AVA
I was in a world of my own, stabbing my cooled-off breakfast with the blunt tines of the golden fork between my fingers when I heard Lilith greeting her father in the most deceptive voice that ever existed.
I even heard the dramatic noise of pretentious kisses. I am sure she gave the poor man some of her lead astray hugs and facial pecks to delude him into believing in the person she had designed over her real self and only wanted him to see.
She is something, right now I can't squarely label what her intentions are, for every time I come across her, there's always a different attitude following after another in her character. When this minute she's in love with me, the next she wants to torture me. But when it comes to her brother, it doesn't have to be like that. Granted, he and I have our lowest hours, but it's hard to say that he could deliberately bring torment to me.
"It's afternoon." Christian corrected his daughter that mistook afternoon for the morning.
He was arranging some food stocks in the fridge that mom had shopped from the store this morning after she learned we were out of milk.
Christian had an apron on and a cook hat that doesn't even correspond with his activity. While he wore it earlier, I had laughed at him. He only tapped my nose with his finger with a smile on his face and served me breakfast, recommending I mind my business, which he's right.
It was the first time I had smiled since Leigh took me to my bed in the morning and left me vacant on it.
"I slept late last night." His daughter complained and pull a chair next to me on the kitchen table, but she didn't actually sit as she should, for Christian had already started preparing her some food. But no, she prodded herself into my territory, drawing me by the arm, off of the chair, almost dropping me down the floor in the process.
My ankle almost twitched and I lose balance.
"What the hell?" I snapped furiously, and at the same time, her father scolded her too.
"Duhhh..." Flippantly, she rolled her eyes at him and kept fighting me out of the room until we were alone in the hall.
I can't believe her.
As we stopped, I yank away angrily, and lazily her eyes rolled at me. She immediately have her hands on her hips and a contented expression as though I was the one being dramatic in the room.
If things were easy between us, I wouldn't be standing here, but everything is a bloody hell that I have this tingling sensation of wanting to know what she has to say. And it's awkward, it's racing in my pulse.
"Come on, stop being a bitch." She slurred.
And there it was; another attitude of hers I am used to.
"What is your problem? Can you just leave me out of your gross sins?" I annoyingly spat in a whispering tone, since I do not wish for any of this to be out of our small air.
She rubs her forehead, as though stressed and heaves a sigh.
"Look, my head is hurting, and looking at you makes it even worse." She responded arrogantly and while I gape at her insolence audacity she boldly raised a question, "Now tell me, you didn't tell on me, did you?"
So that's what she is worried about? I see.
"I am not a snitch like you."
"What does that suppose to mean?" She sassily scoffed and adjust her unflinching eyes at me.
Lilith might feel like she can control everything, but not me. She doesn't faze me. I can tell her that if she wants to know in words.
"You said you were only delivering something; you didn't say it was at Arlen's."
"I didn't snitch. He had been asking about you. And you seem lonely, I just wanted to reconcile you two." She smile weirdly grievingly and with her fingers buried in the pockets of her shorts, she slowly stepped towards me until the tips of our slippers are touching.
No, I am not going to let her kiss me again.
"You deserve some true happiness, Ava." She decided.
Something soft flickered in her eyes, I almost took her words for sincere that an automatic sigh of relief escaped me.
My lips slightly parted and my brows confusedly hardened until she leaned in, her fingers attempting to brush a strand of hair from the side of my face and her lips getting incredibly too close to mine.
My breathing hitched suddenly as she imprisoned me in this awkward situation.
To be completely honest, my body response wasn't for any more than the intimidation she was applying over me.
I couldn't speak, I just watch her face getting too close to mine and as bad as it hurts to admit, she is bloody pretty and her emerald eyes were hitting the pendant chandelier above us and the wall sconces in the archway make it even more hypnotic to move.
"You deserve everything, Ava." She uttered straightforwardly as a noise arose from the living room direction, pulling me out of the strange lure.
I shook my head and shove her. It was then I was able to back off from yet another wicked trap she was about to launch.
My heart was already fluttering like a hummingbird in my chest.
God, I hate her for all of this.
"IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE." I bite on each word, having the irritation of her audacity simmering in the vessels of my blood.
If she expects me to thank her for ruining my life then she must be crazy.
Causally, her eyes rolled, meaning she doesn't even care.
"Is this why you look miserable? Honey, you look like you're about to shit your pant any second and when that happens, I wouldn't be there to smell that." She flips her hair and knowingly bumps into my shoulder as she stomps off towards the kitchen.
I don't understand why she is doing this.
With tears prickling in my eyes, having the lids brutally heavy, I vexedly followed behind her.
"You are not listening," I screamed or rather, squeaked while she adjust to walking like someone on heels, whose name had been added on the Hollywood walk of fame.
The weight of the annoyance was too massive, it was like my voice wasn't loud enough and my body was invisible.
Without thinking, I pulled her back by her bouncing silky chestnut hair and she yelped in pain abruptly.
I guess now I have her attention.
"You can not go playing with my head. What did I ever do to you?" I shouted while she watches me in horror with full-blown eyes.
"I am-" She begin, seeming out of words to articulate, so it was in her favour when her father intruded in the conversation.
"What is this again? Can't you go twenty-four hours without going against each other?" He fought, appearing very unpleasing with our behaviour. But it was his slag daughter who started it. "Now I see you are done with your lunch, Ava. Go upstairs, and you to the kitchen." He directed with his fingers as he spoke to each of us.
I know it was wise to part us from a room at this moment because my fingers itch to squeeze her throat and stop any circulation of blood in her body until she's pale and lifeless and able to stay away from my life but this whole scenario seems like a father backing his daughter. It's clear Christian is shamelessly bracing his daughter while he tosses me upstairs.
"You are not my father, I do not take orders from you." In a suffocating tone, I angrily snapped at the man and his eyes blinked in disbelief.
Yes, I barely lash out at him. I can't remember if I've ever done that my whole time staying here but we both know it was hard.
"He sure isn't." Lilith derided, rearranging her perfect hair that looks just like the copy of the locks my fingers had manipulated some hours ago. "She sees you way differently, dad." She added from behind him while inspecting her fingers nails in a gossip manner.
His hand raises, shutting her up but she keeps her stupid smug over her complexion for he couldn't see what was behind him and so she was entertained with my fuming.
"Ava, you would do as I say, now." The man, who is my mother's husband, demanded.
I folded my arms over my chest, slapping my right foot against the floor, and rebelliously waited, testing his boundary.
If he can't deal with his spoiled daughter, he definitely does not earn the authority to boss me around.
"I would not. I am not going anywhere."
Is not like he would hit me as mom had done under the influence of the world he had given to her, except I would like to see him try.
"What is happening here?" Mom's voice broke through the scene as I stood defiantly in front of the two Americans ganging up on me.
"Dear little sister thinks my father isn't hers, therefore he can't order her around."
"Ava, is that true?" Mom sternly inquired, bringing her attention to me the moment Lilith sarcastically answered her question.
When I wouldn't stop glaring at Lilith and the disgruntled man before me, Christian heave a sigh and said to his wife, "I think she is just having a bad day."
If I could speak freely, I would be so glad to tell him he didn't get it very right. Whereas my day can't be labelled as good, it isn't as bad as he had assumed.
You see, I could say today is the happiest day of my life, I could write it down in my journal repeatedly, okay scratch that, I've written it down in six of my journals and shelve them in six different places. Little because I would have to reread them every day and relive the epic moment Leigh and I had shared but mainly so that I would never have to lose the memory of our time together, should in case someday I happen to step on a bad luck tile that would bring unfortunate incident and I would lose my memory. God forbid that, though. But in case that happened, then last night or perhaps more accurately, this morning with Leigh is what I would like to remember, or at least to read continuously until it flows back into my head that I had loved him and he had loved me back with his entire soul.
But still, despite the fact that today was good, there was something bad threatening my happiness.
A voice in my head telling me, it was wise that I had enjoyed every minute with Leigh. That same voice had also applauded me for writing the memories down, for it hadn't forgotten I have a timer ticking too.
Who knows perhaps what happened this morning, would never happen again between us? And God knows I want more of him.
When mom asked in the most sincere and troubled tone, "Can we talk." I was already on the verge of tears.
None of them would understand what it feels like to be in my state. To be smothering inside and unable to ask for help. To be so lonely when I have a family and everything life would offer. Although, Lilith might have an idea, maybe even know too much. I would like to believe she's involved in this whole Arlen situation, it was too explicit.
How can he ambush me like that? Last night was the first time we met ever since he graduated and it wasn't the first time he was in town, unlike Leigh.
Why wait until now to torture me? It is not a coincidence Lilith took me there, she was allying to him.
"I do not want to talk." I sounded wobbly, too vulnerable, it was embarrassing to be standing in front of them.
I must run away.
"If anything is-" Mom begins quietly from behind me when I started to speed away.
I don't need her to understand. In this case, I only hope she never would.
So I screamed through my almost closed throat for her to leave me alone before exiting the space for the backyard.
The time passed quickly by while I sat on the curb, by the pool with my legs in the water. It was noon but it didn't feel any different, given the long night I had had and the clock ticking against me.
A lot of things were worrying me, I can't begin to understand how in the smallest time, things could get this complicated.
I have nothing going on good. Not even with Leigh that it seems silver and gold at the moment, because one way or another, I am going to lose it.
To be clear, I do not have the intention but deep down I know am about to hurt him.
The funniest thing is that I didn't even consider how every option there is for me would all lead to hurting Leigh, until right now that I was sitting out here, watching the spectacular glitters from the sun reflexing the small waves my legs were created in the pool.
Supposing I choose to be stubborn for love and stood around Leigh, for he is who I love; Arlen had promised to ruin Leigh's chances for a good career which wouldn't only damage Leigh's reputation but the entire family, together with me in the process. And then if I choose to let him go as Arlen wanted, that option would bloody suck too.
Is it even possible I can survive this time?
"Someone wants details, I figure it will be better to hear from you."