Chapter 161: Chapter 161 The Past Can't Be Washed Away

It was raining. So was it on that night Ou had a dream, holding a book on his hand.

So was it on the day that they became best friends.

Cermin was lost in thought as the rain continued to pour overhead, and he didn’t have an umbrella again. He had been avoiding interacting with Ronin for weeks.

All just because of that one thing. And this rain made him feel like he was an idiot putting their friendship to waste for that one thing.

That thing was fear.

Ronin was also the same. He felt that he’s putting all his effort to waste if he will be bogged down by Ou’s memories.

He will not be in fear.

When the memories come, let them come. He’ll pay attention to them like he does with passing flies buzzing on his ear.

He too doesn’t have an umbrella, so he walked towards the nearest shed as the buildings were too far away even when he runs. He just came back from the Monk gardens.

That place where he tore and stepped on a certain letter in a fit of rage. That letter was long gone and nowhere to be found.

He was not wearing any expression on his face until someone called out his name.

“Ronin?”

He turned. This person…..

He really was too bright and annoying to look at like the sun. Even with the gloomy, dark skies during the rain.

He just gave a small nod. “Your Highness.”

The person did not join him in the shed yet, hesistation written on his face.

Ronin just made a wry smile. “You should find another shed soon, Your Highness. The rain would get stronger soon, you’ll get a fever if you don’t—“

“I’m sorry!”

Cermin bowed his head dripping in rainwater.

He bit his lip. Even after what he had done, even after running away like a coward and then treating him like he was invisible for many days…..

His friend still worried for him to tell him he should find cover in the rain. Worried about him getting sick.

He really doesn’t deserve such a good friend like Ronin.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have avoided you. I don’t judge you, I was just shocked. I mean, we’re all humans in the end, right!? We like who we like, and I shouldn’t be scared of that!”

Ronin scrunched up his eyebrows. ‘What is he on about?’

He knows that Cermin was avoiding him due to that misunderstanding about the boys in his room, and expected him to get over it soon. But he didn’t.

Yet Ronin never worried about it because he knew would come back to him eventually since he doesn’t have any other friend. And he was right.

But what’s with this bullshit apology?

Cermin went on and on, monologuing at this point.

“Whether its the matter of the people you prefer, you shouldn’t be afraid of telling me! I didn’t mean to make you feel hurt by avoiding you, I just needed time to think about certain things. I was very dumb for overreacting, so please forgive me!”

“You are still my friend, Ronin! I still want to be your friend, don’t be angry—-“

“I forgive you.” Ronin eventually said just so he’ll stop talking.

Cermin’s eyes widened and he looked up with those beaming eyes. Ronin felt annoyed, but at the same time amused.

‘Ah, he’s always so loud and just go on and on. He really is dumb.’

“Y-You do?” Cermin blinked, as the rain went stronger and caused his hair and clothes to be soaked.

Ronin nodded. “Yes. Sit here already, we can just forget it ever happened.”

Cermin’s spirits rejoiced, and he almost hugged Ronin, but realized that he was soaking wet so resolved to just sitting by his side. Ronin edged further.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Cermin bowed his head again and again. “Sorry again! I accept you! Though as friend, I hope you understand—-“

“I will never like you that way, Your Highness.” Ronin said with a forced smile, his teeth gritted.

“Oh, of course! Yeah….. Sorry again.”

“Mn.”

There was an awkward silence afterwards.

Cermin grinned to himself, looking down and gripping himself.

(He forgave me so easily! I’m so glad! I was so scared to lose my only friend for something so stupid again…..)

(If only gege had forgiven me this easily too….. None of it would have happened.)

Ronin raised an eyebrow when he heard these thoughts. Gege?

Cermin’s grin turned into a sad smile as he continued pondering about this ‘gege’.

(But it’s still my fault. What I did to gege was even more terrible, I don’t deserve to be forgiven. From now on, I shouldn’t make Ronin suffer the same way.)

(Right, I should protect him from anyone who bullies him for being gay!)

Ronin: …. ….. ….. …..

‘I’m not even gay, you idiot!’

But then again, this misunderstanding was better than him learning the truth. Ronin sighed, and said:

“Your Highness….. What you saw, just put your mind off it. I’m not offended. Just treat things the same way as before.”

Cermin turn red of embarrassment. “O-Of course! Again, I don’t judge you! I’ll be sure to take you to a male brothel next time—“

“That is not needed.” Ronin’s temple veins almost popped. “And please don’t talk about it so publicly. You know how people are.”

“Yes! Right, of course! I’ll keep it a secret!” Cermin made a zipping motion to his mouth.

“Mn. People dislike me already for being a Commoner with black skin.” Ronin said. “My very presence is a menace to others.”

Cermin shook his head. “No! You’re not a menace at all, and I don’t dislike you!”

Ronin chuckled amusingly at this. “Thank you. Even my mother must have thought I was a burden.”

His mother being Ou’s mother, who committed suicide.

Cermin frowned. “That’s terrible. Your mother shouldn’t be like that, she should love you no matter what.”

“No…. She does. At least she think she does.” Ronin said. “Until she felt like she doesn’t anymore and abandoned me when I was 8.”

Ronin had gained more memories, but not as visions. Simply as facts.

Ou’s mother ended her life when he was just that age. She was a college professor, but taking care of a child and other expenses had taken a toll to her mental health.

Not to mention discrimination because of her appearance.

Her child suffered the same thing. That was why during Belladonna’s birthday, Ronin had visions of being bullied.

Cermin furrowed his brows, and placed his hand on Ronin’s shoulder.

“I’ll never abandon you. I’ll always be your friend.”

At this, Ronin saw his face merge with someone else’s.

“We’ll be friends even if I go, Ou! Don’t worry!”

He shrugged the hand off immediately.

Cermin blinked at this, and Ronin just gave an empty, blank reply:

“Yes. We’ll always be friends, Your Highness.”

And they were back to that awkward silence again, waiting for the rain to pass.

Meanwhile, on another shed were also two girls that awkwardly shared it. One scowling just as much as Ronin, and one as confused as Cermin.

“Apprentice Naehmnaid….. What did I do wrong? What did my father do wrong?” Marigold fiddled with her wet veil.

Calla answered snidely. “Why are you asking such questions, Sister Rozenaur?”

“You mentioned my father back then and never elaborated.” She looked at her with those large, teary doll eyes. “Please tell me. I need to know so that I may right those wrongs, and we wouldn’t have such a poor relationship with each other.”

Calla despised those innocent eyes to the core.

“Nothing can ever fix it, Sister. So stop trying to. Let’s just work together and finish all duties without trying to form a fake amicable relationship.”

Marigold shook her head. “No, I won’t allow it. It doesn’t have to be fake. I really want to lose this hostility between Monks and Artisans, between you and I.”

She took Calla’s hand, and Calla pulled it back but she held on firmly.

“Please, Apprentice Naehmnaid. I beg you, tell me what it is that overcome your heart with anger until there’s no space for compassion.”

Calla gritted her teeth. “I am very much capable of compassion. I have friends. I only have no compassion for the likes of you.”

“And why is that!? Tell me—“

“You want me to tell you?” Calla grinned mockingly. “Alright.”

“Many years ago, there was a man called Hyacinth Naehmnaid. He was a beautiful man, he had great prospects as a singer, and his singing can conjure images on someone’s mind.”

Marigold started to see this man appear as Calla told his tale, appearing from the rain.

This man with a Pearl Heartstone, just like one half of Calla’s face.

“One day, he expressed his devotion to a Monk woman. But this caused another Monk to be jealous, and so he created rumors that Hyacinth’s pure white skin was a farce, and that he was truly dark underneath. He was a daemon—No! He was the King of Daemons, the Lord of Darkness himself!”

Marigold saw Hyacinth holding hands with a woman who had an Emerald Heartstone, and another man watched from a distance with anger.

He shoved Hyacinth until he had fallen to the ground…..

And this man had golden skin, holding a golden branding iron that he pressed on Hyacinth’s forehead.

“I exorcise you from this premises, daemon!”

Marigold was horrified, letting go of Calla’s hand. Calla ended her Theater of the Mind and asked in a somber tone:

“So… Do you understand now, Sister Rozenaur? Why I despise you…”

“Why I despise your whole family so much?”