Chapter 19: Secrets and Seduction: Chapter 18

With a towel around my waist, I walked into the bedroom when my tablet vibrated on the nightstand. I knew only one person who would text me at this hour.

The moon was almost at its zenith, and I clenched my jaw at the thought of what she must have been doing tonight. She had probably just texted me to rub it in.

Avery had already made my anger boil enough for today. The first time when I had been so hard because of her messages that it almost hurt, and the second time when she had made me beg her not to fuck a guy who wasn’t me.

The thoughts, the fantasies I had about her were wrong for dozens of reasons, reasons that went beyond the academic.

Still, I couldn’t help but imagine what my dick would feel like in her mouth, and I cursed myself for already being rock hard just from those images.

My tablet vibrated again, and I groaned in annoyance. This girl…

I frowned. Why didn’t the guy she had left with bring her back? Either the evening didn’t go well, and the guy dumped her, for which I could rip his throat out, or something had happened.

I hoped it was the first option so I could take my rage out on someone.

Another message popped up on my tablet with a map and her location. City center. Could he at least have taken her out somewhere nice?

I, for one, would have flown her out to Paris or Milan, shown her the entire world, if she only wasn’t a fucking student and didn’t have to do her time in our institute. And if her safety wasn’t compromised in my mere presence.

Silently, I closed the door behind me and took a shortcut to the parking lots of the faculty. It was silent around me, only the owls’ singing a constant companion of my steps.

My car came into view, almost invisible thanks to the color and tinted windows. I started the engine, just hoping that no one would come and check what’s going on. The late hour urged me to hurry as I texted Avery that I was leaving now. Another message went out to Leilah.

I rolled my eyes and slipped the tablet back into my pocket. If we were lucky, no one would notice her absence. If we were unlucky, I would take the fall for it, lie and say I kidnapped her or some bullshit.

Avery I stared impatiently at my watch, my tablet’s battery almost dead. I hadn’t failed to notice how grimly the last of the drunken guests looked at me, and I almost went up to one and banged his head against the damn bar.

The alcohol in my system had already faded, and I blamed it on the sudden adrenaline rush that had jolted me awake.

The cute waitress came to my table and cleared the empty glasses.

“We’re closing in ten minutes, sweetie.” I pressed my lips together. It was obvious they were going to kick me out soon. “How much do I owe you?” I asked as I reached for my wallet.

“Oh, your friend already paid for everything.” I narrowed my eyes.

After Noah left, I had another drink to kill the time. “He had the rest written on his list, don’t worry,” she added when she saw my puzzled expression.

Alright. I gave her one last smile before rising and putting on my jacket. My ass ached from sitting so long on the hard wooden bench, and I winced at the sudden pain in my lower back.

My muffled footsteps echoed in the pub as I made my way back. None of the old men uttered a stupid line, and I was grateful for the missed confrontation. Today was a bad day to get on my nerves.

The midnight air greeted me in an icy embrace, drawing goosebumps across my body. Shit, it smelled like rain. Just what I needed right now.

The streets were barely lit, gaunt branches in the distance reminding me of claws from the monsters we’d faced in our nightmares. I looked at the clock on the tablet display again and slumped my shoulders. There was no way I would arrive on time.

I curled my hands into fists in my pockets and set off, always following the road from which we had come. The wind whipped my hair into my face and the draft made the woods sing. With my jaw clenched, I had to admit that the place scared me, but I kept walking, wanting to save time by walking in Mr. Prestons direction. I knew it was a shitty idea, but I could contribute at least this small part.

A few minutes passed in which I hummed to myself to block out the agonizing cold, but it didn’t help. It had already wormed its way into my marrow, taken possession of my body.

Strange and yet so real images appeared before my mind’s eye. After a concert, I must have been thirty, I was walking along lonely alleys, a handsome young man at my side. I didn’t see his face, but his voice felt familiar—it sounded like home, like eternity.

A car came towards me, and I hoped it was my professor. The two lights illuminated my body, but the driver did not stop, did not ask if I was alright. Maybe it was better that way. I let out an annoyed sigh and kept walking.

Barely a few minutes later, thunder sounded, making me tremble. No, please don’t. Before I had finished the thought, the first raindrops were already pelting me. It would be a miracle if I didn’t catch pneumonia.

Mr. Preston will be here soon, I kept telling myself, fighting the rain that soaked me down to my socks. Fucking Noah owed me, that was for sure.

Alexander I raced along the road, barely able to get a proper look because of the heavy rain. Damn, she had to be freezing.

With that thought, I hit the gas harder, letting my worry drive me. The city center was only a few minutes away, but it felt like hours, days.

And there… On the side of the road, almost swallowed by the shadows of the surrounding trees, she walked, arms wrapped around herself, eyes glued to the ground. She didn’t look up when I came closer, trembling all over. Oh, holy soul…

With my hands clawed to the steering wheel, I took a sharp U-turn and came to a stop next to her. Avery took a few steps back, surely thinking I would do something bad to her. I rolled down the window.

“Step in already, or do you need a written invitation?” Water streamed down her face and her jeans stuck to her thighs like a perfectly fitting glove, made just for her.

The little monster opened the door, almost slipped, but managed to hold on at just the right moment.

“You came,” she replied tightly. Of course I had come; what a stupid comment.

She slammed the door shut, and I wasted no time racing back to the academy.

“What were you doing out here by yourself? You could have just waited for me there.” I couldn’t help the snarky undertone.

“T-the pub was closing soon, and I wanted to save time by m-meeting you halfway.” I rolled my eyes.

As if that bit of saved time had mattered much. She hadn’t gotten very far.

Her teeth were chattering, and I reached into the back seat for a thin blanket I always kept in the car. It wouldn’t keep her warm, but it could suck some of the water off.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, wrapping herself in the piece of fabric. We spent some time in silence, her mind probably all over the place.

I turned the seat heater up and watched her gradually relax. Her scent, so alluring and unmistakable, claimed the air.

God, how I had missed that scent. Avery’s scent was my muse, my downfall and my salvation. I could have spent decades lying next to her and smelling her hair.

To fill the silence, I turned up the radio, choosing a radio station with classical music. A song, old and tragic, played and her eyes lingered on me.

“That’s one of my favorites,” she said, barely audible.

“I know.”

Avery Mr. Preston seemed particularly pissed off today, and I didn’t know what I must have done to draw his wrath on me again. Yes, I had probably gotten him out of bed, but he could have said no.

I stared nervously at the dashboard, the speed indicator going higher and higher. My heart was pounding, my chest tightening.

This fear was irrational, and I knew I was projecting my trauma onto this situation, but I couldn’t do anything about my dark thoughts. At every turn, I winced until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Slow down,” I yelled. I shut my eyes, not wanting to raise my voice. “Please.”

Without another word, he took his foot off the gas until we came to a speed that didn’t drive me mad.

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” His voice seemed softer; gone was the bitterness in it. Mr. Preston didn’t try to make conversation, let the music do the talking. But I wanted to explain myself.

“There was an emergency at Noah’s house, and he had to leave. I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble.”

“Stop apologizing. There’s no need for that.” I cleared my throat.

“Did you have a nice evening?” What the hell, Avery? Why did you ask that?

“I bet you had a better one,” he returned curtly.

Yeah, I had theorized if you could be a murderer, that was pretty fun.

“Are you going to be at the Halloween party too?” I finally asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“No, certainly not.”

I imagined what he would look like in a costume. Probably just as good as he did now, with his curly black hair and his leather jacket that was a little too tight around his biceps.

“I’m going. I bet you’d have fun there. Ms. Arden could keep you company.” That sounded way too weird coming out of my mouth. I’d better shut up.

“You’re thinking about me and Ms. Arden?” His eyes landed on me as he raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I heard you two were…engaged, and I doubt you broke up on bad terms.” At least their conversation had sounded friendly back in the office. Maybe even more than that?

He exhaled in annoyance.

“Cut the bullshit, Avery. I don’t love her, if that’s what you’re hinting at. And no, she doesn’t love me either. Can we drop this subject now?”

I brushed a few wet strands out of my face and nodded. Good plan.

“Just wanted to make conversation. Do you like being a professor?” Because he didn’t really act like it.

“No. I’m just here because of my parents.” That explained a lot. “They’re very difficult, take more than they give, and yet I can’t say no.”

“Why not?” Mr. Preston didn’t look like the type of man who would put up with anything.

“I just can’t,” he returned curtly.

“If you don’t like being a professor, then you certainly don’t like students, do you?”

Gosh, that sounded really wrong. I actually meant to know if he hated students and therefore might have had a motive. Instead, it sounded like I wanted to know if he was interested in me. Damn, Avery shut the fuck up.

“I don’t like the students either.” A crooked smile spread across his face, and I almost slapped myself for the sudden stab in the heart I felt at his words. “But some I dislike less.”

“Yeah, some professors I dislike less too,” I said, looking out the window so he wouldn’t see my smile.

“Why did you set the house on fire, Avery?” he asked out of nowhere. My head shot to the side, surprised at the sudden change of subject.

“Does it make any difference if I tell you?” The air felt much heavier than usual.

“No,” he finally admitted. “But I’d still like to know.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled, debating what I could and couldn’t tell him. If he told anyone, my year here would be for nothing.

“Do you swear it will stay between us?” My tone was dead serious, the cheerfulness in it gone.

“On my soul.” A strange way to swear, but from his mouth it sounded more sincere than all the oaths put together. Alright…

“You must have read my testimony.” He nodded. “It wasn’t the whole truth. Yes, I had enjoyed burning that house down. I really did. But not because I’m a monster. I did it for Mia, my neighbor’s little daughter. Her mother was Satan incarnate and had done horrible things to her. I was her only friend, so she confided to me what was happening under the condition not to tell anybody. She was traumatized, afraid, and I saw no way out. My anonymous reports to the police had done nothing. No, they had made everything worse. Mia has no other relatives who could take care of her. I just wanted it to make it stop, you know?”

“So you burned the house down so they could move somewhere else? Further away from you?” I shook my head.

“No. I wanted to hurt her mother badly, so she couldn’t take care of Mia for a long time. Watching her suffer was a bonus. The satisfaction I got will feed my spirit for a lifetime. Anyway, a foster family would take better care of her. God, anyone would take better care of her than that demon.”

“And what happens after that?” He sounded skeptical, nothing conveying what was going on inside of him as he took in my words.

“I want my father to adopt her. For that, I have to tell him the whole story, which is hard over the phone. Now it’s not the time. Not until I know Mia is safe, far away from her mother.” I shifted in my seat. “And if he doesn’t want to, and I’m out of here, I’ll go to work, earn my money somehow. Then I’ll do it in his place.”

I thought about how anxiously she had knocked on our door while my father was at work. She was getting almost nothing to eat, her body covered in bruises. Sometimes I would sneak out and put candy on her windowsill.

My actions, however, did little to ease her suffering. I could still remember when we sat on my porch, and I braided her hair. That late spring, she had told me for the first time what was being done to her.

A shiver went through me as I imagined her eyes as she begged me to keep it to myself. At that moment, I realized what I had to do.

“So you sacrificed your future for the small chance that she would be better off somewhere else?”

“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “And I would do it all over again.” Mr. Preston nodded, lost in thought.

“Of course you would,” he said more to himself, and I couldn’t make sense of his words. “You have a good heart.”

“I’m sure yours is the same. You just don’t show it.”

Perhaps I had gone too far with that statement. I didn’t know him, but something, maybe a gut feeling, told me we were more alike than I had thought.

“If people saw it, they’d count on it.” I snorted.

“So you don’t want people counting on you?”

“No,” he replied quietly. “Someone counted on me once. And I let that person down.”

Was he talking about a woman, about a past lover? I knew jealousy was inappropriate, but I couldn’t help feeling it. “Every few years we run into each other by chance, but it’s not like before.” For the first time since my confession, he turned his gaze back on me, the blue in his eyes darker, wilder, like a stormy ocean. So much sorrow lay in them, and yet they also bore longing and hope. ‘We’re here.’

The gates to the academy opened, a fateful invitation.