Aarush
It's so done! How can they just give Priya's saree to Yuvaani!! And no one even objected to it. I felt anger and guilt at the same time. Anger because, obviously my oh so sweet mother gave my love's saree to Yuvaani. And guilt because I couldn't help it. I shouldn't have obeyed at first to shift Priya's belongings to the other room. I should've taken care of it myself.
There's a saying, if the start of the day is good, the day goes well. The start is so torturous, my day will be traumatic already. I couldn't work at my office, and my head of department had given me three more freaking files to review by five pm. What can be better than this, right?
Do note the sarcasm.
My office hours passed by quickly, thankfully. I was on the way home, and I didn't wish to go back. Although, I had to. No one understands my point no matter how strongly I try to keep it. They all forgot her as a passing wind.
But I won't.
She was. Is. And forever will be the person I look up to.
I reached home and Yuvaani opened the door for me and I asked her where everyone was as there was no noise in the house, which was unusual. She answered that they had already left for the venue, and moved back to the room.
She felt sad. And I know that because of me. But if you consider my situation, I wasn't at fault either. It was my mother. And everyone was so casual about it.
How would you feel, like the last belongings of your love being snatched away from you? When people just force you to move on? When they show sympathy but they don't mean it?
I got my Pihu ready and she crawled to Yuvaani asking her to pick it up. When Yuvaani picked her up, Pihu threw the hairband off.
Kids!
And Priyansh was ready too. I got him twinning with me. Soon, we sat in the car and I noticed she was sitting in the backseat with the kids.
Maybe because of the morning incident.
I felt guilty. Really guilty. But I know, even if I explain, it won't count and she won't understand my place. Soon, he reached the venue and got down the car. Pihu was so adamant today to be with her, she refused to come to me. She kept playing with her mangalsutra, and her thin chain that she was wearing.
As we got in, Vihaan was upset with me, and I cheered him up. I thank God that he's a kid. If he weren't, it may be too difficult for me to cheer him up.
Then, I made my friends meet Yuvaani and they exchanged greetings. It felt unusual somewhere. They called her 'bhabhi'. It was just a few months back they were addressing Priya by that name.
How fast night changes!
I saw her playing with Pihu and Priyansh in a corner of the room. I don't know why but it felt content that my kids are accepting her as their mother. They just rely on her. They go to her more often than me. I ain't opposing the change, but I am constantly worried that they shouldn't go away from me. Because they're all I have.
My gaze went up to her. She looked good. But sad. Learning the fact I'm behind her worries, it made me feel guilty. I ain't causing things myself. It's just- the situation puts me in the way that I had conflicts with her. And not a single word she uttered till date. I can't see her like this. I need to apologize and look after my actions before performing them in front of her.
"Aarush" Atharv called me.
"Yes bro!" I went to him.
He put his hand over my shoulder and dragged me out. Making me sit near the garden frame that was much shorter in height. So we sat there.
"What are you doing, bhai?"
"What?" I asked
"I'm sorry in advance. I know, it's not okay to interfere yet I want to talk about it"
"About what Atharv? Come straight to the point"
He sighed and continued "I'm talking about you and Bhabhi. You both felt awkward when you both were around us! And I bet, it's the same situation in personal too"
"Hm"
"What hm?"
"I don't know what to do Atharv" and I told him about this morning's incident that was bothering me.
"Hm.. but, be practical Aarush, that's not Bhabhi's fault. It was Aunty's na. Look, I know why you reacted that way. But please give this relationship a chance. Maybe, you both can work out well. You both can sync well. You both can understand each other well"
"And, you only told us that she was forced into this. Still, she's facing all of this, unwillingly." He added.
"Exactly my point! Then complain na! Why doesn't she just come to me and complain about it! About my behavior, about this marriage!" I made my point.
"Shikayat apno se ki jaati hai Aarush, gairo se nahi. Have you ever tried to make her comfortable around you? Have you talked to her about herself? What she likes, what she dislikes, how she feels, how was her day, and what not! I too have a wife, Aarush. I know what she needs at the end of the day. Women just need to be loved and cared for. Very often my wife tells me that my one hug before the bed makes her feel better"
[ We complain to someone we know, we trust. Not any stranger ]
"I-I know, but-"
"I know. Ye sab tu Priya bhabhi ke sath karta tha. And it's obvious ki tujhe hamesha unki yaad aayegi. Because a mere thing can remind you of her. I agree. It's difficult. I agree. But, one step towards the mother of your children, Aarush? She's all by herself. I can see that. Her face itself depicts it. And I spoke to your Di about her, so I know things"
[ I know you were doing these things to Priya. And it's obvious that it'll remind you of her. ]
"I'm guilty Atharv! I don't know how to-"
"Just try talking to her normally. Don't react too quickly to any situation. Understand her. At least, try to understand her?" He asked, unsure of my reaction to which I nodded.
I know, this was a major fuck up. She seems to be so innocent to face this all. Thanks to Atharv, to pave me a way out of this.
"I know, maybe I married due to Priya, but I need to fulfill my responsibilities as a husband to Yuvaani." I said.
"Bro, it's not about the responsibilities, Aarush! Why aren't you getting my point?"
"Huh?"
"Tu sach mein samajna chahta hai? Yaa tu pretend kar raha hai ki tu samajna chahta hai?"
[ Are you really willing to understand? Or you're just pretending that you want to understand? ]
"Really Atharv?"
"Aarush, you just want to make it up because you messed it up. Agar ye mess nahi hua hota toh you wouldn't have even thought about her, right?"
[ If this wasn't a mess so you wouldn't have even thought about her, right? ]
"I- mean-"
"Exactly. Aarush, she needs a human to understand her. She left her family behind and got married to you. She's taking care of your kids. She's being a mother to them! And trust me, in today's world everyone is selfish. But, I trust my intuition that she isn't selfish. I don't know why- but"
"Okay, I'll understand her as a human"
"Drop the formalities, Aarush. You aren't understanding it. The moment you'll realize what she's doing for you, it'll be too late for you to mend your relationship" he marked with a serious tone.
While thinking, my gaze roamed around and I saw Yuvaani's parents entering. I quickly rushed to her to inform the same.
The moment I tapped her shoulder, she lifted her face to look at me.
Her face
Her face seemed so innocent. I swear. Her eyes were a bit red, if noticed. Her eyes never accused me of anything. But I felt that she was trying to convey something that I couldn't read.
Guilt engulfed me again. But I managed to inform her that her parents were here. Their conversation wasn't healthy enough, it felt that the warmth of the family was missing. I think she mistook her mother's intentions and rushed to a corner. I assured her parents that I'll take care of her, and I followed her behind.
I sat beside her for a few minutes and she left out soft sobs that worried me, and I asked her what's wrong. She was in denial and still I tried to assure her that I'll help but she seemed to fight it alone, and asked me not to interfere in her family matters, with a smile.
The smile was obviously a fake one as it didn't even reach her eyes.
I tried to cheer her up and bring her to her parents back so that they could chat with her.
The most astonishing thing was when her mother asked her why she didn't call even once after her marriage. Like, for almost three to four weeks or one month if you say so.
Isn't it a long period?
It really caught my attention, and I mentally noted to ask her what's wrong. It somehow felt serious.
But then, Priya's parents came and unfortunately they came to know about Yuvaani being my wife. I wanted to tell them, but not this way-
Mumma criticized Yuvaani, and when I was about to put her words down and respect her, she questioned my love for Priya. That irked me and I reflexively denied her point. Papa then took her away.
I looked at Yuvaani, as she was standing beside me. I could see the tears forming in her eyes but before I could say a thing she rushed off and stumbled upon Tara.
She asked the baby boy, which was in Tara's arms, to be with Sanskar. And she dragged Tara out.
Meanwhile, I had an urge to talk to Yuvaani and sort everything out, but it would not be ethical if I went behind her and listened to her and her friend's talks.
I know she would pour her heart out. Maybe that's what she needs.
A friend.
I looked at my kids, who were with my parents. And I took them and had a seat.
"Mama" Pihu uttered
"Mumma!" My baby boy repeated her.
"Yes babies, mumma will be back" I told them, only if they could understand.
It was the first time Priyansh called a proper 'mumma' word, and Yuvaani wasn't there to listen to it for the first time. I looked at them. My babies. It's been a long time since we actually spent time together.
If I look at my babies, many things have changed for the better. I can already see Yuvaani's reflection in them. The way she treats them, the way she plays with them, the way she cares for them. Everything.
One more secret I've noticed. Their cries have been less frequent. First they used to cry for everything. Now, they're always around her, and whenever they're hungry she magically understands them even before they cry. I've noticed that she doesn't feel disgusted while changing their diapers. I expected her to do so. But she put me down, and I'm glad that my munchkins are accepting her.
I was constantly worried about her and I saw her emerging with Tara. Both of us fed Priyansh and Pihu rice and dal, perfectly mashed.
Soon, it was time to bid her friends goodbye. This is what she informed me. I asked her to hold on as I thought we should leave too. Moreover, I didn't get all the good vibes from her friend Sanskar, whom she was going to see off too.
I hurriedly carried out the baby essentials bag and dragged it out.
She seemed to hug Tara, which was quite obvious for me, and she spoke to her son too.
Coming to the main part, I was conscious about. Sanskar. He hugged her so tightly that his grip felt that he would crash her anytime soon. I wished to save her, but then he kept his cheeks on her head too!
The audacity of this man!
Her husband is standing right in front of you, and you are performing these kinds of stunts?
I informed Yuvaani already, about Sanskar. But she seemed to have a good friendship with him. She couldn't believe my words about her friend.
I could see the hunger in his eyes for Yuvaani. And I am clearly against it.
Bro! Get another girl! That's my wife.
And on top of that, he asks Yuvaani to call him if needed.
A wife calls her husband first, if needed.
And-
I never gave her the reason to be called out 'her husband'
Guilt engulfed me again, and I wasn't looking at them. I kept the bag in my car.
I have to be a good husband to her first.
I have to be her friend first.
I need to apologize.
I need to mend my mistakes.
I need to correct them.
Seeing her with any other man, be it her friend always makes me realize where I stand in her life. I need to apologize.
Yes, when she'll sit in the car, I'll apologize to her.
We'll start afresh.
With a new morning, tomorrow will be our new start right?
Soon, she came and sat in the backseat with our kids, and I was seated in the driver's seat.
"Why haven't you sit in front?"
"Kids are asleep, they need proper space to sleep"
"Yuvaani, ek baat kahu?"
[ Can I say something, Yuvaani? ]
"Mai pehle aapse kuch maang sakti hu?"
[ Can I ask you something? ]
"Pucho?"
[ Yes? ]
"Just do me a favor, Aarush. Don't try to initiate any conversation with me unless it's necessary. Like, kids stuff is okay, any legal stuff is okay, any emergency stuff is okay. Please, I humbly request you. I can't take any more of it." I
"But-"
"Please Aarush. It's the first thing I'm asking from you"
My heart sank hearing her words. Here I was thinking about our new start and she asked me to maintain distance.
I shouldn't force her. I want to give her, her own space. Her own time.
I've messed up a lot this time. Or else, she never spoke to me about these words.