Yuvaani
I've been to Tresind. Tara, me and Sanskar have been chit chatting all random stuff, and our dinner was almost over. I feel the urge to disclose my feeling to them. After all, they're the only one who can understand me, support me.
"Tara- Sanskar- I have to tell you a thing" I said in pauses.
"What?" They said in unison completely unaware of what news is on their way. Their excitement deceased as they saw my serious face.
"I'm married" I let it out in a breath after battling numerous battles within.
"You're joking, right?" Tara asked
I wish I was.
But then, I showed her my mangalsutra that was covered by my dupatta.
"What!!! But last month hi toh mile the and you were unmarried- y-ye kaise!?" It was Sanskar. By his voice anyone can tell he was shocked.
I sighed. I can understand their reflexes.
"Three weeks ago, I got married" I began my story.
"To whom? You didn't love any one Vaani! Arranged marriage?" She asked being horrified.
"His name is Aarush. He was a widower. He married me as his kids were so small-" I tried to explain them, but my emotions were bottling up. But he intruppted me.
"Kids? Are you insane Vaani? You didn't want kids this early! We all know that. And Shadi? Uppar se windower se? Jiske do bacche hai?" Sanskar panicked.
"Shh.. dheere bolo! Bata rahi hu mai sab" I said as I wanted not to flash this news to my neighbouring tables.
"It was dad, maine rishte ko mana Kiya tha but" I nodded my head defeatedly.
"Are you okay?" Tara asked me.
"I don't know Tara! I really don't know. I don't know where I am, what I am doing! I feel lost! I expected my parents to understand me. They failed. Unexpectedly, I got good in-laws. They support me in everything. I'm so grateful to them. I thought I'll get love from my husband, I failed. He can never love again" I controlled my tears. My voice felt weak but I managed to speak well.
"Kuch bhi hua toh call us, okay? We are there for you!" Sanskar assured.
I nodded to him.
"Kya kuch bhi hua? Tu samaj bhi raha hai kuch? Bro she's married! It's not easy!! Bacche kitche chhote hai Vaani?" Tara first exploded at Sanskar and then turn to ask me.
"They're 1 year old this month maybe"
"Oh my god!! They're so small!" He exclaimed.
"Tujhe hi inn sab mein kyu fasna tha? Can't you inform us earlier? Before your marriage? We could've helped you!" This wasn't Tara. Her rage was speaking. I knew she didn't liked my parents since beginning, as they were quite controlling.
"Exactly!!!!!! Bhaga dete tujhe!" Sanskar pulled out an impossible way.
"It's okay guys! Chill Karo! Kabhi na kabhi toh honi hi thi na shadi, abhi hi sahi" I tried to make sense and swallow all the emotions and my phone rang.
It was him. He asked me when he should come to pick me up and I asked him to come now.
"Guys, chill! He's a good man. I've got a good family. There's no need to worry about me! Everything is good. Even his kids are also sooo cute na!" I tried to cheer them up by showing Ansh and Pihu's pictures. But they looked at me with sad expressions.
They looked at each other, and I can say one hundred percent, they didn't believe me.
After showing, I kept my phone in my bag, and held their hands. "Trust me, I'm happy" I tried to assure them.
"Job?" Sanskar asked me.
"I've resigned that. I'll join any online one" I smiled at him heartedly.
I know these two people who I'm talking with, would care for me till no limits.
I placed my hand over theirs'. "Agar mujhe kabhi kuch hoga na, yaa kisi bhi cheez ki zarurat hogi, I'll let you both know first. Okay?"
They're still not satisfied.
"You didn't have to do this on this first place" It was Tara, who saddened a bit.
"Hey! See I'm all good Taru! Mujhe kuch nahi hua hai, it's okay na, I know you're my best f-"
"Agar best friend hoti toh bata deti tum mujhe ye sab pehle" she blocked me off while saying.
"Aisa nahi hai" I couldn't control much now. M
A teardrop escaping right eye.
I've lost my parents' support. And the one who should support me- my husband, won't support me (emotionally). They are my last hope. I can't lose Tara and Sanskar.
"Guys- I'm sorry!" And that was it. I broke down. I bowed my head and sobbed. Tara came and hugged me tightly. And on my other side Sanskar was there but he didn't touched me.
"Kaash Vaani, tu kam se kam itna toh kaabil samajti apni dosti ko ki tu aake itne badi baat bata paati mujhe. You literally shared smallest things with me! Why not this?"
I just hugged her tighter. I love her. She's my one of the biggest support system. I wanted to let it all out. I wanted to complain about every single thing which hurt me post marriage. I want to complain about Aarush. I want to complain about my parents. My marriage. Everything! I want to cry to her about how hard heartedly I left my job. Because she's the one who cares. She's the one who supports me. Encourages me. Motivates me. I felt her tightening her grip around me. But I didn't want her to get more tensed about thinking my relationship with Aarush. So I let it be the way it is.
With time, my sobs subsided, and I told them how my marriage was done in just a week, how hurried the situation was, etc etc and they consoled me.
Then we were done and moved out. I hugged her and Sanskar too did, with a forehead kiss. That made me feel loved. Ye used to always do this when someone has vent his/her's an emotional instability in our group. He's genuinely a man with ethicates. He has a good level of understanding.
I saw his car coming into view, and I went to him and asked if he would like to see my friends. I introduced them and Sanskar said "You're lucky, man! You got Vaani as a partner" and he playfully hit his chest. I know why he said this.
Hearing those words my gaze met Aarush's. Maybe because it was the first time I'm being addressed as his wife by a third person other than our families. I felt a different kind of feeling, eradicating in my stomach telling me I'm his.
"Yeah, indeed I consider myself lucky as she's my wife" he uttered stressing on the last two words profoundly and he intertwined his hands with mine.
Pleaseeeee God noooo! I'll fall for him- If he keeps doing things like these!
For a moment, I felt my dreams coming true. I don't want to imagine it, but I can't really help it.
My husband.
He's telling them I'm his wife. These were one of the least expected things I've considered. I've never thought he'll accept me as his wife this soon. An unknown warmth is spreading in my body from his hands. And I literally felt goosebumps.
Is this what falling for someone feels like?
No. Vaani. Don't. Don't go there. You know aisa kuch hota hai toh something in the universe is already waiting to hurt you! All thanks to my experience. So don't be extra happy or something. It's okay. It's normal.
Normal? A man who is your husband telling other's that you're his wife is normal? If you would have been in a simple marriage I would agree. But not this can be termed as 'Normal'
"Let's go!" I said as I wanted him to answer my questions only himself.
We sat in car and I bid my friends bye. We buckled the seatbelt and ignited the engine all set to drive. The car ride went in comfortable silence with complimenting background music.
"What was that?" I initiated the conversation with him once we got in our room.
I've changed and so does he. He was making his bed and I was folding my suit properly.
"What?" He asked. From his expressions one could clearly tell he has no idea of what I'm talking about.
"You told them I'm your wife?" I looked directly in his eyes.
"Um.. aren't you?" He asked me back.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't change the reference"
He sighed and took a brief pause and said "I think your friend likes you"
As soon as his words reached my ear I was taken aback.
"Sanskar? Not even a question!" That was absolutely unbelievable.
"I'm just stating facts. Nothing more"
"You don't even know him Aarush, how can you judge him like that?" I was clam at tone. But inner me wasn't. Because I know Sanskar isn't like that! I felt the urge to defend him. He's my best friend!
"Anyone can tell that Yuvaani just by the way he looks at you"
"He doesn't. Aarush" I defended.
"He does!" He replied almost immediately and it was like more impatient reply. What has gotten in him today?
"Even if he does what's the point in that? I'm married"
"Exactly! You're married. He shouldn't do anything like this"
"Please don't talk like this about him. He's a good man" I said as I felt his tone subsiding. At first I thought we would land in a quarrel, but it makes no sense to fight with your spouse cause of a third person.
"You're married to me, Yuvaani. What am I supposed to do as a husband?"
I smiled at him. I'm liking the fact he's being responsible towards me. But I also want him to know what I think of him. What I expect of him. I know my expectations won't come true, but still.
"Do you really want to talk about it, Aarush?" I asked him genuinely. I want him to know that need him to share things that's going in my mind. Untill when I'm going to rely on outsiders?
"Let's talk" he said.
"Balcony, kids are sleeping" I said and we both moved towards it.
"You said you'll be my friend after marriage and that didn't happen. The very next day of our marriage you yelled at me. Our conversations are more about kids and important stuff. It feels that you always come to me to say sorry! And nothing else. I needed someone to share, and you w-weren't there. And when I go to my friends as of today, you doubt them! How should I survive then? Alone?" I muttered. My voice was calm enough not to start a fight.
Why the hell I'm thinking about fights today?
"I didn't mean that, Yuvaani. I'm really sorry if you felt that way-"
"Again sorry, Aarush? I'm really not willing to listen to those sorries now" I told him honestly.
"Sor-"
"Ah! Let it be, we will talk later" I gave up as I saw one more apology was coming my way.
"Nahi, matlab-"
"It's okay, you have to go to office tomorrow. And Cause of me you're already late. So, I guess next time?" I said and was about to go but he held my hand and made me stop.
"It's difficult for me, Yuvaani. Everything. I hope you'll understand me someday"
"I understand you, Aarush. That's the only reason I'm with you. But, I really hope you'll understand me someday" I smiled, removing my hand from his hold and moved out to my room to get some sleep.