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***
Ch14: In A Moment Of Distress Cover It Up With Your Girly Mess.
"Grandma Sally was nice," I tell him as I chug down a cup coffee.
I'm running really late today and apparently so is Pipper because he hasn't arrived yet.
"She's always been a really sweet lady," Vincent nods. "With her really bright extravagant colors."
"Yeah," I answer.
So Josh's family dinner was a almost an entire week ago. This is the first time me and Vincent have talked since excluding casual project conversations.
"Elliana," Vincent stands up making his way towards me. "Who died?"
What?
"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.
"When you yelled at me for driving when I was drunk," he speaks. "You talked about everything in such detail and with such emotion that it had to have been a memory...so who died?"
Oh god, he knows.
He knows about Lilo.
"No one," I reply trying my best to fight back tears. "I was just mad and that scenario was the first one to pop into my head. That's all."
"She died didn't she," he talks and it's as if I can hear the sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry."
I don't want your pity Vincent.
"Don't feel sorry for me," I wipe a tear that managed to fall down my cheek "and please don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to look or talk to me the way you are right now. "
"Bair," a voice yells from outside the kitchen.
"I have to go," I grab my backpack, keys, and cellphone before walking out the kitchen.
"There you are," Pipper smiles before he looks at my face. "What's wrong? You look like you're about to cry."
"I'm fine," I say noticing that Josh and Alex are sitting on the couch looking at us.
"Okay," he nods wrapping his arm around my shoulder and I smile at him.
He understands.
***
"He knows?" Pipper asks and I nod as we walk inside the support group building.
"Yeah," I answer. "He figured it out."
"Pipper. . .Elliana," Victor smiles. "How nice of you to join us all late?"
"Sorry," we both mumble as I take my usual seat next to Mick.
"We were sharing," Victor says looking at Mick. "Mickey was just telling us about how he realized he had a problem."
"Well," Mick talks nervously "I decided to join because I obviously have a problem. One day I drank way too much and decided to drive. As I was driving I almost ran someone over, a little boy of the age of four. He was crossing the street to get his ball and I almost took him. The look of fear in the little kid's eyes made my entire body go cold and I can still remember clearly how the tears ran down his face. If I had hit him I think I wouldn't be able to live with myself. That moment made me realize I needed help and I signed up for this support group on my own. "
"Thank you for sharing," Victor says and we all repeat it.
"No problem," Mick answers looking down at his hands and I can tell that telling the story has affected him.
"So Elliana," Victor looks at me. "Tell us about how you're doing."
"I'm doing fine," I answer.
"Have you talked to someone about your sister?" He asks. "Someone outside this group?"
Fuck.
"No," I shake my head.
"Why not?" Victor asks and I gulp.
I don't want the sad puppy eyes or the i-feel-sorry-for-you look.
"People will feel sorry for me," I tell him "and I don't want that.
"I think you don't want to face her death," Victor says and I look down at my hands.
No, that's not true. I did face her death.
"You don't want to tell anyone," he continues "because it makes it real. You left your home which is where it all happened and you got away from the aftermath. So you don't talk about it and you don't tell people because you'd have to face what you ran away from."
I didn't run. I was sent.
"You have to talk to someone," Victor gives me a stern look. "By the end of day and then you'll share how it made you feel. Okay?"
"Okay," I nod feeling a heavy lump in my stomach.
***
"What's wrong?" Alex asks leaning against his locker.
"Nothing," I fake a smile as I shove my history book into my bag.
I'm just trying to find someone to talk to about my dead sister.
Yup, nothing is wrong.
"For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven," Alex says moving closer towards me, a smirk on his face. " Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me."
"Shut up," I say successfully holding back a smile.
Not in the mood.
"You're so beautiful that you made me forget my other pickup line," he smiles moving slightly closer.
"Stop," I shake my head, still being able to hold back a smile.
Okay that was good, but I'm still not in the mood.
"If I had a star for every time you brightened my day," Alex smirks. "I'd have a galaxy in my hand."
This time, I break a smile not being able to hold it back anymore.
Damn it.
Well, what can I say? The guy is good with words.
"You're an idiot," I smile and he smiles back.
"But I managed to make you smile," he says. "So I'm a successful idiot. . . . who you dream of at night."
"Okay," I roll my eyes.
Should I tell him?
"I hate seeing you sad," Alex wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Everything okay?"
Should I?
"Yeah," I lie.
"Good," he smiles. "Now let's get off this gloomy mood. I hate sad stuff."
Right.
***
"I found one more source," Vinny says as I take my seat in our history class.
"That's good," I take a hold of the folder he has on his hand before opening it.
It's an essay written by a historian on the long term effects of the War of 1812.
This is good.
"This is a good source," I nod approvingly before handing him the folder back. "Put it with the others and then when you have all five I'll put everything in the power point."
"Okay," he nods as he turns to walk away, but before he makes it to his seat he comes back.
"Elliana," he says and I can already tell where this is going.
"Stop," I say "we don't talk about it. I don't talk about it. So let's not."
"Hey," Pipper smiles coming towards us to take his seat.
"Whatever," Vincent shrugs before storming towards his seat.
"What's up with him?" Pipper asks and I pretend to be confused.
"I don't know," I shrug as Taylor comes to take her seat.
"So," Taylor grins "this new movie is coming out and I want to go see it."
"We should go," Pipper chirps and I smile.
"You guys go ahead," I shake my head. "I don't really feel up to it."
"At six?" Pipper asks and Taylor nods excitedly.
They're so cute.
"Okay," she continues to grin.
Should I talk to Taylor?
She counts, right?
"I'm having such a great day," Taylor says. "Don't ruin it guys."
I know she's just joking, but she's right. I don't want to ruin her day, especially if she's having a date with Pipper today.
***
"Princess," Josh smiles as I walk towards the front door of the house.
"Hey dillweed," I open the door and walk inside.
"Want to get some take out?" He asks closing the door behind him. "Alex has a late football practice and Vinny won't be home til later."
I'm not really hungry.
"Not right now," I shake my head. "I just kinda want to go to bed."
"You're not going to eat anything?" He questions, a big frown on his face.
"I'll get some dinner later," I nod.
"Is everything okay princess?" He frowns further.
I should tell Josh, right?
He won't feel sorry.
"I...," I start, but it's as if the rest of the sentence won't form.
Just say it Elliana.
"What is it?" He looks at me worried.
"My...um," I begin, but the rest of sentence won't come out.
My sister Lilo is dead.
Just say it.
"You're worrying me," he says. "You can tell me what's wrong."
I can tell him.
God, I didn't think this would be so hard.
"My. . . .she. . . .," I stop, once again the sentence getting stuck at the tip of my tongue.
I can't.
"My abdomen hurts," I lie and he looks at me confused.
"Do you want to go to the doctor?" He asks and I shake my head.
"Oh no," I smile nervously. "It's just that time of the month."
Really Elliana?
How did you manage to make this about your period?
Face palm.
"Right," he says awkwardly. "I'm just gonna go get some food."
"You do that," I nod as he walks out the house.
I'm not even on my period.
***
"Why is this so hard?" I ask Pipper.
"I don't know," he answers. "Maybe because you haven't accepted it."
"Not you too," I roll my eyes. "I accepted her death and I moved on."
"Have you talked to someone?" He asks and I can tell he's smirking.
"No," I answer getting closer to edge of the roof and letting my feet hang off.
"I'm talking to you about it," I say and I hear him chuckle.
"No you're not," he says. "We're only talking about how you haven't talked to anyone about it. Besides I don't count."
"Whatever," I take a deep breath. "How was your date with Taylor?"
"It wasn't a date," he answers. "We're just friends, but we had fun. The movie was good."
"Are sure you're just friends?" I ask, a playful smile on my face.
"Yes," he exclaims, a little too defensively.
"Okay," I roll my eyes as I look down towards the driveway and spot an old black Jeep parking.
"We are just friends," he continues to defend himself and I lean forward to get a better look at the car. The front door opens and a dark figure gets down.
Vincent?
"She doesn't even see me like that," Pipper speaks, still defending himself.
I continue follow the figure as it reaches the front door of the house and unlocks it before going in.
"She probably likes football players or basketball players," he continues.
"Pipper what time is it?" I ask interrupting him.
"Midnight, " he replies.
Why is he barely getting home?
"I have to go," I tell Pipper before hanging up.
I quickly climb back inside my room and close the window.
I should just go to bed, right?
It's late.
***
I find myself laying in bed starring at the roof above me.
I should get a drink of water.
I quickly climb out of the bed, grab my phone, and make my way out the door. As I walk down the hall I see a light coming from Vincent's room.
He's still awake.
Who cares, right?
I continue to walk making my way towards the stairs, but as I reach his room I stop.
No Elliana, keep walking.
I place my hand against the door and take a deep breath.
Keep walking Elliana.
I take my hand away before making a fist and preparing myself to knock.
Don't do it Elliana.
I quickly knock on the door and as soon as I hear his footsteps I regret it.
Damn it Elliana.
"Kitten," he says as soon as he opens the door.
"Her name was Lilo," I find myself saying as I stare into his deep green eyes.
A/N: Hey Everyone!!!! I'm back with this quick update. I hope you all liked it.
I'll update soon...
QOTC: what do you think Vincent/Vinny will say?
Comment & Vote
Love, Pam
October 24, 2016.