Yuvaani
I woke up to the most irritating sound of the universe.
Alarm.
I took a glance of my phone which reads four thirty am. Today's Vihaan's birthday and we have pooja at seven am, so I need to get stuff done.
I woke up from the bed, and moved to his room. Everything was quite dark as it was early morning. I switched on the dim lights and made my way to the restroom to complete my morning routine.
For now, till the household stuff gets done, I'm wearing a simple t-shirt and track pants. Later on, I'll change into saree.
I looked at the kids, they were looking so serene while they were asleep.
How can anyone not love them?
They can just attract anyone by their innocence. And, I bent to kiss them. Pihu wiggled a little when I kissed her, but I patted her and she was asleep again. My gaze went to their father, who was asleep too.
Thank you for the cake, Aarush.
I covered him with his comforter that wasn't on him.
I then moved to kitchen, slowly choosing the bedroom door behind me. I saw Di making something.
"You're up?" I asked her.
"Yeah, good morning! Actually, I forgot to make some sweets yesterday, we need sweets for Pooja na?" She said.
I greeted her back and said "Di, but we can bring it too. Why are you doing it?"
"Early morning 7o'clock which shop is open, dear?"
That has point.
"True, I'll help you" I said and joined her, following her instructions.
"But why are you up so early, Vaani? You should've slept more"
"Di, I thought ki khana bana du. Because we know na, sham ko celebration hai, and today's full day will go in that itself! Everyone will be so busy, they won't have food. So, I thought jaldhi khana ho jayega toh baad mein sabhi kaam nishchint roop se ho jayenge. Papa ki sugar bhi toh hai na, he needs medications. For that he need food on time"
She looked at me with awe. I can read her expressions.
"You're so caring, Vaani. You think about everyone in this house, except yourself. I would say, you should look after yourself too" she said pouring the flour in a large container and making dough of it.
"Puran poli?" I asked and she nodded smiling.
We prepared breakfast, lunch, and sweets for all of us and it was six seven am now. I need to wake up kids and get them ready by six thirty!
Jiju, Papa and Maa were awake by now and they arranges all the Pooja samagri in the hall itself. Jiju made giant space in the middle of the living room, sliding the sofas to the end. And in the middle of the room, they placed the havan kund, and necessities along with it.
I headed to the room and saw Aarush in his t-shirt and jeans. He looked fresh indicating, he has been ready.
"Aarush, aaj pooja hai" I reminded him.
He looked at his attire and then at me "Oh, yes! I forgot! Thank you" with that he took his clothes from his wardrobe and went to the restroom.
I like him how he respects my presence in the room. Being a man, he can even change here, but it would be awkward for both of us! So he went in. He's truly a man of culture.
I went to the cots and cooed the babies and took them in my arms. They snuggled a bit and finally woke up. Still, encircling their arms around my neck.
"Mama" Pihu yawned.
Oh my baby! She's so cute!
"Mama" Ansh tried to push her.
"Ansh! Aise nahi karo" I tried to make him understand but how can a eleven month old understand it? He didn't and continued it.
Pihu began crying and I took both of them to bed. Thankfully, Aarush came at the same time so I can handle at least one of them properly. He took Pihu as she was crying and patted her, cooing her.
"Why aren't you ready?" He asked me, and I looked up at him.
Holy God! Aarush in kurta is a whole different story I must say!
He's handsome.
"I thought I'll get the kids ready first, then I'll get ready" I replied not gawking at my husband. I quickly moved my gaze from him and lingered it on Ansh.
"It's six twenty, Yuvaani" he alerted me.
"Yeah, I'll get the kids ready first, then I'll get ready." I replied.
"I think you should get ready first. Women take a lot more time"
"No Aarush, mujhe bas saree pehen'ni hai. That's it" I tried to explain to him the simplest thing. But men being men, why do they always think like that? I don't know!
"Okay, your call" he uttered.
"Mai baccho ko nehlaake aati hu" I was about to go but he held my hand.
"Mai nehla deta hu, you can get ready till the time"
"Aarush, trust me. Not all women take hours to get ready. Plus, you're already ready whereas I'm not. So, aapke kapde kharab ho jayenge. Let me do it, time pehle hi kam hai" I insisted.
I held both the kids and went to the bathroom. I checked the water temperature and poured the water into two buckets equally. And now I made them both sit in it. While they're busy playing with water and duckies, they're done.
I wrapped them both in a towel and brought them back to the bedroom.
"Naha liya tum dono ne?" Aarush asked them in his baby voice and took them both from me and soaked them with a towel and I was going to the wardrobe to get kids clothes.
"Kapde bed pe hi hai, Yuvaani" My steps halted as I heard his voice and I twisted my heels to see the same.
"Oh, haa! I haven't seen those! Sorry"Â I gotta grab them but at the same time he was about to take the same and our hands brushed. He instantly removed it and began dressing Ansh.
It was accidental
"Umm, diapers" I forwarded it to him.
"Yeah" he took it and made Ansh wear it, and Pihu was ready.
My Ansh was wearing a kurta with its pants, looking like a mini man. And my Pihu was wearing a floral frock. Both the munchkins were too adorable to leave, but I have to get ready.
"Papa" Ansh said and he went in Aarush's arms. Pihu joined him too.
"You get ready, I'll take them to the living room" Aarush uttered and left.
I opened my wardrobe and took out the saree which Maa gave me. I switched on YouTube and began following the instructions.
My saree was almost done, but I heard a knock on the door.
"Yuvaani" Aarush called out.
"Haa?"
"Late ho raha hai"
"Bas abhi aayi, aap Di ko bhejo na ek minute ke liye"
"Haa, but jaldhi karo Panditji ji das minute mein aa rahe hai"
"Ji"
In no time Di came and helped me pinning the saree and she was called by Jiju so she left. I left my hair open and put a single mini stone bindi in between my eyebrows. Complimenting my looks with a pinkish-brown nude shade lipstick, and light jhumkas.
I heard a knock at the door and I asked them to come in. I was facing the balcony sliding door as I was wearing a jhumka, which was hard to clutch in the first place, but with great difficulty I did it.
"Priya-" I heard him.
I turned back and saw Aarush. His eyes met mine and I don't know what to say. Why is he calling me by her name? He never does that when he's in his senses.
"Um?" I asked as I was unsure of his words.
"Priya's saree! WHY ARE YOU WEARING IT?"
A shiver ran down my spine as I heard his words. His tone was much more rough, that frightened me.
I never intended to wear something that belongs to her.
Now it made sense. The dots are connecting backwards. This is a Khaandani Saree. And being Aarush's wife, she had this saree. I see! Shit!
"I can expl-"
"YOU DON'T NEED TO. YOU CAN'T JUST WEAR HER SAREE YUVAANI. YOU SHOULDN'T TOUCH MY LATE WIFE'S STUFF WITHOUT MY PERMISSION"
"I gave it to her!" I heard Maa say.
Maa was at the doorstep with the rest of the family. I think they might have heard his voice and came here.
"It's Khaandani Saree. And it's our ritual that the newly wedded bride wears this saree on her first Pooja or occasion. What's wrong in it?" Maa explained.
"WHAT'S WRONG IN IT? DIMAAG TOH KHARAB NAHI HO GAYA HAI AAP LOGO KA? PRIYA KI SAREE DE DI AAPNE USKO PEHN'NE KO!!!"
"Wo Khaandani Saree hai Aarush. Aur Priya abhi nahi hai bete. Saree ki haqdaar Yuvaani hai" Maa said, emphasizing more on my name.
"Wah yaar! Ye sahi hai aap logo ka" he clapped sarcastically.
"Priya chali gayi. Usko bhool jao. Wow! BHOOL GAYE KYA USNE KITNA KUCH KIYA HAI ISS GHAR KE LIYE? HAR EK MEMBER KE LIYE? HOW SHE ALWAYS PUT OUR FAMILY FIRST? AAP BHOOL GAYI KYA USNE AAPKE LIYE KITNA KUCH KIYA HAI?"
"Mai kuch nahi bhooli hu, Aarush. But iss saree pe Yuvaani ka haq hai. Yehi riti-rivaaz kehte hai''
"Kaise riti-rivaaz? Riti-rivaaz banaye hi issi liye gaye ki log sath aake khushiya manaye. But inn riti-rivaazo se yaha kisi ki khushi nahi hai. Dikh raha hai na aapko? Aapke inn so called riti-rivaazo ke kaaran ghar mein kalesh ho gaya!"
"Chup aarush! Bilkul chup! Yuvaani yehi saree pehen rahi hai. Aur tum kuch nahi bol rahe ho iske aage"
"Oh haa! Mai kaise hi kuch bol sakta hu! Aur aap jaisi Maa ho, toh koi baccha kuch kaise bol sakta hai!"
"Sorry Yuvaani. Please tum yehi saree pehen ke Pooja mein baitho. Theek hai? Hamare yaha insaano ke emotions se zyada unke cultures ko zyada ahmiyat di jaati hai'' He said, turning to me. And he joined his hands in front of me to say sorry.
I can't be more guilty. Aarush's state was much worse than ever I've seen till now. His eyes flared with anger but his words defended his love.
Their love. Their undying love.
Kya mera saree pehen'na hi unki iss halat ki wajah hai?
It's Khaandani Saree Yuvaani. Being his wife, it's your right.
Yeah, it is.
But Mera Mann nahi maan raha hai ab, after this incident.
"Koi baat nahi, Aarush pehle se hi aisa hai. Tum bura mat maano. Taiyaar ho gayi hogi toh please aa jao?"Â Maa said.
I nodded to her.
There was an unknown ping in my heart. This saree. I don't want to wear it. It's Priya's. And the way he asked me not to wear it hurts more. I know he loves her. But I wasn't ready for this!
Di and Jiju were at the door giving me looks full of sympathy. I don't know what to say! It's just tears forming at the back of my eye.
Don't cry, Yuvaani.
Stay strong.
It's not your fault.
We all went outside and everyone sat down. Panditji came and arranged his things. I was seated beside Aarush.
I don't know what to feel.
I'm not at fault. I know that. But it makes me feel guilty when I know it's Priya's. I should've used my brain earlier.
There was a sensible tension in the atmosphere. In fact, Vihaan too, was silent after listening to Aarush's voice. It seems that he lost all his excitement. Vihaan was performing the havan, he was following what Panditji was asking him to do. Within just mere minutes the atmosphere took a one eighty degree turn!
Soon, the Pooja got over and we distributed sweets and as soon as Panditji left. Aarush changed and was the main door step. I went to him.
"Breakfast?" I hesitated.
"I ain't hungry" he said and turned to unlock the door after wearing his shoes.
"Kab tak aayenge aap?" I asked him.
"I don't know. Don't worry, I'll be on time" saying this, he left.