After they got home from the doctor's office Eliana went to the kitchen. She had to prepare lunchboxes for kids. Well, technically she didn't have to do it but it was a calming task, she enjoyed cooking.
Rafael showed up in the kitchen out of nowhere. Right behind her, for some reason.
She was angry at him for what happened at Alex's office. Now that the initial phase of shock and fear passed she was just annoyed with Rafael's behaviour. Did he have to torment Eva's boyfriend like that? For what?
"How are you feeling?"
"Fantastic," I said sarcastically. "Did you have to make a scene at Alex's office?" she turned to face him.
"Yes," he said with conviction.
Eliana rolled her eyes, closed the lunchboxes and planned to leave the kitchen when Rafael's hand stopped her. He pulled her closer to himself and whispered into her ear.
"Can I call you Eli?"
"W-what?!" Eliana looked at him shocked. Why would he want to do that? His serious face quickly shifted into amusement "You want to call me what?"
"Eli. That's what dr. Brown no, Alex. He calls you Eli, right? I want to call you that too"
"Why?"
"I like how it sounds"
I blushed "R-Rafael?"
"Yes?"
"What about personal space?"
"What about it?" He asked. He sounded like a person entirely not interested in that concept.
"I think you should take a step back for the sake of it,"
"I really don't want to" he sounded unhappy with her request.
And Eliana discovered that she didn't want him to step away either.
They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity and then he kissed her. She kissed him back against her better judgement.
What the hell was she doing?!
"I hated to see him being so friendly with you. You're mine, only I should be allowed to call you that" he muttered, jealousy dripping from his voice.
"Not yours"
"Definitely mine," he said, and placed another kiss on my lips. Then another one.
Eliana got lost in his touch.
ððð
Eliana woke up in the middle of the night in Rafael's bedroom. Why did she let him bring me here?
Another mistake. Where is her self-control? Around him, it's nonexistent it seems.
What the hell am I doing? Eliana covered her face.
She was stressed and to eat away her stress she decided to go downstairs and see if there are any blueberries in the fridge. It had to be blueberries.
The fridge was full. She could have strawberries, peaches, pears, apples, etc. however among all those fruits there was not a single blueberry for her and she just thought it was unfair, she just thought that the world is unjust and for some reason, she teared up a bit.
It's just blueberries - any reasonable person would say. They would simply be satisfied with something else. But not Eliana. Blueberries were the only thing she was able to think about. She looked at her watch - it was 3 am. She must admit that it was a problem. But if you try hard enough every problem has a solution and this particular one needed an instant solution.
***
She got upstairs and entered the room hoping that Rafael wouldn't notice her sneaking in. She went to the walk-in closet and changed from pyjamas into his joggers and a simple black shirt and green hoodie. Everything looked grotesquely big on her but she didn't care how she looks right now. She wondered about the hoodie. A hoodie in Rafael's wardrobe? He was like an anime character. A formal black/grey suit was everything that he was wearing but at the same time, he was muscular enough for her to know that he had to attend the gym.
Eliana really thought that she was quiet. Soundless, like a panther.
So as she left the closet, she was really disappointed to learn that Rafael is fully awake and decided to use the spare time during which she was rummaging through his clothes to do something on his laptop.
Eliana froze in place like a deer caught in the headlights when he looked at her with his dark eyes.
"Where are you going?"
"Um-"
He raised his eyebrows gently at her incoherent response.
"Shopping. I'm going shopping"
"At 3 am?" he asked, looking at her with an indescribable sort of intensity.
"Grocery shopping" Eliana specified as if it could help her case.
"We have a full fridge" with each of his responses she felt more and more unreasonable.
"We don't have blueberries"
"I will let Alicia know in the morning to restock"
"Or I will go as I planned to the store"
"And you were planning to wake up Giovanni and take him with you, right?" he asked smoothly. Eliana's mouth went dry because she knew she doesn't have a satisfying answer for him. But who was she kidding? He already knew the answers.
She watched as he gets up and with each step he breaks down the distance between them. His chest was naked. She shouldn't have noticed that during such a stressful moment but she did.
"I would be back in 15 minutes," Eliana said weakly.
"I would need less than 5 seconds to grab you from the parking lot and throw you into my car"
"Cmon at least 10 seconds. It wouldn't be that easy"
"Are you haggling with me right now?" he asked, a small traces of amusement started appearing in his voice.
"Maybe?" Eliana said shyly.
He shook his head "How the hell am I supposed to be angry with you when you're so cute?"
"Don't be angry?" Eliana pleaded quietly. They were very close to each other. She moved slowly towards him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was quick, gentle. He cupped her face and used his thumbs to stroke each of her cheeks. Then, he kissed her back. Longer, deeper.
Eliana broke the kiss, she was breathing heavily when she said:
"Rafael?"
"Yes?"
"I still want blueberries," she said with no small determination. Way to ruin the moment.
He rolled his eyes and pulled away.
"Wait where are you going?"
"To get you those damn blueberries"
He himself is going to get my blueberries? Normally Rafael would wake someone up to do such a tedious task. That's weird.
***
15 minutes later Eliana was sitting in the kitchen eating a mountain of blueberries.
Rafael didn't come back to sleep. Instead, he was watching her as she eat with fascination. As if she was a wild, rare animal in a ZOO. She needed to find him some hobby.
"Go to bed. It's late," Eliana ordered feeling a little guilty that she woke him up and forced him to go to the store at night. He was such a workaholic. Every hour of sleep counted in his case.
"You go to sleep," he retorted, he was sitting in front of her in close proximity and Eliana wouldn't dare to argue with him.
Uh, better change the subject.
"Why do you keep a sweatshirt like this in your wardrobe? It's not your style" Eliana was referring to a dark green hoodie she was wearing right now.
Rafael gave her a long look as if he wondered if she was worthy of receiving such information.
"When my little sister had a bad dream, she would steal this hoodie from my bedroom, I was pissed off about it back then. Now that I think about it I can't understand what annoyed me so much, it feels so stupid and meaningless" he said. There was something in his voice, emotion. "After she died I found it hidden under her bed. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. I had time to think about it, a lot of time, and I think she was taking it from me because she was lonely and now I am lonely every time I look at it"
How could she help him? How could she ease Rafael's pain?
"Don't look at me like that"
"Like what?"
"Like you want to say some bullshit about healing and dealing with grief"
"I won't" she promised.
"Thank you," he said quietly. Sometimes there's just nothing to say.
ððð
Eliana was awakened by a hand stroking her cheek. Rafael sometimes treated her like a delicate porcelain figurine. Eliana looked at his beautiful brown eyes, she didn't want him to release her from his embrace. Never.
Eliana's temporary happiness was overshadowed by guilt and confusion. He will either be mad at her for deciding to terminate her pregnancy or mad that she got pregnant in the first place. What if he learns after she has an abortion? How will he react? With each day closer to the scheduled procedure Eliana was tormented with more fear and uncertainty.
She was trying to figure out in which reality they end up as a happy family. It seemed surreal. He was having fun with her, she was something to entertain him for a while. What if he breaks the contract if he finds out about the pregnancy?
Their relationship... It was never meant to be forever.
It wasn't real. She was living in a house of cards, one wrong move and everything is going to fall apart. After several weeks Rafael will just toss her away and she will have to build another life from nothing. Maybe she will be alive to do so, and maybe she will have the money from her parents but she felt like she can't do it on her own.
Why would men like him love someone like her? He was intelligent, handsome, confident and she was... she was Eli.
"Eli?"
"Y-yes?" she asked startled by the way he pronounced my name. With such tenderness, she didn't understand this.
"You seem sad. Are you okay? Maybe you're still feeling unwell?"
One hand rose to her cheek and his palm ran lightly over her skin.
"No, I'm totally fine" Eliana shook her head, she was in denial. She didn't want him to worry. She pushed negative thoughts away.
"How was your sleep?" He asked.
"Great," she forced herself to smile. She wanted to celebrate her time spend with him because she had no idea how long it would last. It could be over tomorrow, so she had to enjoy today.
She even dared to kiss him on the lips. It was her thanks for him acting all sweet right now, and a face that usually expressed nothing was now smiling gently.
"How about you? After all, the blueberry adventure robbed you of a few precious hours of rest"
"I'm perfectly fine. Besides I'm my own boss who's going to force me to go to work if I don't feel like it?" He smirked.
"Fair"
"Are you excited for your first day of work?"
"Mostly nervous"
"Don't be. You're going to do great. Or don't go, you don't have to work" Rafael said in a calm manner.
"Rafael, of course, I have to work" Eliana stressed.
"Agree to disagree," he said casually "By the way. I'm taking you to dinner on Tuesday, I hope you have time at 8 pm and unfortunately, it's work-related"
"Oh?"
"My former business partner and his spouse invited us. I thought it would be impolite to reject their invitation"
"Why are we seeing them?"
"Officially it's just a dinner between good colleagues. But the truth is a man who invited us suffers from financial problems. His company will soon collapse and he wants me to invest in, that could potentially save him from bankruptcy"
"Are you going to help him?" Eliana asked curiously.
"It depends"
"On what?"
"Whether I feel like it"
Eliana looked at him in disbelief. So that man's fate depended on Rafael's mood?
Poor thing.