Chapter 271: Book 4 Chapter 34.1: The Professor

“How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good, all things considered,” Vell said. The dark circles under his eyes said that wasn’t entirely accurate, but Vell was awake and alert, so Dean Lichman pressed on.

“Good. Then we should discuss the arrangements that were made,” Dean Lichman said. “Now, in the capacity of a teacher’s aide, there is nothing stopping you from delivering lectures and even assigning homework, though obviously you cannot grade your own assignments or tests.”

“Lesson plans don’t call for any homework anyway,” Vell said.

“You’ve been reading, then.”

“Yep. Just a few days of lectures, maybe answering some questions,” Vell said. “I can handle that.”

“I have no doubt that you are able, my question now is whether you are willing,” Dean Lichman said. “I understand wanting to respect Professor Nguyen’s wishes, Vell, but you already have quite a lot on your plate without adding in five hours of lectures a day.”

“Do you have anyone else who could teach the classes?”

“Not at the moment,” Dean Lichman admitted. Between it being so close to the end of the year and the school’s existing budget problems, it was hard to find a substitute on such short notice.

“Then I have to do this,” Vell said. “There are people in those classes heading towards finals- graduation, even. Someone being there to explain the material, answer the questions, could be the difference between passing or failing for them.”

“Well, now that you’ve made it into a noble endeavor, I can hardly try to talk you out of it,” Dean Lichman said. “Just be aware that you are free to back out at any time. Also be aware that a teacher’s aide is technically a volunteer position and you will not be paid for this.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Just had to clarify for legal reasons,” Dean Lichman said. “Very well then. Don’t be afraid to reach out to me or other faculty if you need assistance, but beyond that...welcome to the team, ‘Professor Harlan’.”

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“For the record, I think this is a bad idea,” Kim said.

“You guys just proved you can handle yourselves without me for a bit,” Vell said. “It’ll be fine.”

“I wasn’t talking about us, Vell,” Kim said. Though this whole Professor Harlan thing was probably going to cause problems for them too. “I meant for you. You’ve got a lot going on already, bud, I’m not sure you can handle being responsible for a couple hundred students.”

“Well somebody needs to be responsible for them,” Vell said. “These are some of the last lessons of the year! They’re important.”

“So make copies of the lesson plans and distribute them,” Kim said. “Even the worst students here are still geniuses, Vell, they can study on their own time.”

“And if people have questions, or need help?”

“Then give them your phone number, or tell them to join your study group,” Kim said. “You’re doing a lot more work than you need to.”

“Well, like I said, the work needs to get done,” Vell said.

“Vell, I get it, and I respect you wanting to honor Professor Nguyen,” Kim said. “She wanted her students to be taken care of, but you are one of her students. She would’ve wanted you to take care of yourself too.”

Vell said nothing. Kim assumed she had made a strong point, and pressed the advantage.

“You made a decision while you were emotionally compromised-”

“I am not emotionally compromised,” Vell said.

“Okay then. Let’s continue this discussion in your office,” Kim said. She gestured just to Vell’s left, and he finally became aware that he was standing next to the door of Professor Nguyen’s office. “We’ve been out here for three minutes.”

“I was talking to you,” Vell said. “I didn’t want to go in yet.”

“Sure,” Kim said. “Well, let’s go in.”

Vell did not touch the door.

“We can finish our conversation inside,” Kim said. She did not say another word, no matter how long Vell waited. Eventually, he relented.

“Fine.”

To his credit, Vell opened the door and stepped into the office with no hesitation. That only happened after he was inside.

The office had already been cleaned and stripped of all of Professor Nguyen’s personal effects, but she had never had many to begin with. The school’s property—the desk, bookshelves, and many of the books held on them—still remained, and were still arranged in much the same way. The chair had been replaced, at least, but in most other ways it was still very much Professor Nguyen’s office. Except there was no Professor Nguyen anymore.

“Still feel up to it?”

Vell forced himself to take a seat, although Kim noticed a swerve as he walked. He’d been going to sit at the front of the desk, not behind it. She took the guest seat he’d originally aimed for and watched Vell settle in uncomfortably.

“I’ll admit this is not exactly ideal,” Vell said. Even he knew he was not doing a good job hiding his discomfort. “But I’ll get through it.”

“Vell.”

“I’ll handle it,” Vell insisted. “Dean Lichman will probably find a sub in a day or two anyway.”

He set his bookbag down and started removing some paperwork from it. Kim tapped metal fingertips together and watched his every move. At least for the time being, he didn’t seem to be hesitating at all.

“Fine. I’ll get the guys on high alert and watch for the daily doomsday,” Kim said. “Which I will expect your help with, by the way. That whole ‘save their education’ schtick doesn’t really work when you’re giving lessons they won’t remember.”

“I could kind of use the practice, though,” Vell said. “Public speaking is not my strong suit.”

“So you’ve chosen to devote the next few days to literally nothing but public speaking,” Kim said.

“It’s for a good cause!”

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The first class of the day was entirely first year students, so Vell went in feeling relatively confident. He’d mastered all this material long ago, it would be easy to explain it to others. The real hard part was dealing with all the people looking at him expectantly. He was no stranger to unwelcome attention, but it had mostly come in the form of one or two people at a time. Now he had an entire room with about a hundred students all staring at him, watching his every step as he walked out of the office and up to the lecture podium. He set his papers down and tried to clear his throat so quietly no one could hear him.

“Morning. I’m Vell Harlan, if you didn’t already know,” he began. “I’ll be taking over lectures for today, maybe a little longer, depending on how fast we can find a substitute.”

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Someone near the middle of the class raised their hand. Vell pointed towards them to give them the go-ahead.

“Why isn’t Professor Nguyen teaching?”

All eyes in the room turned to glare at the lone student. Vell stared blankly ahead for a few seconds.

“You, uh, should make a habit of checking your emails and messages from the school.”

The student pulled out their phone, checked their email, and immediately shrank into their seat in a desperate attempt to vanish entirely.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Now, I know this is a little unusual, but it should just be a lecture or two, so I’d like to get right to it,” Vell said. “But if you do have any questions, now is the time.”

Another hand went up, and Vell pointed them out.

“Does that Goddess still follow you around?”

“I meant questions about the class.”

“Is the Goddess that follows you around going to disrupt the class?”

“It’s incredibly unlikely,” Vell said. “Any specifically class-related questions?”

No hands went up. Vell nodded and turned his back to the class.

“Okay then. Today’s topic is the Burton Method of rune analysis. Most of the runes discovered from 1985 through 1992 were identified using this method, so pay attention, it’s going to come up on the test a lot.”

“How much?”

“A lot,” Vell said. He double-checked Nguyen’s plans for this lecture. “That’s all the notes say. I haven’t seen the tests. Okay, back to the method…”

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Several hours of almost nonstop talking had given Vell a sore throat, so when he finally got his lunch break, he opted to grab a milkshake. He made it about halfway through the ice-cold treat before getting interrupted.

“Afternoon, Professor,” Luke said. He slid into an empty seat at Vell’s table alongside Cane. “How’s the academic life treating you?”

“I’m getting by.”

“Are you actually getting by?” Cane asked. “Or are you saying that so no one will worry about you?”

“I’m actually doing fine,” Vell said. “Not really a fan of all the public speaking, but I’m getting through it.”

“As long as you’re doing alright,” Luke said. “Maybe once we’re all wrapped up you can give me some advice on professoring.”

“I don’t think you’ll need it,” Vell said. “You always were better at taking charge than I am. And people will pay better attention to you.”

“Still, a little firsthand advice from someone I trust will go a long way,” Luke said. “But I’ll save it for after graduation. You’re probably going to be even more swamped catching up on all your other classes.”

The straw in Vell’s milkshake made a harsh noise as Vell sucked on it a little too long.

“Vell. You do have somebody taking notes for you, right? Recording the lectures?”

“It’s been really short notice, I can always ask someone later,” Vell mumbled.

“Have you got a martyrdom fetish or something, Vell?” Cane asked. “You’re just skipping your last few days of class right before finals?”

“I’ll be fine, my grades are good,” Vell said. “Ow!”

Cane had grabbed Vell by the hair and tugged him away from his milkshake.

“So, it’s utterly imperative that other people get their lessons taken care of,” Cane said. “But you can just sacrifice your own without even thinking about it? Do you listen to yourself sometimes, Vell?”

“I’ll be fine, there’s basically zero chance I’ll fail, the other guys-”

“Vell!”

“You’re not going to talk him out of it, Cane, and I’m not entirely sure you should,” Luke said. He was on board with Vell helping others, he just couldn’t leave himself entirely in the dust.

“I need to get back to it soon anyway,” Vell said. “I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, you will,” Cane said. “Tell us who you were going to borrow notes from, we’ll track them down and see if we can get you a spare copy.”

“I can- nevermind,” Vell said. “Fine.”

He wrote down a list of some students he trusted, and they set off to track them down right away. Vell took a seat, finished his milkshake, and then readied his notes for the next class. That would be when it started to get hard. The third and fourth year students were coming up, and then he’d be digging into material he’d only recently learned, or that was even entirely new to him.

Vell was sure he’d be fine. Mostly. Partially. A little. Probably a little fine. Even he was struggling to convince himself it was a good idea now.

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“Shouldn’t the ‘materialize’ rune have it’s fourth line in common with the ‘manifest’ five-line rune?”

“No, the similarities between the two are actually an example of modal commonality, not functional overlap,” Vell said. “The actual reason for that line is...hold on, I’ve got it here somewhere.”

Vell found the explanation in his notes, recapped it, and then moved on. He made it about five minutes before getting hit with another question. This routine was typical for the class, but Nguyen had been able to answer questions far quicker and easier than Vell could. It was already slowing down the pace of his lectures, and the real problems hadn’t even begun.

The first text went ignored, as did the first call. When multiple messages began pouring in all at once, Vell knew he could no longer ignore them. He excused himself from the class and answered his phone.

“Vell, where are you,” Samson snapped. “We’re fighting some Runelord Smacksavaccine or something!”

“Runelord Samaal Vaxxus!”

The defiant proclamation was followed by the whinny of a horse and the sounds of robot-on-horse violence in the background.

“Whoever the fuck he is, we need your help,” Samson said.

“I don’t know, that seems like the kind of thing Kim can punch her way through,” Vell said.

The heavy impact of Kim getting kicked through a wall could be heard through the phone.

“Vell, we’re getting our asses whooped here,” Samson said. “We don’t understand how his rune shit works.”

“Well I’m busy teaching other people how rune shit works, so-”

“Vell,” Samson snapped. “It’s a guy with runes on a horse. This is the most ‘your thing’ any thing has ever been, get your ass over here!”

“Okay, fine, I’m coming,” Vell said. He grabbed his bag and ran out of the office, delivering a hasty excuse to the class on the way out.

Any hopes of a quickly resolved apocalypse were dashed when he noticed the archaeology department was on fire.

“Great, now they’re going to cancel classes,” Vell said. He wouldn’t even get to practice for his fourth-year class. That was his primary concern right up until something exploded, and “don’t let any more explosions happen” jumped to the top of his list of priorities.

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“So you’re still doing this thing?”

“Of course I am,” Vell said. “Everything I said before is still true.”

“And I still think it’s a bad idea,” Kim said. “I thought you’d have figured that out by now.”

“It’ll be fine, I’ve had my practice run,” Vell said. Most of one, at least. “I’ll get through my classes, stop to refresh the seals on the Runelord over my lunch break. Easy.”

“It will not be easy,” Kim said. “You’re in denial.”

“I am an adult, and I can handle myself,” Vell said. He slammed the office door shut behind him as he prepared for the second loop. He could handle himself pretty well, in fact, and made it through his first and second classes of the day even faster than before. He used the few spare minutes that gained him to do a little prepwork for his third and fourth classes, and to drop by and refresh the runic seals on the prison that held the Runelord and his horse at bay. He even got a drone to drop off his milkshake to save even more time. The tiny machine whizzed by Luke and Cane’s heads as they scanned the dining hall.

“Huh. I thought Vell was supposed to be taking a break right now,” Luke said.

“Dude better not be doubling down,” Cane said. “He’s already doing enough work without devoting his whole lunch break to this bullshit.”

“I agree, but we’re not going to be making anything any better by hunting him down to harass him,” Luke said. “Come on. We can check in at the end of the day.”

Luke shrugged and left the room, without so much as a word spoken about copying notes. Elsewhere in the world, Vell felt like he was doing a pretty good job.

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Skye was eating with one hand and perusing a textbook with the other when the door to the dorm opened. She could tell Vell was tired just from the way he stumbled into the room. She set her food and her book down to go greet her boyfriend.

“Long day, huh?”

“Very,” Vell said, as he collapsed into the nearest chair. “You know, I was kind of offended when Professor Nguyen said I’d be bad at this.”

Conceptually, it was especially insulting that a dying woman had devoted some of her last words to telling Vell he’d do a shit job at teaching.

“I’m kind of starting to think she might be right,” Vell concluded. “I am not cut out for teaching.”

“So what if Dean Lichman doesn’t have a replacement by tomorrow?” Skye asked. “You going to turn him down?”

“Probably not,” Vell said.

“Vell.”

“What? I’m not great, but I’m still better than nothing,” Vell said. He hoped he was, at least. “The first day of anything is always the hardest. Tomorrow will be better.”

“Maybe for your students,” Skye said. “Is it going to be any better for you?”

“I’ll be fine,” Vell insisted, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “I’ll get things set up to make it a little easier. On that note, I better call Luke. He was going to help me get some class notes for the day.”

“Was he?”

“Yeah, I talked to him about it-”

Vell froze. He’d talked to him at lunch. On the previous loop. A conversation Luke and Cane did not remember.

“Oh my god,” Vell said, as he put his face in his hands. He’d gotten mixed up about loops before, but never about anything so important. “I forgot to ask them for help!”

“So you just have nothing,” Skye said. “For that entire day of classes you just missed?”

“I- fuck,” Vell snapped. “I still know who to ask for notes, I’ve got to go.”

He grabbed his bag again and headed right for the door.

“Do you want-”

The door slammed shut behind Vell before Skye could even finish talking. She’d been about to offer him something to eat, but apparently that wasn’t important right now. Skye shook her head and hoped Vell had eaten something in the past few hours. He hadn’t, but Skye hoped for it.