Yuvaani
Feeling his fingers on my bare waist again, my heart churned into an unknown excitement. Our skin contact was-
Something unusual to me.
But, then I lost the warmth of his skin as he put me down as we were in the elevator. He pressed the ground floor button and stood there.
"You can hold my hand, if your feet are hurting"
"No, no.. it's okay" I lied. It was not okay. The thing isn't that my feet were hurting. It was just my stupid wish to be close to him. And I know he won't like it, so better respect the distance.
Then he tried to pull me in a swing again, but I denied him insisting that I wished to walk. He supported me while walking and made me sit carefully in the car. Then he sat on the driver's seat and drove out of the premises.
The clinic approached soon and there was no rush as it was quite early. We were the first to appoint the gynaecologist and we went in.
She checked me and we sat across her desk. She informed him that everything is normal. I glanced at him and his expressions read as 'I don't believe you'
"Are you sure, she's okay?" He asked. I was right! I was right!
"Yes, Mr. Nair. It's just that she'll take a bit more time to adjust with the change. Moreover, she doesn't have any major side effects. These are normal. But yes, take care of her health. Do give her meals on time with proper rest. I'm prescribing medicines to reduce the swelling. And if the swelling isn't reduced after five days, visit again"
"Okay" that's all he said and took the receipt that she had given him. And then helped me to reach the car. A few minutes later he halted the car.
"Wait here, I'll be back" with that he stepped out of the car. When I was going to question him he had already closed the car door.
My gaze followed him and saw him visiting the druggist.
He takes care of every single minute thing!
That's true. As far as I've learnt post marriage, he is a caring person. Even if he doesn't show it. I remember when he replies maa in monosyllables, but he's the first one to notice that her feet massaging oil got over and buyed a new one without anyone knowing it. He's a great father too. He now knows why the kids are crying, is it hunger or discomfort or they just want to be in his arms.
My respect for him has grown into multiple folds when he takes care of these little things, which normally men tend to ignore.
My trance broke as I heard the door opening and closing. He sat and close the door wearing the seatbelt and placed the packet on my laps.
"Thank you" I muttered to which he just smiled at me.
"Mai kya nashta banau aapke liye?"Â I asked as I didn't had any topic to speak about.
"Aaram karo tum. Nashta ban chuka hoga, mai wahi kha lunga" he said glancing at me for a second and then averting his gaze on the road.
"Umm.. office mein sab theek hai?"
"Haa"
Here I was trying to build a conversation but he was replying in monosyllables!
Why are you even trying to talk to him? You never did this on your own!
It's nothing like that-
Are you noticing Aarush? Your one touch and she's changing. My brain did a small happy dance at the thought of it.
It isn't that thing!
It is. It is all because you've felt unusual today. And you liked it.
I liked it?
Yes.
I don't disagree.
That means you agree.
I just said I don't disagree.
Means the same.
I just said I don't disagree.
Whatever, Vaani. We know where all this is going.. but be careful, don't hurt yourself in the process. Okay?
I didn't replied. I looked at his face for a while. I sometimes don't believe that he's my husband. That I'm married. Because we don't have that thing between us.
What thing? Sex?
Fuck. NO!
THEN? My brain screamed.
That connection..
It builds with time, and someone has to take initiative. It's not like how you both are doing right now. Making no efforts in each other's life.
I-
Don't deny when you really don't mean it.
I became silent as I don't know what to say. It wasn't an awkward silence between us, it was not too comfortable either.
He helped me to get home. And as the door opened the baby screams were emerging profoundly. We looked at each other in horror thinking the worst case possible. With that, he helped me to sit and he asked mom what's the matter.
"They hit each other" she said cooing Pihu.
While Priyansh was with Aarush. Pihu saw Aarush and she wants him to hold her. So he gave Priyansh to me. It is the usual scene. I think Pihu don't like me yet, she barely comes to me. Like.. when others are not around, then she would prefer me. At first when I was new in this house, she always used to cry whenever I held her! But I think she'll take time, I'll give her my full time.
Aarush quickly had breakfast and went to the office. Mom and Dii had declared they won't let me work till I get all fit, so I'm idle by now! Hey no! I have work. Those job screenshots, I need to pick one of them and apply for it. I think it's the perfect time to knock it as the kids were busy playing with their Dadu and I'll have no disturbance.
Or else Priyansh used to press any button on my laptop and last time he sent 'ghj' email to my friend as I was composing an email to him. My naughty boy!
It has been an hour and I've short listed two names of the companies. I'll decide the final one later. I closed those electronic devices and put them on the other table.
My phone pinged.
Message from Tara
Chalo milte hai! Long time no see guys!
She sent to our friends' group. And a wave of guilt passed my heart as I haven't told them about my wedding. They're my best friends! How can I forget to tell them?
I consoled myself and I decided to tell them whenever we are meeting.
I replied her back "I'm in"
Our group consists of five idiots. Naina, Tara, Me, Gaurav and Sanskar.
Naina and Gaurav got married three months ago and they're on their honeymoon phase. They were dating since college and got married thereafter. We have been friends since our College days, and absolutely nothing has changed between us.
Later Sanskar too replied "I'm in"
Tara : Great, I'll text you Venue, Time, and Day.
Sanskar : Sure
Me : Works
With that I kept my phone aside. A few minutes later I heard a knock at the door and there were Maa and Dii. "Aaiye na" I welcomed them and told them they don't need to ask my permission as it's their own house.
They came and sat next to me on bed.
"Beta, kuch kehna tha" Maa initiated. She was a bit hesitant. I just hope it's a nothing-to-worry type of news.
"Jaise ki tum jaanti ho, Vihaan is turning five next week and we're celebrating his bday as he wants. Grand. But uss party ke pehle ek choti si Pooja hai beta Ghar par. Ashthachiranjivi Pooja. Aur, apne khaandan mein ek rivaaj hai beta ki nayi dulhan ka koi bhi pehla occasion ho ghar mein, usko Pooja ke liye Khaandani Saree pehen'ni padhti hai. Toh tum isse pehenogi? Please?" Maa forwarded a box before me.
"Aap request kyu kar rahe hai Mumma? Mai zaroor pehnungi" I assured her.
And then, we three discussed the last minute preparations for his birthday.
"Tum yahi raho, mai lunch leke aati hu tumhare liye, don't move okay? And tell me the meds also, I'll bring those from store"
"Arre Di, aap tension mat lijiye. Aarush laaye the medicines, wo waha table pe rakhe hai. Lunch? But I'm already full!" I whined like a baby and that is rare. I barely complain to people. But Mumma and Di are someone who makes me feel home. I love them!
"Vaani, you need to have lunch. Meds are needed to be taken too" Di remarked. I sometimes see my own mother in her. Maa also used to say the same. I miss my parents.
I had my lunch and now all three kids were on the bed, playing. I've fed them and I know they'll sleep anytime soon. Vihaan is teaching them both to pronounce his name. Priyansh is not paying any heed to his elder brother and is sucking my ear! Ansh does all wierd things, but I love my baccha. Vihaan is trying to teach Pihu and she says "Bian" instead of "Vihaan"Â in her baby voice.
"Mami, ye dono toh bilkul acche nahi hai! Mera sunte hi nahi! Mai inko chocolate nahi dunga!" He complained coming to my lap and putting his head on those.
"Baby, wo chote hai na issi liye, jab wo bade ho jayenge tab wo acche se baat kar payenge" I tried to explain him but I'm not sure if he agreed to it. Vihaan played with the stuffed toyed lying on bed and let out a yawn.
"Aajao baccha, so jayenge thoda. Aapko neend aa rahi hai" I forwarded my hand towards him and he came in my embrace.
Then steadily I placed him on my lap after sleeping. Ansh was quick asleep too. Now I've been feeding Pihu. Her little fist relaxes giving me a hint that she's full. And then she detached her lips from my body bobbing her head here and there.
I made her sir straight and wiped the excess milk on her cute little mouth. I patted her to sleep and after good forty five minutes she slept. Putting kids to sleep is a difficult job I swear!
I tried to place Ansh on bed but his lips twitched and he moved towards me. I've read somewhere that babies need warmth. I think this might be the reason. So I held in my right arm slowly in order he didn't get up. But he did!
I made him sit on bed, and set Vihaan beside me, in the middle of the bed. Vihu is literally adorable baby! He still sometimes sucks his thumb in sleep. Then I kept Pihu between Vihaan and me, she's a heavy sleeper. She won't get up. And I covered them both with blanket.
After a few good minutes of patting Ansh, sleep was nowhere near in his eyes.
God! Why did I even try to move him!
There is only one way to make him sleep. He came to me crawling and put his fist on my chest. That's what I was talking about. He isn't full yet maybe.
I held him securely in my arms and gave him milk, covering him with my saree's pallu. After few good minutes, I felt his action stop indicating he's asleep. But I kept holding him.
No risk this time!
I did my blouse and slept with kids.
-----
I felt something moving on my chest. I opened my eyes slowly and saw it was Ansh, asking for milk. "Ma-ma-ma" and he grabbed my wedding chain. I was in daze, so I began feeding him covering with my saree and I felt sleepy again.
Vaani, it's not the time to sleep!
Just five minutes. Just five! Please!
No.
Shut up. See you in five.
"Yuvaani" I heard someone utter my name distinctly.
Maybe a dream.
"Yuvaani" I felt someone shook my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes and it was Aarush.
"Um... Yes?" I was still sleepy.
Why are his hands still on my shoulder?
Ansh was full on dancing mode on my laps. All the wiggles and all movements were abrupt. As he's teasing his mumma that he's way too energetic than me.
"Um.. Priyansh is full"Â he mentioned looking the other way.
But why is he looking away?
Is it-
OH. FUCK.
I immediately covered my chest with my saree. Due to Ansh's wiggling it might have slid down.
"Da-da-da-da" I heard Ansh's excited voice. I think he recognised his father's voice and emerged sliding the saree aside.
Aarush looked at him maybe he thought I'm done covering. And abruptly looked on the other side when he saw Ansh
"Uh- I'm sorry! I haven't seen anything"