Yuvaani
I was sitting just right before the holy fire and my heart was clenching each time Panditji was reciting his words of mantra. But a baby cry broke my trance when I looked at him.
The person next to me is becoming my husband by this process called marriage, which is currently undergoing. His son clinged to him, he didn't get annoyed. He's quite patient. Following his son, his daughter too came. But it was difficult for him to handle both the babies my single hand, so I offered him my help.
"Can I-" I was willing to speak the whole sentence, but as soon as our gaze met, words died in my throat.
He permitted and I took his son. The baby is quite cute. And got silent immediately after being in my arms. He was basically playing with my saree. And then he stood on my lap. I held him securely.
It was the first time I'm holding his baby and it gave me a kind of feeling that-
A feeling that I have to protect him from all odds. I felt protective. Plus, there was an unknown emotion too, like- I wanted him to keep close to me. Close to my heart. Hugging me.
No doubt, I love kids. But this was something different. My hold became tighter on him, taking care of the fact that I'm not hurting him. He then started licking my left cheek, that made me feel giggly ! I want to pamper him with all the kisses, but currently I can't. But still, I gave a light kiss on his head, and he gave me some of his baby words.
Then he rushed to his dad's arms when we were vowing. We went on a round to seek blessings from our elders.
But my mom held me in a hug, along with my dad. And I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. What should I even feel ? I tried realising the fact that it's for my own good. They always want the best for me. But my heart wasn't ready to accept that fact.
"Please. Don't" I said and stood aback and looked at him. What if he felt that I ain't a good daughter ? Nodding to me, we carried the blessing ceremony.
My bags were shifted and we've been seated. My parents looked at me with teary eyes. My heart-
My heart wasn't ready to do this. Vaani, bid them goodbye with a good note. Okay ? My brain offered me. "One minute, please ?" I uttered and excused myself to step out of the car. I went to them and stood before them. I wiped their tears with my fingers and shook my head, telling them not to cry.
My dad took me in a good hug and kept his hand on my head, blessing me.
"Sada suhagan raho beta" he said.
I nodded and took their blessings again. It felt like I'm going to give an exam ! Cause, before every exam I used to take their blessings. But the only difference is, this is a life exam. Without pen and paper.
I bid them bye and sat in the car.
"Mai mami ke paas baithunga !" Vihaan shouted in joy.
[I'll sit with Aunty]
"Betu, piche jagah nahi hai na" Aarush's dad explained and held him to stay on his lap. They were sitting on the passenger's seat.
[Son, there's no space for you in the backseat]
The little boy was silent for a moment as if his excitement died. "I'll sit on her laps" he came up with another way to which I smiled internally.
"But beta-" Di tried to deny him but I intruppted.
"Let him come. Come here Vihaan"
"Yay ! Mami is the best !" He jumped from Uncle's laps to the backseat and then on me.
He sat leaning against me. His small figure fitted perfectly in my torso. And like a good baby, he didn't make any nuisance.
"Da-da-da" it was Pihu asking for her dad as he was out of her sight. Aarush was driving.
"Pa-pa" it was Priyansh then he looked at me. And raised his hands towards me.
I tried to take him but Aarush's mom said "beta, let him be with me, you already have Vihu na"
"Nahi, hum dono bhai sath sath" Vihaan said denying his grandmother.
[No, we brothers will be together]
"Not an issue, I'll take him" I said and securely made space for Priyansh and took him. I think he's a silent baby who doesn't cry much or so. He completely hugged me and looked out of the window.
Soon we reached, and I have no idea how to step out with two kids on my lap.
I heard the car doors open indicating me that they're stepping out. My side of the door opened and I looked up to see. It was Aarush. He took Vihaan and held him on his shoulders as he was sleeping. I had Priyansh with me.
We reached his flat and we were made to wait. Aunty did our Aarti and made me kick the Kalash. A pot full of raw rice with a swastik sign on it. Then I was made to step in Alta, and walked in the house. It signifies the goddess of wealth and prosperity.
We were made to sit on the sofa as we were tired. Aarush didn't stay, he went to his room. I felt a bit awkward with his family, as I didn't know them.
Pihu was with him. And Priyansh cried losing the sight of his dad. "Can I ?" I indicated my fingers towards where he went.
"Sure beta, this is your home now on" Uncle told me. I smiled at him.
I knocked at the door, he rushed maybe hearing his son's cries. Abruptly he took his son from me and I felt a bit weird.
"Wo.. I'm sorry. Please come in" he regretted instantly. I was right, he was too possessive about his children.
"Maybe he's hungry" I advised stepping in his room.
"Huh ?" He looked confused
"Infants should be fed every two to three hours. Or we can say five to six times a day" I assured him.
"How do you know ? Like- all this ?" He asked me grabbing a milk bottle from his side table.
"I've researched. And since, you have to go to the court and so, you must've fed him around 10, I guess. Now it's 2 pm. It's obvious he might be hungry" I smiled at him and looked at Priyansh who was drinking it adorably !
"Thank you" he said to which I just smiled simply.
I glanced at the room and Oh my-
It's beautiful ! Like, Sweet, Simple and Aesthetic ! The walls are white, and there is a mini library next to the balcony's huge sliding door. There were few photographs on each wall, giving it a minimalistic look. His babies, his family, his wife. They looked so happy.
And there were few photographs of a beautiful girl, which I assumed to be Priya. Her looks tell the story of why anyone would fall for her. She's elegant.
One of them was even right after her delivery. Where Priya and Aarush were sitting on her hospital bed having twins in their hands. I literally loved this picture. The warmth of the family was radiant itself. In fact the whole flat seemed aesthetic and luxurious. Most important of all, spacious.
"Where can I place my clothes ?" I asked him while he was looking at his son lovingly.
"Wait, I'll get your bags" he stood up but I gave his steps a halt.
"No no no ! Wait !! Please sit here, I'll get my bags. Priyansh needs you" saying this I rushed outside before him, letting him relax and be with his kid.
My bags were in the living room, and I brought them back and asked him again. He showed me a vacant cupboard. "This is yours and the next one is mine" he mentioned.
"And where are babies' clothes ?" I asked out of curiosity, which I regretted later.
"They are in my almirah" he replied after a pause. Maybe thinking about replying to me or not ? Have I asked the wrong question ?
"Okay"
It took three hours for me to arrange my shelf neatly. I went out as he was sleeping by now with the kids.
"Aunty, what should I make for dinner ?" I asked aunty.
"It's 'Mumma' for you beta" she said and caressed my head lovingly. I could feel how immense love she holds in her heart.
"And no need to cook, okay ? It's my job. Not yours"
Time passed in chit chat with Mumma and Di. They're great. Her son is so cute ! He took me to his room and showed me his toys and everything. And he secretly asked me to bring him chocolates and not to inform anyone. I agreed and promised him the same while giggling.
It was seven in the evening and he went for a walk. The kids were awake and they were playing with Papa. Di had gone to the airport to pick her husband. So I decided to help Mumma in dinner.
Completing the cooking, we cleaned the kitchen and Di was back with her husband. Jiju was quite good by nature.
Soon, dinner time approached and the kids had been fed, they were playing now. We sat across the dining table and I served everyone.
"Um- excuse me" Aarush uttered and my gaze followed him to the kitchen. We heard few sounds of utensils and I decided to check him.
"I'll be back" I said and went to him.
I got in the kitchen and saw him preparing something on the stove.
"What happened ? You didn't like that sabzi ?" I asked. My voice was full of concern.
"No, it's nothing like that" he sushed me and continued chopping onion and tomatoes.
"You can tell me, I'll make that. You don't have to do" I tried talking things from his hand but he was adamant.
"Answer my question" he declared indicating a question was coming my way. Standing straight, looking in my eyes directly. I felt shy under his gaze. Whenever he does this, words die in my throat and refuse me to fake confidence.
"Who cooked dinner ?"
"Me and Mumma. Why ?" I uttered in a low voice with a confusing gaze. Why is he asking this ?
"Nothing, let me work" he resumed chopping.
He wants to separate his part from his family ? Does he want everything separately ? Like dinner and all ? No, it can't be right ? He's a family man.
"I can help-" I said and stirred the spoon in the vessel taking things under my consideration, so he didn't have to work. I could feel his gaze on me.
"I think-"
"You want to separate out ?" I asked him directly.
"What ?"
"Separate everything. Separate lunch, dinner, breakfast ?"
A thick silence fell between us. I regretted asking him. What will he think of me ? That I'm a home wrecker ? Will he think that I'm bad for his kids ?
"Maybe" he said.
I didn't know what to reply. I understand what situation he is in. Same as mine. He was forced. And I was forced too. He has the right to take his time, which his family crushed.
"I understand" I just agreed with him as if to assure him that he's not alone in any of this.
"Will you mind if I ask you something"
"Anything" I answered.
"Can we separate out ? As in, we shall have our separate ways with them. As far as meals are concerned, we'll cook of our own"
So I was right. He was highly disappointed with his family.
"Okay"
We had our separate dinner with all of them sitting on the same dinner table and went to respective rooms. We placed our kids in their respective cribs and I went to his balcony.
"Thank you for today" A voice started me. But I knew it was him.
"For ?" I asked.
"For everything you did today"