^^^Listen While Reading^^^
Chapter-themed (also I love this song so much rn yall don't understand)
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All Hazel's friends were busy, and both Leah and Emilia had already gotten their dresses for the winter formal, so Hazel and I decided to go to the mall together to look for ours. Because we're friends, and that's what friends do for one another.
"Who'd you go with last year?" Hazel asks as I get out of the car.
"Leah," I say, putting my keys into my pocket.
Hazel raises her eyebrows. "Oh."
"As friends," I add. For some reason, I feel the need to explain. "We both didn't have anyone to go with, so we decided to go together."
"Hm." Hazel hums, looking away.
We enter the mall, and I look at her. "Who did you go with?"
"Oh, I didn't go last year." She says casually as she scans the names of the stores we walk past. It's one of the bigger malls, half indoor and half outdoor, with a nice food court.
My eyes almost jump out of my skull. "You didn't go?!"
She glances at me and shakes her head, then stops walking and examines the store in front of her. With interest, she heads inside and I follow her.
"ButâHow could you not go? It's the one thing that makes going to our school worth it." I ask. I'm basically speaking to her back as she eyes the clothes on the rack.
She shrugs. "I didn't see a reason to. Home life wasn't great, and I didn't have anything to wear."
"Oh," I say.
"I also didn't have anyone to go with," she adds.
I'm about to say 'oh' again, but then I realize her implications that she now does have someone to go with.
"Who are you going with this year?" I ask tentatively. I honestly don't want her to answer.
"Evan," she says, pulling out a short, cream-colored dress and admiring it.
I blink.
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I look at her. "I didn't know you guys were a thing."
She puts the dress back and looks at me. "We're not."
I squint my eyes a little. "But you're always with him. And he definitely likes you."
Hazel shakes her head, looking back at the rack of expensive-looking dresses. "He doesn't like me."
I raise my brows. "Are you sure, Hazel? Have you seen the way he looks at you?"
She looks up at me, narrowing her eyes. "I'm one hundred percent sure he does not like me."
I blink again.
"Alright," I say. I can't place the tone of her voiceâit's like a mixture of sadness, or irritationâbut it's not positive. "Is that bad? Do you . . . like him?"
"No? Casey, we're going as friends."
I give her a blank stare. "Oh," I say again. "Okay."
Hazel lifts an eyebrow, before acknowledging the rest of the store. "What are you going to wear?"
Pushing my hands into the pockets of my jeans, I shrug, looking around the store. "Dunno. I haven't thought about it yet."
"Do you have someone you're going to match with?" She asks.
"No," I say, looking at her.
"Do you have someone in mind?" She persists. "Or are you going to go alone?"
I look away and purse my lips before looking back at her. "Good question. Maybe I should just go with Leah again."
Something in her expression shifts ever so slightly. "Oooh. Maybe that's not such a good idea. You should try doing something different. Turn over a new leaf, you know?"
"Hm. Maybe." I say. "But dresses are off the table."
Hazel's lips curve into a smile. "Sure. The other side of the store has dress clothes that you can use to make your outfit."
I grin. "Okay. Meet you at the fitting rooms in an hour."
I walk over to the other part of the store. It's nice, and I feel like it's more my style. I pick out a few things: a sleek black button-up vest and a white, long-sleeved dress shirt to go underneath; a burgundy suit jacket with a black dress shirt; a navy blue long-sleeved button-down with a deep chest section.
I also pick a few dress pants to match each top.
I was genuinely thinking about going with Leah again because we had a great time the last time we went together. But now that I know Hazel's going with this Evan kid, I feel like asking someone random to be my date.
A young saleswoman walks up to me. "Do you need any help with your shopping today?"
"Oh no, I'm fine," I say, flashing her a smile. "Thanks."
The saleswoman nods, her cheeks slightly red, and disappears.
A bit confused, I turn with the stack of clothes in my hands and head to the fitting rooms. After setting my things on the bench outside, I wait for Hazel.
I cannot tell if a room is occupied or not, since all five doors are closed.
"Ugh. Fuck me." An annoyed voice comes through one of the fitting room doors.
It takes me a second to register that it's Hazel and that she had indeed gotten here before me and I was waiting for nothing. It takes me another second to mentally slap myself for having my mind in the gutter.
I walk to the door I heard her from, and rap my knuckle softly on the door. "Hazel? I didn't know you were already here."
"I shop with purpose," comes her muffled response.
"Are you okay in there?" I ask after I hear more annoyed grunting.
"Yeah." I hear her say. "But the dress is stuck, I think."
"Do you want help?"
There is a beat of silence, then, "Sure, okay."
As I open the door my breath catches. She's in a dark red dress with a slit that rests high on her left leg, and it reaches to the floor. My gaze trails up her figure. It's a slim fit around her waist that tightens around her chest. And it's fucking strapless.
She watches me in the mirror with pink cheeks, and I draw in a breath.
"What did you need help with?" I ask.
"The back won't close. I think it's too small." She says.
I walk up behind her, fighting to contain my beating heart. "Let me see."
Leaning back a bit, I examine the zipper, making sure to keep my eyes on just her back. It's halfway zipped up, and I see the problem immediately. The zipper is caught in a bit of the fabric.
"Oh, it's fine. It's just caught." I say.
I use both hands to free the centimeter of fabric from the zipper teeth, and then it zips easily all the way up.
Pretending not to notice the way the top tightens and pushes her chest up, I mutter, "There we go. All fixed."
I look at her in the mirror. She stares at me, eyes dark. Confusion crosses my features, and she speaks.
"Thanks," she says, cheeks still a light pink.
I'm still standing behind her. I don't know where the courage comes from, but I gently rest my hand on her waist.
"I think you should get this one," I mumble.
Her cheeks turn a darker, more prominent pink, and she looks at my hand in the mirror.
"Why is that?"
"I think it looks good," I say. Somehow, without knowing, my other hand finds its way onto her waist, and I don't know what to do.
I don't think my heart has even been beating for the past five minutes.
Hazel raises her hands and takes both of mine, pulling them slowly around her, my front coming into contact with her back.
"But you haven't even seen the other ones yet," she says, a smirk hinting on her lips.
I can barely hear her through the intense pounding in my ears from my heart. We're so close. Too close. I might do something I'll end up regretting.
"What are you doing to me, Hazel?" I whisper into her ear.
She feigns innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Her forearms rest on top of mine, which are wrapped around her waist. She wants to pretend like nothing's happening? Fine, I'll show her 'nothing'.
"Then perhaps I'm mistaken," I say, looking at her. She smells so good, like the Golden Eclipse fragrance from Bath & Body Works. (Not sponsored it just smells really good)
Hazel stares at me, chewing on her lower lip. "Perhaps."
"Hm." I hum, stepping away from her. "You should continue trying on dresses, or whatever."
She watches me pull my hands off her and push them into my pockets. Taking one last look at her, I turn and leave the room, shutting the door quietly behind me.
What just happened?
~~~
"AHHHH!" someone squeals.
Coach has already given up trying to get us to focus. She sits at the bench, scribbling on her clipboard while we mess around on the field. The winter formal is this Saturday, and we're all too excited to do anything; though some of us more than others.
"What did he say?" Eliora asks Maddie, her hands clasped together excitedly.
Maddie's surrounded by almost the entire team. She stands there; her face red with a shy smile. She shrugs timidly. "He just held up a sign that said 'All I want for Christmas is to go to 'Win-Fo' with you'." She answers.
"And he played the song by Mariah Carey," Leah adds, standing next to her.
"Aww, that's so cute!"
Maddie shrugs again, still blushing.
It is cute. And it's funny how embarrassed she is that the entire team now knows she got asked to the formal. We all love Maddie; she's like our baby, partly because she's the only sophomore on the varsity soccer team.
"What are you guys going to wear?" I ask.
"Um, I don't know . . . I should probably ask, right?" Maddie says.
"Probably." I shrug. "You don't want to show up in the opposite colors."
Maddie loosens up as we laugh about how generic Tanner's poster was, and Emilia joins in on making fun of his unoriginality, exposing how her boyfriend Marco had to work on it with him.
After practice, I tell Leah about my predicament.
"You want a date to Win-Fo?" She echoes. "This is kind of last minute."
"I know," I say. "But please, Leah."
She snickers. "You sound so desperate."
I narrow my eyes at her, but she pretends not to notice.
"I can set you up with a girl in my history class." Leah offers. "Her name's Melanie. I think she liked you at one point."
My jaw slightly falls open as Leah sets both her soccer bag and school bag on the ground, looking for her car keys. "And you didn't tell me?"
Leah waves her hand in the air, dismissing my question. "Oh, cut the act. I know you like Hazel too much to care." She says, and I frown. "And besides, you wouldn't have done anything about it."
"I might've," I protest.
She gives me a sharp 'be for real' look before standing back up, keys in hand. "You're too scared of rejection, Casey. You would only push her away so she couldn't leave you first."
"I . . ." She's partially right.
"Just like you're doing to Hazel right now." She adds. After unlocking the car, Leah pulls open the door.
"I am not. She already has a date." I say through my teeth, my voice bitter. "I can't control that; she clearly likes him."
Leah arches a brow. "Did she tell you that?"
"No . . ." I mumble, looking at the road.
"Then, no, she doesn't."
We enter the car and exit the school parking lot. Leah connects her phone to the car and starts playing music, leaving me to my thoughts.
While I may fear rejection, I don't believe that's the problem. I think I just stopped believing that anyone could like me back. I consider myself to be very realistic, and from years of experience, the chance that a crush could feel the same seems highly unlikely. So I decided it was a waste of my time to try to pursue them.
And besides, I'm focusing on college now. I don't need drama.
Things are already going so well. Losing Hazel would complicate everything.
A/N:
I'm so glad it's Thanksgiving "break" I was boutta crash out.
Please vote thank you
Love y'all!!!!!
<3