Chapter 284: Book 4 Chapter 41.3: Everything Everywhere All At Once

The door to the lair already had a pretty sturdy lock on it, but Vell called up a quick defensive barrier with a rune anyway. Somebody out there had summoned a demon, and Vell just didn’t feel like dealing with one of those for the fourth time today.

“Okay, I think we’ve got the worst of the worst locked down,” Harley said. “We can at least get through the rest of the day with only minimal risk of exploding.”

The entire building rattled.

“Moderate risk of exploding,” Harley corrected. “How’s your thing going?”

“Pretty good,” Kim says. “Freddy thinks he can get his memory-wipe thingy going soon.”

It was difficult to tell if the haphazardly assembled device was complete or not, given its cobbled-together nature, but Freddy assured them it was almost done.

“Speaking of, Alex, tap them into Freddy, would you?”

“On it,” Alex said. For the purposes of keeping Freddy sane, she had cast a spell to make sure he couldn’t hear anything said by anyone other than her or Kim. She readjusted her spellcraft to loop Lee, Vell, and Harley into the mix. With his hearing adjusted, Freddy finally noticed their presence.

“Oh, hi! Harley, did you know I have a girlfriend?”

“In fact I do, Frizzle,” Harley said. “You begged me for advice on how to date for like an hour.”

“I did?”

“He did?”

“Yes, he did,” Harley said. She gave Alex a quick pat on the head. “Apparently you’re quite the catch, he was very stressed about fumbling you.”

Alex and Freddy both turned bright red, and Freddy went back to his work on the device.

“So we’re really committing to wiping everyone’s memories, then,” Vell said. “That seems like it’s a little bit across our usual ethical boundaries.”

“They’re going to forget they forgot,” Harley said.

“Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t recommend this plan, but things are far from normal,” Lee said. “A few hours of lost memory is our only way of undoing the far worse damage of the- of Kraid’s revelation.”

Lee glanced sideways at Freddy to remind herself to choose her words carefully.

“It’s not good, but it’s the best of several bad options,” Lee concluded.

“I know,” Vell grunted. “I just have to bitch about it anyway. Helps keep the moral compass pointing north.”

“I love that you always strap on your climbing gear before heading for any slippery slopes, but sometimes you just got to slip,” Harley said. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll push the button. I won’t even remember it.”

“I was going to push the button,” Freddy said. “It’s a big button.”

“We can push it together, bud.”

“Please don’t push buttons with my boyfriend,” Alex said.

“Weird boundary, but alright.”

Since she would not be remembering any of this anyway, Harley chose to sit down and relax, and let Freddy have his solo button-pushing. Lee and Vell joined her at the table.

“With the risk of exploding minimized-”

The island rumbled again.

“Moderatized, I suppose now we need to focus on that research,” Lee said.

“If we still want to get help, we’re going to need to help at least a few people reorient themselves,” Vell said. “A gap in their memory won’t do much to help them cope with dead friends and cockroach men.”

“I think we’re going to have to settle for the personal approach, dear,” Lee said. “Most of the friends we would’ve called on aren’t exactly ‘intact’. Freddy is in the best shape and even he’s down two years worth of brainpower.”

“I’m still very smart,” Freddy said. Alex nodded in agreement.

“I know, darling, but you’d be even smarter with two more years of memories in your head,” Lee said.

“We’re not entirely out of luck,” Vell said. “We haven’t spotted Joan yet.”

Despite the fact that her education had been cut short, years of obsession meant that Joan’s knowledge about Vell’s rune was second only to Vell himself. As much as he respected the intelligence of Cane and Luke and all his other friends, Joan had the most applicable knowledge to the matter at hand.

“Well, I’m afraid that given past experience,” Lee mumbled. “There might be a very good reason we haven’t seen Joan.”

“Oh. Right.”

Joan had heard of the loops once already, at the end of last year, and all of the violent, destructive tendencies others were currently experiencing had also manifested in her -albeit aimed entirely inward. Without Lee on hand to immediately intervene, that suicidal mania might’ve been expressed more directly.

“We should at least have someone go check,” Vell said.

“I can take a look,” Harley said. “I’m not much good for rune bullshit, and I’ll be the least emotionally shattered if, well, you know.”

“We know indeed.”

Something slammed into the door of the lair. Vell and company tried to ignore it, in the hopes it was some wayward robot or demon bashing on accident, but whatever had bashed soon bashed again, and then a third time. Definitely intentional. Vell got up and braced himself near the door, with Kim taking up the other side.

“Who’s there and what do you want?”

“Joan, and I want to save the fucking world.”

Lee hopped out of her seat. Perhaps she had underestimated Joan’s resolve after all. Vell opened the door, and Lee quickly lowered her hopes.

“Joan. You’re alive,” Lee noted. “And also in your undergarments.”

“It was necessary for the stealth mission,” said the nearly-naked Joan. “Everyone looks away when they see people in their underwear.”

“That’s almost a sane thing to say,” Harley said. “Are you still on the stealth mission or can you put some pants on?”

“I don’t have any pants.”

Vell reached into his bookbag to procure some pants from their extradimensional storage space. Thankfully for everyone involved, Joan put them on, and a shirt as well.

“Okay, now let’s talk about your stealth mission,” Vell said. “What was the mission, exactly?”

“Capturing an enemy VIP,” Joan said. She reached into her bra and removed a complicated rune sequence. Vell recognized runes similar to the ones he used to summon his guns and other tools, but slightly expanded to create a kind of impromptu portal. “One second.”

Joan pumped magical energy into the rune sequence. It crackled with unstable energy, reflecting her currently unstable state, and then flared to life, creating a temporary portal to another place. It only flared for a few seconds, but those few seconds were enough for the intended target to be pulled through. With a pained gasp, Helena Marsh fell to floor.

“Helena?”

She took a deep breath and then clawed her way to her knees, which was all she could manage. Her brace was powered down, limiting her ability to move on her own.

“I have been in that fucking pocket dimension,” Helena snapped. “For thirty minutes!”

“Joan, you kidnapped your sister?”

“Joan has a sister?” Freddy said.

“Yes, long story,” Alex whispered to him. “Just roll with it.”

“Yeah, I kidnapped my sister,” Joan said. She sounded almost proud.

“Fuck you,” Helena spat. “And fuck the rest of you too. At least you got her to put some damn pants on.”

“It was necessary for the stealth mission!”

“Joan, why the fuck would you kidnap Helena?” Vell pleaded. “What does this accomplish?”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“She knows everything about Kraid’s evil plan to turn the world into spaghetti,” Joan said.

“He’s not trying to turn the world into spaghetti, darling,” Lee said.

“Oh. Fettucine?”

“Also no.”

“Linguine, then,” Joan said.

“No pasta whatsoever.”

“Oh,” Joan said. “Well, whatever he’s doing, she knows about it, and she can tell us.”

“Can but won’t,” Helena spat. “Now let me out of here.”

Kim moved herself between Helena and the door.

“No, pasta-insanity aside, I think Joan’s on to something,” Kim said. “If we want to get an advantage over Kraid, Helena is the way to do it.”

“Almost correct, except for one small detail,” Helena said. Her lopsided jaw was split in a scowl. “You’ve got no fucking way to get anything out of me. I certainly won’t tell you willingly, and my existence is already more torturous than anything you could possibly do to me.”

“You haven’t met me yet, baby,” Harley said. “I can be pretty fucking annoying.”

“Try me,” Helena said.

“Stop it, Harley,” Vell said. “She’s right. If Helena was going to tell us anything, it’d have to be willingly. And she’s not going to be feeling particularly willing right now.”

“Thank god you’ve had the first correct thought in your entire lifetime,” Helena said. “Now let me go.”

Vell gestured towards the door. Kim didn’t move.

“Oh, we’re not done yet,” Kim said. She nodded towards the back of the room. Vell turned to look, and saw Freddy standing silently, with his hand raised. Harley gave him the nod.

“Go ahead, Fred.”

“At the risk of saying the most flagrantly unethical thing I’ll probably ever say...I am standing in front of a memory modification device,” Freddy said. “It wouldn’t take much change to...you know.”

Freddy held a closed fist to his head and pulled it away, mimicking the act of taking something out of his own head. All eyes turned back to Helena.

“Don’t you dare,” she hissed.

“We’re already toeing a very rough line here, guys, I don’t think we should do this,” Vell said.

“We’re also dealing with our own lives, and potentially the fate of the human race,” Lee said. “I don’t think we can discount it offhand.”

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission,” Harley said. “I’d be perfectly happy if Helena decided she wanted to be buddy-buddy, but it looks like that’s not happening.”

“She’s not a lost cause yet,” Vell said. “Right, Joan?”

“No, she’s not,” Joan said. Vell let a brief smile flicker on his face, but then Joan kept talking. “But I’m not willing to let other people get hurt for her sake. I’ve done too much damage that way already.”

Helena looked like she was about to vomit, and not for the usual medical reasons.

“You showed up half-naked and ranting about pasta, I’m not entirely sure we’re counting your vote,” Vell said. Helena’s stomach settled a bit. Vell had a point: that was not what Joan might think under normal circumstances. “Freddy, you’re the one who can build this device, what do you think?”

“I’m not sure I comprehend what’s at stake here well enough to have an opinion,” Freddy said. “But I trust you guys enough to do what you ask me to. Whatever that is.”

“Since it seems to be coming to a vote, I don’t believe we should extract anyone’s memories against their will,” Alex said. “Not even Helena’s.”

“On the other hand, I am pro-memory extraction,” Kim said. Only in this rare circumstance, but still. “Which, if I am interpreting Lee correctly, puts us at three to two.”

Lee nodded in agreement, but Vell shook his head.

“Like it or not, Helena gets a vote in this,” Vell said. “Three to three. Tie goes in favor of not fucking with someone’s head.”

“Let me call Hawke and Samson,” Kim said. Helena rolled her eyes.

“We don’t have time to consult every fucking person we know,” Vell said. “So let’s not do the incredibly unethical thing, and let Helena go.”

Helena rolled her eyes even harder. She’d almost rather have her thoughts sucked out than listen to Vell waffle.

“Vell, we’re working with a serious gap here, and this might be our last chance to close it,” Kim said. “We can’t waste the opportunity.”

“This isn’t an opportunity, Kim, it’s a fucking crime,” Vell said. “Like, there is a worryingly lax code of ethics on this island and non-consensual experimentation is still against the rules, that’s how wrong it is.”

“A crime with no consequences and a lot of benefits,” Harley said. “And, frankly, committed on someone who maybe a little bit deserves it.”

“Hey,” Joan barked.

“What? You had to go through the wringer to realize you were a piece of shit, maybe this is what Helena needs too,” Harley said.

Helena sat on the sidelines and invented new ways to roll her eyes. She started to play a countdown in her head of when Vell would buckle.

“I don’t believe that’s a helpful argument, Harley,” Lee said. “We need to look at his logically.”

“Logically, I would feel like shit for the rest of my life if I did this,” Vell said. “I am not stealing anything from anyone’s memories. Do we even know that the process would be safe?”

“It doesn’t matter all that much, bud,” Kim said. Helena started the countdown. The loop would erase all consequences, so in three, two, one...

“It always matters,” Vell said. “We don’t hurt people, even when we could get away with it.”

Helena narrowed her eyes and reset the clock.

“Vell, I’m not happy about this either, but I think it’s our best option,” Lee said. The guilt she felt even at the prospect was evident already. She had tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to break free. Helena made note of the waterworks and counted down again. Three, two, one…

“We’d all be a lot happier knowing we didn’t fuck with someone’s head just because it was convenient,” Vell said. Now Helena was just starting to get annoyed. She hated when “good” people buckled, but what she hated more was sitting around waiting for them to buckle. They always did.

“Nobody’s asking you to participate, Vell,” Kim said.

“We agree on this, and we can do it without you.”

“We won’t even remember it, so I can do it with a technically clear conscience,” Lee said.

“Yeah. Let us handle this, Vell,” Harley added.

Vell sighed deeply and walked away from the crowd, shoulders drooping low. This time Helena actually stuck out a hand and stared counting on her fingers. Five. Vell stopped walking away and stood in place near the meeting table. Four. He turned around and leaned on the chair at the head of the table. Three. With the other hand, he rubbed his face. Two. He stopped, looked up, and glared at his friends.

One.

“I am in charge here,” Vell growled, gripping the chair tightly. “And I said no.”

Vell glared dead ahead. Nobody else could look him in the eye. Kim stepped aside without a word. Helena looked at the door and tried to stand, but could not manage it with her brace still deactivated. Joan caught her, but Helena pulled away. She stumbled backwards and nearly fell again, and this time Vell caught her.

“Come on,” Vell said. “Can I at least get you out of the room?”

“Fine,” Helena spat. She glared at the others on her way out, wordlessly condemning them for what they had just tried to do. None of them looked her in the eyes either.

As soon as they were out the door, Helena pulled away from Vell and slumped against the nearest wall.

“That thing have an on/off switch or something?”

“It had a battery, until that dumb bitch in there broke it,” Helena grunted.

“Don’t hold it against, Joan, she’s a little crazy right now,” Vell said. “Where at?”

“On the back, just below my neck,” Helena said. Vell appraised the device and the damage done to it.

“I can whip up some runes that should give you a charge for a while,” Vell said. “At least to get you somewhere far away from here.”

“Cool. Still not telling you anything about Kraid’s plan.”

“Cool. Still helping you,” Vell said, as he started helping her.

“That’s not getting you any credit either,” Helena said.

“I genuinely don’t care,” Vell said. “Yeah, I want your help, Helena. But when you’re ready, you’ll help me on your own terms.”

“That was a remarkably bold use of ‘when’, Harlan,” Helena snapped.

“Nothing bold about it,” Vell said. “Might be last minute. Might even be too late, frankly. But you’ll figure it out.”

“I would genuinely rather die.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Vell said. “That’s what I’ve figured out. You wouldn’t. Because deep down, you and I are exactly the same.”

“We are not-”

“We are!”

Vell spun around Helena to stand face to face with her, and glared right into her bright blue eyes.

“It’s the whole reason you’re still here,” Vell said. “How many doctors told you you had no chance? How many told you you’d never make it this far, live this long?”

Helena averted her eyes. Too many to count.

“But you’re still alive. You’re still trying,” Vell said. “For the exact same reason I’m still trying to help you. Because deep down, you and I believe the same thing.”

Vell reached out and grabbed Helena by the back. As he did so, he attached a rune sequence to Helena’s brace, giving her enough power to stand on her own.

“There’s always a chance.”

Helena pulled herself away from Vell and walked the other direction, without a word. Vell let her go. He didn’t know if anything he’d said had gotten through to her.

But there was a chance.

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Vell woke the next/same morning with a brand new headache. The events of the last loop had technically been resolved, but were still a major pain. Even with their memories wiped, most of the campus had still been utterly bewildered by the carnage left over from their maddened rampages. They’d just traded one kind of chaos for another. Vell got up, tried to clear his head, and left the dorm to find a robot leaning on the wall waiting for him.

“Kim.”

“Vell,” she replied. “We need to talk.”

“Depends on what about,” Vell said. They hadn’t talked much last loop, after Vell had vetoed their brain-theft plans. Kim gave herself eyes just to look sorry.

“You were right,” Kim said. “That would’ve been really fucked up. I was just feeling the pressure, and I wanted an easy solution.”

“It’s fine,” Vell said. “Just try not to make a habit of it.”

“After you graduate, can I call you if I’m ever feeling morally ambiguous?” Kim said. “I might need a hand.”

“I can’t promise I won’t be busy with the company, but I’ll try,” Vell said.

“Thanks. And I was talking with Lee and Harley last loop, I know they feel the same way, so don’t hold it against them,” Kim said.

“Do you know who the fuck you’re talking to?” Vell said. “Joan killed me and I barely hold it against her.”

“True enough,” Kim said. She opened the door for Vell as they headed into the looper lair. He sat down at the head of the table and looked towards Hawke and Samson.

“Alright, yesterday was kind of rough, I’m hoping you two got some good info from spying on Kraid.”

“Well...we learned he’s really good at decapitating people.”

“Ah.”

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“Two of them tried to spy on you, but you decapitated them,” Helena said. “You also left their heads on my desk, which I do not appreciate.”

“I probably thought it was funny, though,” Kraid said. That hypothetical reason was enough for him. “And the daily chaos?”

“Didn’t interrupt our work at all,” Helena said. “I memorized what I could, we should be able to skip a few steps this time around.”

“Excellent,” Kraid said. He crossed his legs and put his feet up on the Dean’s desk. “Now, I’d like your opinion on something. It occurs to me that Vell and the loop squad have a lot of them, and I only have the one you. That doesn’t seem fair.”

Kraid had already experienced some minor disruptions to his plans thanks to the time loops. Annoyances, at best, but the threat of a more aggressive exploitation of the loops still hung over his head. Kraid’s attempts to exploit them via Helena were haphazard at best; Vell Harlan had more resources and experience on that front, at least. Once upon a time, Kraid had been interested in understanding and controlling the time loops, and while that was still on his to-do list, Quenay’s rune had retaken top priority.

“You could expel them all at any time,” Helena said.

“True, but also,” Kraid began. “I like the finality of one last showdown. No second chances. Canceling the classes would still cancel the loops, right?”

“From what I understand,” Helena said.

“Excellent,” Kraid said. “Well then, I cancel classes and tell every student to report to my building for the final project or get expelled. Forcing Vell to either cooperate with my experiment or flunk out will be much more satisfying than just expelling him flat out.”

“It does have a certain sadistic angle that expulsion doesn’t.”

“Exactly,” Kraid said. He started typing out a campus-wide notification of classes being canceled. Helena listened to him type, and tapped her own fingers against the metal of her brace.

“Are you at all worried about other students not participating in the project?”

“Oh, I figure a few of Vell’s friend group will bail out, but it’s not important,” Kraid said. “I don’t need them anyway, it’s just a tactic of coercion and control. Keeps them under my thumb, and the threat of expulsion will win over some of the crowd that might’ve otherwise helped Harlan.”

Kraid stopped typing and looked more directly at Helena.

“Why? You have a reason to be worried about deserters?”

Helena shrugged.

“There’s always a chance.”