys to the principal's and ordered for Noel and me to be taken to the nursery. Anxiety had filled my chest ever since I snapped out my shocked state but by then neither Brett nor Connor were there for me to properly thank their help.
I couldn't get the scene out my head.
Brett had stepped in for me.
He was ready to screw his spot on the main team for me.
But Connor appeared out of the blue saving him and helping me as well.
It all was unexpected and overwhelming.
Noel and Connor'd been suspended for three days for fighting while Brett got out of it with a slap on the wrist, but I hadn't seen any of them ever since they parted us this afternoon. And I felt... weird.
I felt awful they get punished on my behalf but also grateful towards them. I tried calling but none took their phone so I stick to Norah after our last period and here I was, trying to get to Connor in hopes he'll forgive me. Brett's silence also got me on my nerves but I needed to take care of it one at time.
Norah stepped out her room on the other side of the hallway, mouthing me 'Good luck' with a thumbs up before sprinting down the stairs to her Japanese course -to which she was already late. I heard the thud of the front door seconds later. Now there was just me and Connor.
Swallowing the hard lumb in my throat I knocked again, more determined and earned me a harsh: "Go away."
Nerves ate my stomach from inside. He really didn't want to be bothered. He must hate me now. I only brought him burdens. Maybe I should wait...
No. The guy did you a huge favor. Now, you're gonna woman up and thank him like the mature girl you are.
Dragging in another shaky breath I knocked again, harder this time. My stomach clenched at the curse and steps I heard form inside. A second later the door bursted open harshly and he barked: "What?" his annoyed scowl deepening in surprised when he took in my presence.
I stood there, wide eyed like a deer caught by the lights and with my pulse raging. To my dismay, everything I had prepared to say vanished from my mind and left me tongue-tied at his cold receiving. I blushed under his intense stare, waiting for me to explain as a strong thrill of insecurity shook through me.
Yeah, this was a bad idea... He clearly didn't want company. I should-
But gaze fell an in the moment I spotted on his scratched knuckles everything softened in me. He punched Noel. He deffended me. And got suspended because of it. The hesitation disappeared in gratitude and warmth. Before knowing what I was doing I'd stepped forward, my arms had snaked around his chest and I was snuggling closer.
Connor tensed all over, flabbergasted, clearly not having expect me to do that. He stood there, rigid for some seconds, stiff as ever and only after the first shocked seconds he patted my back. "There, there." I supposed it was meant to be reassuring but it came out awkward and I couldn't help an ashamed chuckled that ended in a chocked sniffle. Guess we both were really clueless at this situations.
A blush of embarrasment burned my skin agressively as a rebel tear dared to escape but I only held him tighter, afraid he might push me away. For some reason, Connor made me feel safe despites being the coldest and more detatched person I'd ever met. Surprisingly, he didn't. Nor hugged me back either but in that moment I really needed that hold -even if it was just a one-side hug. He allowed me to let it out and only after I calmed enough I took in what was I doing. Realization of what a fool out of myself I was making sink deep in me and my guts twisted.
Amazing, Alyson. So smooth.
I shyly pulled away clearing my throat. "I'm sorry. I- Damn."Â I let out another ashamed laugh wiping under my eyes and unable to hold his gaze after such a display of disarray. "I didn't mean to be this mess. I just..." I hated how my voice faltered as if the whole thing came back to me at once and the emotions strangled me at once. I forced in a deep shaky breath before summarizing: "I'm sorry."
Connor shrugged, apparently unbothered by my little outburst but his eyes weren't that cold. He even baffled me further when he moved to the side. He was inviting me in, wasn't he? Since he was't much of a man of words I usually struggled to comprend him, but this sign was pretty clear. Sending him a wavery smile I took a couple steps in.
The music was ten time louder in here, its beat almost making my bones tremble. A quick glance around and I took in a few details. Such as the darkness of most of his belongings, how his white walls were all scratched and covered in letters; words and sentences superimposed, the meaning of whichs wasn't exactly the happy-flower-kind. But opossed to the overlaborated work on the walls, his furniture like desk and shelves were practically empty. Only a few belongings occupied it: a computer, a couple books... nothing exactly revealing.
"T-they say you got suspended." I muttered peeling my gaze from the scrutiny and towards his nonchallant figure.
Not bothering with other answer than a pointed look, Connor closed the door again and moved to sit on his bed, completely unfazzed by my presence there. He lowered the volum of the music with a control and retook the disregarded skateboard from the floor, laid it upside-down on his lap and only then I noticed the tools splashed over the duvet.
"Oh, I-I didn't mean to disturb you if you're busy." I stuttered, insecure again, feeling really exposed there standing in his room even tho Connor wasn't looking at me anymore, working on the board. As his hands move to unroll one of the wheels his bruised knuckes caught my attention again and I felt my stomach churned. "I'll be real quick. I j-just wanted to say I'm so sorry you got suspended." he sent me a brief 'are you kidding' look and go back to fiddle with the wheel with a shrug, showing he wasn't bothered by it. I still felt this unease feeling on my stomach, tho. Gulping I proceeded: "And also, thanks. For stepping in, for deffending me and... well. Thank you."
"Does it hurt?" his words startled me since he didn't even rose his gaze, focused on his work. My hand instinctibly went to the band-aid that now decorate my forehead, but lowered it as soon as I realized what I was doing.
"It stings." I confessed in a low voice and immediately cleared my throat to get rid of the knot in there. "B-but I'm sure I wasn't the worst injured there."
"I hope."
I ignored the malice in his tone, glancing back at his hand. "What about you? Doesn't that hurts?"
Then Connor did rose his gaze to met mine, a hint of surprise in his orbs. With a small frown he glanced down at his brused knuckles, opening and closing his fist as if testing it and I could tell that from the looks of it that it did hurt. But after a moment of contemplation he shrugged and mimicked: "It stings."
I nodded. Guess we both were playing it down, then. Okay.
I glance around, very self conscious in the middle of his room as he wen't back to his business without another retort. It was almost as if he didn't want me there, but at the same time, he'd invite me in and hadn't kick me out yet so... I inwardly sighed.
Connor was such a complicated person. He was cold, and distant and it looks like he couldn't give a shit for anything but then he goes and does something random that prove it wrong. It was very hard to read him and even harder to anticipate him.
My eyes fell on the papers over his desk and my eyes widened when I recognized them.
"You're going to the Spring Ball?" I couldn't help the baffled tone.
The even was due a couple weeks from now and everyone was talking about it. Since our school had this queen of Flowers contest it was kind of a big deal. Macy's been insisting in me to come but I wasn't that sure. I mean, yeah, I want to go since this would be the last year and as seniors it was part of the parting ceremony... that along with the Prom. But on the other hand I wasn't sure I would be welcome there... What if someone put some other trick on me?
Apprehension an excitement figth inside my chest and I still yet to decide to go. That and the fact that no one had asked me to go. We originally planned to go as friends, Macy, Norah and myself; but considering recent events I doubted they still felt like it... even tho they had openly told me it was fine. I knew they inwardly wanted to go together.
"Uh, yeah." for the first ime ever Connor's voice wavered at the end. Barely a hint that would had pass unadvertised by anyone but by now I was getting used to his ways. He cleared his throat but it was too late. I'd heard it and smiled a little. "My girlfriend wanted to but not anymore." Connor said all of the sudden, taking me completely out of guard.
"You have a girlfriend?" my eyes widened and I felt the blush climbing up my neck. "I-I mean, mmh. Sure you do." I wanted to mentally face-palm myself for my stupidity but the corner of his lips twisted ever so slightly and kept calmly fixing the board. Connor had a girlfriend. Whoa. I didn't see that one coming. "So, uh, what's her name?"
"Heather."
"That's, mm, a pretty name." I shifted so I was facing him. Kinda unsure of how much could I talk before he'd had enough. But seeing he'd been the one who brought her up I decided to take the chance. "How did you two meet?"
Connor shrugged. "Same english class. Got paired for a project."
I waited but he didn't specify anymore and I frowned.
"That's all? Come on, she's your girl. How did the magic start? Was it love at first sight? How long you've been together? Have you get to the 'I love you' step?"
His head slowly turned to me and I felt my cheeks burning at his amused eyes, even though his face still blank of any emotion. I'd been getting familiar with the slightly gestures of his face. He didn't have to do a lot to show a feeling, and now I was pretty sure he was internally laughing at my explosion of questions.
"Shut up." I mumbled ashamed and his raising brow said 'I ain't said anything'. Which was true. I rolled my eyes and waved it off. "So?"
"That a huge amount of questions." was his answer and I sighed.
"Does Norah knows?" I wondered, sure she hadn't mention anything about it and knowing she surely would had if she did. Connor lifted one careless shoulder. "Why aren't you going to the ball after all?"
"Family duties." he shrugged again. "She'll be out that day."
"Are you okay with that?"
He snorted. "Just another conventional excused for morons to attend to. As if."
I could tell by the contend hint in his tone that, whether the Spring Ball was something I would had never pictured him attending and that I was 99% sure it was Heather who convinced him to go; now he was disappointed for not attending anymore.
I smiled to myself. So we both were the same. We wanted/not-wanted to go.
"Maybe we could, um, be conventional together?" I spoke without thinking and his baffled gaze met mine and I felt my cheeks burning. Oh damn, that was way to blunt. Lowering my gaze to my frantic fiddling fingers I rushed: "As f-friends I mean. Since Heather would be out and I had no one..." chocking on embarrasment I relized how desperate and dumb I sounded. I should learn how to shut my mouth from time to time. "Or... I don't know. It's stupid. Forget I asked."
"You want to go with me?" he surprised me by asking, a hint of confusion in his tone. So low it could easily go unnoticed but by now I was getting used to his ways. My eyes raised again to meet his. There was no mock, no taunting, just plain disbelief.
"Mh, yes... Since none of us want to go and we're friends..."
"Friends." he repeated the word, almost as if tasting and I grew more anxious.
"Yeah, I-I mean. We kinda are, aren't we?" Maybe I rushed things? Maybe he got protective because I was his sister's friend? But the corner of his lip twisted and I felt myself relaxing. "But if you don't want to it's fine too. I understand."
"And Ryder?"
My heart skipped a beat at his unexpected retort. When did Brett even became part of this conversation? I gave him a confused look.
"What about him?"
His brow perked as if saying 'really?' but he leaned back, taking another moment to contemplate it before just saying. "Sure."
"Really?" I smiled, more happy that I would be going after all than I'd thought. "Have you just agreed in being my accompany?"
He thought about it for a second but ended up giving me the slightlest nod ever. My grin widened nonetheless, but he warned: "I don't dance."
"Oh-"
"And I'm not wearing a suit."
I laughed. I wouldn't expect any less. "As far as I'm concerned, you can go in sweatpants if you want." Then put the pamphlet down and gave him a greatful look. "Thank you."
He shook his head, but I couldn't tell if it was in a 'don't-mention-it' manner or in a 'I'm-gonna-regret-this' manner. "Done." he dropped the board and stood, testing it with one foot before nodding to himself and easily slipping on the leather jacket. "You're coming?"
He's going to skate. And he's inviting me to come with. A smile stretched my lips at the gesture. I really felt like it, the 'yes' was struggling to drifted pass my lips, but I had to bit it back in disappointment.
This week, since I was finally fully recovered from Jade and Shannon attack; I had to work extra shifts to get back at Jane for covering me when I was ill. And I still yet to go home to drop my things and take Granny's car since I would be coming back late night and neither of us wanted me wondering alone that late.
"Can't." I stuttered, grimacing at how unconvinient it all was. "My shift starts soon."
It wasn't like Connor seemed disappointed at it. He just -guess what?- shrugged and we both made our way out the house. I waved him getting on my bike and he nod before disappering down the street. Not much of a reaction but something after all.
My God, I was going to the Spring Ball with Connor. With Connor! When did this even happen? And I'd been the one to offer. Dear Lord. Norah wouldn't let me hear the end of it.
Now that I was certain that he didn't hate me for the consequences and I'd thanked him properly I need to focus on the other one affected by the recent events.
Brett, being the one not suspended and... well, being him, I would had thought it was just a matter of time once I stepped out the nursery 'til I met with him; but no. I hadn't seen him at all in the halls, even considering I was looking for him. How come he was all over the place when I avoided him but mysteriously disappeared when I was indeed seeking for him? The irony.
Nor did he get my calls or I even spot him from afar. Nada. A big fat zero. Where the hell was he?
For at least tenth time today I called him as soon as I arrived home, but -surprise!- he didn't take it. I was begining to get suspicious. Over the last couple months I'd grew accostumate to his continuos bickering, always around, always with some smart thing to say... The tightening in my chest intensified as the answering machine started talking from the other end of the line.
What's wrong with him? Is he mad now or something? And what's going on with me? I'd been praying for him to leave me alone, but now it was me who was stressing over not knowing what's going on with him.
I shook my head, not having time for this, and ran to my room to get ready for work.
I called him a couple more times before entering my shift but still the same luck. The lace around my lungs clenched each time the call would met a dead end.
What? Maybe he was mad at me. Maybe it did get him in trouble with the coach after all.
It wasn't until hours later, when I was finally done with the extra hours; exhausted and ready to go home to rest that my phone buzzed. I slid it out my pocked while closing the doors car and my heart sped at Brett's name across of it.
Finally. I couldn't help a small frown as I took in the time it was already: it was past eleven pm. I pull out the stupid hat they made us wear as part of the outfit and took the call holding my breath.
"Hi?"
"Hello?" I didn't recognize the low hoarsy voice. I had to double check to make sure the contact was correct. Yes, Brett's name was written across the screen. So who was this man? There was also chattering in the background and music.
"Who's this?" I wondered carefully.
"The bar's owner." What? "Yeah, mm, you might have to come pick them up."
"Excuse me?"
I heard him sighed annoyed. "Your boyfriend is wasted and creating a scene. If you don't come take them away I'm calling the cops."
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Hey! how are you people? I hope you all stay safe. This quarantine is really taking long, be careful. Thank you for reading this chapter, let me know what are your thoughts on it!
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