Chapter 32: 32. Final Goodbye

She waited for an hour, waited until he was definitely asleep. He slept silently, with no turning or snoring; just a still figure on the bed with a slightly pinched expression.

She had not changed her mind.

Once, in her second year of training, they had been put into groups and released into a forest to hunt each other. As usual, the winning group would remain acolytes and the losers would go home. Most of their challenges had been that way: no second chances. One of the other acolytes had caught her separated from her team. He had been a boy roughly her age, one of the best in the group. He’d had a bow aimed at her leg - enough to mark her but not kill her. Then, their eyes had met. Perhaps he had thought her pretty, or young, or pitiful. None of that mattered. He had hesitated and missed her by a hair’s breadth. Once she was safe and hidden from him, she had put an arrow in his own leg. No second chances.

When she had decided to die, she had made a rational decision. It terrified her, but she took comfort in the calculation she had made. For the price of her life, she would never have to face Tivelo again. She did not know how to escape Achi’s protection, but she would not stop searching for the answer.

The first step, though was to see how securely he slept and claim an answer to a different question.

He didn’t stir when she entered Achi’s bedroom. She had made no effort to be quiet. In fact, she was being less careful than usual. Her own feet sounded like thuds on the wooden floor. He frowned in his sleep - from her disturbance or from a bad dream - but did not wake. .

She walked until she stood beside Achi’s head. Envy filled her. He likely did not know what a luxury it was to sleep so soundly.

She offered herself the opportunity to back down. This was not necessary for her plan. It would probably yield the same answer Achi had given her. But failing to confirm it was a mistake she would not make. He would feel furious, violated and she would not begrudge him the anger. They all had to do what they had to do.

Despite her long hesitation, he had not woken. It was as clear a sign as she would get.

Her decision made, she bent down and kissed him. She would only have this one opportunity, so she made sure the kiss was thorough. They were still locked together when he woke. His eyes shot open, filled with horror and panic, and then she flew across the room and collided forcefully with a shelf. She fell to the ground, followed and assaulted by half a dozen curios disturbed by her collision.

She recovered quickly. Something heavy had hit her head, but there was no damage beyond a dull pain. She rubbed the spot, met Achi’s eyes and froze in place.

She had expected fury, perhaps fury like his father’s. She had expected hurt and disappointment. She had expected to feel shame because she had crossed a line after all the kindness he had shown her. What she had not expected to see was devastation.

He stared at her as if she had burned an entire planet from under his feet. Aria cursed silently. She had miscalculated.

“I’m sorry, Achi.”

The expression drained from his face. The next moment, he resembled a poorly done statue. There was no joy or pain on his face, just a careful blankness. His voice, when it came, was equally dull, but Aria caught the faintest hint of anger in its bluntness.

“Leave.”

His voice did not have his father’s coldness, but the contrast with his previous manner made it more chilling.

“I had to do it,” Aria said. “I had to be sure. It’s not - I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

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She hated that she felt guilty. His father had ruined her life and she was doing all she could to keep her head above water. Achi was merely caught in a fight he had not initiated. What she had done to him - stealing a kiss he was saving for his beloved - was less than the least of what Tivelo planned for her.

Yet, she felt guilty.

Achi climbed out of the bed. It straightened itself. The playing cards disappeared from the library. Sandy footprints - hers from an aimless trip to the beach disappeared.

“I’m taking down the shield,” Achi said. “My father will be here soon after that. If you want to meet him, stay.”

He was freeing her - to go and live or die. It was what she wanted, but she could not leave while he was still looking at her with such uncaring eyes.

Oh, for crying out loud, it was just a kiss.

A kiss that was important to him, certainly, but just a kiss. He was smart enough to understand that she was simply protecting herself.

“Achi.”

He ignored her. He had finished his cleaning. The house no longer looked as if two people had used it.

“I’m sorry.” She tried to put all the sincerity she possessed into her voice. Perhaps it worked. She thought she saw a minuscule softening in him. But it was not enough.

“Look,” she said. “You should be angry with me. I knew you would be when I did it. You’re not even as angry as I would be. Harvest festival four or five years ago, Rokayo kissed me in front of everyone, laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. I carved his face for him. If any woman marries him now, he’ll know it’s true love. I didn’t do this because I don’t respect you or because I’m thoughtless. You’ve had the safety of your father’s power. I only have what I can take for myself. I had to make sure that I wasn’t Ovi.”

“I told you that you weren’t.”

“And you were right. But my life is at stake. I’m not trusting words when I can see facts. You can carve my face if you want.” She shrugged. “You should. It’ll only be fair. But I don’t want you to think that this was more than it was.”

He was sitting on the bed, watching her. The blankness that had filled his face had disappeared. In its place was something more annoying: pity.

“Keep looking at me like that,” Aria said. “I can carve your face too.”

He smiled and she knew the storm was past. A moment later, the smile disappeared.

“Aria,” his tone was somber, “after I’m gone, I want you to know that you don’t have to be what Garo has made you. All that distrust, all that rage, it hasn’t done you any good. You could have stayed in Igbotulo. You could have -.” He breathed. “It could have been different if he hadn’t broken you. Later, try to be something else. It’s hard in the beginning, but you won’t regret it in the end.”

She gave no response. She had many, but she had just crawled back into his good graces.

“Now,” he said. “You really must leave. My father will be here in three minutes. It’s too late to take the carriage.”

“What - why?” Aria felt stupid. Then, she saw his shaking hands. He was not sitting on the bed because he wanted to; he had to. His illness had always seemed invisible. The fevers were manageable, the glimpses of weakness few. It was almost impossible to believe that he was dying. Even now, it was not his weakness that disturbed her; he looked only a little more tired than usual. It was the look in his eyes. As if it was over.

“You can just transport yourself to the lower realm,” he said. “It’ll cost a lot of energy, but you have no choice. It’s instinctive. Just think of where you want to go and decide to do it.”

“I -”

“Are you suddenly not afraid of him? Go, Aria.”

“Will you be fine?”

“You really do want to die,” he said.

And she remembered that she did not have to leave. Getting too close to Tivelo would kill her. She had not been willing to risk that method because if he disabled the spell before it triggered, she would regret it forever. She wanted to be nowhere near him, but body refused to move.

“Was it something I did?” She asked. “Was it the kiss?”

Achi hissed in irritation. Next, she felt power leave her, felt him push her through layers of space. It felt oddly like being forced through fabric, but it worked. The world went dark for a moment and then flashed in colors too numerous for her to name. Then, she was lying on the ground in Igbotulo, in exactly the same place where he had last abandoned her. She blinked in disorientation, began to sit up and was then forced back onto the ground by a purse full of gold landing on her chest.

A nearby merchant caught the entire event. He did not look surprised. He simply stared glumly from over his table of belts and purses. Others must have seen her appearance too, but no one paid any attention. Either magicians landed in Igbotulo’s marketplace frequently or the people were remarkably dense. The first theory was probably corrected. It explained why Achi had abandoned her there twice.