I did what Alis said and prepared myself for dinner. Thankfully I was alone this time. As easy as it was to have people to help, getting myself ready is something I was used to.
I bathed and did my hair in a traditional ponytail. I looked into the mirror and realized the true length on my white hair. Even with Sereh trimming it, it was longer than ever and was a menace to do.
Once I had finished readying myself I put myself into the navy robe I had been in yesterday and waited for Alis or Sereh to return with new clothes. I stared at the floral walls again as I waited. They were still as atrocious as the first time I saw them. I'd definitely be asking Tamlin about them. I could claim they haunted me in my sleep, that the flowers were out to get me. I'm sure he'd believed it. He seemed like the type to try and be the hero. Maybe I could also claim the flowers scared Feyre, too. He'd definitely change them after that.
I'd also change the light green comforter with embroidered flowers on my bed. Honestly, if I could I'd probably change everything about this room. It all just seemed fake, the pastels, the feigned happiness everywhere, it like living in a grandmothers house.
I distantly heard footsteps in the hall signaling that someone was nearing. I knew it was most likely Sereh or Alis but it never hurt to be on guard. I heard the twist of the door handle as someone stepped into the room quickly, not bothering to knock.
"Come on then, let's get you changed," Alis spoke already walking towards the large mirror in the corner of my room. I groaned as I got up, wanting to just stay in my room for dinner and begin planning how to explore without being noticed by the glamoured fae around the house.
Alis pulled out the shirt and pants she had brought and I changed quickly, planning on getting this dinner over with as soon as possible. I hated just sitting around and doing nothing.
Alis walked with me through the halls to the dining room even though I had already memorized the way there. She insisted that she come with and I agreed after a minute. Alis gave me a curt nod when we arrived before turning around and walking the other way. I pushed in the dining room doors seeing Feyre, Lucien, and Tamlin already sitting down at the table.
I held my chin high like I was taught and said nothing as I found the seat I had used yesterday and sat down. I quickly began piling food onto my plate and eating.
I could hear everyone do the same. I looked up for a moment and caught the brief glint of silver reflecting in the light. I turned my head back looking at a sword at Lucien's side, propped against the table. It was a nicer sword. Not as nice as the sword I kept at Le Donjon back in the mortal lands. But nice none the less.
What kind of an idiot is he? We may be mortal but I had trained with blades for as long as I can remember. He would be a fool to underestimate me. The academy always scolded us to never underestimate our opponents. He should do the same. Fae or not.
My skin was itching to touch the familiar steel. To feel the protection it granted me. I really missed the presence of my daggers waiting at my sides. They had become a source of comfort over the years, odd as it sounds.
Lucien paused and I looked to see a smirk on his face, "Were you admiring my sword or just contemplating killing me?"
I leaned back in my chair, "Can't it be both?"
Lucien scowled at me, I scowled right back. If he wanted to play that game, fine. We'll play this game. He's like a child. Though I'm sure he's older by centuries.
"Feyre likes to hunt." Tamlin blurted. Well, that was random.
"I don't like to hunt," Feyre clarified, "Danika and I hunted out of necessity. And how did you know that?"
I did hunt with her yes. But the type of hunting I did more frequently was a tad more violent.
Tamlin stared at Feyre oddly, "Why else were you in the woods that day? You had a bow and arrow in your... House." He definitely had to correct himself there, though I do wonder what he was going to say instead of a house, "When I saw your father's hands, I knew he wasn't the one using them. You told him about the rations and money from pelts. Faeries might be many things, but we're not stupid. Unless your ridiculous legends claim that about us too."
I had to give the male points for observational skills.
Lucien cleared his throat, "How old are you two anyway?"
"Nineteen," Feyre replied.
"Twenty," I added.
Lucien tsked, "So young, and so grave. And a skilled killer already."
I snorted. He doesn't know half of it. Not that I'd tell him that. Them not knowing who and what I am gives me the upper hand. Right now they think I'm just a girl with talk. That my threats are empty. Little do they know, little old me is a skilled and famous killer in the mortal lands.
I hadn't earned my title as The White Death by being all talk and no action, no I got my title because I was ruthless as I was trained to be, I got my title because I was as silent as death and all you'd see before you died was a blur of white, and then darkness.
A devilish smile crept its way onto my mouth, I wonder if either of the fae here would be a worthy opponent. I'd find out at some point one way or another.
"So this is what you do with your lives? Spare humans from the treaty and have fine meals?" Feyre questioned.
"Oh, don't forget the brooding! There's a lot of that around here." I pitched in.
"We also dance with spirits under the full moon and snatch human babes from their cradles to replace them with changelings-" Lucien began but was cut off.
"Didn't..." Tamlin spoke reluctantly as if he were debating with himself, "Didn't your Mother tell you anything about us."
I schooled my features to steel at the mention of our mother. My muscles stiffening at the mention of her.
I wasn't there when she died. I was still at the academy where she sent me and sold away my freedom to be a trained killer. I never got to tell her how much I despised her after that because she died. I know it sounds cruel. But what she did was unforgivable even if none of my sisters know it. Our Mother was a cruel woman, and Compared to Nesta, Nesta was the easter bunny.
I could tell the fae in the room sensed the mood change in me and Feyre. I could tell they saw the murderous glint in my eyes and probably presumed it was towards them for asking. Feyre adjusted herself in her seat.
"Our Mother didn't have the time to tell us stories," Feyre replied. I rolled my eyes. Maybe for her, that was the case. But mine was completely different.
"How did she die?" Tamlin asked softly. Seeing the sympathy on his face and the flicker of sadness in Lucien almost sent me off the rails. She didn't deserve that. Not after what shes done. She didn't deserve the sentiments people give her in her death.
I pushed out my chair, "Excuse me." I spoke before walking out of the room calmly. I gave no inclination to the murderous rage roiling in my head.
When I had gotten out of earshot, i let out a ragged breath i didn't realize I was holding. I soon decided to try to find the library after that to quell my temper with books and information.
Feyre
Danika walked out of the room calmly. But I could see the anger in her eyes, whether it was at Tamlin for asking, or at our mother, I had no idea. When she had left the room I simply stared at the door she had walked through. She had a rage even I could not quell when it came to certain things. I wished she would just tell me.
"What was that about?" Tamlin asked curiously, it was the most human thing I'd heard from him.
I shrugged, "She loved our Mother for a time until she went to live with our Aunt for a year. She came back a completely different person. She loathed our Mother after that, even in death. She's never told me why." I straightened. I had accidentally revealed too much. It just slipped out.
Tamlin nodded, Lucien just looked bored. Good. Maybe he wouldn't remember what I had said.
"Excuse me," I said as I pushed out my chair. I knew Danika needed space so I wouldn't go after her quite yet. But that didn't mean I wanted to be sat at a table with two males I barely knew. So I resigned to my bedroom, I would seek out Danika tonight. We needed to talk. We needed to talk about many things. But most importantly the scar I could just barely see on her forearm that had never been there before.
Danika
I wandered towards the smell of parchment and leather. It got stronger through the halls telling me I was going the right way. I came to a large wooden door that had the strongest library smell and pushed open the doors.
They swung open to one of the largest libraries I'd ever seen. It was beautiful. There were stacks upon stacks of different kinds of books to read. My remaining anger instantly disappeared as I wandered to the nearest shelf, touching the different leather spines as I walked past.
I wandered the library shelves for longer than i cared to admit until I finally reached my limit of books I could carry and picked a secluded corner of the large library to read in. The first book I started with was called Prythian book of Myths and began reading.
Before I knew it it was dawn, I had gone through Myths and geography, to history, to the treaty. And now I was thoroughly exhausted. But I didn't want to leave. This place felt more like home than the rest of this place combined. So I stayed. Stayed for hours.
I had been reading up on a particularly interesting creature called a suriel who could see the future and tell you truths. I planned to catch one at some point and get answers on how to break free of the treaty's rules. I was thinking up a plan when a booming voice came through the library.
"Dani?" Feyre's voice rang, "You in here?"
"Back here!" I called out not taking my eyes from the book. I heard soft footsteps approach the small corner piled with books that could very well make a wall around me.
"Dani, what the-" Feyre stopped, "Is this where you've been all night? I was looking for you." Feyre pouted.
I finished up the chapter on suriels before placing the small piece of paper I had been using as a bookmark when I took small breaks to wander around some more. I nodded at Feyre.
"I needed to brush up on my knowledge of Prythian." I added.
Feyre sighed, "That's what I need to talk to you about. Among other things best suited for a more private place."
So it was finally time. I had to talk about my past. Which was more horrifying than anything I had ever faced. But I nodded none the less and stood from my book pile to walk over to Feyre. She looked past me and towards the pile of books.
"Are you going to clean that up?" She asked.
I shrugged irreverently, "I'll be back soon, it would be pointless." I began walking towards the library doors, heart beating in my chest as I paved the way to my chambers.
What would I tell her? How would I even start? Could I really handle telling her the truth? The thought of my sister knowing what a monster I truly was and the crimes I've committed made me sick to my stomach. How could I tell her that I had killed so many. How could I tell her that the assassin we had spoken of over multiple occasions was really me?
Feyre and I stepped into the room. I turned towards her. There was such curiosity on her face. It was mortifying. I started to panic my breathing became uneven. Could I do this?
I looked into her eyes, and the only words I could manage were, "Please don't hate me."
âââ · ãï¾â: *.â½ .* :âï¾. âââ
Authors note: FINALLY! I'm going to explain the full scope of Danis past in the next chapter, so everything will make a whole lot more sense. The next few chapters after that are also going to be pretty important to thE plot line. And I'll elaborate more on the legends and myths I talked about last chapters
So I'm going to rant about my day cause I feel like it.
I had a math test today and I'm 96% sure I bombed it. So that was really fun. I also finished Earths End from the Air Awakens series and ended up sobbing. The end was so heartbreakinggg. And I guess that's it