Wren Ridley
Olivia was shaking her leg as she sat in the passenger seat of my car while we looked for Landon. The action reminded me of her brother, so much so that I actively tried to block her out of my vision. I got flashes of Landon sitting in that very seat, doing the very same thing while we looked for Olivia one time a while back. The tables had turned and the stakes were higher. Landon was out there alone and injured. Anything could happen to him if we didn't find him soon.
Driving around town seemed to be useless. We had no idea of how he had even gotten here. I drove around town slowly, thoroughly checking the streets, the sidewalks, looking into the woods and people's yards. We couldn't find him and it was making us both irritable and anxious.
"I think we should go check at the Hansons," Olivia had said, and so we did.
No one was home. All the lights were out and when I knocked on the door, no one came to answer it. I even walked around back to where Landon's bedroom was in the house and there were no signs that he was in there.
I eventually resorted to calling hospitals in the area to see if he, or anyone with his description, had been admitted.
"Hello, I'm just calling to see if someone named Landon Reilly has been admitted," I said to the third hospital. "I have reason to believe he would be seeking medical attention, but he has been unreachable for a couple hours now."
Generally, hospitals could give you a yes or no on if someone was there, but they wouldn't be able to tell me anything about his condition if he was actually at the hospital.
"We don't have a patient by that name," the person on the line said.
"If I give a description, can you tell me if any unidentified patients match?" I asked.
"We do not currently have any unidentified patients, but give me a description and we'll be on the look out."
So I gave her a description of Landon and left my number with her in case he turned up there.
I sighed, feeling discouraged, and I could tell Olivia was feeling the same. I leaned my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes, trying to wrack my brain for anywhere he might be.
"Now what?" Olivia cried, causing me to open my eyes and look at her. "He could be anywhere. He could be passed out. We need to call the police and tell them he's missing so they can search."
"Hold on, let me call one of his friends at school and see if he's there," I told her, grabbing my phone from the cupholder to call Jess.
Jess answered the phone after two rings.
"What's up?" she answered. I could tell she was at Stella's. Stella and James were arguing in the background.
"You haven't happened to hear from Landon within the last couple of hours, have you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.
"Aren't you guys, like, not talking?" Jess asked, skeptical. "I can't tell you that."
"Jess, this is serious," I urged. "Something happened. I'm here with his sister and we can't find him."
"Wait, what?" Jess asked, sounding alarmed. "What happened?"
I didn't want to get into it with her. I had no idea how much Landon had actually told her about his life and I wasn't about to be the one to explain it all to her.
"Look, he's hurt and missing," I said as calmly as possible. "I need to know if you've talked to him."
"All he said was that something was going on at home and he needed a ride," Jess explained. "Chris Rojas from the hockey team let him borrow his car."
The name was familiar. Landon had mentioned him before. Chris Rojas was the captain of his hockey team, and apparently his friend.
"Can you give me his number?"
"Yeah, hold on, I'll text it to you."
Once I got the phone number, I called Chris. It rang for a while then eventually went to voicemail.
"Hello, Chris, this is Wren," I started. "I'm here with Landon's sister and we're both very worried because we can't find him, so if you could give me a call back and let me know if you've heard from him, that would be great. Thanks, bye."
I let out another long sigh and put my phone down in the cupholder before putting the car back in drive and pulling away from the curb.
"So now we have to just wait for this guy to call us back?" Olivia asked, looking at me with glossy eyes.
"I guess so," I said, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "What was even going on tonight? Why was he there?"
I needed more clarity on the situation and I couldn't bring Olivia back there if it wasn't safe. Olivia let out a frustrated groan, pulling at her hair.
"It's all my fault," she said, tears falling down her cheeks. "I wasn't being careful enough and stupid Jimmy found out that I had been talking to Landon and told my dad, so my dad took the iPod Landon gave me and texted Landon pretending to be me and tricked him into coming home to confront him."
"It's not your fault your father is a lunatic," I told her through gritted teeth.
It made me so angry that their father couldn't just let the two of them live. He had to have control over Olivia, just like he had to have control over Landon when he lived there. And now he was angry because he couldn't control Landon anymore, but he still tried.
"If I was just more careful, none of this would have happened," Olivia cried into her hands.
"Olivia, listen," I said, gaining her attention. "This isn't your fault. There is no one to blame for this but your father. We are going to find Landon and he's going to be fine. And I know for a fact that he doesn't blame you for any of this."
Olivia sniffled, wiping her face with her hands. I grimaced.
"I have napkins in the glovebox. Use them," I said.
She rolled her eyes, but did as I said anyway.
"Where are we going?" she asked after a few minutes.
"You're going to my house to stay there for the night," I said. "And I'm going to head back toward Providence to try to find your brother."
"No, I'm coming with you!" Olivia snapped, smacking her hand down on the console. "You can't bench me. I need to find my brother!"
"I can't take you to Providence with me. It's getting late and I have nowhere for you to stay there," I argued.
"I don't need anywhere to stay there because we are going to keep looking," she said, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at me like she was daring me to argue back.
I held back another sigh. It was like talking to my own younger sister.
"Listen, you will be the first person I call if I hear anything, okay?" I assured her.
I couldn't be driving around at odd hours of the night with a fifteen year old girl. If her parents actually did call the cops that would look all sorts of suspicious and I didn't want to get involved with that. At least this way she would have a safe place to stay and the cover of it seeming like a sleepover with Fawn.
"I have a sister your age, you know," I told her as she continued staring at me with her eyebrows raised. "You two are a lot alike. So hang out with her for a bit and I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"
"Fine," Olivia relented, looking down at her lap.
We were quiet for the rest of the ride to my house.
When we pulled up the driveway, most of the lights were out in the house. The living room light was off, but there was a bluish glow from the television. Fawn's bedroom was right above the living room and her light was still on.
"Come on," I said to Olivia as I shut the car off. I led her up the driveway and the porch steps before walking into the house.
I walked in the living room to see my parents both looking at the doorway with confused expressions.
"Oh, hello," Dad said with a wave, looking at Olivia.
Mom stood up from the couch and walked over to us.
"Is everything alright?" she asked, her confusion turning into concern.
"This is Olivia, she is going to have a sleepover with Fawn," I said before walking to the stairs. "Fawn! Come down here!"
Two sets of footsteps were heard above the living room and Fawn and Ava came out of the bedroom and stood at the top of the stairs.
"What are you even doing here?" Fawn questioned with a glare.
I motioned for Olivia to come to the stairs. She came to stand beside me. Well, she was actually standing a little behind me as if she was scared. I felt a little bad for her. She had a rough night, but I didn't know how to comfort her. I was hoping spending time with some girls her age would help her.
"I have a friend for you to add to your little get together, sound good?" I said.
Fawn's glare softened when she saw Olivia and she walked down the steps to meet us at the bottom.
"Sure, we have room for one more," she said, glancing at Olivia.
"Fawn, this is Olivia, Olivia this is Fawn," I introduced, slightly nudging Olivia toward the stairs.
"Wren," Olivia called out, looking back at me like she was wounded.
I put on what I hoped was a genuine smile for her.
"I'll be back tomorrow, I promise," I told her, squeezing her shoulder. "And I'll have your brother."
Olivia nodded and looked back toward Fawn who held out her hand to her.
"Come on, Ava and I were just about to watch a movie," Fawn said, grabbing Olivia's hand. "You can borrow some of my pajamas." And then Olivia was whisked off by my sister.
"Do you want to explain what's going on?" Mom asked, causing me to turn around and face her.
She wasn't angry, but by the look of her she was extremely concerned. Dad was too, but his concern always caused him to shut down a little.
"She just needs a place to stay for now," I said, walking toward her. "Her home situation isn't good."
"How do you know this girl?" Mom asked.
"She's Landon's sister," I replied, looking down at the floor. "Landon's missing."
My mom gasped and my eyes moved from the floor to her. She held a hand on her chest, her eyes wide.
"It's a long story, I'll tell you some other time," I rushed out, moving toward the door. "But I really have to go."
"Wren, honey, let us help," Mom said, grabbing my arm.
"You're helping by letting Olivia stay here," I said with a weak smile. "I'll be back tomorrow."
I dashed out of the house before she could say anything else. All my focus now was on finding Landon. Without Olivia, I could stay out longer and cover more ground without having to worry about getting arrested for kidnapping. Then once Landon was found, we could figure out what to do about Olivia's living situation. She couldn't stay there with such an abusive, violent man.
I started my car and backed out of the driveway, continuing my search for Landon.
***
Landon Reilly
My brain was swimming. The pain had reduced significantly since getting to the hospital, but my head still ached.
"I can't believe you drove all the way here with a concussion," Rojas said, shaking his head at me from the chair next to the hospital bed.
"The doctor said it's mild," I retorted. It was sort of embarrassing that it was only a mild concussion because it had been so painful in the moment. It was enough to make me dizzy and keep me from being able to fight back, but luckily the lasting damage wasn't severe.
"Still," Rojas replied. "That was stupid."
It was stupid on my part to drive all the way back to Providence before going to the hospital, but I clearly wasn't thinking straight; I had a brain injury.
"The doctor said I might not even have to stay overnight," I reminded him. "So, it's not that bad."
"She didn't say that you absolutely should have driven nearly forty minutes with a concussion to get here though."
"I needed to return your car anyway," I said and he just gave me a deadpanned look.
What really sucked about all this was that the doctor told me I couldn't use my phone for a little while, so I couldn't even check on Livi. I had left my phone in the car anyway. I had to have the hospital call Rojas, but I didn't expect him to stay here with me.
"Maybe you could've called and I could've figured out how to go pick you and my car up," Rojas replied after a moment.
I closed my eyes and leaned back in the hospital bed. In retrospect, I knew it wasn't smart to drive in my condition. But I didn't want to keep getting reprimanded by Rojas. I already felt like an idiot, plus I was in pain. The more I thought about anything, the more my head hurt.
"Alright, Landon, I'm going to send you home tonight as long as you have someone who can stay with you for the first twenty-four hours," Dr. Miller said, causing me to open my eyes and sit up.
I hadn't even heard her walk in the room. Rojas was still sitting beside me, his attention on the doctor.
"I can stay with him," Rojas said. "Should I be waking him up every few hours?"
Dr. Miller shook her head. "That's not necessary. If he can sleep, it's best to let him rest and see if there are any new symptoms when he wakes up."
"So, how long do I have to rest?" I asked her. I wanted to be able to get back to Livi as soon as possible.
"You should be resting for at least forty-eight hours," she said. "You shouldn't be doing anything that can worsen your symptoms, so no being on your phone, no school work, no hockey. After forty-eight hours you can gradually start going back to normal and use your phone for ten to fifteen minutes at a time and go back to school. Hockey will have to be put on pause until we can reassess you."
"What about driving?" I asked her.
"You shouldn't be driving within that forty-eight hours either," Dr. Miller replied. "I know you've already broken that rule, but you absolutely cannot drive for the next forty-eight hours. After that, you can start with short distances and gradually go longer."
"Well, he doesn't have a car, so I don't think that'll be an issue," Rojas said, sending me a pointed look. I shrunk a little in the bed, crossing my arms over my chest.
Dr. Miller gave me some instructions for the next forty-eight hours and gave me a date to come back and be reassessed before she processed my discharged and I could leave.
It wasn't until Rojas and I were alone in his car that he started asking me question that I in no way wanted to answer.
"So, are you going to tell me what this is all about?" he asked as he started the car. "I mean, you went to go check on your sister and came back with a concussion, so that's pretty concerning."
It was too embarrassing to tell Rojas what had actually happened. My father got me by surprise and took me down. I should have been able to take him. If I had been better prepared, there was no way he would have won that fight, but I was too blinded by my concern for my sister to see the trap that was laid out for me until it was too late. Now Livi was at home with our violent father. The only thing keeping me from going crazy was knowing that he wouldn't hurt her.
"I really don't want to talk about it," I said, closing my eyes and leaning my head back on the head rest.
Rojas pulled out of the parking lot and started toward campus.
"Did somebody do this to you?" Rojas asked after a few moments. "Did somebody deliberately hurt you?"
"Dude," I said with a sigh. "This is too much for my brain right now."
Rojas laughed and shook his head, but he stopped with the questions. For now at least.
When we got back to my dorm, Rojas followed me up to my room like was actually planning on spending the night with me. We entered my room and I turned to face him once the door was shut.
"You don't actually have to stay here all night," I told him. He looked at me like I was crazy.
"Your doctor said you needed someone with you for the first twenty-four hours," he reminded me. "Are you forgetful? Is this a new symptom that I need to tell her about."
I rolled my eyes, which actually kind of hurt and made me regret doing it.
"I know what she said, but I don't need you to watch me," I told him. "My roommate will be here."
"He's not here right now," he said, looking around the room. "I can leave when he gets here, assuming he's not going to be out all night or come back drunk."
I didn't answer that. I just turned around and sat down at my desk, putting my head in my hands, trying to soothe the pain.
"Ah, shoot, I forgot my phone in the car," Rojas said, patting his pockets. "I'll be right back. You better let me back in."
"Yeah, yeah," I said, squinting at him. I was pretty sure I left my phone in his car too, but it was no use getting it since I couldn't even use it. He would probably withhold it from me anyway.
I lifted my head up from my hands and looked down at my desk. For the first time since coming back to my room, I noticed a folded piece of paper sitting on my desk, one I was sure hadn't been there before. I was too curious to ignore it, so I picked it up and unfolded it.
The first thing I notice was that the words on the page were in Wren's handwriting. It was definitely against the rules given to me by the doctor to be reading during this first forty-eight hours, but there was nothing that could keep me from reading what was written on this piece of paper. I couldn't live with only being able to imagine what Wren had said in this letter. It would tear me apart and cause me to think more than my brain could handle at the moment.
Holding this paper in my hand gave me a shred of hope, like Wren would finally be telling me what I wanted to hear. I let myself think about it for a moment too long and part of me felt dread that he was telling me that he was completely done with me. I couldn't handle that, but I couldn't handle not knowing either. So I started reading.
Dear Landon,
I wish my mouth could speak these words because you deserve to hear them, but for now, I must write them down. This way, I cannot hide what I want to say. It is cowardly of me to have to hide behind this paper to tell you what I really feel, but I will do it so that I can't back out and so I can say what I need to without it being messed up or misconstrued.
I told you love wasn't for me, and that was true to an extent, but it had nothing to do with you. Love scares me, but you already know that. I am insecure and so afraid of losing the love given to me that I decided to avoid it instead of opening myself to it. I know I come off as someone who is arrogant and confident, but I'm really just so afraid of being unwanted. To be unwanted by you would be my greatest failure.
I'm sorry that I couldn't reciprocate what you said to me that day and that I made you feel small. I hate myself for that. I'm sorry that you were vulnerable and instead of reassuring you and returning those feelings, I shut down and pushed you away. You have become so open with me and it was unacceptable of me to try to close you up just to make myself more comfortable. I hope that you can forgive me for that.
What I really need to say to you is: I love you.
I love you. I have loved you for so long that I can't even remember when I started. I have loved you since before I knew to call it love. You consume my every waking thought. You consume my dreams. This love has manifested in many ways before either of us knew what we were feeling.
It's in the way I get more winded when we go running together like your presence is what takes my breath away. It's in the way I sleep better when you're beside me. The way I miss you when you're away for a game and the way I watch every one of them just for a glimpse of you. It's the way I feel sick at the thought of anything bad ever happening to you and the way I would shield you from anyone trying to hurt you. It's in the way your happiness is like a drug to me. Seeing you smile gives me purpose. It's addicting and all I need to keep going is to see it. It's in the way your eyes pull me in and make it so hard to look away. And the way when we're apart, I can't function.
The thought of a life without you terrifies me. I love you now and I will love you as long as I breathe. I will love you in darkness and in light, as long as the sun burns and the stars shine. You have me however you want me.
I promise to love you and make sure that you know it. I will love you entirely with my whole being.
I am yours forever, if you will have me.
If you will not have me, it will break my heart, but my heart is yours anyway.
Love, Wren
My eyes stung as I processed what I had just read. It was overwhelming to think that someone loved me in that way, but I understood it because it was the exact way I felt about him. I wanted to call him and I didn't care how stupid it might be to go crawling back to him just because of this letter. We loved each other and it made no sense to stay apart.
If I had a chance to have Wren here, then I would take it. I wanted him here, to be wrapped in his arms, to have his help with what was going on with Livi.
Rojas knocked on the door a moment later. I jumped up from my desk and answered the door. I was about to tell him to call Wren for me, but he held up his hand. His other hand held his phone up to his ear.
"Sorry I missed your call earlier," Rojas said to whoever he was talking to. "Landon's here at his dorm."
"Who is it?" I questioned. It could only be one of two people: Wren or Livi.
Rojas shook his head at me.
"I'm not sure that's necessary, I'll be here with him," Rojas said. Whoever was on the phone said something and then Rojas took the phone away from his ear to look at the screen, seeing they had hung up.
"Well, who was it?" I asked.
"It was Wren," he told me. "Fair warning, I think he's on his way here."
"He is?"
My heart started beating faster in my chest.
"I can tell him to go if you don't want him here," Rojas offered.
"No!" I quickly replied, clutching the letter tightly in my hand. "No, he can stay."
"Okay..."
We were still standing in the doorway when Wren walked into the suite, his eyes wide and looking wild as they landed on me. He pushed past Rojas and stood in front of me, keeping a slight distance, unsure of what to do.
"You're alright?" he asked, his voice small.
I nodded, then without thinking too much about it, I pulled him to me and buried my face in his neck. Wren threw his arms around me, putting a hand on my head and holding me tight.
I didn't know how long we stood there, but it must have been a significant amount of time because Rojas cleared his throat, breaking us apart.
"You need to go lie down," Rojas said to me before turning to Wren. "I can go over some care instructions with you if you're going to be the one staying here."
"Go get ready for bed," Wren said to me, kissing my cheek.
And I listened because I loved him and he loved me.
And also because my head hurt.
**
Thanks for reading! Almost at the end!