Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty: Just Like Old Times

Chapter Twenty: "Just Like Old Times."

CARLY AND I had a great time at the ice cream parlor.

We ignored the lunch run-in like I requested and she followed through. We talked about anything and everything, except for my past. All she knows about me is that I'm Mexican and moved back to the States four years ago permanently, and that I lived in Los Angeles. She didn't question me about celebrities as much as I expected, which was great, but she was pretty laid back about it.

Though most of the time we were talking about her and her interests. She plays volleyball, and is a writer during her free time. She's a student with decent grades, and is kind of in the office often, so that's something I can relate with her. She also hates a good majority of the same foods I do, so I have a fair idea on what to avoid getting if we ever had a night together. The only hard part would to be not ordering pizza, considering she hates it.

I don't necessarily hate pizza, but I couldn't have it more than twice a week without feeling sick. Plus, my whole family ate Hawaiian pizza, and I couldn't, so I'd have to fend for myself because of my allergies.

It was only semi-recently that I found out about it. Before I was fourteen, I had no problem with it back in Mexico. However, something changed in my body and I got a swollen throat, and my tongue was so swollen, it was bigger than my esophagus. I nearly died that night, and I needed a ventilator until I could have access to an epi-pen and a full diagnosis. I remember that I didn't have mine on me so I needed immediate hospital care. The reaction was too severe for me to have the jab and the symptoms decrease so there was this huge mystery as to why it suddenly appeared.

I was never a huge fan of pineapple in general so I didn't eat it often. I remember that night: my family ordered their usual Hawaiian and I didn't want to cook so I just picked off the pineapple and ate the pizza.

Minutes later, my lips were blue, neck, face and arms turning red and getting rashes. My breathing decreased and my throat, tongue, and lips swelled.

It was the biggest scare of my life.

Now, I was in my last class, waiting for the bell to ring so I can go back to the house and eat something. I don't know why, but ever since lunch, I've actually had an appetite.

For something as small as a sandwich, though.

Alas, five minutes later and the home bell rings. Putting my pencil in the pocket in my binder, I slam it closed, grab my phone and walk out the class. As my locker comes more into view, I see a scrap piece of paper taped near it.

No, it's not next to it, it's on it!

My stomach forms knots and a lump in my throat goes unnoticed. My first day here and I already have hate mail?

Relax, Brookie, maybe you have a secret admirer! Stop being such a pessimist.

I sigh, rip the paper off, and toss it in my bag. I'll read it on the bus so if it is something embarrassing, at least I won't have the whole school laughing at me in person watching me break down.

I don't have homework today, luckily for me, so I simply grab my stuff and lock it up.

Walking outside, I see a bunch of busses. I should have checked the freaking numbers! Now what bus am I on? I mentally slap myself across the face for being so forgetful, but then a miracle happens and I see one of the twins and Lance board a short bus. Yes!

Following in joy, I remember what they did at lunch and how they simply ignored me getting tripped and bitched at by whatever her name was that Carly said.

I should have expected less of them, but the hope was still there. It's nonexistent now.

I take a seat where I sat beforehand, but see it occupied. Furrowing my eyebrows, I see that all seats are in fact taken and the bell hasn't even rung two minutes ago. Damn, these people are fast and desperate to get the hell out of here–not like I can blame them.

I see the familiar face in my seat, though.

Atticus.

I catch his eye, and he moves over, smirking at me and patting the seat. Him and I engaged in short conversations during Chemistry, but it wasn't often. On my end anyway.

He tried to talk, but I needed to copy word for word on what Ms. Ox was saying otherwise I'd probably fail the class before I even started.

"Join me." He says, and winks at me. I look to the back of the bus, to see said twin and Lance talking. However, once they hear Atticus talking, they stop and look up to see me. Immediately, the twin and Lance's eyes go dark and I watch their jaws visibly clench.

Thinking of what happened earlier, I raise my eyebrows at the boys in a challenging manner and smirk.

"Gladly." I accept, and take the seat next to my chemistry partner.

He winks at me, and the bus turns on and drives off, following the other busses.

While everyone got dropped off at their houses, Atticus and I have talked about what Ms. Ox's attitude and stuff is all about, and we both came to conclusions that she just needed to get laid. She wasn't an ugly teacher and she looks to be in her early thirties, so it's not like her libido doesn't exist anymore.

A hand taps my shoulder about fifteen minutes later. I turn around to see Liam. "Yes?"

"What are you doing?" He demands, his eyes dark and his body looks tense. I haven't a clue why.

"Excuse me?"

"With him," he snarls. "What are you doing sitting with him?"

"I'm sitting with my chemistry partner, but it's not like it's your business." I snap. Wow, the most words I've said to anybody besides Carly today. Man, I think I'm on a roll–school-wise, I mean.

"Brooklyn." He says my name like a warning.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I shoot back.

Liam doesn't answer and instead, somehow tenses more.

The bus stops, and Atticus rubs my arm. "This is me, Sweetheart." He whispers, and I gulp at his close proximity as his breath fans my ear. I move over, letting him out and watch him as he smirks back at me, winks again, and then jumps off the bus. I can't see his house due to trees, but considering he lives in the mountains like we do, I expect it to be a fairly large home.

"What the hell was that all about?" Liam snaps once Atticus is off and the bus is moving again. Other students on the bus haven't seemed to notice one of the populars talking to the new girl, but I could be wrong.

"Two can play at that foolish game you three are playing." I growl. "If you act like you don't know me, what the hell makes you think I should be able to act like you exist to me?"

Liam's eyes only soften the slightest, and I haven't realized how much time we spent having a staring contest until the bus pulls up to the house.

Liam still hasn't said anything. "That's what I thought." I say through gritted teeth and stomp off the bus no further words said.

I enter the house, and find it empty. I just assume Ella is out in the barns or in town while Thomas is probably at the office or something.

I throw my bag on my bed and grab my phone. I still have several hours until I should be expecting a call from Lacey and the group, so I decide to dig through my boxes and unpack, since I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, so I might as well get situated. Plus, when I have enough saved and have my license, I can repack everything properly and organized and leave.

I have no idea how much time flew by me unpacking, but soon enough, my name was being called down for dinner. Great, now I gotta face them. Well, I can always act like I don't know them or that they aren't there since they seem to have no problem doing that at school. Man, I am such a spaz. So damn overdramatic.

And it's a school reputation so it's important I get that, but I have no idea why I'm reacting like this. Maybe it's because they flirt with me one moment and act like I'm a ghost the next?

I don't know. I just know that if they're ignoring me, I'm ignoring them. They can't expect me to act like everything is fine and dandy when I'm only talked to after school.

Double standards; don't wanna follow them, don't expect me to follow them either.

I sit in my usual spot, quiet and eating quickly so I can run out and wait for Lacey to call. It's 6:30 now, and I'm more than halfway done my plate.

"Someone's hungry," Ella laughs.

"I'm expecting a call." I smile at her.

"Oh, alright. In that case, don't let us stop you." She grins. "As long as you don't answer your phone at the table then all is well."

"Thank you." I reply softly.

"Is it him?" Someone asks. I turn to the table from the kitchen island.

"What?"

"The guy you were on the bus with." It's Liam. "Is it him you're expecting a call from?"

"It's none of your business, Liam." Thomas interferes.

"If it is him dad, then it is!" Liam exasperates.

"How is it, son? It's Brooklyn's life, she can talk to whomever she wants to." Thomas says in a warning voice.

"Not when it's Atticus O'Connor." Liam seethes.

The whole table falls silent.

Once done, I ask to be excused and clear my plate. Nobody has said anything since Liam said who it was, but I can tell they have some kind of fallout with him. It's not like I care; this is only a temporary home and I've not felt all too welcomed.

Whether they like it or not–myself included–I'm going to have to befriend Atticus; he's my damn lab partner for the rest of the semester.

My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket, so I finish up with my dishes and jog outside where I have better service. The sun is merely setting, and the breeze is tolerable in my thin layers.

I immediately answer the FaceTime request. "Lacey!" I breathe into the phone.

"Brookie!" She exclaims, holding her phone out so I can see her.

"How are you? Where are the others?" I ask.

"I'm holding in there. I miss you like crazy and things are so weird around here now that you're gone. Are you okay? I seen your arm. Is the pen–"

"Don't go there," I say quietly, "you're on speaker. I'm outside but I'm not taking any risks. Nor will I."

"Okay." She whispers. "We'll talk about it some other time."

"Okay." I nod. "So, as I was saying, where are the others?"

"Right here," she says, and faces the screen. I immediately see the four other faces.

"Hi!" I say with a wide smile, tears starting to well up in my eyes. I've missed these guys so much, it's ridiculous.

"How is Canada?" Jody asks.

"Different," I breathe out. "They're meaner, but like nicer at the same time. They're confusing."

Justin laughs. "Everything is confusing for you," he winks at me, "have you gone to school yet?"

"Yeah, actually today was my first day."

"How was it?" Jason asks.

"Any hot girls?" Johnny cuts in, causing me to laugh.

"I don't bat for the other team, but Jody, this school is filled with gorgeous guys. Like, every guy at this school is attractive. They're either cute but not ugly, or Greek Gods."

"Oh my God," Jody breathes. "I wish I was there."

"Hey!" Jason says, hitting her arm playfully. "I'm right here you know!"

"Sorry." She grins, and kisses his cheek.

I smirk. "So," I tease, "are you guys finally together?"

A blush forms on Jody's face. Jason's arm goes around Jody's shoulders. "Mhm."

I laugh. "Well thank God! It's about damn time."

Those two are so perfect for each other, it's sickening. They've been so clueless about it towards one another, and they just laughed in our faces whenever we pointed out that the other had feelings for them.

If I was there, I'd slap them both on the back of the head and say I told them so.

Because I did; I was the first one to say so.

"That's what I said!" Johnny scoffs.

We all continue talking, having conversations with me about how life's been the past couple months and how much things have changed. I didn't think I'd get missed that much, but I can tell Lacey and Justin were having difficulty with it, even though they don't show it.

I'm deep in the forest somewhere, talking to my friends in case a conversation came up about my past when I hear some twigs crack in the distance.

"What are you doing?" Jason asks. "Bonfire?"

"No." I answer. "I'm somewhere in the woods."

"Why in the hell are you in the woods?" Lacey yells.

"Because, you kept bringing up San Francisco and the Pen! I don't want this family knowing they have a fucking criminal living in their house."

"You aren't a criminal, J–Lo." Justin says sternly. "You just didn't make smart decisions in freshman year."

"Yeah, but I may as well be called one. I was involved. I was there when it happened. It's all my fault."

I feel some tears well up in my eyes, causing me to blink them away rapidly. I sniffle once I tuck the memory away for now.

"See, this is why you need to let me move there! Watching you cry and not have one of us to comfort you is killing me." I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and smile sadly at my best friend.

"I can't let you do that, Justin." I whisper. "It's my fault I'm here in the first place."

"Why do you think that?" Lacey interferes. "Your mom was the one who accepted the offer."

"I was the bad kid." I argue. "If I wasn't so bad then they probably would have let me live with one of you two. This is my punishment."

Jody scoffs. "Out of the pictures we stalked, that household isn't exactly a good punishment. You live with beautiful boys."

"Again, I'm right here!"

"Oh hush." Jody says.

"Why don't I hear Casey saying the same thing?" I ask with a chuckle. I knew the conversations were too quiet, I just couldn't place my finger on it; now I can.

"He has baseball practice. He's going to meet us later." She answers.

There's a silence, and another cracking of twigs in the distance fills my ears.

I shouldn't have wandered far after sunset.

Whoops.

"J–Lo." Justin says, but I ignore him and tell him to shush for a minute.

"Brooklyn?" Johnny says quieter.

"Brooklyn, how deep in the woods are you?" Justin demands.

I shrug with wide, cautious eyes. "I don't know. A few hundred feet, maybe. Maybe further."

"How up north do you live?" He asks.

"Like, very. I live in Thunder Bay."

"Brooklyn!" He seethes. "Get the hell out of there!"

"What?" I say, confused. "Why?"

"There's bears up there you idiot!"

Bears?

Oh crap, right.

"I'll be fine!" I protest. "They're probably, like, no bigger than Jax." Jax is Jason's huge St. Bernard. He's definitely bigger than average, but boy, that dog is cute as hell. He's such a cuddle bug, that that's probably what bears are like as well.

I watch Lacey slap Justin's arm. "You're the idiot, J, she's never seen a bear before!"

Justin looks very taken aback. "But–but you said you went to the zoo! I heard Cara and Holly talking about it!"

"That was Brooklyn Hall! Not Brooklyn May!"

"Well shit." He huffs. His attention then turns to me. "J–Lo, Brookie baby, bears are usually like four Jax's tall, and about two Jax's long. They aren't playful."

"What?" I question. "I thought bears are just another name for dogs that are wild!"

"No, sweetie, those are just called wild dogs." Jody says to me, explaining slowly like I'm a damn baby.

"I'm not fucking two years old," I grumble. In all fairness, I totally forgot bears existed. I forgot all about what Lance and his family were worrying about when Lucas asks to go out after sunset.

Well, at least I get to see a bear if that cracking in the bush is one!

"We know." They all say in harmony. "But you've never been in the countryside except for your aunts ranch. You've only ever lived in San Francisco, Mexico City, or LA. You don't know the dangers."

"I'll figure them out," I say through gritted teeth. "And if I can't figure it out then I'll just experience it."

"Don't say that." Justin warns.

"Well I'm fucking sorry that you guys think I'm stupid for running around Bear Country alone without any knowledge of it."

"We never said you were stupid. Stop getting so frustrated." Johnny says. "We're just looking out for you."

"Well maybe I don't want you to!" I yell. "I know I've pulled some childish stunts and am a very emotional person, but I have reason and you know that since Taylor and I don't need to be babysat! I don't need my friends who are thousands of kilometres away telling me what to do and what dangers I'll face. I'm a big fucking girl who can take care of herself without any supervision! God, you guys are just like my fucking parents." It's hard to focus when I bounce back and forth with languages based on my mood, but thankfully, everyone understands me.

Jason will just need to be brought up to par later.

It's like everything slows down and time stops. The only thing I can hear is the loud beating of my heart through my chest and ears. The chirping from crickets and faint whistling of the wind is muted. I feel my cheeks dampen and get cool as the tears start to freeze in the breeze. My breathing is rapid and hard to maintain. My jaw and the rest of me is tight and rigid. I collapse on the soft soil softly whimpering, hiding my face and placing my phone on my lap.

The group is silent as I collect myself from my outburst. Honestly, this isn't a surprise to them. I have my days like any other person, but I just happen to over-exaggerate. My emotions are like women on their periods: unpredictable.

I can be fine one moment and angry or scared or upset the next. It's not bipolar; it's just from flashbacks. I'll get memory triggers from conversations, and that'll zone me out.

I'd be mad at myself for being stupid. Scared about the aftermath, and sad that I ruined my life without any fucks given.

I deserved it.

"You're withdrawing."

My head snaps up and I see that Justin has Lacey's phone in his hand. "What?"

"You heard him," Jason says.

"What makes you think that?" I continue.

"Because." Justin says. "You experienced the exact same thing when–"

"Okay, I don't need reminders of my mistakes, Justin."

"Okay," he says, "I just remember you going through the phase. You were moody and snappy and all over the place. The exact same thing you're doing now."

"So what?" I hiss. "I'm not withdrawing."

"What did you run out of, J–Lo?" He says softly. "It's us; we know. We know everything about you, and how you work, before and after. You don't need to lie to us, you can't. We can see right through them. Don't hassle yourself."

I sigh defeatedly. He is right; I couldn't lie to them about something they already knew about. Especially Justin; he's seen me at my worst–my very worst. Lacey has seen me at my worst too, but Justin may have experienced it on more than one occasion.

"Just tell me," he whispers.

I take a couple minutes to collect myself. I sniffle, and begin picking at a leaf. "I ran out of my antidepressants."

"You what?" Jody gasps.

"I did." I whisper. "My first night here. I was looking through my boxes to find my safes and when I did, I got caught and then when I was alone again, I seen that I somehow ran out. I could have sworn they were there but I guess not. I've been missing them for three days now."

"You need go get another prescription, Brooklyn," Lacey says.

"I will," I say. "But my doctor hasn't gotten ahold of me. I don't have the office number either."

"I'll send it to you," Justin says. "I have your doctor in my contacts."

I frown. "How? Why?"

"From when you were involved with Taylor. I had him on speed dial in case you o–"

"Okay, okay, yep, I understand." I interfere once again. "Can you forward it to me? I really need them."

"What are you going through right now?" Johnny asks.

"The symptoms?" I question. He nods. "I'm all over the place. The sleeping pills aren't working and I'm more moody in general, obviously. I don't know, I'm just always upset. I was wondering why the nightmares were coming back."

"You really need to get them, Brookie," Johnny tells me. "It's only a matter of time before things get worse and we aren't there to help you."

I sigh. He's right. "I know." I notice that the sunshine has darkened quite a bit since Lace called me in the first place. I tap my home button and glance at the top box and see that we've been FaceTiming for nearly four hours. "Shit, what time is it in LA?"

They look confused at my sudden change of subject. Johnny's the one with the phone in his hands, so he checks. "It's almost eight. Why?"

"Aren't you guys seeing a movie or something?" I gasp. Crap, the last thing I wanted was to interfere with their plans. "It's late."

"Yeah, but it's not on until nine thirty. Besides, it's not that late, Brookie. Why the sudden glum?"

I curse myself. "Because I've kept you guys from hanging out. I've spent hours telling you my drama and–"

"Stop being so pessimistic." Jason says.

"Stop cutting me off, Jason!" I snarl.

"That was rude." He exasperates, "It's not nice to call your friends lamb chops."

Lamb chops? "I didn't call you a lamb chop."

"Shit!" Justin shouts suddenly.

My eyes widen. "What? What is it, what's wrong?"

"Shit, shit, shit guys." He keeps cursing, and soon enough or group is questioning him. "I'm sorry, J–Lo. We should let you get to bed."

"But it's only eight–" Johnny starts to argue, but Jason slaps him across the head. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"Brooklyn is ahead of us time-wise you idiot!" Jason says, and I see him roll his eyes. I guess it's a good thing they found a park bench and places the phone in it so I could see them all better instead of them taking the phone from one another.

"Really?" He gasps. "I totally forgot."

"We're sorry, Brookie." Jody says. "It's probably late where you are. You should get some sleep since it's a school night."

"It's only. . ." I check the time. "Eleven. . ."

"Well that sums it up!" Lacey exclaims. "We're hanging up, now. Go to bed, and I'll text you sometime throughout the week and we'll talk on the weekend, okay?"

I nod sadly. It felt so normal talking to them, even if it was over the phone. How can I survive two years without them?

"We love you, J–Lo." Justin says with a smile.

"I love you too." I say sadly.

"If you need anyone to talk to, give us a call. It doesn't matter what time it is, okay?"

I nod. "Thanks, guys."

"Night! Love you." Jody screams.

I laugh. "Love you's too. Night."

Then they click off, and I'm left in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere, alone.