Chapter 65: Chapter 64: So Push Me Wine (2)

Burgess stumbled backward in disbelief. The glass of alcohol slipped out of his hand, crashing to the floor—it was only half empty.

“Urgh… you got real talent-hic!”

Sans pushed his own glass away in distaste.

The taste never got any better. Chenbo that liar.

He had lost count how many glasses he had drunk, but his eyes were crystal clear like two orbs of ice, free of impurities.

“I’m just gonna, take a nap here.”

Burgess pressed his back against the wall, allowing his large frame to slide down to the safety of the floor. The next moment, his eyes were shut tight and a stream of snores followed.

“Incredible. I didn’t think you could actually drink him under.”

Chenbo commented as he watched the veteran succumb to a peaceful slumber. Burgess wasn’t the only one to have found comfort with the floor, as every other man was also sleeping away their drunken stupor. It was like a mess of pigs and bears, kicking in their sleep as they fought off their dreams.

“Well… me neither.”

Sans shrugged innocently. This wasn’t the first time he had noticed his body’s uncommon interaction with toxins, but he didn’t think it would have applied to alcohol as well.

“It’s just you and me now. Sorry that I couldn’t keep playing earlier. After all, I still have to ensure Prince Marlow makes it back safely.”

It the midst of all the chaos, it was Chenbo who had maintained his decency and level-headedness. He rubbed his chin as he gazed at Sans.

“You know, it’s strange.”

“What is?”

Sans sat back in his chair, simmering in his victory.

“You’ve really never kissed a girl? What about that lass you’re with.”

“Hah?! Elsie?!”

Chenbo grinned upon seeing Sans’ reaction.

“Yea, I can see that she likes you. You guys are close, you know that?”

Sans immediately waved his hands about in denial.

“You have no idea how much of a demon she is! Remember that volcano?”

“Uh… the one you fell into?”

“The very same. I didn’t fall into the volcano by accident—she pushed me in!”

Chenbo’s expression rapidly changed to one of terror.

“She pushed you in?!”

“Yea, and that’s not all! One time she made me explore the depths of an ocean! And another time she tossed me into this abyss-like wilderness. Every step was heavy, almost like having a massive boulder strapped to my back!”

Chenbo grimaced before grasping the glass before him, immediately drinking half of it.

“Why didn’t you tell me she’s a demoness before I spoke badly of her!”

“I tried telling you!”

“Oh wonderful and great angel, sent to us by the heavens, please forgive our transgressions and show mercy.”

Chenbo clasped his hands together in prayer. The next moment, both men broke out into silly smiles. Chenbo relaxed into his chair, cradling the back of his head between his hands.

“Still, you guys have something there.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Heh, you might be all powerful, but it seems you’re still lacking. Is this where I have you beat?”

Chenbo revealed a sly smirk, and for some reason it irked Sans to see it.

“Don’t you know about the different stages of a relationship?”

“Different…stages?”

Sans shook his head.

“Why would there be stages? If two people like each other, shouldn’t they be together?”

“Noo, you idiot. There’s stages! The first stage is when you go from complete strangers to acquaintances!”

Sans pursed his lips in thought, but Chenbo continued speaking.

“How could you know if you like someone if you’re just strangers? You have to get close to them, understand them deeper. Who are they really—on the inside.”

“But… doesn’t someone just chase whoever they think is attractive? That’s what happened with me-“

Chenbo palmed his forehead.

“How could I have forgotten. Some people are just born different. Listen here, if you chase after someone purely off their appearance… what happens if they’re a nasty person. Deceitful perhaps, maybe hateful. What if they’re the type of person that would toss you aside at the slightest convenience?”

Sans listened silently, gaining a new perspective on the world. At the same time, he realized that Chenbo must have a shocking amount of experience in this area!

“So… explain these stages for me then.”

Sans leaned closer, intrigued.

“Heh, I thought you might be interested. The next stage is friendship. In the world of courtship, friendship can mean many things. From what I’ve seen with Prince Marlow… friendship can even mean intimacy.”

“Intimacy? You mean like-”

“Like sharing a kiss with your new friend! Understand now?”

Sans thought back to Prince Marlow and the two women that clung to him.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

I see! So they were just friends?

He sat back in his chair, his eyes roaming the room in thought.

“So friends, what’s next?”

“Wait a minute, I’m not done. Friends can mean different things depending on the person. Would you say that you and your lady are friends?”

“M-My lady? …no?”

Sans stuttered as he gave a confused response. Chenbo crossed his arms over his chest with a disappointed gaze.

“Really? Then what is she to you?”

“She… I’m not sure. She just suddenly appeared in my life. I was coerced into a soul contract with a terrifying woman and doomed to be her slave, but one day I woke up and Elsie was my new master. It is odd though, if you ask me. I’m still not sure how she managed to convince-”

“Wait, that woman is your master? But all the rumors said you were a couple…”

“Rumors?”

Sans asked in confusion. Chenbo let out a sigh and kneaded his forehead.

“The court gossip amongst the maids… forget it. Let’s just move on to the next stage.”

“The one after friendship, right?”

“Yes, after friendship comes this weird phase. It’s like a mixture of friendship and longing. If you ever find yourself constantly thinking about someone, you might just be in this stage of the relationship.”

Sans nodded sincerely with furrowed brows.

“This might be it then. Because I’m always thinking about her.”

He muttered, still nodding his head.

“Huh? So you’re already beyond friends?! Do you think about her day and night, dreaming just to feel her touch, to bask in her presence? Is it a terrible ache in your heart that you simply can’t avoid, no matter how much you try?”

Sans recoiled back upon hearing Chenbo’s descriptions.

“Uh… no. More like whether or not she’ll try to kill me by throwing me into another volcano…”

The two men went silent, before Chenbo sighed for the umpteenth time.

“The day you find a romantic partner, is the day the world is turned upside down.”

“Is that a good thing?”

After a pause, they both broke out in laughter.

“Alright, whatever. The next stage is love. Now this one can mean many things, but… heh.”

One side of Chenbo’s mouth curled upward into a confident smile. His eyes shown with a certain level of understanding, one that eluded Sans as if he were left out on some inside joke.

“Let me guess, you and the girl you want me to save, that’s love? Explain then.”

“Explain what? Love?”

Sans shrugged before responding.

“You’re the ‘all knowing’ one, teach me.”

“Teach you love? Hmm… let me put it this way. I would be willing to fight an impossible battle to see her to safety. I would be willing to combat an entire army alone, if I knew it would grant her a future. Even if my greatest fears stood in between me and my love, I would conquer them then and there.”

Chenbo sipped on his drink, but his darkened eyes only spoke truth.

“I see… so what’s next then?”

Sans asked curiously.

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“What comes after love?”

Chenbo stared at Sans in confusion, but after a few sincere moments he realized that it was an earnest question.

“Heh, you know what? I’m not sure! How about this, when I figure out what comes after love, you’ll be the first one to know. Deal?”

Sans grinned and he nodded in approval.

“Deal. Don’t forget either.”

“Eh, what’s have we here? A couple o’ love experts?”

A voice gushing with dizziness, called out from the door. Chenbo glanced over, immediately standing up upon seeing the newcomer.

“Master Tonfe!”

He gave the bulbous man a swift and formal bow.

“Eh-heh, don’t mind, don’t mind, but who did a number on Burgess here?”

Sans raised his hand.

“It was a drinking game.”

He explained, but Tonfe laughed in response.

“Ho-ho, I know it’s a drinking game, but you ought to pick on someone your own size!”

Tonfe’s voice bellowed out. While it may have seemed threatening, the excitement within was difficult to disguise.

“Um… you’re at least four times my size… maybe more.”

Sans quietly muttered while pointing to his belly. Tonfe paused for a moment, glancing down at his own body in shock.

“So it would seem! Baha! We’ll put that behind us and play a new game! Just you and I… what do you say?”

Tonfe’s smile was so wide that his eyes seemed to be buried within the fat of his cheeks, but nonetheless, Sans was able to sense the gleam and sharpness within.

“I will have to respectfully decline. I don’t want to drink any more of that disgusting liquid.”

Sans vehemently shook his head as he pointed to the frothing glass on the table.

“Oh that… no, no. That won’t get us anywhere, now would it? Not for aged old monsters like us.”

Tonfe’s laughter rung out once more, but Sans was taken aback.

“Excuse me?”

Sans questioned him, and for the first time the jolly man grew solemn.

“What. You can’t fool these old eyes. Although I can’t see through your disguise, I know you have one. There’s only one type of man that wears a disguise like yours, parading around like some young buck.”

Tonfe’s words came out as a sober stream of speculation, but the next moment he was back to swooning smiles and hearty laughter.

“It’s okay to be ugly! By gods, if I was ugly I would have done the same! Bahaha!”

He slapped his enormous belly, causing a wave of fat to reverberate throughout his body.

“Hah… right.”

Sans slinked back into his chair with a light smile. The next moment, Tonfe pulled out a wine barrel from his storage ring, slamming it down on the floor next to him.

“This here, is from my private collection. It’s very strong stuff, but way better than that brew over there.”

He punched a hole through the barrel’s top, letting its exotic aroma to fill the room. After just a few moments, Chenbo’s eyelids had already drooped low, his expression one of happiness and intoxication.

“Hold on, let me just…”

Chenbo struggled up from his seat. After taking a few staggered steps, he collapsed right onto Burgess and succumbed to the wonderful embrace of sleep.

“Bahaha! He couldn’t even handle this much, eh? Burgess would have lasted a little longer!”

Tonfe lifted the barrel and brought it beside Sans. He pushed away the chairs, opting to sit on the floor with his legs sprawled out. Even while sitting on the floor, the man was so large that he was still a couple heads taller than Sans.

“What’s the history between you and Burgess?”

Sans asked as he glanced back and forth between the two.

“Huh, oh Burgess? That lad. He’s a sad tale. He was once the King Olgren’s personal guard, but after a certain injury… I remember when they were just wee boys, him and Olgren.”

“You knew King Olgren when he was a kid?”

Tonfe smiled mysteriously before pouring a cup of wine and placing it before Sans.

“I’ll tell you more, but you have to split this barrel with me! It’s never fun to drink alone!”

Sans picked up the glass and eyed the almost nearly black liquid. He brought it to his lips and took a single sip.

This…

His eyes widened as he rolled the fruity drink around his tongue.

Is it my imagination? Or did it heighten my senses?

Tonfe stared at Sans suspiciously, before breaking out into a wholehearted smile.

“Wonderful! A new drinking partner is born! A toast!”

At some unknown moment, Tonfe had conjured another glass and filled it with wine. He reached out and with a soft clink, touched the two cups together. He then took a sip of his own before placing it down.

“I knew Olgren when he was a kid yes, along with that little rat Karbone. Eheh, Olgren used to call me Uncle Ton-fee-fee. That is… until he awakened his blood magic.”

Sans closed his eyes as he took another sip of the wine. It smoothly coated his mouth with another layer of intoxicating juice. For some reason he even felt slightly dizzy, but that was a side effect he was willing to ignore.

“Blood magic, you said? What’s that about?”

“Ooh, the blood magic. Nasty business, that stuff. Before Olgren awakened his blood magic, he was a simple lad. He trained hard and stood with square shoulders. ‘Twas the week before he was to begin his journey through the tower. I remember it too well.”

The two sipped from their cups once more, and Tonfe continued.

“Olgren and Karbone went out to the wildlands some way away from here. It was just a fun little adventure before they would move to the second floor. However, when they returned—Olgren was different. It wasn’t the same Olgren that I once knew. I could sense it in his eyes, no matter how much he tried to hide it.”

Tonfe let out a despairing sigh and tears collected in his eyes.

“That little bastard no longer called me Uncle Ton-fee-fee from that day forward! I bet it was the awakening, making him feel superior.”

He wiped away the tears and took another sip, only to realize his glass was empty—and his wasn’t the only one.

“Oh… more wine?”

Tonfe courtesy refilled both glasses and continued speaking.

“Anyway, he was still a great friend. Even becoming much more well-mannered as time went on. Heh, I even fought side by side with him during the Void Wars… but that’s a story for bored ears.”

Sans carefully cradled the glass of wine in his hands and brought his feet up onto the chair. Hiding behind his knees, he took another sip of wine. His cheeks were flushed red and a pleased smile hung on his lips.

“You’re really holdin’ on there!”

Tonfe laughed as he spied Sans sink further into his chair.

“Am I? hic!”

“Yes, yes! A talent that must be cultivated, if I must say…”

Sans nodded vigorously as he stared into the beautiful liquid. His eyes glowed as he stared at it. Time seemed to ebb and flow in a most disorienting fashion.

“So there I was, surrounded by fifteen… no thirty voidlings! With no escape, we fought tooth and nail…”

Tonfe’s voice blurred with the background, but Sans didn’t mind. With one last sip, he gave way to a peaceful slumber.