Vell did prefer to knock on doors, when given the option. He spent so much time barging his way through to prevent disasters, it felt nice to just be paying a lab a friendly visit for once. While the circumstances were much calmer, the reaction to his arrival was not. The student answering the door took one look at Vell and her heart visibly skipped a beat.
âOh jeez, itâs you,â Rawya said. âI didnât make another super-addictive brain destroying game, did I?â
âNot that I know of,â Vell said. âShould I be worried about that?â
âNo, Iâve been trying to avoid games,â Rawya said. âIf youâre not here to save our asses, what do you need?â
âWell, why donât I show you,â Vell said. âAlex?â
Alex took two steps up, held up her phone to Rawya, and opened one of her apps. Rather than the weather, the app displayed a horrific distorted face and created a loud shrieking noise. Rawya held up her hand, and Alex closed the app, stopping the video on its tracks.
âYou came to the best programmers on planet earth because you got a screamer?â
âWell, you see, the thing isâ¦â
Alex opened another app. The screaming face appeared once again. She tabbed into the next app, and the screamer was there. A third app, a third scream. The pattern continued until Alex had gone through nearly every app on her home screen, and been met with a horrific scream in every single one.
âI see the problem,â Rawya said.
âThis is a deliberate attack,â Alex said. âAnd Kim traced the source back to your laboratory.â
âIf I could just take a quick look around, I think I know whatâs up,â Vell said. Rawya invited him in, and Vell and Alex made a beeline for the back of the lab. Nobody bothered to look surprised when the two of them found Helena sitting at her workstation, perusing a gallery of horrifying faces.
âHi guys,â Helena said.
âHelena,â Alex grunted. âIs this your idea of a joke?â
âWell, not exactly,â Helena said. âMy idea of a joke was remotely overloading your phone until the battery exploded, but that wouldâve gotten me a bigger lecture from this guy.â
Helena pointed at Vell, who was doing his best to look stern and disapproving.
âAs is, I think this is a mostly harmless and entirely deserved prank,â Helena said. âDonât you agree?â
âJust put her phone back to normal,â Vell said. Helena turned around, tapped in a few buttons, and did just that. Alex opened up her phone and tested out the apps, just to be sure there were no horrors lying in wait to ambush her.
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âWhat exactly did you hope to accomplish with any of this?â
âI thought itâd be funny,â Helena said. âAnd I was right.â
âBut what was the point? I donât have experiment to conduct today, no important calls to make,â Alex said. âWhat did disrupting my phone accomplish?â
âIt annoyed you for an hour or so,â Helena said. âIf my goal was to make you fail at something, Alex, Iâd just sit back and let it happen. All I wanted to do was bother you for a while.â
âThatâs enough,â Vell said. âAlex, get out of here. Iâll handle Helena.â
âBecause youâve proven so authoritative before,â Alex said. She rolled her eyes and rolled out, leaving Vell to stare down at Helena for a while. He double-checked over his shoulder to make sure sheâd really left.
âOkay, she deserved that a little bit,â Vell said.
âRight?â
âYou went a little overboard, though,â Vell said. âOne screamer is a prank, everything being a screamer is a genuine problem. If youâd gone just one a day, at random intervals, you probably couldâve drawn it out for like a week or something before she got pissy about it.â
âHmm. Good point,â Helena said. âArenât you supposed to be lecturing me, though?â
âA little bit,â Vell said. âDeserved as it is, itâs not always a good idea to harass people youâre going to be stuck working with for the next four years.â
âOh come on, you really think sheâs going to make it that long?â Helena scoffed. âThe only reason Alex is still part of this school is because youâre covering her ass. Iâll be surprised if she makes it through a single day after you graduate.â
âIâm hoping sheâll mellow out,â Vell said.
âUnlikely,â Helena said. âAnd even if she does, the school might run out of reasons to keep her around. You know sheâs not actually here as a student, right?â
âWhat?â
Helena went back to her computer and pulled up a series of records, most of them academic transcripts from schools Alex had attended throughout her life. At a glance, the grades were high, but not nearly as exceptional as the average Einstein-Odinson attendeeâs were supposed to be.
âShould you have these?â
âObviously not, but thatâs not the important part,â Helena said. âLook at this, Vell. Sheâs not here to study, sheâs here to be studied. Thatâs why the magikinesis department was examining her the other day, when Cupid showed up.â
Vell could not deny the logic. He had always seen Alexâs gray magic as a strange oddity, and apparently some other people at this school agreed.
âShe doesnât love anything,â Vell said. âMagic is fueled by the balance of willpower and discipline. No willpower, nothing to balance.â
âPrecisely,â Helena said. âEverybody thinks sheâs some kind of inexplicable prodigy, but sheâs not. Sheâs just a soulless husk of a person. Once someone else figures that out, no one will care about researching her, and bye bye Alex.â
âThatâs...sad,â Vell said.
âOn an existential level, maybe,â Helena said. She couldnât care less about Alex as a person. âAnyway, while Iâm in here, do you want to see Samsonâs grades?â
âDo you have files on everyone here?â
âExcept for Kim, obviously, sheâs only like three years old,â Helena said. âBut other than that, yes.â
Vell contemplated that for a few seconds.
âStop doing that,â he demanded.
âFine. Iâve already seen all the interesting stuff anyway.â
âAnd, uh, on the note of that screamer stuff,â Vell began.
âOh, is this where the lecture happens?â
âNo. Could you rework that to do something like, say, just rickroll someone?â
âEasily,â Helena said. âWhy? You have something in mind?â
âI just want a prank in my back pocket,â Vell said. âIn case Orn or Michael Junior pisses me off, you know.â
âHmm. I happen to dislike those two,â Helena said. âSure. Iâll send you the code. Just let me know when you drop it. I want to see the looks on their faces.â
âSure,â Vell said. âYouâll be the first to know.â