Iâm on day number five of molding young minds and ready to throw in the towel. Okay, not really, but I was not prepared. Every muscle hurts, not because I stood for a large portion of those five days, but because I was so nervous I clenched and tensed all week long.
For three and a half years Iâve been working toward this. Whatâs that saying about false hopes being more dangerous than fears? I challenge that person to stand in front of a class of high schoolers and say that with a straight face.
So many teenage boys made passes at me today I feel icky. And the girls? Wow, either Iâve blocked it, or theyâve gotten meaner since I was in high school a few years ago.
I shake off my pessimism and glance at the lone student left under my supervision. Sheâs why I wanted to do this. Girls just like Everly Kent. Itâs her first week, too, and itâs hard to say whose was more craptastic.
School has been over for almost an hour now, but Iâm still here waiting for her parents to pick her up. She stands at the sink rinsing out paintbrushes and palette cups.
My cell phone buzzes on the desk in front of me. Dinner tonight?
Canât. I have tutoring. Call you after. I tap out the quick response to my boyfriend and then put my phone away.
I toss the last stale chip left over from lunch in my mouth and chew as I watch Everly scrub at old paint stains. Itâs been as clean as itâs going to get for five minutes, but I think sheâs working out her own issues.
She doesnât look like a kid who ruined a semesterâs worth of theater backdrops in a single hour. Though she doesnât look all that remorseful either. Still, thereâs something in the way she holds herselfâangry, jaded, with just a dash of insecurity that she hides under thick makeup and a glare at anyone who looks like they might be a threat. If Everly can make it through this week, then I can too.
âI think those are clean enough,â I say.
My stomach growls and I toss the empty chip bag in the trash. I check the clock on the wall for the time. Everyone else is gone for the day. The halls are quiet and the parking lot outside my window is mostly empty. My mentor teacher, Mrs. Aaron, had to run to a doctorâs appointment right after school so I volunteered to stay.
Everly takes a seat in front of my desk and stares at her fingernails, picking at the black polish.
She hasnât even apologized, but the pout of her mouth tells me she feels somethingâ¦even if itâs only rage at being stuck here with me. Oh, to be a teenager again. The days of writing off your wrongs so easily and letting your parents sweep in and fix everything. Iâm not even joking. Iâd love to call up Mom and Dad and have them save me. Adulting really sucks sometimes.
I tap my foot, anxious to get out of here. I have a tutoring job in thirty minutes, and I really donât want to cancel. The Allens pay well, especially considering their nine-year-old daughter is whip smart, and I need the money. This student teaching gig does not pay, which feels like a crime. I worked my butt off this week.
âAre your parents coming from work?â I ask, trying not to sound like Iâm sweating bullets hoping that theyâll arrive soon so I can leave.
Before she can answer, the phone on my/Mrs. Aaronâs desk rings.
âHello?â I say as I put it to my ear.
âHi there. Mrs. Best is ready for Everly in the office.â Kim, the office administrator, talks in a sweet, warm tone that always sounds like sheâs smiling. And she has been every time Iâve seen her.
âOn our way,â I say too eagerly, standing before Iâve even put the receiver down.
Everly gets to her feet without question and follows me, slowly putting one foot in front of the other.
Finally, Iâm going to be able to get out of here. I might even have time to drive through somewhere and grab something to eat before I go to the Allens. I spent too much time this morning trying to decide what to wear (my closet needs a serious overhaul) and forgot to pack a lunch. I thought itâd be fine, and I could grab something from the cafeteria, but none of the other teachers eat lunch at the cafeteria so then I felt weird about going and had to eat vending machine food. Iâm starving.
As we round the last corner toward the office, Everly speaks. âAre they going to suspend me?â
I pause and turn to face her. âIâm not sure.â
She clutches on to her backpack, eyes on her feet. âHeâs going to send me back.â
A pang of sympathy hits me. I donât ask back where. Wherever she means, she isnât happy about it.
âItâs going to be okay,â I promise, having absolutely no right to say it and regretting it immediately. I have no idea what her home life is like or what situation brought her here the last semester of her senior year.
I wanted to be a teacher for two reasons, and I am going to repeat them to myself every day, probably multiple times a day. Number one, my grandmother was a teacher, and she was the most magnificent person that ever lived. I loved her more than anyone in the world. People adored her everywhere we went. Her students grew up, had kids, and hoped theyâd have her as a teacher too. They invited her to weddings and christenings like she was a part of the family. It was incredible to go somewhere with her and run into an old student. What she did mattered to people on a real and personal level.
Number twoâand this one is harder to put into words that donât sound lofty and clichéâI want to make a difference. My life has beenâ¦easy. Not always, certainly not now, but for enough of my life that I feel like I owe it to the universe or something. I saw how much of a difference my grandmother made and I want to continue that. I donât know how else to describe it other than to say it just feels like what Iâm supposed to be doing.
Maybe I wonât be the teacher that my grandmother was, but if I make a difference for just one person, then I think it will have all been worth it. And I guess Everly Kent is as good of a place to start as any.
âI will do what I can,â I say to her as I place my hand on the doorknob for the school office.
âThanks.â Her hazel eyes lift to mine, and I get the smallest of smiles.
Kim tips her head to the back of the office. âEverly, you can go right in.â
The girl next to me mumbles her thanks and heads toward Mrs. Bestâs open door.
She walks in and takes the empty seat in front of the desk. I follow, then linger in the doorway unsure if I should be here for the meeting or not, but I canât plead my case for Everly on the other side of the door.
âMiss Vaughn,â Principal Best says. One of her dark brows inches higher as if asking, what are you doing here?
âHi. I was just bringing Everly here from the classroom, but while Iâm here I wanted to say that I would be thrilled to work with Everly to fix the damage,â I say, then quickly add, âif thatâs okay with you.â
âSit.â She waves her hand to an empty chair. âI was just talking with Mr. Sharp about the damage.â
I finally let myself look at Everlyâs father. His name and hers swirl together in my head like a tornado waiting to swoop down and destroy. And when I meet his green gaze, thatâs exactly what it doesâwreck me.
Iâm no longer the capable woman starting a new job, but a brokenhearted teenager crying over the boy sitting across the room. Except heâs not a boy anymore.
Tyler Sharp is all grown up. I already knew this. His face is everywhere in this city, but no amount of media exposure prepared me for seeing him in person.
âPiper,â he says, my name a jagged whisper from his lips.
Still, it knocks the air from my lungs. Iâm still walking forward to my seat, gaze locked on his. I ram into the side of Principal Bestâs desk and buckle forward on impact.
Tyler stands quickly like heâs going to come across the room to help me. I hold up a hand and grimace as pain spreads down my leg, but itâs nothing compared to the one in my chest.
I glance up at him from where I hunch over rubbing my knee. My high school love. My only love, if weâre being technical.
Heâs dressed in shorts and a Wildcat T-shirt like he came straight from the arena. I have so many questions, none of them appropriate for my new boss to hear.
I scramble to stand upright, ignoring the sharp pain and slapping a smile on my face. âTyler. Hi. I didnât realizeâ¦â I glance at Everly. His sister. He spoke of her often while we were together, but I never met her, and I definitely didnât expect to run into her here. Her gaze ping-pongs between us for answers.
âIâm student teaching here.â I take my seat and a deep breath.
He nods but doesnât speak. He doesnât take his eyes off me either and I finally look away first, giving Principal Best my attention.
âGreat, well,â she says, clasping her hands on the desk. âIâve already explained to Mr. Sharp the damage to school property.â
Everly winces. I think sheâs finally realizing just how bad it sounds when put in those terms.
Principal Best looks right at Everly. âI know that moving to a new school halfway through your senior year of high school canât be easy, but it doesnât excuse what happened today. A lot of people worked really hard on the backdrops that are now ruined.â
I sneak another glance at Tyler. His jaw is tight, mouth in a straight line as he watches his sister like heâs waiting for an explanation.
âEv?â His voice is quiet but stern.
âIâm sorry, okay? I didnât know thatâs what they were.â
He rakes a hand across his jaw, back and forth, while he looks up at the ceiling. His mouth moves but no words come out. Finally, he speaks where we can hear him. âWhat does this mean for Everly? Will she be suspended?â
Principal Best sits back in her chair, hands still clasped but now at her waist. Sheâs quiet, mulling over what to do. Finally, she says, âI believe that you didnât do it maliciously, but in the future, if it doesnât belong to you, I think itâs safe to assume you shouldnât be painting on it in your free time. Okay?â
âOkay.â
âIt wonât happen again,â Tyler says.
âGood.â
âIs that it?â Tylerâs voice sounds like he canât believe sheâs getting off this easy.
âWell, the backdrops are still unusable, and we have a much-anticipated theater performance coming up in a couple of months.â
âI will pay for the damage, of course,â he says.
âThat wonât be necessary.â Mrs. Bestâs gaze slides to me. âAre you sure that you would like to oversee the work required to repaint the backdrops?â
âYes,â I say with confidence that is entirely for Everlyâs benefit. Maybe a little for Tyler. I donât want him to see me sweating, not over the job and definitely not over him.
I catch his eye and swallow thickly when I find him staring back at me.
âWe could work on it after school if that works for your schedule,â I say to him and Everly, keeping my eyes on her.
âSeems fair,â Tyler says. âEverly?â
Her tone doesnât sound like she thinks itâs fair, but she agrees.
âOkay. Itâs settled.â Mrs. Best stands, as does Tyler. She extends a hand to him. âThank you for your time.â
âLikewise,â he says, drops her hand, and places it at Everlyâs elbow.
I wait for them to leave first and then shuffle out behind them into the hallway.
âIâll meet you outside,â Tyler says to his sister.
She doesnât need any more encouragement. She takes off out the front of the school without so much as a thank you.
Heâs taller. Broader too. His face has less of the boyish softness than it did when I knew him. It feels like a lifetime ago.
âI had no idea she wasâ¦â My voice trails off. âI didnât realize your family had moved here too.â
Too. Meaning, I knew he was here. I did. Iâd have to be completely oblivious not to know. Wildcat Hockey is everything in this city, and Tyler has been getting a lot of attention as a rookie with star potential.
âThey didnât. Just Ev. Sheâs staying with me.â
âOh.â I have a whole host of questions that I no longer feel close enough to him to ask, but still wonder. I never met his sister while we were dating, but I saw pictures. She was thirteen, then, and I never would have put it together without him showing up here.
âItâs good to see you, Piper,â he says. âI hoped I might run into you someday. I didnât imagine it like this.â
My heart beats wildly, but anger flashes too. This boy broke my heart in a million pieces. We dated for the most amazing eight months. We lived in different cities, so we were mostly long-distance, but somehow it felt like he was with me every second of the day: texts, all-night phone calls, weekend visits cramming in hours of making out and kissing until my lips hurt. I loved him so much. I thought he was my forever. Maybe thatâs dumb at eighteen, but Iâve never met anyone that made me feel like he did. Not before him and not since.
He broke up with me the night of my high schoolâs big spring dance. He was supposed to be my date, but he got held up because of hockey. That happened quite a bit, honestly. His schedule was intense for a high school kid. I got it. Like I said, I felt a connection to him without needing to be with him every day and I was fine with being the one who had to make concessions like traveling to visit him on weekends instead of him coming to see me. I loved him so much. None of that mattered.
But when he called that night to tell me he wasnât going to make it, he said he couldnât keep disappointing me. He said, âI love you, Pipes, but right now this just isnât meant to be.â He left me standing alone at a high school dance, dateless, in the rain. Okay, fine, it wasnât raining, but I cried so much that it looked like Iâd walked through a storm.
It took me a really long time to move on. Then five months ago he moved to my city where I have had to see his face plastered everywhere I go.
And now heâs right in front of me.
âYou too,â I say, but donât quite meet his gaze.
âThank you for what you did in there.â
âI didnât do it for you.â
His mouth lifts on one side but it isnât quite a smile. âI figured, but Iâm still grateful.â
âShe seems like a good kid.â
âDoes she?â he asks with a bitter laugh as he runs his hand through his dark hair.
Since I donât know how to respond to that, I just nod.
âIs your number still the same?â He pulls his phone from his pocket. When I donât answer, he looks up from the screen at me. âIn case I need to get in contact with you about Everly.â
âOh, uh, if you need anything you should contact Mrs. Best or Kim in the office.â
He taps out something and my phone buzzes in my pocket. Iâm sure he can hear it, but I donât make any move for it.
Tyler wraps his long fingers around his phone and finally smiles at me. Really smiles. With all that teenage Tyler charm I fell in love with four years ago. But thereâs something else in it too. Regret? Pain?
Iâve dreamt about this day. How I would look (ahhh-mazing!), what I would say (oh, so many thingsâall perfect and cutting), and most importantly, the validation I would feel when I realized he no longer makes my body come alive with a single look.
Instead, Iâm standing here in a thrift store dress thatâs a size too big, I canât seem to make anything coherent come out of my mouth, and worst of all his stare still ripples over my skin like electricity.
It pisses me off. All of it.
âI should go before she takes off with my car. It was really good to see you, Piper. I, uhâ¦â He shifts like heâs trying to figure out how to say whatever is on his mind. Eventually he shakes his head. âIâll see you.â
Only when heâs out the front door do I release a breath and pull out my phone to read his text.
You look even more beautiful than you did four years ago.