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Chapter 34
ââ¦At first, I thought you were gone. It looks like the words were a bit twisted in the middle.â
âReaâ¦lly?â
âFour years without the wife was long enough to make me feel sick and tired. The year we spent together seems to have passed quickly⦠Strangely, four years seemed like a billion eons. And, those hours when I thought you were goneâ¦â
He took a deep breath as if he didnât even want to think about it.
âAre you worried about me?â
âRight.â
Although it was not necessarily an answer, Rosalind could feel his heart from the attitude and earnestness he showed today.
But, she was strangely offended that he had worried about her. There were so many times when she wanted Kyle to worry and regret like this, but he was always cold-hearted as if he betrayed her expectations⦠So, why was he now?
Recalling the past days with him, she replied back.
âItâs very strange. Why are you worried about me now? You donât have to worry about me. I am living happily now more than anyone, more than ever.â
ââ¦Is it because of him that he is happy now?â
At Kyleâs words, Rosalind uttered, âUmm,â and dragged her words. It was thanks to Leo that she was happy, though she did not want to correct that misunderstanding.
âYes.â
Her answer made his expression wrinkled. A person who did not show much emotional sway, strangely exposed his emotions to the extent that it would be clear that Albert was involved in his thoughts.
âDo you know who he was?â
Such an irresponsible human, he spat it out and turned his head. Kyle looked like he was suppressing his insides.
âOf course.â
âIt was just one night.â
âOne night is enough.â
Rosalind responded without hesitation, as if she was acknowledging it.
âHe was a noble with nothing to see. A man who disappeared and left behind a woman with his own child.â
âDid you do any research?â
âHow can you have such an irresponsible person as a childâs father?â
Although the voice asking if he had done an investigation was very sharp, Kyle didnât care. In fact, whenever he talked about irresponsibility in this way, it was ridiculous. How can a person who has left the family and played with other women be able to discuss responsibilityâ¦?
âI donât know why you even need a background check.â
ââ¦Compared to that, as you know, I have an abundance of wealth, not only a position but also a strong family and above allââ
âWhat are you talking about?â
Hearing him, she felt something strange and cut off his words.
Unlike Rosalind, who was flustered by the absurd words, Kyleâs face was relatively calm. He was serious as though trying to persuade her.
âIt means that those are no conditions to raise a child. Wouldnât this be better than an irresponsible and incompetent father⦠as Leoâs father?â
It was only then that she realized that he was appealing his condition.
It was so ridiculous. She thought he would graciously step back if she had anyone else, though he was more tenacious than expected. In addition, the talk was bouncing in a strange direction. She couldnât understand why he was so blindly obsessed with her, thinking of raising another manâs child.
âBecause I was thinking of having a child, anyway.â
âAre you like thatâ¦? I didnât know you were yielding to me to the extent that you thought of raising someone elseâs child. It would be better if I stop eating now.â
Wanting to avoid him, Rosalind got up from her seat.
It was polite and neat. Although Kyleâs gaze seemed to be piercing and clear, she turned away and turned her back.
Just as she was about to get out, she could hear that characteristic low voice.
ââ¦Is he really that manâs child?â
âTherefore?â
âDoes not matter.â
His eyes were serious when she turned to look at the answer she had heard. To the extent that she felt the illusion that time has stopped.
ââ¦Yes. Who is the father doesnât matter. Leo is my child. Iâll go and take Leo. Thank you very much. And, in the future, you donât have to work hard for me or do anything. Even if you say you need me, no matter how much you worry about me⦠I will never go back to the Duke again.â
The atmosphere was so gritty, Rosalind moved her steps swiftly as if she was trying to avoid him, then behind her came louder and faster footsteps.
As she moved forward with her stride, she heard a voice grabbing her again.
A voice coming from far away from before seemed to signal that he was near. Kyle was so close that he could reach her with his hand, and he whispered her name in a small voice without holding her.
Rosalindâ¦
ââ¦Donât go.â
At the sound of his mournful voice, she stopped her breath.
ââ¦Even if itâs just a meal, if youâre uncomfortable, you donât have to eat. Itâs okay for just a moment, so letâs talk.â
She stood there as if her feet were tied, not answering, but in the end, she bowed her head neatly. After an overly polite greeting, as if drawing a line from her, Rosalind went out.
As she disappeared, he stood there frozen.
HaâKyle took a deep breath as he put his palm on his forehead as if frustrated.
He was good at dealing with people, and he thought it was easy to deal with other women, so he didnât know why he kept getting this every time he treated Rosalind.
âThat meant donât do anything, donât you know?â
Suddenly, the words he had said to Rosalind before, passed by.
âYou donât have to work hard for me or do anything.â
Why did it feel like he was getting back the words he said?
Even after drenching his throat with the water on the table, his thirst was not quenched. He felt compelled to do something to overshadow her words to not to try to do anything.
Today, Rosalind sarcastically described Leo as âto the point of raising someone elseâs child,â but that was why he held on to Rosalind so much. Kyle couldnât imagine how she would be raising a child of another man she wasnât familiar with.
No, he could easily imagine it, and it made him suffer even moreâ¦
As she did for him, she embroidered with scarce skills, she talked about pretty flowers, and whispered to him that she wished he was always happyâ¦
When he thought today he might lose Rosalind, he thought he was going crazy. Although it was brief, he felt so helpless. No matter what he did, he had to hold her by his side. He needed her so much that the moment Rosalind turned her back on him, his desire to lock the door and lock her in the room surged.
The fact that she could not send a child to an irresponsible man who was not as good as him was only a superficial justification.
Of course, he couldnât say that he didnât have such a reason, though his own selfishness was the main reason why he held on to Rosalind so much.
He hadnât seen Rosalind in four years.
He felt like he was going to get sick again when he thought of how she was living with another man.
And, on the one hand, he thought it would be all right for Leo to be his own child. The reason why he kept doubting that Leo might be his child was because it was his wishâ¦
He even thought that Leo looked like him. He seemed to have some pretty similar appearance, so he asked a few times âdo we look alike.â And, even though the servant said they looked alike, it seemed too self-conscious.
In fact, the reason Kyle couldnât decide anything easily was because he had already lost his objectivity towards Rosalind. The reason he doubted but couldnât give her any certainty was because he knew that his reasoning would be paralyzed.
He couldnât trust himself when it came to Rosalind. As for Leo, of course.
ââ¦Mister, how about mother?â
The Leo he saw today was an innocent and bright child.
He was messy because of the rain, though as far as the eyes looking at him were, they were bright green like summer after the rainy season. Kyle never desperately wanted to have a child, but seeing the innocent look, he thought the child was cute at first glanceâ¦
The wavy blonde hair, the white face, the reddish cheeks and the fingertips somehow resembled Rosalind.
âSheâll be here soon. Will you stay with me while waiting for mom?â
When Leo opened his eyes in a round shape, it made him even more overlapping with Rosalind. Though she didnât have very large eyes nor was it as cheerful, she would often widen her eyes like a cornered rabbit. When she had tears in her eyes, he used to get strangely annoyed.
âMom told me never to do what a bad person told me to do.â
Perhaps, it was because he found Rosalind in that face, his heart kept tumbling over and over again.
Kyle reached over to Leo and brushed his rain-drenched hair.
âIâm not a bad person.â
âMom said this, a bad person doesnât say they are a bad person with their mouth.â
His smile leaked out a little as he thought of Rosalind, who had given a warning over and over again. For some reason, Kyleâs imagination went away and he thought of her, and he missed her again.
ââ¦What should I do with the meal that hasnât been eaten yet? Shall I clean it up?â
After a moment of contemplation, he was suddenly awakened by the maidâs voice.
âI have no appetite. Please, clean up all the meals.â
And, he belatedly started moving to where Rosalind had left.
All that was in his mind was the idea of ââcatching her before she went back to her houseâ¦
Kyle stopped in front of the door to the room where Leo had slept. There were a lot of words floating around, and he was still at a loss as to what to say.
As he reached out to knock on the door, he suddenly stopped her movement at the sound of a leak through the open door.
âDo you know how worried mom was?â
âThere are a lot of trees in this castle. A looott.â
The childâs voice whispered outside the door.
âThere are only trees in the garden. There are more trees than flowers.â
âYou made mom suffer so much⦠Still, nothing happened, so itâs fine. Letâs go home now.â
âDonât you remember? Mom said it before⦠Dad is like a green leaf.â
At that, Rosalindâs voice stopped.
âLike a tree with summer leavesâ¦â
âOh, thatâs right, there are so many things Iâve never seen before here! Canât I take a look around with mom next time?â
The childâs innocent voice stopped reaching his ear.
The moment he realized the meaning of the tree with leaves in summer, Kyleâs hand that was trying to pull the doorknob stopped.
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