Ch 92 -- No More Than 3 Silver Coins Each
"Iâve gotta make an offering to the Goddesses soon or theyâre gonna start bothering me again." I suddenly realised. It was evening, Iâd finished eating, Fer was resting in the innâs beast stables and Sui was sleeping peacefully in her bag, dreaming away. Better get it over with. Iâd just opened Net Super to start selecting items for the offering when a Voice sounded in my head.
"Hoy, other-world-guy-kun, can you hear me? Send us offerings and be quick about it." That didnât sound like Deplorable-sama--
"Is this Agni-sama speaking to me?"
"Yup." She sounded impatient but maybe thatâs how she always sounded.
"I am just about to get you all some offerings," I explained. "Please wait a moment."
"Right then, and send me two cans of beer like you were drinking earlier."
"Hold on, am I supposed to send you alcohol? I thought I was told alcohol was a no-no last time I made an offering..."
"This is Ninril." Ah, deplorable goddess-sama, right on cue. "This one time itâs all right, as a special case. But only two cans, mind."
A special case? I suppose if itâs like that then it should be fine but--.
"Oh, and while youâre about it, well, you remember that it was me, Ninril, who was the Goddess who first gave you her blessing so, well, because of that I want you to increase the amount of sweets you send us. Dorayaki especially, no limit on those, you know. Oh, but keep this confidential and donât let the others know I told you to do it."
Ninril-sama, what are you asking for this time, and why are you being so sneaky about it? Everyone should get a fair share, that was what you all agreed last time--
"Me, me. Earth Goddess Kishar here. Hey, other-world-guy-kun, it was pretty interesting seeing the stuff youâre selling down there. That soap, shampoo and conditioner and wow! those hair wraps too. I want you to send some of that to me as well~. Pleeeease." the new voice hesitated for a moment. "Oh, and donât tell the other Goddesses about this."
...Kishar-sama, you too? Iâm disappointed in you. I thought that Ninril-sama was the only deplorable Goddess...
"...itâs me, Rusalka. Food looks delicious. I also want to eat food. Give me food. This is a secret."
Ruka-sama... Are all the Goddesses of this world the same? Are they all deplorable-samas? Theyâre telling me to send them things and to keep it a secret from the others but--
"Ahem-. Goddess-samas, I hate to break it to you but youâre all demanding special items and wanting me to keep it secret from the others. You do realise that Iâll be sending the offerings all in one go and youâll all see everything I sent when it arrives?"
There was a long pause.
"Ha-, you got a point".
"Oops, thatâs true."
"...Eheheh..."
"Hey you lot, what were you trying to pull?" Agni-sama sounded mad.
"No, no, Agni, itâs just..."
"Oh, ummm, you see, itâs like, you know, ahhh..."
"............"
"You mean that you all requested other things you wanted?" Agni-sama sounded like she was about to blow her top. The Goddess of Fire, did that include volcanoes in her job description? "You sneaky--. Right then, If itâs like that then I get what I want too."
"Does that mean alcohol? Iâve told you before why thatâs a bad idea."
"Thatâs right, absolutely no alcohol, we agreed you know."
"...Booze, no good"
"Humph. They asked for what they wanted, why am I in the wrong for doing the same?" I distinctly heard the sound of knuckles cracking. "Right then, other-world-guy-kun, I want alcohol. Beer, premium beer, two cans and right away."
"I still say itâs a bad idea."
"Thatâs right, you know."
"...Not good"
The voices of the selfish Goddess-samas resounded in my aching head. I figured I had to step in or theyâd go on arguing like this for eternity with me stuck in the middle listening to them bicker. I shuddered, no way. I tuned them out temporarily while I came up with a plan. Snacks up to three hundred yen? Yeah, that might work, after all theyâre acting like elementary schoolkids on a class outing...
"Hey hey, everyone quiet down." I interrupted. "Last time I made an offering, you all shared what I sent you, right? "
"No, thatâs..."
"But, I want something to make me more beautiful, not just sweets..."
"Sweets are good, but food..."
"Beer and snacks are better than confectionery..."
Huh, everyone wants what they want and they donât want to share. Elementary schoolkids? Nope, kindergardeners. I sighed.
"Okay, I understand. Each of you now wants me to offer you different things, right?" Silence, which I took to be agreement. "Itâs impossible for me to offer up infinite amounts of anything, yes?" Silence again. "So if you tell me what you want and it only costs up to three silver coins each then I will offer it to you."
The Goddesses would argue forever, literally if I didnât lay down some rules about the offerings. Setting a budget and spending the same amount for each of them was one way to make it seem fair.
"Three silver coins, thatâs too little you know. I tell you it should be more than that."
"Oh, only three silver coins, not enough..."
"I want a little bit more..."
"...(nods vigorously)"
"Nope, three silver coins worth of weekly offerings each, I think thatâs enough." I had to be firm. They seemed to be willing to accept the idea of a budget which was something to be thankful for but I was making a big concession, agreeing to spend as much as three silver coins each on their offerings as it was. Time to finish it.
"If you donât like that idea then Iâll return your blessings and we can call it quits..." I bluffed.
"Wait, wait, waitwaitwait. You can give us offerings worth three silver coins. Three silver coins are enough, please!"
"Well, okay. Three silver coins are enough. We can accept that."
"Oh, ah. Thumbs up, three silver coins of offerings a week are enough."
"...Good with only 3 silver coins."
They all agreed quickly and I breathed a (silent) sigh of relief. For some reason the omnipotent Goddesses who could read my thoughts and see my every action had fallen for my bluff. Could I actually return the blessings after theyâd been bestowed anyway?
"Right then, Iâll take your requests, each in turn please. If you all ask at once I wonât know who wants what."
"Well, I gave you my blessing before the others did, and Iâm also the oldest Goddess here so me first." Ninril-sama, are you really the Goddess-sempai? Surely not...
"I desire sweets. Dorayaki, as much as possible." Well, thatâs simple, just like Ninril-sama. Uh, not simple, ummm consistent. If she keeps eating such sweet things sheâll soon be overweight but thatâs her choice. I bought ten pieces of dorayaki from the Net Super along with assorted cakes, pudding and chocolate and then I added a sweet cola drink to the shopping cart so that the order came to 3 silver coins in total. One down.
"Who is next?" I asked.
"If you go by age, itâs me, Kishar. What I want is the soap, shampoo, conditioner and hair masks you recently started selling."
"Oh, thatâs no problem but there are various kinds of shampoo and conditioner depending on your hair type and its condition. You understand?"
"Huh? Are there truly so many kinds?" Kishar-sama seemed amazed.
"Yes, there are dozens of different treatments to deal with all sorts of hair problems. If you donât mind, can you tell me about the current state of your hair and I can perhaps choose whatâs most suitable for you, Kishar-sama."
"Really? Well, right now my hair is very dry and frizzy. Itâs a pain making it presentable every morning."
It sounded like her hair was lacking moisture and with split ends. What she needed to deal with that was a non-silicone oil shampoo, a moisturising conditioner to match and a premium hair wrap treatment which cost nine copper coins each. I added in three pieces of rose-scented soap for the remaining 3 copper coins and that was 3 silvers exactly. Two down.
"Right, whoâs next?"
"Oh, thatâs me, Agni here. I would like all sorts of booze but Iâve agreed to limit myself to two cans of premium beer, oh and some snacks to go with them. The rest of the offering, make it sweets."
Agni-sama wants premium beer, snacks and sweets. The packaged nibbles I could get from the Net Super to go with beer, things like dried fish werenât very appetizing but... yep, I still had a good quantity of hot potato fries that I made earlier in my Item Box. Theyâd go nicely with a premium beer. How much would they cost though? Hmmm, as a prepared dish I priced the fries at two copper coins each. Another copper coin would buy a fried mincemeat cake... ah, the dish wouldnât come back from the offering, can I get paper plates? I placed my order in the Net Super and finally I had two cans of premium beer, a paper plate of potato fries and three fried mincemeat cakes on another paper plate. I made up the rest of the offering with cakes and pastries like I bought for Ninril-sama. That should be OK. Three down.
"Next is me. Sweets and food."n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
The last Goddess was Ruka-sama, who wanted sweets and food. I assumed she wanted to eat the sort of things she had seen Fer, Sui and me eating. So, fried cutlets and fried mincemeat cakes and, quick check, yes I still had Cheese In chicken katsu and Cheese In hamburger in my Item Box ready to go. I bought 3 onigiri and 6 bread rolls from the Net Super to go with them, each costing one copper coin. The Cheese In chicken katsu was a bit big, so I priced it at 2 coppers each and the hamburger just one copper each. Everything laid out on paper plates came to one silver and 5 copper coins. The rest would buy sweets, cakes, pastries etc. like Ninril-sama and Agni-samaâs offerings.
I prepared four separate cardboard-box altars and put the offerings for each Goddess on them.
"Right then, Iâll get started. First of all is Ninril-samaâs preferred sweets. Please accept my offering." It wasnât very prayer-like but deplorable-goddess-samaâs offering disappeared promptly anyway. I faced the next cardboard-box altar.
"My offering to Kishar-sama, your desired soap and the shampoo treatment I recommended. This is more luxurious than the shampoo and conditioner I sold to Lambert-san so please give it a try." Kishar-samaâs offerings disappeared in a similar manner to Ninril-samaâs. I turned to the third altar and bowed my head.
"Agni-sama, I offer to you beer and snacks and sweets. The snacks are food I made myself. I think they go well with beer and I hope you enjoy them. Please eat them with my best wishes." Agni-samaâs offering vanished.
"Finally, I make my offering of food and sweets to Ruka-sama." I bowed to the last altar. "I also made some of this food, the bread rolls and the onigiri make good side dishes." Ruka-samaâs offering were gone when I looked up again.
"Well, please decide what you want next time and be sure it will be properly within the budget." I reminded the Goddesses before they started in on my offerings.
"I understand, you know." Mmmble...
"Understood, yeah." Sniff...
"Gotcha." Psssshhh...
"..." (chewing vigorously)
I wasnât sure the Goddesses were really listening to me since they had other things on their mind right then but I just hoped next time I had to make an offering would be a bit easier. Three of them were noisy and annoying like teenagers but the last one, Ruka-sama was quiet and reserved. I suppose since sheâs the youngest thatâs understandable but the other three were truly deplorable. Good grief.
As I was considering the eveningâs events the oracle ended and the Goddessesâ voices were abruptly cut off.
"Fuuuuh~. Finally finished". I stretched. Iâm tired. Iâm going to bed. Gânight.